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Rick And Morty: I Hate Life

In a twist of cosmic fate, an incredibly unlucky individual meets an untimely demise at the hands of a mysterious and powerful ROB. However, instead of finding peace in the afterlife, he is inexplicably reborn into the crazy and unpredictable universe of "Rick and Morty." Now, this unfortunate soul finds himself as the older brother of Morty Smith, living under the same roof as his eccentric grandfather, Rick Sanchez, and dealing with the daily chaos that comes with it. Hoping for a peaceful and uneventful life, he quickly realizes that's an impossible dream in a world filled with interdimensional adventures, alien encounters, and madcap inventions. Our protagonist must navigate the hilarious yet perilous misadventures of his toxic family and his batshit crazy grandfather, all while trying to carve out a slice of normalcy in a reality that defies all logic. Will he be able to find his place in this bizarre multiverse, or will his bad luck continue to haunt him, even in this new life? "Rick and Morty: I Hate Life" is a rollercoaster of humor, chaos, and existential exploration as our protagonist attempts to survive the cosmic carnival that is the Smith-Sanchez household while discovering the true meaning of family, purpose, and the nature of existence itself. =============== English is not my main language. I dont own anything other than my OC if you want to support me you can become my P A T R E O N link below: p a t r e o n . c o m / TheDarkWriter688

DarkWriter18 · TV
Zu wenig Bewertungen
10 Chs

Mega SEEDS (part-3-5)

Yo guys what's up, sorry for the delay, I got a flue shot yesterday and the dumb nurse administered the shot in my right arm although I told her I'm right handed, also a quick note the extra 3 chapters I was supposed to post, this is it I just combined them all into one.

As fontain said, Would you kindly leave a review and give me power stones.

Ps: thank you for your support we hit 500+ power stones, I appreciate it.

Pss; I'm going to change the posting schedule, to two chapter or one chapter a week, but the chapters are going to have a word count of more than 6k.

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Last time one Dragon ba- *cough* I mean, Rick and morty: I hate life.

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"What do you mean what god/entity I'm talking about? I, I'm talking about the God with capital g, so I'll ask again what do you mean "what God/entity"?"

'Oh shit,'

"Um, uh, I, what I mean is what about the other gods?" I say improvising as I go.

"Other gods?" Rick says as he raises an eye brow.

"Yeah, like, what about Zeus, Odin, Shiva? Are they fake or dead, or are they alive? What's your opinion on that?" I say, sweating bullets inside.

"Oooh, yeah, those are *burp* fake." Rick said as he started eating again, and Jerry went back to glaring at Rick.

"Okay, with all due respect, Rick— what am I talking about? What respect is due? How is my son supposed to pass his classes if you keep dragging him off for high-concept Sci-Fi rigamarole?" Jerry said as he kept glaring at Rick.

"Listen, Jerry. I-I-I don't want to overstep my bounds or anything. It's your house. It's your world. You're a real Julius Caesar, but I'll tell you something—tell you how I feel about school, Jerry. It's a waste of time." Jerry deadpans at Rick as he continues."Buncha people running around, bumping into each other. G-guy up front says, "Two plus two." The people in the back say, "four." Then the—then the bell rings, and they give you a carton of milk and a piece of paper that says you can go take a dump or something. I mean, it's not a place for smart people, Jerry. And I know that's not a popular opinion, but it's my two cents on the issue." Rick says as he stands up and wipes his mouth and gets up, stopping behind Beth and putting a hand on her shoulder and says, "This was a good breakfast, Beth. You really made the crap out of those eggs. I wish your mother was here to eat them." After saying this, he gives Beth a kiss and walks away.

Beth tears up in happiness and says, "Oh, dad…" after which Jerry says, "What? For real?"

"Better get used to it," I say as I get up from the table and walk towards the kitchen, hearing a loud thud from behind myself.

*Time skip, location: school*

*pov: narrator*

Mr. Goldenfold: Alright, now, everybody gets settled. Get away from the windows!

All the students get away from the windows and sit straight.

Mr. Goldenfold: Now, look, we're gonna be dealing with some real serious stuff today. You might have heard of it. Is it called math? And without it, none of us would even exist, so let's jump right in. Two plus two.

