Faith, And Untold Thoughts.

(7 p.m., capital. Public restaurant)

A drunk man's voice is heard, ''Hey, did you hear about the queen's marriage? It is said that she married a devil!! Where else will we go? We are an ancient people. How can a filthy devil rule us?''

Another man laughed mockingly, "Is he that handsome? To the point that we would sell our principles!! When will we get rid of those demons? They are so disgusting."

Their friend spoke, putting his hand on his friend's shoulder and looking around, "You're just too drunk, don't talk nonsense.."

The drunk man pushed his friend's hand, "Huh? Nonsense? That queen thinks she can do anything just because she's a witch? She looks down on us. She must have sold her soul to the devils to become a queen, because how is it possible that we've never seen her or even heard of her? But Be crowned queen instead of xin Xiaoyan or Lu Yuxi?"

A voice appeared from behind him, very close, "You are just a silly drunk man who has no life and no value for your life. How dare you mention their names with your filthy tongue?"

The man turned around in anger and resentment, and shouted at the speaker, "What do you mean, you damned woman? You..." He almost finished his words until his vision became clear, and he saw it.

"Princess Lu?." His friend spoke. The drunk man turned to look at him again in shock to confirm the reality of the situation.

She pointed a sword at his neck, "Why are you silent? Those who are honest and right never back down. That woman who you think has sold her soul to the devil, has actually sold her soul."

Everyone's eyes widened in shock at her words, until she continued, "She sold her soul, her youth, and her love for the sake of this country and people like you. That woman is stubborn and annoying to the extreme, but despite that, she continues to sacrifice things that are precious to her. For the sake of this country, and the people who humiliate her in the end."

The man got down on his knees, "Forgive me, princess, I made a mistake."

"Guards." Lu Yuxi said calmly, "He admitted that he was wrong, so go easy on him."

"Please forgive me," the man shouted as he and his friends were being dragged.

"pray to God if you want forgiveness, I am just a messenger, I am carrying out what is written on paper, excuse me."

The owner of the restaurant came and bowed, "Princess, please, I will take you to your place."

The first floor was spacious, in the middle was full of tables, but the sides of the wall were all small closed rooms, separated from each room by a wall. The decor is black and gold.

Yuxi entered the room and sat down.

she said, ''They were right to say these things, why would a queen come to a place like this alone?''

Shushin, was sitting right behind Lu Yuxi in the room next to her, sitting back to back, in different rooms.

Shushin sighed and then laughed lightly, "As you said, I sacrificed many things, so I have to entertain myself sometimes, so that I don't lose my mind."

Lu Yuxi let out a sarcastic laugh, "You keep showing up everywhere in this kingdom, don't you think you're overentertaining yourself?"

Shushin smiled, "Really? I don't think so, I can't live long as a queen, nor can I live as a human, or a witch, or anything, so I'm trying to balance things out."

"I am really surprised. The majority of the people support you, most of the clans as well, but the moment you came to a restaurant, you encountered citizens who did not like you. What luck is this?"

Shushin nodded, "Indeed, I think they don't want me to feel loved. Everyone loves me, but I can't feel grateful for that, nor toward those haters, of course."

''You must enjoy being popular and... loved.''

''Loved? And how can i enjoy this? It's nothing but annoying thing. They don't even know me, no matter how much they think they know. How can you really love someone you don't know?" Shushin said.

Shushin thought in her mind, "That's burden me, i can't be true me with anyone, and i tented to forget slowly who i was. After years, i looked inside, and found out there was nothing there, i worked hard. To find who i was, what i like, and stopped trying to get attention or love.."

"Loved people can never be free. There is no freedom in being loved". When Lu Yuxi did not respond, Shushin spoke again.

"So what? Do you want freedom or to be loved?"

"There is no point in being loved if I can't be free. Being loved means that you are imprisoned. You have to be within the frame of an image that others create for you. There is no freedom inherent in being just a part of the picture, while I can be the photographer or be the homeland."

