It's been 600 hours and yesterday was nothing but an emotional wreck for both me and my daughter. Now, I'm in the car with my daughter and cold silence surrounds us, I try to break it but all my efforts fail to no avail.
"Hey, it's early... Want to start this day with a smile?" I asked her with a smile as I glance at her through the rear-view mirror.
"Mommy, is this day really going to be a great day?" Tammy asked me.
"Oh, Tammy, I am not sure but I know that we can find a way to make this day the greatest day we have ever had." I smiled through my frustration.
"I know you don't believe that, mommy... I wish daddy were here... I am just frustrated how people tease me for having an absent father. They all know that he's in the military but they refuse to believe me when I tell them that he's alive."
"I'm sorry that you have to endure this type of torment... Do you wish to transfer to another school?" I asked, sincerely.
"No... Yes... But no... My school is daddy's school and I don't want to leave it.
"You know that your daddy wouldn't be happy if he learns that you are being mistreated." I told her, "He'd be happier if you're safe even if it is not in the school where he graduated from."
"Okay... But I really want to stay..." Tammy replied.
She couldn't look at me and her head was low. I am worried about her and I don't know what to do... "Hey, Tammy, I told the post office to give you the letter that your father sends, is that alright with you?"
"Sure... I think I need dad to brighten up my day..." She smiled faintly.
We arrive at her school, finally, and she let out a deep sigh before leaving the car. I watched her go into the school gates and I tell you, I feel bad for her. I followed her into the school after I parked the car. I went to the avr where they held the parent-teacher meeting.
As I listened and took note of everything, I couldn't let the image of my crying daughter slip away my mind. We were already electing officers and I was elected vice president so I stood there on the platform with the president and the secretary.
When the meeting ended, the principal called for me to give a letter, "Mrs. Liwag, my husband's letter came with a letter addressed to you so here you go."
"Oh, thank you, Dr. Claire, I'll read it later." I smiled before leaving the room. As I walked towards the parking lot, I saw girls hurting each other and when I approached them, I saw that Tammy was getting slapped and she refused to retaliate. I stopped the cheering and I broke them off.
"What happened?" I asked both of them. Tammy refused to speak then the bully yelled, "She was going out with a guy that I liked then I told her to stop, she did not want to stop seeing him so she left me with no choice!"
"Okay, both of you, principal's office." I took them both by the hands then walked them to the principal's office. While we walked, Tammy mumbled, "Why are you upset with me? I did nothing wrong... I didn't even retaliate..."
The principal saw me with the children then she talked to them while I paced back and forth, waiting for my daughter. I got tired from pacing so I sat down and opened the letter given to me. In the letter was written:
"Dear Mrs Liwag, I am saddened to inform you that your husband, Colonel Liwag, was killed in the retreat from Nueva Castillo as he fought to save his subordinates. He died an honourable death on Thursday the 11th."
The letter's contents were not processed clearly so I decided to read the short message again, and again, and again... It soon dawned upon me, the reality of my husband's heroism. My eyes start to well up for I still cannot believe that I lost my husband. Everything around me became void and I was alone, I was crying with no shoulder to lean on-- I depended on him too much.
As my mind wandered off into a panic, I felt a tap on my shoulder and I looked up to see a crying little girl-- It was Tammy-- I hugged her as both of us continued crying our hearts out. I need not know the reason for her grief for all I know is that I need to do the smiling for both of us this time.
"Mommy, can we please go home?" She cried in between her words. I had no words to reply to her so I just nodded, I walked with her to the parking lot with one hand holding the enveloped letter and the other held onto Tammy. When we got into the car, Tammy bawled her eyes out so much, making me feel bad to tell her about the news I got from the letter. I might have to tell her sooner or later but I think it would be better if it's not now. "Mommy, can I please not go to school tomorrow?"
"Why not honey?" I asked her with a concerning look. She looked at me through the mirror then she told me, "Mommy is tired, and so am I... I want to be there for mommy when there is no one she could rely on. Her eyes turning red due to all the crying and I want to make her happy."
"Mommy is going to be alright, you don't need to worry. Thank you for looking after me, Tammy." I smiled, "Mommy would appreciate it if Tammy focuses on her studies."
"Okay, then..." She sighed. She laid down on the car seat then after some time, she was asleep. I, on the other hand, cannot cry because I'm driving but I know that as soon as we arrive at home, I'll be falling on my knees, bursting into tears again.
We got home and what I thought would happen, did. Tammy woke up from the noise of my crying then she took the keys from my hand to open the door. She still doesn't know why I am crying but she was having a dilemma of her own. She went to the backyard to see the paintings, she noticed that our painting had some details that weren't there before.
She went back to me to tell me what she saw then I stopped my bawling. I ran towards the painting and I saw that the once simple painting became so intricate and a signature was added at the bottom. I couldn't believe it.
"Who did this?" I asked as I touched the painting. Some of the paint transferred to ky fingertips and in I was desperate to be hopeful.
"Mommy... You have to see this..." Tammy said, obviously shocked.
I incorporated the fact that little Tammy was being bullied because of the absence of her father because I know some people who are getting bullied because one of their parents work abroad and they tease them saying things like, "Your mother/father left you for another family, you just don't want to admit it."
It's an experience I am lucky I didn't go through but I feel bad for those people, especially that most of them cannot stand up for themselves. #SayNoToBullying
I hope you enjoy reading, see you in the next!