All classmates except Morty and Rylan: Four. 

While morty is sitting in the back row, staring at Jessica, who sits in the front row. He answered 

Morty: Jessica

Rylan: *snores* *mimimimimi*

Mr. Goldenfold: Five plus five.

All classmates except Morty and Rylan: Ten.

Morty: Jessica. 

Rylan: *snores* *mimimimimi*

This time, Jessica hears Morty and looks back, confused. I'm not sure who's saying her name.

Mr. Goldenfold: Okay, good. It's time for the quiz.

Class: Awwwwww.

Mr. Goldenfold: Yeah, you know what?! Aw, too bad! Tough! First row, take one. Pass it back for me. The stakes are high in this room.

Mr. Goldenfold starts handing out the test papers.

Student C: yo, dude, wake up, we're having a quiz.

Student C starts shaking Rylan until he wakes up.

Rylan: hnm, thanks, dude.

Rylan says as he stretches his body.

Student C: *stares at Rylan* my money?

Rylan: Oh yeah

Rylan starts to go through his lab coat and gives the student 15 bucks.

Rylan: Here you go, my guy.

Student C: Thanks

After giving the student his money, Rylan goes through the quiz in 10 seconds, writes his name at the top, gets up, walks towards Mr.goldenfold, and turns his paper in.

Then he goes out of the class and heads toward the men's toilet.

*35 minutes later*

(AN: If you reed the 35 minutes later while imagining tom Kenny's voice (the guy that said 24 hours later in SpongeBob), you, my dear friend, are a legend)

After the bell rings, Rylan comes out of the bathroom with red eyes.

And heads towards his locker.

*pov: Rylan*

After coming out of the bathroom, I head toward my locker.

Arriving, I see the usual scene you see every God damn day in this school.

Someone bullying morty.

If you're wandering why I'm not doing shit about it it's because, A, I'm not a boy scout, and B, I tried like, really, really hard to make morty become tougher so he can stop the bullying, but I failed.

I failed really hard. That was the first time I failed in this life, I don't know how or why, but I cried really hard that day.

That day was my Vietnam.

So, in the calendar of my phone, that day is named the punchies day.

(If you got the punchies reference, you are again a legend)

I just start punching morty when he least expects it.

One time, I punched him I the bathroom.

Although I may have gone too far, as it was explained to me by mom.

Good thing he was already in the bathroom, cuase sheesh.

Also, I found out the reason why Morty's self-esteem is so low.

Hint, it's because he is compensating for something he has no control over.

Although I can make pills, I would rather not.

Anyway, back to the situation at hand, I look at Frank and say, "hello, frank, watcha doing with ma little bro" as I give him by best psychotic smile, which is really creepy by the way, I made a serum that lets me stretch my smile really long.

[Pic]

"Rylan, I was just asking what he meant when he said "morning", what is that supposed to mean? Are you making fun of me? Are you trying to say my family's poor?" Frank said to me while taking his pocket knife out and putting it near Morty's neck.

"Calm the fuck down Frank, we don't want another chocolate incident here do we now?" I said as I reminded him of the "chocolate" incident.

Frank got startled by my sentence. He started to bring his knife down, but he was hesitant. He brought the knife down and was about to say sorry to morty and go, but before he could, Rick Portales here and froze him with his ice gun.

The student body saw Frank being frozen and thought there was going to be a chocolate incident again, but with ice cream this time.

So, like any self-respecting chocolate incident survivor, they freaked out and started running around trying to escape.

I immediately grabbed Rick's and Morty's hand and Portaled out of there while yelling, "This has nothing to do with me guys, I swear,"

*Dimension 35-C*

"Okay, we're cool now." I said as I sighed.

"Oh, man, Rick. What is this place?" Morty asked Rick.

"Before I answer your question morty, *burp* Why the fuck did everybody freaked out like it was the *burp* end if times?" Ricked asked raising his eye brow and looking at me.

"I guess they thought "it" is happening again." Morty answered for me.

