You’re not helping

As a general rule, kitten hybrids are small and disinterested in what other people want them to do, slightly evil and a little bit manipulative. Noah prides himself on being all of those things to varying degrees, but especially on being uninterested in what other people tell him to do. He's still human goddammit, despite his pointy ears and penchant for curling up in the sun and taking naps. He's going about his daily business, knocking things over where he sees fit and leaving a trail of mess in his wake. As exasperated as it makes Lincoln he's used to it by now, having shared a flat with Noah for almost three years now, and if Noah whines enough he'll even clean up after him. It's a great life, really.

With the exception of Lincoln's stupid broad shouldered entirely too big mate, the one who always comes over to watch sports with him. Noah hates that guy. His hair is always greasy and he brings weird hipster beer with him when he comes that tastes like shit. And he won't even let Noah have any of it, either. The only reason Noah even knows what it tastes like is because one time he stole a bottle from the fridge and fled to his room before Hayes could catch him. It's ridiculous, is what it is. Noah is nineteen years old, well over the legal drinking age. He doesn't need to be treated like a child by some overgrown toddler. So what if the beer hadn't been his in the first place. Everyone knows that it's only polite to provide for everyone when bringing drinks over to someone else's house.

The stupid hipster is here now, sitting with his feet propped up on Noah's coffee table, probably getting it all scuffed and dirty. Noah scowls in his direction from the kitchen, where he is absolutely not hiding, thank you very much, and inches his fingers out to snag Hayes' bag from where it's sitting on the countertop, pulling it slowly towards him. It slides along silently. Noah keeps one eye on the living room, making sure neither Hayes or Lincoln are going to turn around and see him, and then, once the bag is close enough, scoops it up and ducks down behind the counter, settling his bum on the cold tile. He's hidden from view and the others are busy watching American football - as if that's even a real sport - so now is the perfect time to go through Hayes's things.

By which he means mess with Hayes's things.

The inside of Hayes' messenger bag is pretty boring - there's a couple textbooks, a notebook, some pens, a water bottle. A calculator, which Noah wrinkles his nose at, because maths, and his phone.

Ooh. His phone. Who's stupid enough to leave their phone in their bag with Noah around, honestly. It's like he's asking for Noah to do evil things to it. Noah is in the middle of changing all the contacts in Hayes's phone to a synonym of DICK, having already changed his background photo and hidden all of his music, when he's gripped by the back of his neck and hauled to his feet. He yelps, things sliding off his lap and onto the floor and nearly loses his grip on the phone.

_

Intently watching the game, Hayes shoved Lincoln's irritating voice out of his head as the older man continued to pester him, begging for a beer that wasn't lukewarm and just the nasty foam that clung to the bottom of the bottle. Apparently it was Hayes' turn to play bitch and fetch, so when the commercials finally began to play, he shot Lincoln a glare and stood. "Your last name perfectly fits you, asshole." Hayes grumbled as he kneed past the man and walked into the kitchen, not passing up the opportunity to grab a chunk of broccoli off the platter Lincoln had set up behind the couch, and throw it at the man which earned him a high pitched whine followed by unintelligible grumbling-- he lived to annoy him.

Sniggering as he ducked the returning item of choice thrown at him, Hayes ran into the kitchen. Occupied with brushing the few clumps of the exploded broccoli from his hair, he almost stepped on the little kitten hiding on the floor, and was about to apologize with his foot slowly retreating to find solid ground that wasn't the thigh of a stranger, when he noticed his messenger bag and phone clutched in the paws of Lincoln's ridiculously annoying friend, who's name he couldn't exactly remember. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Hayes growled, fingers squeezing the back of the kittens neck as he hauled him to his feet and kept him in place.

Noah offered no explanation, choosing instead to grace the man with a self-satisfied smirk. He was feeling very proud of himself, and regretted nothing. That soon turned into a grimace when Hayes' hold on the back of his neck tightened, pulling a small squeak from the boy. Hayes was so annoying. He was literally the only person Noah hadn't managed to wrap around his little finger. So it really wasn't his fault that they often found themselves in predicaments like this. And truly that was exactly what this was. How could Noah not mess with Hayes when he walked around just asking for it. Cocky smirk, carrying himself around like he fucking owned the place. Entitled fucking prick. Didn't help one bit that he was unbelievably attractive when he did. So yes, predicament.

