CHAPTER 1

No matter how much you think you know someone, it's never for sure. No matter how much they assure you and overwhelm you with words, it can all turn into a lie in the blink of an eye. You never know what goes on in someone's brain and that is scary. People leave, people change and you let them because what else can you do? I felt a slap at the back of my head, "Hey!" I snapped at Holly and tried to hit her arm but she dodged it. "You've been sitting here in your thoughts for about 20 minutes now. Its freaking me out", she said as she took a sip of her coffee. We were sitting on the left corner of a small coffee shop; it wasn't crowded, the place was pretty much empty but there is just something so comforting about sitting in the corner of rooms. Its like a safe space for me. "And she's gone again, this is what happens when you stay up all night playing with yourself, Your. Brain. Stops. Working." I could hear her mumble, "You know I can hear you, right?" I looked at her, trying to hide a smile. She shrugged and went back to drinking her coffee and scrolling on Instagram. I had recently moved out of my ex's apartment, more like he kicked me out. We had been dating for 2 years and I was convinced he was the one but, things started to change. He started getting distant, and 'busier with work'. I didn't do anything about it because I understood how hard work can get sometimes. It went like that for about a month, until I decided to talk to him about it. His initial reaction was denial, then anger, and for some reason, he made it seem like it was my fault.

You're so uptight, it doesn't feel like a relationship, it feels like work, like I do everything I could to keep this alive and you do nothing! That was not true. You make everything hard for me, I feel restricted like- like jail! You keep letting the past get a hold of you and I am sick and tired of being there for you. I have a life, I have friends! Ouch.

I thought of starting some sort of small talk with Holly. It wasn't as if I didn't want to be there, she had been my best friend as long as I could remember, she was family. She was there for me when no one else was. I owed a lot to her. "How's the business going?" I asked her. Holly had been making art her entire life, and she's pretty good at it! This one day, she got the very intense urge to do something about it, and decided to quit her job and start a business. I didn't stop her because she's always been this passionate girl, her passion motivates me. "It's been absolutely hectic. I am drained and I haven't had a good sleep in days", she chuckles. "But, on a more positive note, im glad im doing this independent thing, even though its growing at a slow pace, I'm pretty satisfied with it." "I'm proud of you, because I could never. And I'm here for you if you need anything." I was honestly worried about her half of the time. She was a free spirit and sometimes (all of the times) that would end up in chaos. "You want to go to the club tonight? It's been forever since we went together." The last time we went together, I ripped my dress from the side and I was too drunk to notice it, and went home with this guy I was too drunk to remember. It was epic. "Oh my god, I have a date tonight! Oh my god I completely forgot. He's gonna pick me up at 7", she started to panic. "Hollz it's 3:30 pm. You have plenty of time babe." She drank the remaining of her coffee "You talking as if you don't know me. I need my time!" She gave me a kiss on the cheek and got up. "I'll call you! Or text you! If I don't, assume im dead in the hot guy's apartment. Bye!" Before I could say something, she was out. "Bye babe" I whispered to myself. I guess im alone at the club tonight.