A Kind Soul (1)

Mina's POV

Perceiving that Hannes was about to give Mikasa and Armin a pep talk, I immediately used that chance to dismiss myself while telling them that I'd check up on the wounded soldiers. Ignoring the looks that they had given me, I stood up with the ration that Hannes had given, all the while munching on it as I made my way toward the fallen bodies of my superiors. I honestly don't want to hear more about the trio's relationship since it'll ruin everything that Ymir had calmed me for.

"You don't want to hear what they have to say?" Ymir whispered near my ear, an act that would have made me flinch in the past. However, now that it's becoming a daily occurrence for us to communicate, it only left me feeling confused. "It's about your parents, you know. I never gave you the chance to hear it back in the second world." 

Yeah… but…

While ensuring no one was looking, I turned my back and faced the vast land that was made not too long ago, a battlefield by the attack and armored titan. Upon placing the ration in between my teeth, I lifted both of my bandaged arms and began to write on the palm of my left hand.

I don't think I can take it.

"Take what?" After a few seconds of silence, she continued. "Oh."

Yeah… While taking back the ration in my hand and taking a bite out of it, I couldn't help but close my hand from all the uselessness I was currently feeling. 

Because I'll definitely lose it at that point.

And I don't think someone as ancient as Ymir can even stop me from whatever reckless things I might say. Being an Ackermann means that I'll forever be loyal to my chosen one. However, being a Yeager would surely bring forth my aggressive and reckless nature. Hence, knowing how vulnerable I currently am, I chose to put some distance between us. Or else… I might do something that I'll forever regret. 

Like telling everyone who is currently awake that we must make haste and immediately move out. 

Amidst my inner contemplation, a set of footsteps immediately garnered my attention as my gaze landed on a petite figure. Knowing that I'd act on reflex and salute her, I instantly held my arm back, all the while giving her a polite smile. "Krista, are you feeling well?" 

The young future queen of Paradis slowly made her way to my side while she answered my question. "Yes, Mina. Thanks for asking. I'm just… worried about Ymir, is all."

Ymir…

Like how worrying about Eren isn't enough; just thinking about what would happen to her right after this fight is over makes all of my insides turn as bile rises in my throat.

Hold it in. I twisted my head away from her and placed the back of my hand that continues to hold the ration on top of my lip, frowning after realizing that her death is essential for future scenarios to take place. Let it go, Yeager. Isn't saving Eren your top priority?

"…"

No…

That's not exactly the case… isn't it?

"I'm an idiot…" I whisper to myself, chuckling as I take one last bite of my ration before quickly placing the wrapper in the pocket I've sewed inside my leather jacket. I knew that Krista heard what I just said, and it was not exactly wise of me to do so. After all, if I mess up and someone other than the commander realizes who I truly am, then who knows what kind of havoc the devil would make?

However, this time, in my vulnerable state, I couldn't help but want someone to listen. It is risky and useless of me to act like so, especially since I have that ancient being on my side who seems to support my endeavors these past few days. But seeing someone in their physical form who is willing to listen to my worries is different. 

"Why do you say so, Mina?" Krista tilts her head while giving me a worried glance. It's dirty of me to take advantage of her 'kindness,' but with the next scene set in place and knowing full well how it would end, I couldn't help but feel disgusted with my current decision. It'll hurt her, one that will forever haunt her, but Ymir's death will serve as a way to develop her character. 

And I hate the fact that having her friend die is the only way for her to grow. 

Whoever the fuck made this world really hates humanity on a large scale.

"Krista, when Eren was battling the Armored Titan, I told him something." I clenched my fist while recalling that particular scene, narrowing my eyes due to how cowardly I sounded back then. "I told him that if Reiner and Bertolt succeeded in taking him away, he should use that chance to gather information about them. And I hate the fact…" I closed my eyes and tilted my head upwards, cursing my uselessness. "That I even made him think that he'll lose against that bastard." 

But even so, his loss in that fight remains as a piece of factual information, one that Ymir made me witness back in the second world.

"So, I apologize." I finally opened my eyes again and bowed my head toward the future queen of Paradis. "If my intervention led to this outcome, then I'm partially at fault that your friend got involved."

"Heh…" Ymir hovered near my ear, amused at how I was currently acting. "So, this is your way to lessen the burden you've shouldered. How cowardly, young Yeager."

"…"

I know.

But I'd rather do this than stab myself as I did in the previous world. 

Ymir hummed and shifted to my other side, making me imagine her figure floating above my head. "You're that affected, huh? Even though this is your second time experiencing this, you still can't stand it?"

No.

And I don't think I ever will.

"Mina, please lift your head!" Krista frantically waved her hands just when I obeyed her request as a form of reflex. "You don't have to apologize! I'm just… no, I'm sure that Ymir will be fine. She's a strong soldier! That's why we must take them back, no matter what happens."

"No matter what, huh…" Just then, a memory of mine from the second world passed through my vision, making me see a land filled with titan corpses and dismembered body parts of the soldiers. It's a familiar scene, one that I always dream about, so I simply closed my eyes and forced a smile out of my face. "That's right. Let's save them."

Him.

"No matter what."

***