"I just made a few adjustments. Might be helpful actually," he muttered. He figured thrashing around wouldn't get him out of Hayes' hold so he took in a deep breath and with a menacing gleam in his eyes set on Hayes, he shouted "Lincolnnnn!" As soon as the other male entered the room, Noah's expression changed drastically, turning as pitiful as he could possibly muster. "He's hurting me," he cried, clawing at Hayes's ridiculously large paws. Uncivilized bear. Lincoln always took his side, so Noah had no doubt that he would come to his rescue yet again.

Hayes scoffed and rolled his eyes to find Lincoln, expecting to see his best mate sharing the same look of distaste for the kitten he held, but instead he got a scowl that quickly changed into a scolding look as Lincoln jabbed a finger at Noah before pointing towards the ground, the unspoken demand not going over Hayes' head. "You're ridiculous, Lincoln . He's always fucking things up like this, and you always take his side without even liste-- for fuck sakes, stop!" Hayes dropped the struggling cat who'd been clawing him like a fucking psycho druggy feigning for a fix. Cupping a hand over the long, deep scratches that began at his wrist and drug down to just above his knuckles, Hayes felt as the blood began to seep in between the cracks of his fingers and once again fixed his eyes on Noah. "You're fucking insane-- and lucky, because if I didn't respect Lincoln (or his tv) so much I'd have thrown you out the fucking window already." Then, turning to Lincoln , he abandoned pressing against his wounds and gestured to his things. "This always happens, Payne."

Lincoln approached them quickly, petting Noah's hair and comforting the boy. The boy wrapped himself around Lincoln, clinging to him and looking very much like a bristled and angry hedgehog. Except for the smug expression he shot Hayes when Lincoln wasn't looking. His smile widened when he knew Hayes had caught it. He liked Lincoln. Good human being. Naive, just how he liked it. He could always count on him to get him out of trouble.

"He's just a kitten. He doesn't mean it," Lincoln cooed, running his hand through Noah's hair, soothing where Hayes had tugged.

"I didn't mean it," Noah backed, looking up at Hayes, pouting.

"S' fine, kitten," Lincoln assured, scratching behind Noah's ear and smiling at him adoringly.

Hayes stared at the two, giving an incredulous scoff at what exactly was going on. Lincoln was a man who usually responded well to reason and was the clear headed friend among them, but when he was around Noah he became cloudy and always backed the boy, even if the grinning feline was to murder someone and still have their blood staining them. If Hayes hadn't known that Lincoln was, in fact, straight, he would assume the older man was head over heels in love with the kitten, and he would relentlessly tease him, but upon getting to know how the two worked together, he learned Noah was simply playing into that helpless kitten persona and Lincoln was always a sucker for the victims, for the weak people, for the ones who couldn't defend themselves-- Hayes was the complete opposite. He thrived around the assholes, the ones who picked fights because they knew they'd win.

"Whatever. Continue to fondle him like some fucking perv, Li. I'm leaving." Hayes growled as he gathered his things, flipping Noah off with a blood stained finger when he saw his phone background was of a very, very tiny dick. It wasn't as if the tall male had anything against kittens, either. He just really despised Noah and his childish tendencies- had since the beginning. He was a grown kitten, yet still acted like a teenager would, their bodies run rampant with hormones as they learned about their heats. Ninety percent of them were out of control, and it truly wasn't their fault. Then again, Noah wasn't really to blame either. Lincoln coddled him far too much; treated him like a proper pet. "Call me when you're done giving into your beastiality kink, Lincoln. Maybe I'll forgive you, and not kick your arse."

Noah flinched at Hayes's last comment. He didn't like when people derided him about his feline, or rather, animal characteristics. Or simply referred to him as an animal. He'd grown up around a lot of insults tailored to ridicule that part of him. He didn't however dwell on it for longer than a moment, deciding he'd get Hayes back for it with his next schemes.

