Chapter 17: Guilt and Shame

(Lana's POV)

I ran and ran, every step I take the more I felt closer to him. My endeavors came fruition when I became certain Alex is on the other of the debris, I can hear the fighting and screaming, it sounded like he's in pain.

So I had to wade and maneuver through, taking one step at time, not intending to stop now, I need to see him. I pushed past through until I was free and turn my gaze to him. But what greeted me was horror.

Alex wasn't fighting shadows.

It was people. Innocent people.

And Alex isn't himself.

His skin is cover in black and red shadows with claws protruding from his fingers and his eyes glowed red. With his scythe in his right hand, he cuts down any civilian that got in his way while wailing in a mix of anger and despair.

"Alex?" I croaked softly, but he did not seem to hear me.

The way he thrashes around tearing flesh, constantly screaming "Shut Up." I briefly understood that this is not his doing.

"Alex!" I called out while reaching out to him.

But that proved to be a bad idea as he swings his scythe at me, I leaned back in instinct to avoid the attack but it only grazed my left stomach and I held the wound to stop the blood flow.

I looked back Alex, whose red bestial eyes peered back at me. It wasn't that was afraid of him, I was afraid for him, that he may be lost.

Then shadows began to disperse from him, and his red and black shadows covering his skin began to fade until his face became visible. He looked at his surrounded and what once was confusion became horror.

I could imagine that he would think it was his fault for something he couldn't control.

I needed to console him.

"Alex." I called softly.

But I didn't realize my wounded state until it was too late. He saw me and became horrified, thinking that he hurt me.

Then he looked at his hands and scythe, all stained with blood.

"I did this." He says I'm a low voice.

How do I tell him it's not his fault? What do I do? I don't know. I still have to try. I walked forward, intent to reach him.

But he saw my action and moved backwards. The terror on my face told me everything I need to know, yet I have no answer.

He looked at his bloody hands once more, and I could a single mutter of despair in his voice.

"Monster."

Before I could realize what was happening, he ran away, turned in a black and red mist and flew straight to the sky.

"Alex wait!" I called out to him but it was too late as he disappeared.

I fell to my knees, contemplating on what happened and what to do.

When he said monster, he must referring to himself. When I first met him in that church, I knew exactly who he was, but he was not a monster everyone claims him to be, he was just a lonely boy with a broken heart. He needs help, to reach out to him, and I can give him that. The more I learn, the more I saw, that he's capable of so much more than his hatred. I vowed that I would attend to him, even if it meant falling in love with him.

But what can I do now? Everything we built, to repair what was damaged inside Alex. Undone.

"My lady?!" Naomi voice called to me.

She broke me out of thoughts as I saw running towards me and knelt down.

"Are you okay? Oh god! You're hurt!" She exclaimed.

I shot up in realization that I was lost in my thoughts to notice I was wounded. I hovered my hand on the scratch and use my power to heal myself.

"Don't worry, it's fine now." I replied with relief as Naomi help me up on my feet.

"Alex?" She asked me.

I shake my in response and she partly accepts my answer then we both looked at the bodies.

"It's a mess." Naomi asked darkly.

I knew what she meant, what she would think.

"It wasn't his fault."

"What do you mean milady?"

Then I grabbed her shoulders and make her face me.

"Listen to me Naomi, Alex didn't mean to do this. He was just blinded and hurt. He's not a monster, there's still good in him. I have hope in him, so we can't give up on him."

Naomi peered back at mine as I pleaded her to not to shun him. After a while, she had expressed some affirmation.

"He must really mean a lot to you. Very well milady, if you trust him, I shall trust him."

She nodded in relief. But then a soft male voice interrupted us.

"You would claim to heal his heart?"

We both went hi-alert as Naomi brandished her daggers. Then I noticed a puddle of black mist on the ground and a dark long-haired man with black angel wings rises from it.

"You are the child of light."

Naomi then steps in front of me with intentions to defend me.

"Who are you?" She demanded.

"I am Valus. The saviour of mankind."

"I know what you did to Alex. You're not a saviour, you made him do kill these people!" I accused.

"I did not my child, I merely whispered to him in the darkness he already bears within. It was he who slained, it is all he is."

"You're wrong. You don't know anything about him." I proclaimed in defiance.

