Chapter 128 – Monastery’s Sword

"What a bunch of absolute horseshit"

"Heh, sorry about that Ikarus, looks like we took the wrong turn but we should be good now"

Having just witnessed the Pope's outburst, me and Petra have now left that underground throne room and are still invisibly moving through the halls under the monastery. To think he's had that sort of reaction from finding out his army has failed!? Even if there was any sense of doubt doing this, seeing that old man smashing glasses and still planning to destroy us proves this place needs to burn. That young Inquisitor of his whatever that means doesn't need any sympathy as well.

"Seriously though, how stupid does he think we are? It's obvious if we sued for peace that they'd never let go of that homophobia"

"Heh, arrogance itself is a sin Ikarus. May make a joke but I've seen firsthand what too much confidence can do to a person, myself included"

Ah, right, Petra did say she was extremely arrogant back in her younger days but I always find that extremely hard to imagine. I guess there have been signs like how she completely assumed wrong that the monastery were much weaker than we thought but I'd say that was just misinformation more than anything else.

We're also whispering as quietly as possible, both of us have just crouched past a roaming bunch of paladins in the halls but that seemed to be a rare exception. These halls are pretty empty for the most part.

"So... I'm guessing that rumoured secret weapon they have is Excalibur then? Does it give us the power to rule Britannia or something?"

"Heh, it's strong Ikarus but nothing like that. If memory is working correctly, it shoots of a beam of magic every swing or something like that. It's been a while since I saw it last being used"

Of course, Petra's past has involved encountering the holy sword Excalibur, why am I not surprised? At times, it feels like her story is ending while mine is just getting started. This better not be a bad omen or something...

Even being invisible though, we're able to talk just simple down do these halls underground being mostly empty and unguarded, it's actually a little surprising due to how many soldiers they sent. Frankly, we could probably change up our approach and start attacking everyone in sight but that just seems like an unnecessary risk especially considering these underground halls are like a maze.

I have no idea where we actually are and there has to be more soldiers hidden around here somewhere, they probably have some sort of alarm to warn about intruders as well. That group we hid past only had six or so but that's really all we've come past so there has to be more. Something like the barracks for example would probably be in a lower-class place down here anyways.

Anyways, we continue traversing the endless hallways and eventually make our ways to a much wider one. We've probably been down here for a good hour now; I kinda feel like Petra forgot the route but was just winging it as we went along. That, or these tunnels are too complex even for her.

"That's definitely the vault Ikarus, looks like we've arrived"

"Yeah Petra, but there's a bigger problem. How do we get past them?"

We're obviously whispering even quieter now due to the two guards standing in front of the vault door. By the looks of it, opening it up would be easy just by rotating the metal bank looking lock but there's no chance we can do such a thing with those two standing in the way. They'd definitely hear, see and probably even feel the door hitting their backs.

"I'll handle this Ikarus, stay here just one second"

Doing as she asks, Petra let goes of my invisible hand and walks towards the guards I presume but I obviously can't see her. I'm a little unsure what she's going to do since combat always switches the invisibility off and then activates the cooldown timer but maybe she has a way of getting around it?

Then, without warning, one of the paladins guarding the vault literally loses his head with the other rapidly receiving the same sword stabbing into the side of his neck. Both of them collapse to the ground with a standing visible Petra as the culprit.

"Petra! You understand your invis is gone now, right?"

"There was no other way of doing this Ikarus. Besides, I've scanned one of them so there's still a way. Let's get this door open quickly"

Scanned one of them? Oh, Petra's face changing ability she showed to me way back in the hot springs! I was pretty dumb and naïve about the whole empire back then thinking about it but this could still prove an issue. I'll just trust Petra and see if she knows what she's doing.

"Sure sure, this still seems a little risky but you're the expert"

Both of us, me still invisible start to turn the huge vault lock and once it's unlocked, we slowly pull it open. I kinda feel like we've just broken into a bank or a fort full of gold right now, minus the lockpicking or the insane amount of prep work scoping this place out beforehand.

Inside the room, it actually reminds me of something a bank vault would look like! Metal bars separate certain sections containing chests full of gold, containers filled with jewellery and trinkets, religious artifacts like chalices and diamond adorned crosses...

And slap bang in the centre of the room is a sword stuck into a pedestal. Please don't tell me someone needs to be worthy to pull it out.

