Chapter 32
“Alright, Theo, are you going to pick ass number one, ass number two, or ass number three?” Min, the game-show hostess, asked. The audience erupted in noise, shouting who to pick. “Come on, Theo, your time is almost up! Make! Your! Choice!”
I clapped my hands over my ears. “What do you mean, pick one? I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” To my horror, the three asses gaping at me began to speak. “Pick me, Theo,” they each mouthed, “pick meeeeeeee.”
I tried to squeeze my eyes shut, but my eyelids weren’t cooperating.
“Pick, Pick, Pick!” the audience began to chant, “PICK, PICK, PICK!”
“No! I can’t!” I cried, spinning about, looking for an escape. “I don’t know what that means!”
Bells began to ring in time with the audience’s chanting—brrrrring, brrrrring, brrrrring!
Brrrrring, brrrrring, brrrrring,buzzed my phone. I groaned, reaching out blindly for it.
“Hello?” I said in a gravelly, still-sleeping voice.
“Theo? Is that you?”