Well, maybe just a little bit. I wanted that dude to stop drooling over him. And when I understood the only thing he wanted to do was fuck him, how was I supposed to react? Should I have turned the other cheek and pretended it was nothing?
But Lucas rubbed it in my face that I don’t have any right to him anymore, and it hurts me, even though I know it’s true. It also hurts that I again doubted his abilities. It’s a clinging pain, like when you get burned with something you can’t wash away.
I don’t think there’s much else to say. I came here to try to repair things between us and I completely got it wrong. It’s better that I leave.
I stand up and it’s hard to watch his eyes, those hot honey vortexes, because I’m afraid if I stare at them for too long, they will end up swallowing me, preventing me from ever reemerging. I would risk going insane.
I speak without looking at him, with my hands jammed into my pockets.