"Let's grab anything not tied down Ikarus, then go for the sword"

"Hey, don't need to tell me since I'm an excellent thief I'll have you know... even if I don't actually remember stealing anything in this life"

"Heh"

Before coming out here, I purposely made to empty my inventory just so I'd have enough room but I'm not sure if it'll still be enough! Let's just focus on the relics and other items like that first before we move onto the gold, we have got to try and be quick about this. We may have moved the bodies into the vault but anyone walking to this place seeing it unguarded would obviously be suspicious. 

Both of us start grabbing as much as we can, then placing it onto my ring for it to be put into storage. Obviously, Petra can't see it so I have to take the stuff off her and she can't even see in the first place but you get what I mean.

We keep stuffing stuff in for a while and Aesa's yet to give me a warning about how much we've stolen, it's got to be getting close to full capacity now, right?

'Aesa, how much room left?'

[<Storage capacity is at 32%, -Ikarus's- concern was unneeded>]

Damn, I've never known the exact number but storage has always been in the tonnes so considering the fact we've nearly cleaned this place out already, there might be less than I first thought. It looks a hell of a lot though.

"And... that's the last bit of gold, just need to grab the sword now Petra"

"Already on it Ikarus..."

Petra by the pedestal gives the sword a good tug but nothing seems to happen, she better not be making a joke right now.

"...Huh, it won't budge. Ikarus, you give it a try"

No no no, I know what Petra's doing right now. Don't be thinking I'm worthy of the holy sword or something when I go over there and inevitably lift the thing easily out without even bothering. This will be her just trying to dish out a compliment, I know her too well.

"This isn't funny Petra, just lift the damn thing up already!"

"Heh, seriously Ikarus, it's stuck. You have a try and you'll believe me"

Doing as she says with an invisible look of grumpiness on my face, I go over to the sword and try to lift it up...

"There yo-... you're actually right, this stupid thing is stuck! What a complete waste of time this is if that worthy cliché stopes us from stealing this weapon"

Seriously though, this stupid sword almost feels like it's wielding into the pedestal. I'm not leaving without this sword and I'd rather destroy the damn thing than leave it here.

"Heh, we can't stay here too much longer Ikarus"

By now, I'm actually standing on the pedestal trying to use my full strength to lift the damn thing up but it's really not having it. Who cares if we're not worthy or not, no one will ever use this sword again if it's turned into a crater so just let me have it already!

"I can feel it moving slightly though Petra, give me a hand... come on you stupid piece of metal!"

Petra sensing my irritation at this thing starts to give a hand lifting the blade from the bottom and accidently touches my hand in the process. Normally, that would be intentional but I'm invisible and-, damn it Ikarus! Focus on getting this fucking sword!

Finally about to give up and preparing for one last pull, I'm going to put absolutely every last bit of strength into this and if my shoulders pop out from pulling too hard, then so be it.

"On three! One... two... three!"

And like a knife through butter, the stupid thing slides out with no problem! Fuck's sake, it doesn't help I've fallen back still holding the sword hitting my head on the wall. The stupid piece of shit that I'm probably never going to use must've rusted and stuck to it or something, I guess I could use my vampiric blade as last resort but kinda gotten used to using a short blade at this point.

As for the sword itself, it's a surprisingly basic looking broadsword that's extremely light and easy to use. Obviously, I'm not going to start swinging it around here but it seems alright, I guess. I do have the option of dual wielding but then I lose my magic ability. Wait, would I? Couldn't I just use it from my mouth in human form like how I do it from my beak in bird? I'll have to think about this another time.

"Let's make our move then Petra"

"Sure, one second Ikarus, need to switch clothing and body real quick"

"Okay dokey"

'Now, the real question is, should I watch Petra getting undressed? Why is this even a question? Of course I do...'

Anyways... Petra undresses herself, takes the clothes and armour off one of the dead paladins and then activates her ability putting the new outfit on. Watching that however was something I need to purge from my memory. Turns out trying to perve over your girlfriend while changing sucks if they grow a third leg and turn male throughout it, I don't even care if I'm being crude. That is something you really don't want to see!

"My eyes are permanently scarred from seeing that... damn that horrid face changing ability of yours"

"Heh... should probably keep it quiet from now on Ikarus"

Petra now looking and speaking like that guy she just killed talks to me leading us out while I'm still disgusted from what I just witnessed. Most of the time, you'd expect some sort of effect to block the changing process but actually witnessing her body change female to male like that really isn't something I want to watch again.