"I always thought that this was your problem. You admire an idea, turn it into a dream, whether it is good for you or not, beautify it and long for it, and spend your life dreaming about it, and the moment you lose it you fall into the depths, losing the opportunity to save yourself over and over again."

"There is no problem with that. I would mind this more than when anyone enter my world and expect a world similar to his, even if the whole world told me that I should not be. As long as there is no God who tells me clearly that you should be perfect, I will not be. I will become the woman I long to be, and I will fool myself into believing that I have become a perfect woman. Even if I do everything incorrectly, I will still be free and honest. I don't care about this damned world at all, but I can't help but be free."

"So, do you choose yourself or the world?", Lu Yuxi asked.

"What do you think I am? Won't it be ridiculous if I choose the world?"

"It is ridiculous to choose yourself. What would you still be doing in the world if there was no one but you? Wouldn't you feel despicable living alone after choosing only yourself?"

"If God abandons the world, why should I play the heroine and sacrifice myself? If I sacrifice myself for the world, others will live happily, and no one will remember me, and I alone will die in vain. The stories of those survivors, what can I do with them when I am dead? At least If I live one last time before death, I can accept sacrificing myself for a world I will never live in. For a world that does not matter to me."

Shushin laughed and then continued, "Just imagining that I would sacrifice myself so that someone like that man could live...just thinking about that makes me angry."

"What a thought... You are unable to see others happy at your expense. You do not care about the world, others, and at the same time you do not want to interfere. To live a comfortable life, is that possible? You say one thing and do the opposite."

"I'm just telling you. I'm that kind of person. I've always been. If someone stabs me, and there's no hope left for me, I'll take out the knife from my body and stab him. I won't give him a chance to repent. I can never make him live. You can say I'm spiteful, or full of hate and The desire for revenge, say anything and it will not change my truth. I cannot believe that I am an evil woman for thinking like this. Those who think I am crazy are hypocrites who pretend to be saints. In fact, they never forget those who wronged them. They tell their stories over and over again. They never forget. Believing and remembering every mistake made by others, how can they pretend to be saints with such a polluted spirit? Not knowing how ridiculous and petty they are."

Lu Yuxi was silent, listening to Shushin's conversation patiently and calmly. It seemed as if there was some harmony between them. They were saying the deepest things in their hearts, but because they were them, the matter did not seem that serious. They were both queens of winter. Summer never came in the land of their hearts.

"I have met many people like this, unaware of themselves, they judge everyone confidently, even though everyone is better than them, they do not want to admit that they are failures, they have not achieved and will never achieve anything, they only blame the world, they say that the world around them is unjust, and they expect everyone to have the same principles as them. And to live in the same way as they do, as if they are the only ones who matter. Their words and opinions are the law, the only belief, and the others are nothing, even though they are the boastful losers who have every flaw they mentioned in others. I wish there was a woman who would show them their true selves. They always live like the victim, and they basically are. Criminals.

They think that what they are supposed to do is something that others should also do. They prefer someone who does everything, even if he does everything wrong, over someone who does not do anything but does not harm himself or others. A world where you couldn't escape people like them, what an unjust and despicable place that would be? When you know full well that you are a compassionate woman, but those around you are determined to make you a saint, they do not support you, and they do not care about you. They are unwilling to develop themselves. They live like animals, or even worse. They are extremely confident of themselves. They are a destructive force."

Lu Yuxi sighed, "Unfortunately, there is no world without people like them." In the memory of both Lu Yuxi and Shushen, people like that are clearly present in their memories.

"Don't you have faith that perhaps there might be a place we can belong to, a place that does not contain people like them?" Shushin asked.

"There is no freedom in faith."

"This is precisely why we believe, because our freedom may be taken away, but we will have something to console us."

Shushin smiled at the end of her words, "It turns out that even you are searching for your freedom, even if it is faint.."