"It is you who knows naught my child. He has not spoken much to you of his past."

He then extends his hand.

"But fear not, I can show you. You only need to accompany me."

"Back off, my mistress is not going with you!" Naomi declared.

"Oh but she is."

Valus then waves his hand and suddenly Naomi was pelted by wave of dark mist from the left.

"NAOMI!!!" I screamed for her as I watched the shadow-like tendrils binded her arms and legs, rendering her immobilized. Then a lone tendril wrapped itself around her neck and began to choke her.

"LET HER GO!!!" I screamed as I summoned a ball of light in my hands.

"Surrender and leave with me, and I shall release her. Do not force my hand child." Valus threatened softly yet dangerously.

A moment of hesitation passed I saw her chokehold getting tighter.

"Alright, I'll go with you. Just let her go." I relent.

The dark angel keeps his word by dispersing the shadows that held Naomi and she collapsed to all fours while coughing.

________________________________________

(Naomi's POV)

After I was released, I immediately take my daggers to attack to save my mistress, but she held up he hand to stop me. Much of my dismay, I understood the situation, I had to concede.

Valus creates a shadowy portal behind him.

"This way child." He commanded as he steps through out of sight.

Lana walks forward and looks at me. I pleaded not to go, but she walked. But then she muttered a message only I could hear.

"Find Alex."

And just like that, she steps through the portal and they both disappeared, leaving nothing but empty air.

I ran forward to where it happened and hammered my fist to the ground.

"Milady! MILADY!!!" I screamed.

I've been her guardian, her protector, for as long as I can remember. Her parents saved me, an orphan, from poverty, and swore an oath to take care of her, even if she was insufferable and selfish at first. I dreaded when she fell ill, but when she recovered, she became the very person I would give my life to.

I now understand why she chose Alex, she must've seen herself in him.

I clenched my fists, picked myself up from the dirt, and walked back to the bus.

I can't save my mistress, but he can.

________________________________________

(3rd Person POV)

It has been quite a while since the attack at Solus Carnival, news has reached all its surrounding villages, including Luciana. The skies had been covered with dark cloud, not a single ray of skylight pass through.

The bus made it back to the orphanage and all the children are safe and accounted for. However it was not a pyrrhic relief. One person, Lana had been taken by the shadows and Alex disappeared.

While Edna stayed with the orphans, Naomi took it upon herself to do needs to be done. To find Alex Crowe, but she has to do something first.

She went to the tavern to report to Miriam of everything.

"I see."

Miriam sat behind her desk, contemplating the chaos that happened as Naomi told.

"While I am glad the children made it back safe. The kidnapping of Ms. Astra and Mr. Crowe's disappearance is quite the distress. And to make matters worse, Luciana and the other towns are terrorized by this darkness catastrophe. I'm afraid we can only spare our available efforts and resources to repel these forces of darkness. According to Blaire, Lana Astra's magic is not like the others, her power of light equals Alex's power and is our only hope to avert this crisis."

"But Lana is still out there. I should be rescuing her, but she asked me to find Mr. Crowe." Naomi protested.

Miriam pushed her glasses up. "And rightfully so. I understand that not only you are her sworn guardian, but also an experienced hunter. But not even you could take on overwhelming odds, only Alex has that power. That's why we need to find him."

"He's not in the church he stays. I don't where he is."

A moment of silence passed as the two realize the gravity of the problem.

"I know where he is." A new voice breaks that silence.

The two women turn their gaze upon a swordswoman clad in red, Alex's twin sister.

"More like I have an idea where he'll be, and I'm coming with." Rena says.

"Are you sure?" Miriam asked with concern.

"I came here to set things right with my brother. It was partly my fault he became the way he is, so I need to be the one to do it." Rena answer with resolve.

Miriam was surprised but did not showed it.

"Very well, you two will go. I have other matters to attend to."

The two nodded and left the office. Leaving Miriam in her thoughts. She remembered the question Alex once asked her in the arena.

'Why does the dead receive more flowers than the living?'

Miriam huffs with a smirk as she stands from her chair and walks to a closet and opens it. She stares the contents in the closet while maintaining the small smirk, she knew the answer to his question for a very long time.

'Regret is much stronger than gratitude.'