Anyways, the way out seems to be even more empty than usual, we don't pass into paladins this time around and once back to the entrance to the underground bit, we get stopped at the top of the stairs to the monastery.

"Brother Kadlek, I thought you were on vault duty?"

'Ah crap, one of the guards in particular knows whose face Petra has on...'

"Apologies brother but his holiness sent me out to do some errands so someone else had to take my shift"

"Ah, did he send you to clean out the latrines as punishment again? We've all been there brother, wish you luck. Oh, make sure you clean your fingernails after as well"

Petra receives a reassuring pat on the back from the guard at the top of the stairs and then we both make our way outside. Exciting outside and seeing no approaching army or enemies in sight, it appears that our heist has gone off without a hitch... I'm actually shocked it has gone this well. Where's the ambush and epic fight scene where we nearly get overrun? Stealth missions always seem to fail right at the end so getting out this easily really is shocking.

Anyways... now that the first part of our plan has gone perfectly, it's time to move onto the second. This bit should be a tad quicker and explosive though...

'It's time for this place to be buried...'

__________

"Listen Petra... this really is a little danger close. Don't get me wrong, it looks cool and all but something like this could easily kill you and isn't all that worth the risk. I'd rather not have to waste a revive on you if things go badly too"

"Heh, just make sure you throw it far enough then Ikarus. We can always use the smaller one if you're that worried"

"No no, it's got to be supernova since that leaves more of a statement. Just make sure you activate anything health related like a buff beforehand just to be safe"

"Heh, it'll be fine Ikarus"

Far away and high above the monastery, me and Petra fly separately with me in hybrid and her in phoenix form. You see, Petra for some reason really wanted to witness this attack go down, unfortunately my preference is to leave a crater visible from space so this plan screams all sorts of danger. I'm thinking we're far enough away; I can barely see the monastery from this point and the clouds don't exactly help but height should lower the risk... I think?

Regardless, I am justified to be worried and I'm not the only one.

[<Can -Ikarus- inform target -Petra- that she shouldn't be here once again?>]

"Aesa's still moaning at you Petra... she has got a point though"

"Heh, looks like we now share your robotic wife Ikarus. It's fine Aesa, the risk is on my shoulders alone"

The more I think about it, I wonder if Aesa has a slight crush on Petra-... don't start moaning at me Aesa, it's a joke!

"Ah fuck it... I'm throwing it then. Just try to close your eyes or something... as if that's going to help but make sure to cover your ears though"

"Heh, stop worrying my adorable lovebird"

...

'Sighhh... Aesa, one percent supernova please'

[<*Sigh*... confirmed, -Ikarus- better throw this far enough away otherwise Aesa will make -user- really regret it. has more control than seems to realize>]

'Damn, you really can be scary. No need for threats though Aesa, it should be alright... hopefully'

Getting myself ready for the longest possible throw I can make, I fly a good distance away from Petra getting to the perfect speed... then hurl the orb out of sight toward the general location of the religious institution.

...

'The wait before impact is really making me tense up'

If I weren't so worried about Petra, I'd probably make some dumb comment about destruction or say something really cringey but for now, I'm just focused on reviving her if that wasn't far enough away.

And then... just as the clouds leave our point of view, the orb makes contact far away in the distance and the same routine applies. The blinding light, the ear ringing explosion... then that all leads onto the absolute stunning colourful aurora looking thing down below coating the surface. Blue, orange, purple and red all corrupt beneath us but I've seen this all before... it is truly beautiful but nerves negate all that.

It really says a lot that we can destroy an entire faction just by the throwing of a single orb, I can really only focus on Petra right now though.

"That's truly stunning Ikarus... heh, and the explosion is pretty nice too"

Thankfully even in the worried state I'm in, she can still make a joke disguised as a compliment. At least she's unharmed but with her scarred bird version, I can't really tell if they're new or old injuries.

From this distance alone, you can already see the impact crater has decimated the monastery so it looks like this war is now over... is there really any point in searching through the rubble? It wouldn't surprise me in some places if that hole goes half a mile deep so there's really no hope for anyone who was left inside...

"Shall we head home then? No point sticking around seeing that the lightshow is now over"

'I've really got to stop nuking people, this could get me in some real trouble someday...'

"Heh, of course Ikarus, lead the way"

"Great, allow me to switch form quickly so you can ride me back... don't smile at that again! The joke is getting boring now but it works perfectly well both ways if you catch my meaning..."