He was lonely and terrified. Lonely since the only source of strength he had relied on was lost—swept away by his desire to be seen and heard by others. Scared by the fear of being left alone to struggle, never to be able to reach the light at the end of the path his father had once carved out for him.
"I just thought if I-"
Lucas snorted softly, walking through the cold street of the metro with the shoes he had managed to wear for the party, he hummed a familiar tune he had first heard during the open house event at the university.
The song was sung by a famous singer who happened to study there so that everyone could hear it.
The song reminded him of a lost love that he had been meant to be with, however, due to some circumstances of fate and the stark difference between their social status, they were forced to let go of each other.
"I'm so sorry, Father. I never meant to disgrace you. I just thought that maybe if I said my heart out, I would feel better. I would feel free."
When he had first heard the song, Lucas had felt it course through his veins. It was the perfect melody for his lonely life, one devoid of acceptance and burdened to excel from a very young age.
He sighed as he reached his destination and looked up at the familiar address plastered up front. The only house he used to visit when he was a child. The familiar house that had once given him the acceptance that his parents had failed to provide.
Blowing warm breaths onto his hands, he knocked firmly, loud enough to be heard from the inside. Pitter patters of footsteps could be heard from the inside followed by a muffled voice shouting, "WHO IS IT?"
Lucas giggled as he waited and anticipated outside. Moments later, the door swung open, revealing wide-open eyes and a gaping mouth.
"Lucas! What are you doing here?"
Lucas smiled and waved at his friend.
"Jacob, Happy New Year!"
Jacob was taller than him, and had black hair, fair skin and light brown eyes. Lucas used to call him "Sunshine" back in university because his eyes sparkled brightly akin to the sun whenever he smiled.
"It's been so long since I've seen you during graduation. How have you been?"
Jacob hugged his friend warmly and gestured for him to come inside. Lucas happily obliged and giddily entered the house. He was wearing checkered pajamas that looked two sizes too small for his build.
"Well, the usual, this and that. You know, family business and my father's eagerness to hand over the company to me."
Lucas greeted Jacob's parents and began walking to Jacob's room when the latter stopped him from going in.
"What?"
A slight blush appeared on Jacob's cheeks as his hand gripped Lucas's shoulder. The young man looked directly into Jacob's eyes as he tried to understand what his friend was trying to say.
"Jacob, is something wrong?"
"Well, you see…there's someone inside…uh…getting dressed."
The latter could only scratch his cheeks from embarrassment, but just then the room's door opened, revealing a woman with long, flowing black hair, eyes as dark as her hair and the face of an innocent angel.
"Jake-baby? Who's that?"
Lucas stared at the woman in front of him, noticing that her hair was still up, probably wet from showering. He looked at her from head to toe, feeling his heart slowly shatter. She was exactly Jacob's type.
"Lucas, this is Bella, my girlfriend."
Lucas froze and his mind couldn't function for a moment. He could feel his eyes sting as tears started to form. He took a deep breath, lowered his head and sniffed away, trying to hold back the tears.
'Of course. He would have a girlfriend. He is not like you.'
Jacob gasped when he noticed his friend's trembling shoulders.
"Lucas! Hey, what's wrong?"
Lucas could barely hear his voice, as if the truth had slapped him straight on his face—a truth he had hoped would never come. He stood frozen, staring at the marble floor, trying to compose himself.
"Lucas!"
Jacob's voice snapped him out of his daze, jolting him to the core. Lucas blinked, wiped his tears away and took a deep breath.
"Are you really okay?"
Lucas nodded, his eyes still puffy as he turned to face them.
"Yes, of course. I was just surprised, but I am happy that you have finally met the person you truly adore."
Jacob blushed as he lightly punched Lucas's shoulder, pushing the latter away.
"Stop it. It's embarrassing."
Lucas couldn't help but giggle as he continued to tease his friend in front of the woman. He then took another deep breath before turning to look at the lady and extended his hand toward her.
"I'm Lucas. It's a pleasure to meet you. Please take care of him. He can be a bit naughty sometimes."
"Bella. The pleasure's all mine."
Bella giggled as she accepted Lucas's handshake.
"I've heard so much about you."
A practiced business smile appeared on Lucas's lips, one he had learned from his father during countless business trips.
He turned to Jacob with a glare when he heard what Bella said, the fellow just put both of his hands up with his eyes wide open and his mouth shut.
"All the good things, buddy. All the good things!"
Lucas chuckled as he ruffled Jacob's hair.
"Well, uh, Jacob, could I ask where I can change clothes?"
Jacob blinked as he looked at his friend with confusion. It was the first time that he had heard Lucas talk that way. Especially with him.
Bella nudged Jacob, snapping him out of his momentary stupor. He stuttered before looking at his girlfriend and pointing his friend to the other bathroom near his parent's room.
"That way."
Lucas nodded and quickly excused himself from the couple before heading inside the bathroom as fast as he could. The moment the door closed behind him, tears began to fall from his eyes.
He was shell-shocked, to say the least. He had never expected his friend to find a girlfriend, especially not right after they graduated from university. Jacob had been his friend since he could remember.
He was the first person to truly understand what was going on with Lucas since the latter had endured a dreadful childhood at the hands of his parents. But he never anticipated such a thing to happen.
Lucas was ecstatic to see Jacob happy, but not like this. In all honesty, Lucas felt deep emotions whenever he was with his best friend. His heart always skipped a beat whenever Jacob did something small yet appreciative, especially in the eyes of someone who had been starved of affection.
Lucas cried quietly in the bathroom of his friend's home on a New Year's Eve that would carve an unforgettable, painful memory in his mind.