"Hayes, don't be like that," Lincoln groaned, following after him. "Noah will apologize," he said, looking at the hybrid boy pointedly. Noah's jaw dropped at that, and he gave Lincoln a 'what the fuck' look. His tail wagged to the side in an aggressive motion. Lincoln kept his gaze pointed and stern. "Especially considering... uh-" Lincoln began, looking at them both, one after the other sheepishly.

"I was wondering if Noah could stay with you. For a week, possibly two," he rushed out in a quick breath. Noah's head snapped towards Lincoln , looking at the man incredulously. "What the hell, Li?!" He yelled, ears standing up and twisting backwards.

"I promised my mum I would visit and lend a hand with the garden for winter. All the other guys are out of town and I really can't cancel because I don't want her tiring herself out too much. She's still recovering," he explained, shooting Hayes a desperate look of plea. In this scenario, Noah would be on Hayes's playground. Hayes's rules. He was beginning to hyperventilate at the thought, turning his attention back to Hayes with a look of mortification.

"No! I don't want that!" He snapped angrily. He really didn't like that idea one bit, his tail now fully puffed up and swaying from side to side rapidly.

"I think this is actually a great opportunity. You're both important to me and you'll be seeing a lot of each other when my wedding comes around. So maybe it's time we buried the hatchet, hm?" He suggested enthusiastically.

"This could be a great bonding experience. And maybe by the end of this, you can at least learn to coexist without trying to rip each other's throats out? You have to help me out here," he finished with a groan.

Hayes blanched at Lincoln 's little speech, and for the first time since meeting the ridiculous pet he's kept around, Hayes agreed with him wholeheartedly. This would end in disaster, and Noahwould wind up dead or out on the street before the first night even passed. When Lincoln subtly threw in the sympathy card by bringing up his mother's illness, Hayes shot him a glare.

"That's not fair, Lincoln . You know as well as I do that neither of us will survive a week alone in my house. Hell, we can't even get along for five minutes!" He snapped, waving an angry hand at Noah before he, without shame, showed Lincoln the scabbing scratches on his hand, the stinging now knocked down to a dull throb. He knew it would do nothing, because frankly, Lincoln was hard headed. He would stop at nothing to get his way, especially if he believed the outcome would be Hayes and Noah buddying up.

"Bringing your mother's illness into this is low, Li, really low," and the eldest man knew it. That's why he even attempted to use his mother's sickness, because he knew the pity both Hayes and Noah would take on him. They would reluctantly agree, and if Lincoln had any hope at all, it was that when he returned home at the end of the week, both males would be friends or at least getting along semi-well. It was ridiculous the two most important people in his life, next to his fiance, weren't getting along and refused to even try.

"It's a no from me," Noah said with a sense of certainty, walking out of the room and tipping a lampshade off a decorative table for good measure. Serves Lincoln right for even considering something so outrageous. "Not with him. I'll stay with fucking Dunham before I agree to that," he muttered angrily-loud enough to ensure they heard him as he made his way to his room but then took a u-turn back to plead his case further. "Lincoln why can't I stay here?" He suggested, eyes sparkling and mouth turning up in a pleading pout. He turned to gauge Hayes's face to make sure the man wasn't considering giving in. "He's a domineering prick. I refuse to be anywhere near him without you around."

"Plus, I can handle myself here," he assured quickly. Lincoln did not trust Noah to keep the house intact and not have set it on fire by the time he's back.

"And you're any better? You're a manipulative child who can't take anything seriously," Hayes snapped, not taking his eyes off Noah as he stomped forward and was suddenly crowding his space, towering over him with heated eyes locked on the kitten, using his height as intimidation because if there's one thing he's learned the kitten hates-- it's his height.. "Go with Dunham, let him take care of you. A manipulating narcissist with an emotionless sociopath is the perfect fucking pairing." Hayes absolutely hated Nick Dunham, almost as much as he did Noah although the glaring cat would always top him.

Noah furrowed his eyebrows, sinking into himself a little. Granted they hated each other's guts, but this was the first time he'd seen such open contempt from Hayes. And everything he said struck a nerve with the boy. He glared at him, unwilling to back down. "This is just great. You don't want me to stay with you, Hayes. You really don't," he threatened the much taller man towering over him.

