Sweet Release

*Drip*

It's so cold…

*Drip*

As I slouched against a wall, I placed a hand on my shirt and lifted it up so I could see my stomach.

*Drip*

I watched as blood flowed out, leaving my body and resting on the floor.

*Drip*

Gathering some energy, I looked around the room I found myself in. It was dim and musty. Where am I?

*Drip*

I looked up at the ceiling as water seeped through, making an annoying noise. I tuned it out so I could die in peace.

…

Closing my eyes, my thoughts started to speed up as I went over my life.

…

My immediate family died in a car accident.

They were coming home from a road trip when a drunk driver swerved into their car head-first.

I was only 6, and I didn't want to go, so I was dropped off at my aunt and uncle's house for the time being.

The moment I got the news was etched in my mind.

I was in the living room with my cousin, Naomi, and I was reading her a book. She was one year younger than me, so we got along pretty well.

*Ding dong*

That was when the doorbell rang. I wasn't allowed to answer it, but I was curious, so I peeked out the window.

I vividly remember my heartbeat speeding up when I saw a police car outside. I thought we were in trouble for something.

I quickly ran to my aunt's room, but she was already headed to the door.

"Aunt Karin! There's police outside!" I yelled, panic in my voice.

She glanced at the window, saw their lights, and sped up her pace.

"Stay in the living room with Naomi." she said as she walked by me.

I did as she told and ran back, finding Naomi looking at me with tears in her eyes.

"are we in trouble?" Her soft voice tugged on my heartstrings. I didn't want her to start crying, so I placed my hand on her head very gently and told her everything was okay.

We stood there, anxiously waiting for news about why they were here.

A few seconds passed, but it felt like hours. We couldn't hear any dialogue, and I didn't want to leave Naomi alone, so I stayed where I was.

I thought I could hear a faint sound of Aunt Karin crying, and that made my heart beat even faster.

A few more minutes passed, and the door closed.

Aunt Karin walked toward me and told me to sit down. Her tear-stained face made my anxiety levels rise.

And that's when she told me the news.

My mind went blank, and everything was blurred. My aunt was crying, Naomi was crying, but I wasn't.

I don't think I fully understood what was happening yet. But I didn't cry or say anything for the rest of the day.

It was when it turned night, the day I was supposed to be picked up, that I sat alone in the room I stayed in and realized—they were never coming home. I would never see them again.

All at once, it hit me: despair, loneliness and anger at myself for being stubborn and not going with them.

Though I eventually understood that I wouldn't have changed anything but the death count, those were still my feelings at the time.

I have no memory of the next few days; I just remember the feelings I had.

I stayed with my aunt for a few more months while my grandparents bought a new home and had me move in with them.

They were 7 hours away and it meant I'd barely see my aunt and Naomi anymore.

When it was time to leave, Naomi cried and asked me to stay, but it wasn't up to me.

I gave her a hug and told her I'd make sure to visit her when I could.

And then I left.

Several years later, I was doing better as I got accustomed to the new city I was in.

I had just turned 15. It was still 4 years before the next major—and final—event of my life happened.

I was in a new school and made some friends.

Four, to be exact.

First was Alexia. She had long purple hair and was beautiful. I met her on the first day of school and we've been friends ever since. We had common interests in shows and books. Neither her nor I were very social so we tended to rely on each other. 

Even with that though she was still pretty popular and top of the class.

Second was Daniel. He had short black hair and was pretty athletic. He was an asshole to almost everyone and wasn't someone I'd usually hang around with, as I found him annoying. I only became 'friends' with him because was always around Alexia, as they were childhood friends.

It was obvious he liked her, as he'd constantly hit on her. Their conversations were usually one-sided, so I got the feeling she didn't like him very much.

The next three were Daniel's lackeys. Considering he was pretty wealthy, he had his standard bootlickers. They didn't have much of a presence in my mind, as their only role was to listen to whatever Daniel said and act as his goons.

Anyway, that was the group I hung out with through high school, all the way up until our first days of college. Over time, I got closer with Alexia, and I knew we felt the same way about each other, and I was planning to ask her out.

But then something changed.

Even though so much time passed, Daniel and his friends were the same as usual, which wasn't surprising.

But what worried me the most was that Alexia was acting strange. She got quieter, barely even speaking to me. I tried talking to her about it, but she'd just shake her head and say everything was fine.

I also noticed Daniel's usual flirtations stopped, and tensions in the group were rising.