"It? Wha *burp*, what is, what is "it"?, what are you talking about?" Rick asked, looking at morty.

"The chocolate incident," morty said, giving me the looks.

"What the fuck is a *burp* chocolate incident? Di, did someone *burp* shit his pants or what?"

"Oh come on, let it go, aren't you here to take us on an adventure or something, Rick?" I say, asking Rick while changing the topic.

"Oh yeah..., so listen to me, guys. I got an errand to run in a whole different dimension. I need an extra pair of hands." Rick says, seemingly forgetting about the chocolate incident.

"I don't know, Rick. I can't leave school again." Says morty trying to convince Rick because he ditched school too many times this year.

"Do you have any concept of how much higher the stakes get out there, Morty? What do you think I can just do it all by myself? Come on!" Rick says, trying to convince morty that adventures are more important than school.

(AN: I am legally bound to tell you that it is not. *whisper*but really, adventures are more important than school, especially if your adventures contain online gaming*whisper*)

"Oh geez, rick. Can't you just take Rylan with you?" Morth says as he points at me.

"C'mon morty we both know Rylan is too *burp* free sprited too listen to me, he, *burp* he, he's like a horse, running in a vast plain, but with a joint on his lips" Rick says, clearly complaining that I'm not a pushover unlike morty, he's just sugar coating it.

Also, everything about me smoking pot is slander, SLANDER I SAY.

"Aw, geez. Okay. I guess I can skip history. What about Frank? I mean, shouldn't you unfreeze him?" Morty asks, worried about frank.

"Who gives a shit about Frank morty? Let's go. I wanna chill in my room after this."I say as I start walking in a random direction.

"I'll do it later, Morty. He'll be fine. Let's go." Rick says as he finally starts to look around.

"Um, I just uh, saw where you wanted to portal next?" I say/ask as I look at Rick, sweating inside, I'm getting too slopy. It's. My second slip up since this morning.

"Are you asking or answering?" Rick asks me.

"I'm answering, duh." I play it cool, I wonder how I didn't get an Oscar.

Morty looking nervous, like always asked Rick, "Oh, man, Rick. What is this place?"

"we are in dimension 35-C," I said as I kept walking in a random direction.

"Correct *burp*, we're in Dimension 35-C, and it's got the perfect climate conditions for a special type of tree, Morty *burp*, called a Mega Tree, and there's fruit in those trees, and there's seeds in those fruits. *burp* I'm talking about Mega Seeds. They're they're incredibly powerful, and I need them to help me with my research, Morty." Rick said, rolling his eyes at my answer.

"Oh geez, man, Rick. I'm looking around this place, and I'm starting to work up some anxiety about this whole thing." Morty said, looking around like everything is out to get him.

"All right, all right, calm down. Listen to me, Morty. I know that new situations can be intimidating. You're looking around, and it's all scary and different, but, you know, m-meeting them head on, charging right into them like a bull, that's how we grow as people, look at rylan, his in a scary situation like you right now, but, his keeping his cool, just like me. I'm no stranger to scary situations. I deal with them all the time. Now, if you just stick with me, Morty, we're gonna be—" Rick stopped talking and kept looking at me, confused.

To be honest, you would be confused if I was aiming a gun in your direction, too.

"What are you doing?" Rick said, looking at me while walking back slowly.

"Duck," I said as I shot at them with a gun I pulled out from my lab coat.

Rick ducked, but not before grabbing morty and making him duck too.

After I shot the a *poof* sound is heard and they look behind themselves.

"R-Rick, what is a white rabbit doing here?" Morty asked Rick, breathing nervously.

"*burp* I assume there was a monster or something behind us, and Rylan shot it with that gun that turned the monster into a rabbit," Rick said, nailing it.

"Correct, I shot him with my life hack gun," I said, feeling proud of my invention.

"Can I *burp* see your gun?" Rick asks me while holding his hand in front of me. 

"No." I said to him as I put the gun back in my lab coat.

"What's a life hack gun?" Morty asked, looking confused.

"*sigh* as its name says, you hack life, or in layman's terms hack genetics with it" I say as I start walking again. 

