Only we take love seriously.

Shushin POV

I ran around holding her hands, then said, "I'm sorry for dragging you into this."

She was breathing hard, and each one of us threw herself around, next to the lake.

She said while breathing hard, "How did you find me?"

I was lying on the ground, looking towards the sky, "I don't know... I felt as if I could find you wherever you were. At that moment, I felt your scent in my nose."

She nodded, "Oh.. like that."

"Look...at the beauty of the blue sky."

She looked at me, "Why did you choose Tian Yang? Instead of Ha Xin?"

I smiled, as I watched the clouds leave the sky in front of me. Towards the south, towards hope, towards spring. Then I said, "I would have chosen him if he had come to me alone, that is, if he had not come because he had to come, but rather if he had come only and alone because of his desire for me to be his wife forever, and not just a woman he loves and got the opportunity to marry her by chance. I do not desire coincidences and love destined through coincidences. I want a man who will come to me without stopping, and for all his ways to lead to me, just because of his desire. I may not consider Tianyang my husband completely, but I feel that we are destined. We were not destined to be a coincidence. Rather, we met by chance and decided to stay together forever, with our eyes, our actions, and our feelings. Perhaps there are a thousand ways for us to move away and restore each other's shadow, but I think we loved each other's company."

Hong nodded, "Mm."

I got up and looked at her, "Who do you think suits me?"

She looked away, at the running water, "I don't know, being married doesn't mean anything. If you don't love him, he will never be your husband. Maybe... the one who suits you is someone who will make you not think about freedom, because there is no freedom in love."

I also looked at the water, "Oh. This makes me...hate to love even more."

"What about you? What does your heart tell you?"

I let out a sarcastic laugh, "I don't think I deserve the feelings of anyone who loves me. I can't decide who I love and who I hate."

She looked at me, "What do you mean?"

"I cannot defend the feelings of my loved ones... because I do not know if they are truly my loved ones. If two people I love are arguing, I will not know which side to stand on. If it is not about something that is right and wrong, if it means that two people I love are insulting each other, I don't know. If I were to say, 'Don't say that, I'm really fine,' or if I were to say, 'Please don't say mean things, I think you crossed the line a little...' I don't know if I deserved to win one of them, while my heart was swaying. Maybe it's because I'm not... confident in the end, I am afraid that I will choose someone with confidence, and it will be terrible in the end, I am afraid that I will lose someone and then discover that I cannot live without him..."

She looked at me and nodded, "It's okay, Shushin."

"How is it okay?"

''If someone is willing to sacrifice everything for you even though they know you are unsure about your feelings, then that is something they decide, not your fault. Every mess we choose is a mess we decide. Their desire to love you is theirs, your approval or rejection. It's something you have the freedom to decide. Fate will twist your story itself, so do not be afraid."

"Love can be everything, yet it can be nothing." I whispered

I nodded to her, "I will be afraid tomorrow, tomorrow I will be afraid, but for today.. I will look at the flowing river, and forget." I looked at her thick, red hair, blowing in the wind, and wondered how it would look throughout the seasons. I hoped to see it next summer.

******

Tian Yang POV

I was looking around for Shushin, until someone put his hand on my shoulder. I turned around, smiling happily, until I found that it was Ha Shin.

"You look disappointed."

I sighed, "Do you find there is a reason to be happy?"

He went to sit next to the fountain, I rolled my eyes and then went to sit next to him.

I told him, "She didn't choose you, how do you feel about this?"

''I kind of never could tell what kind of person she was, but seeing her hurt my heart. She seemed so lonely, but she pretended otherwise for fear of appearing pathetic. She was a woman who did not believe in men, or in a society ruled by men. Simply, she only believes in herself. Because she knows that if she lets herself down, it will be time for her to die, but she will not accept to die for others, or for them to die for her. Perhaps this is because believing in yourself is much easier than trusting others. Even if you betray others, it is not easy to betray yourself. She may seem full of friends who love her now, but because she does not know the meaning of love, does not want to love, does not feel loved, Beloved friends will mean nothing to someone who does not understand love. If you do not understand the meaning of the conversation, no matter how effective it is, it will not move your heart.  in the end when you give up something, the rest of the things give up on you. I still do not know her, and perhaps until my death I will not.''

"Is this what you feel?"

He looked at me, "Tian Yang, I lost her. I didn't think it would be this bad, but I have to move on with my life, and so should she. I came, but I knew. She won't choose me, but what about you? Maybe she will leave you and break your heart. Are you ready? To marry her despite this?"

I said, "Do you know, she may look harsh and her words are harder than stone, but in secret her tears do not stop, and when someone is in pain, she is in pain, she sympathizes and is affected by people, but she is also afraid of breaking her own heart."

I was silent for a while and then continued. "The problem is that you don't understand. I would rather have her never love me than having her hate me forever. This heart and I are helpless and powerless."

He laughed, then put his hands around my shoulders, "You asked me about my relationship with her before, right? She was a free spirit. The people around me insulted her and said things that were not hers. so I also made fun of her and annoyed her, but she was kind and friendly. I made her promises. Then I betrayed her, but she apologized, and I never apologized. No one ever apologized to her. She may live her life for a long time, but those apologies that she never received will haunt her and destroy her soul sometimes. I wish I could make up for her, but I also... I suffered, not because of her, she's not to blame, but I can't love her anymore... Maybe I will miss her all my life, as you said, I would rather she not love me than have her hate me."

I sighed, "I guess, either love is too difficult, or we're too unlucky."

"If you love her, hold on to her completely, but don't blame her if she doesn't love you enough. When you love someone, you must keep in mind that you will sometimes sacrifice a lot for nothing."

"Dad is going to get you married soon, will you just agree?"

Ha Shin smiled and stood up, "Only we take love seriously. My wife, she probably won't think and expect me to love her. This is our world, I can be despicable."

I laughed, "If your wife is anything like Shushen, I'm afraid I will attend your funeral before your wedding."

We laughed together, and it took away a little of my worries today.