Many Questions

Finn barely contained her emotions through the rest of dinner. Caspian hadn't had a proper answer to her question.

Her feelings had all been heightened by pregnancy, and remained more intense than she remembered. The whirling chaos of excitement, irritation, and restlessness Caspian's tale had stirred in her was frustrating in the extreme. 

She wanted to shout for joy that at last, she had another clue about the Sorcerer! 

She wanted to run and find someone to tell about her discovery who would appreciate the significance as much as she did! 

She wanted to cry that the people who would understand it most were far away, and she missed them terribly. 

She wanted to grab Caspian by the collar and interrogate him until he remembered more. 

That last urge was probably the least rational of the feelings she was containing, and she took a deep breath to push it away. 

The girls finished eating and excused themselves to go play with the babies. Jacqueline volunteered to supervise them, for the sake of making sure the girls didn't get too enthusiastic in their games. 

Finn tried to find questions that would get her less excited, and Caspian obligingly gave her an overview of the worlds the Cetoans visited, as well as some of the details about the travel. He seemed unsure at first about whether he should be sharing all of this with Finn. 

In the end, mentioning Roland's letters was likely what won him over. She was going to learn everything from her husband anyway, so Caspian might as well not bother to hide anything from her that Roland was going to learn anyway. 

If he survived. 

The intrusive thought was an upsetting one, and she inhaled slowly to avoid a strong reaction to it. Roland would be fine. He was strong, capable, clever, handsome… well, that last thing probably wouldn't have much impact one way or the other on his survival, but she mentally listed it anyway. 

A soft grin found its way to her lips as she pictured his face, and then she remembered to concentrate on what Caspian was saying. 

"So, although I have only been to three worlds, and the Pink Sky most often amongst those, there are tales of further ones. No land in any of them, however." He shrugged, "Until now." 

"That's fascinating," Finn squinted. "Do they have anything in common that you can think of?" 

"Only that the Leviathan visit each of them." Caspian shrugged, "and that they all have seas." 

"It makes sense that the Leviathan would only visit seas… and interesting that there are no tales of going to a world of total darkness and silence." The hostess contemplated that for a few moments. 

"There are many ships that have left and never returned over the years," Caspian added. "Some can be attributed to hurricanes or shipwrecks, but it's thought that some have gone to other worlds and perished there." 

"I wonder." Finn tapped her chin. "I suppose if you're traveling via Leviathan, it would be almost impossible to find and rope one in the Darkness. With no light or sound to use to aim the rope, being lost at sea there would be inevitable." 

She shuddered, thinking about how terrible it was even with a guide, and some light, and ground under her feet. A vast, endless, dark sea would be unspeakably terrifying. 

Finn heard a hungry infant's cry, and excused herself to go feed the babies. The haunting image stayed with her, and though she tried her best to rally while she nursed, involuntary tears found their way to her eyes. 

Lily reached up a chubby hand to touch Finn's face, and the young mother obligingly lowered her chin. The baby's hand was surprisingly gentle as it caressed her chin, and she smiled, her tears instantly evaporating.

The sensation was a little surprising, but Finn was distracted by Ivan's gurgle as he waited his turn to be fed. 

"I'll be with you in just a moment," She assured him calmly, and he cried out a little in response. Though the day had been cloudy, the sun chose that moment to break free from the shady cover and brighten the room before it set. 

Finn tilted her face towards the sunshine, enjoying the light. Winter was a difficult time, as there were fewer hours in the day to complete everything needed, and long, cold nights. 

With a sigh, she finished the feeding, then changed the babies and readied them for bed. The tasks were getting easier to complete all by herself, despite the overwhelming number of chores that accompanied such a family. 

King Duncan had generously hired a woman to do all the needed laundry. Though his country was poor and the royal coffers not as full as one would hope, he still had plenty to help spoil his daughter-in-law and grandchildren. 

He was a blessing, she thought as she laid the babies in their bassinets with a yawn. Sleep was also a blessing. She should take advantage of the opportunity to get some, herself. 

__________

In a nearby room, Caspian and Naomi were also preparing for bed, having cleared away dinner and cleaned the kitchen with the girls and Jacqueline. 

Quilina's mother was much refreshed after sleeping well, but anxious about what that improvement would mean for her daughter. Would they be confined to Klain forever or risk the return of the Void's torture? 

The fretting woman had sent the girls to bed and retired with a tired sigh and a smile for the couple. 

"I'm sorry about earlier," Caspian said, facing the wall as he changed into bedclothes. Even though the couple was married, in all senses of the word now, Naomi was still incredibly self-conscious about changing in front of him. 

Half out of amusement, he found it easier to turn away and give her a few moments of not being looked at while they readied for sleep. 

"What do you mean?" She asked, climbing into bed. 

"At the library. You wanted to know if I doubted you. I do, but not through any of your own doing. I doubt my own luck at finding such a wife, and doubt that you could be truly happy with me."

The confession was a blow to his pride, but he would rather wound himself than leave her thinking she'd done anything wrong. He climbed into bed next to her, and she didn't wait for the invitation to wriggle her way into his embrace. 

"I am happy. I can't promise I'll always be happy, but I am right now." She said against his chest. 

"I'll do my best not to make you unhappy," He frowned. It would be unreasonable for her to promise that she would always be happy. A person couldn't control such fleeting emotions as that. 

"I imagine I will always be happier with you, than without you," Naomi offered. "Have you met Mayra's mother yet?" 

Caspian blinked at the abrupt change in topic. "I don't believe so. Why do you ask?" 

"Before I left Klain, she laid her hands on my head and blessed me. You reminded me of it just now." Naomi turned her head to better look at her husband, and he loosened his embrace to allow her to. 

"A blessing?" He blinked at her vaguely, not understanding what could have reminded her of such a thing. 

"Yes. She said, 'may your husband's love be as strong as his will', and something about having sufficient laughter and joy to sustain our family through times of sorrow. She seems very wise, and it made me take to heart that bad things will always come. It is more important to be strong enough to weather them than to be wily enough to avoid them." 

Caspian looked at his young wife, marveling at her simple words. She was usually very quiet, especially in the company of others, but when she spoke, it was worth listening to. 

"I am very strong-willed." He said, one corner of his mouth turning up slightly. "Stubborn, even." 

"And is your love as strong?" She asked tentatively. 

"Do you doubt it?" He chuckled. "My feelings for you overcame my stubbornness in a matter of weeks. Less than that, really, only I have a terrible habit of refusing to acknowledge when I'm wrong." 

Naomi smiled at him, but he sensed he had not said quite enough.

"I love you," He whispered, "More than my own life." 

"You've proven that," She said seriously, and he smiled at the truth in her words. His reckless disregard for his own safety predated his knowledge of his own feelings. 

"Still, let's not put that to the test again anytime soon, shall we? I'd like to enjoy many long years with you, and I might not survive another fight with a gargoyle unscathed." He teased. 

"I will not pick any more fights with gargoyles," She tried to suppress a grin, but he saw through the attempt and chuckled. 

"Your sarcasm could still use a little work, but I'm pleased with your progress so far." He complimented. 

"What else are you pleased with?" She tilted her head up to place a gentle kiss on his neck. He caught her jaw with one hand and brought her lips up to his. 

"I believe you already know the answer to that," He whispered softly against them.