"Breathe that fresh air in, Morty. Y-you *burp* smell that? That's the smell of adventure, Morty. That's that's the smell of-of *burp* of-of a whole different evolutionary timeline." Rick says as he shakes morty while walking behind me.

*15 minutes later*

"All right, Rick, look, how much longer is this gonna be? Shouldn't I be back at school by now?" Morty asks Rick, bored.

"Are you joking me? I mean, look at all the crazy crap surrounding us. Look at that thing right there." Rick says while pointing at a weird looking monster that's seen cooing and rolling around on the ground. "What the hell is that thing? You think you're gonna see that kind of thing at school? Look at it just lumbering around. It defies all logic, that thing."

"Yeah, Rick, I get it. We're surrounded by monsters. That's kind of the reason why I want to leave." Morty says, as we come up to a cliff and I stop Rick and him.

While saying, "we're here"

"Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta. Morty, you see this?" While he points down upon a vast forest of interdimensional trees.

"You see what we just stumbled upon, Morty? Any idea what *burp* those are down there?" Rick asks morty.

"The mega trees?""The mega trees," me and morty said at the same time.

"That's right, Guys, the mega trees with the mega fruit on them, *burp* and that's what I'm talking about, Morty. That's where my seeds are. If we had done what you wanted, I would have never found them because you're so in love with school." said Rick as he rolled his eyes.

"All right, all right. So, what's so special about these seeds, anyways?" Morty asked, curious what Rick wanted to research about them.

"You ask a lot of questions, Morty. Not very charismatic. It makes you kind of an *burp* under- *burp* underfoot figure." Rick said and started giving morty the shoes that made you walk on any surface.

"He's right you know, don't ask too many questions, it makes you look like you're trying too hard, and as once a great undercover cop said, the people who try too hard are losers" I said backing Rick up.

"Uh oh," Rick said, looking troubled.

"W-what is it, rick?"

"I uh, *burp* forgot to bring another special grappling shoe for Rylan." Rick said, looking at me with concern.

"It's okay, Rick. I got my own special grappling shoes. but im not gonna ise them, because i have these." I said and hovered in the air with the bottom of my shoes turning into a jet.

After showing them, I stopped hovering and stood on the ground again.

"Woah""Co- *burp* -ol" said Rick and morty at the same time.

"Okay, morty, just take these shoes, Morty. They're *burp* special grappling shoes. When you're wearing these things, these babies, you can basically just walk on any surface you want, Morty up, down, below, turn around to the left. These things really bring it all together." Said Rick.

Morty started walking towards the cliff and was about to go down without the shoes turned on.

But before he could take another step, I grabbed the back of his shirt and prevented him from walking any further.

"Morty you fucking idiot, You have to turn them on, Morty! The shoes have to be turned on!" I yelled at morty.

*elsewhere, pov: 3rd person"

Beth: I am not putting my father in a home! He just came back into my life, and you want to grab him and stuff him under a mattress like last month's Victoria's Secret?

Jerry: I told you I was ordering you something for Valentine's Day. More importantly, your father is a horrible influence on our sons.

Davin: Everything cool in here, Beth?

Beth: It's fine, Davin.

Davin: Okay, cool. You know, we did something great today. There's nothing more noble and free than the heart of a horse. 

Jerry closes the door on Davin.

Jerry: Since we're fighting, if you ever have an affair with that guy, I will come to the hotel room and blow my brains out all over your naked bodies.

Beth: Look, I appreciate the stress you're under, but Morty was having trouble in school way before my dad moved in, and the only influence I can see Rick having on our sons is that, for the first time in his life, Morty has a friend, and rylan has someone to relate to. 

the phone starts ringing.

Jerry: *sigh* Well, maybe you're right.

Beth: Uh, yeah, maybe I am. I'm my father's daughter. I'm smart. Why do you think I'm a heart surgeon?

Jerry: *cough* Ahem, Horse heart surgeon. 

Beth answers the phone and gets a call from Morty's principal, Gene Vagina.

Principal Vagina: Hello? Mrs. Smith? This is Principal Vagina, no relation. I wonder if you and Mr. Smith might be able to have a chat with me this afternoon?.