Make Up Your Mind, Part 2

"Hino, I… I want your advice or just lend me your ears!" I told him.

He just smiled and said he'll hear me out, and so I told him what bothered me. "…I've been like this since highschool around this person. Even though I dated a few girls, that person is still the one on my mind. So am I like, inlove with that person or something?"

After I told him all that, he began to laugh which made me feel too embarassed. "Tsk! Stop laughing jerk!"

"Hahaha! It's just- hahaha! You were always looked so grumpy and cold to everyone. To think you're inlove with someone seemed impossible! Hahaha!"

"Ugh." It was a mistake! It was a mistake talking to Hino about my problem!

"Though it's completely fine, some people can really like a person for a very long time. And it's gonna be tough moving on from that kind of love."

"Y-Yeah."

"But before you move on, you're going to confess to that girl right? I mean, you might have a chance now that you started working out and looked more manlier than you were before."

I coughed when he mentioned 'girl', I still have doubts telling him that it's a guy. "Uhm, uhh…"

"Hmm? Don't tell me you don't want to be with the girl you like? Or rather, tell her your feelings?"

"No, uhm, actually… we both already confessed to one another already and uhm, we both like each other."

"Oh! That's sweet, then are you guys dating now?"

"N-No!"

"Eh? Why not?"

Should I really tell him? Should I…

"That person is actually uhm… not a girl." I whispered.

He leaned closer, looking like he didn't heard what I just said. "Say that again."

"I said, it's actually a guy." I whispered again.

"Huh, why the hell are you whispering so softly? I can't hear you."

"I said, it's a guy!"

"Oh a guy- YOU MEAN YOU WERE INLOVE WITH A DU-" I covered his mouth to keep him from making an embarassing scene.

"S-Shut up! And yeah, I think I am inlove with a guy." He looked really surprised as he stares at me.

"So you're gay?"

"N-No!! It's just that one guy!"

"Ah, bisexual?"

"We're not here to talk about sexual orientation okay?! Just like what I told you, I like this one guy!" Geez, I feel like I'm gathering a lot of attention in this park by talking so loudly with this idiot.

"O-Okay. I didn't see that one coming. I was sure you were talking about a girl since you're straight-erm, used to be, straight."

"Ugh let's just get out of here and talk somewhere more private." I told him and dragged him to a place where there's very few people.

Once we got out of the crowded place, it became awkward for both of us to resume the conversation and it pissed me off. "Well? Aren't you gonna say something? Give me an advice or tell something!?"

"Uhh, I don't really know what I should say in this matter Yuji."

"Argh, should've just kept this to myself." I really regret telling him all that now.

"But… are you talking about your bestfriend? You're inlove with Hiroyuki Tomakawa, right?"

"W-Wha…" why did he have to mention that whole name just now?! And how the hell-"How did you know it was Toma!?" I asked.

He chuckled nervously. "Erm, it's kind of obvious to be honest. He's the only guy you've kept around by your side for a very long time. And most people actually assume you guys are actually a couple for being together all the time, though people don't really mind at all if you guys are dating or not."

"Ahh, that does it." So it wouldn't be so different if I just accepted him? But, there's still my dad, and Toma's mom… I feel so bad for the things I've said to Toma last night.

"Hmm? What do you mean?"

"Hino… if I… if I started to date Toma, it wouldn't be weird at all?"

"Y-Yeah. Dude, we're in the modern world after all. Well, there's still a few discrimination against same sex couples but you know, what really matters is what makes you happy." He said with a pat on my back. With his words, I kinda cheered up. "And I kind of assumed that you guys were secretly dating as well either. Buuuut, things will still end up like what I just thought so it's no problem hehe." He added.

"Right."

Maybe it's time I embrace what makes me happy… to be with Toma. Things might be risky for us if we end up together, but if we did end up together, I won't have any regrets because I'm going to spend the rest of my life with the person I really want to be with.

And maybe, just maybe… we might get through all the problems in our way by facing it together.

I wished that I should've accepted him last night. I looked at my watch to know the time, then Hino gave me a little push. "Hey, maybe it's not too late yet. You should just be happy with the person you like and live your life the way you want."

I gave a smile, knowing that someone is already supporting me. "Thanks."

"Goodluck with Toma!"

"I hope you find happiness too!" After that, I ran back to the dorm waiting for Toma to return.