It reached its boiling point on the day before my 19th birthday.

We were in the cafeteria in the morning when team Daniel walked in.

I was sitting next to Alexia and we were discussing plans for tomorrow when Daniel called out to her.

"Good morning, Alexia." He smirked as he stared at her.

She raised her head and looked at him with anger in her eyes but said nothing.

"What kind of wife doesn't greet her new husband?" Like a bombshell went off, I sat there shocked and confused.

*SLAM*

Alexia slapped the table and stood up.

"I don't care what our families say, I will never marry a disgusting waste of space like you!" The anger in her eyes intensified. I'd never heard or seen her so upset.

Daniel was unfazed, though, and he coolly replied,

"A contract has already been made. I went to the trouble of asking my grandfather to step in. You know what this means. I tried pursuing you the right way, but you rejected my advances." He smiled and shook a piece of paper in front of her face.

She snatched it and read over it. Soon tears began running down her face.

"I've had copies made. Go ahead and rip it up if you want; it's futile." Daniel laughed, and his friends laughed with him.

The shock wore off and was replaced by anger, especially when I saw the usually calm Alexia brought to tears.

I stood up and stood in front of Daniel.

"What the fu—" *Bang*

Before I could even finish my sentence, I felt all the air leave my body.

I got punched in the stomach by one of the lackeys, Keven.

He was fairly tall and played sports along with Daniel. Considering that I didn't get into many fights, it was the hardest hit I'd ever received.

"Stop! Don't touch him!" Alexia yelled at them.

Everyone in the cafeteria was looking at us, but I was busy searching for oxygen.

I didn't see the next few parts; all I know is Alexia helped me stand up, asking if I was okay.

She gave me a hug and smiled at me as more tears cascaded down her cheeks.

I could see love in her eyes, which would've normally made me happy if I didn't see the sorrow that flashed right after.

She told me she'd be right back and walked away… that was the last time I saw her.

I sat around for the next few days in anger. At Daniel and at myself. I didn't know all the details of the situation, but from what I heard, it was obvious she was being forced to marry him.

The first person I've truly loved that wasn't a family member… I didn't want to lose her.

But I knew I was weak. Physically, mentally, and financially. I may not have known how powerful their families were, but they definitely had more power than I did.

Instead of sitting there feeling sorry for myself, I decided to do something.

What? I didn't know, but I couldn't just sit there.

I got up and went to the front door of the apartment I was staying in.

And when I opened it, I saw a face I wasn't expecting.

Daniel and his buddies. Right next to him was my bastard of a landlord with a flattering smile on his face.

"Is this the one you're looking for, young master?" 

My guard went up immediately as I tried to close the door, but Daniel stopped it with a single finger.

I used a lot of force, and though he was athletic, there's no way he could stop the door with one finger that easily.

His friends rushed in and tackled me, pinning me to the floor.

"What the—?!"

He didn't say anything, just looked at me with hatred in his eyes.

That was when David punched me in the face, and I lost consciousness.

I woke up in some random building an unknown amount of time later.

There was low lighting, and it smelled horrible.

I looked up to see Daniel staring at me.

"Alexia's dead. She killed herself." He said it so matter of factly that I had a hard time processing it.

"Everything should've gone fine—no—everything WAS going fine! Until you showed up and ruined it!" *Bang*

He punched me in the stomach.

His punch hurt a lot more than Keven's. I felt something tear inside of me, and the pain was so intense that I couldn't even scream.

"Five long years, burying my anger as you were so friendly with her. You should've never even been near her, trash!" *Bang*

There was a lot of information, and unlike the time I learned of my family's death, the pain made sure I remembered every part that came next.

After I got punched again, they—

*SLAM*

"Fuck!"

My eyes shot open as a sharp pain woke me up from my memories. I guess as my body grew weaker, I fell over, and my head hit the ground hard.

'Why am I still alive… why is this taking so long?'

'Maybe my sense of time is messed up. How do I make this go faster?'

The faces of the ones who tortured me and left me for dead were burned into my mind.

My memories were getting blurry; more of my life events slipped out of my head.

Whatever, I was done reminiscing. What would I do about anything that's happened? It's too late.

Maybe I'll meet Alexia in death…

If I had another chance though… I'd do things differently.

No longer living for others, suffering for others who see me as nothing more than a disposable tool.

Oh well. At least I'll have peace in death.

I smiled and closed my eyes again, this time hopefully being the final time.

---