"You're not helping," Lincoln groaned, throwing the hybrid an offhanded glare.

Swiping a hand down his face to try and calm himself, Hayes turned away from Noah and looked at Lincoln, hope softening his eyes even as his words were spoken with a certain hardness, leaving no room for this discussion to progress.

"He is not staying with me, regardless on what fucking sympathy card you use." His mum could be dying and Hayes would still say no. "Find someone else to take the stray. I'm leaving." Grabbing his bag, Hayes stomped out of the kitchen and was just reaching the front door when Lincoln called his name, and despite knowing there was nothing the man could say that would change his mind, Hayes still stopped and let his head fall forward to hit the door as he groaned.

Lincoln gestured for the kitten to stay before following Hayes out of the room. "Hayes," he implored, coming to stand a couple of inches behind the man. "Please?" He tried again in a softer voice. "I wouldn't ask if I weren't completely out of other options. Just a week," he promised when the man turned around to face him.

"Forget about the second week, I'll work something out with a friend back home. I'll do anything to make it up to you. I just really need to make this visit." Lincoln had no idea whether any of this impacted Hayes' decision as much as the unspoken words that lingered between them did. 'You owe me this,' his stare held.

Given a moment to think while Lincoln rambled on, Hayes found Noah's sharp blue eyes watching them intently from where he was hidden in the doorway, ears just barely peeking past the wall.

Noah was doing his best to listen in on the conversation, his ears flickering in distaste as it went on for so long. Why were they even still discussing it when both him and Hayes were clearly so against the arrangement. He huffed, pacing around before staying put to listen to the tail end of the conversation.

Well, whatever they decided, Noahwas certain it wasn't going to affect him because, simply enough, he wasn't going. No matter the verdict. He could hold his own. Hayes was beautiful. But he was a beautiful jackass. And Noah never signed up for this. A week of living with no-bullshit Hayes sounds like what you'd threaten a kid to clean up their act with. Christ, it was probably enough to get said kid to go to rehab and undergo a full reformation process with.

With an annoyed sigh and eyeroll, Hayes arched an eyebrow and glared at Lincoln, taking the hint and unspoken reminder what the man had, in fact, done for Hayes just last summer.

"You didn't have to agree to do it, Li. You're your own ma--" suddenly cutting off as an idea planted itself in Hayes' head, the man grinned. An entire week with Noah, to torment him and relentlessly tease him without big bad Lincoln running to his rescue. His flat was his domain, his territory which meant they were his rules, and as much as he despised Noah he admired his kinds strict, and fierce devotion, to following rules; regardless of personal feelings or emotions.

With the new intent in mind, Hayes winked at Noah before pressing a hand over Lincoln's still rambling mouth, frowning when the man still continued to try and speak, resulting in saliva painting Hayes's palm. "I'll do it," the man finally said, agreeing to something that may very well end with him going to prison. "As long as Noah follows my rules, and promises not to break anything." With or without his tail, Hayes added silently as he watched the fluffy, poofed out thing wave frantically at his agreement.

Although Lincoln was shocked beyond belief that Hayes had actually given in, he tried his best not to show it. He didn't want Hayes changing his mind about this. "Great, then. So I'll talk to Noah. And we'll see you in the evening?" He posed casually, ending the conversation like it had been the most mundane kind.

Lincoln was always the poor old sap who tried doing the right thing, even when it was so clearly wrong.

Giving a curt nod, Hayes glared one last time at Noah before he quickly scampered out of the apartment, away from the two men and towards the safety of his own flat-- which would, very soon, be tainted with Noah. He'd have to fucking proof his house, much like new parents do when they have a child. Still, the simple thought of the outcome of this was enough to keep Hayes happy and positive as he bought a few cat toys from the closest shop on his way home, knowing damn well that even kitten hybrids weren't immune to them. It was fucked up, yes, and possibly a very cruel joke, but it could keep Noah entertained in the moments of sanity Hayes had when he realized how badly he'd fucked up.