day 17

day 17

Friday, 13th January, 2017

London, England, United Kingdom

11:34 pm

He's given up. Luke's lost his desire to fight and I don't know how to give them back.

I wake up being shaken while I listen a male's voice calling my name. I open my eyes very slowly, feeling incredibly sick. Worst headache ever. Gradually my brain starts to remember what happened. Someone had hit me in the head and knocked me unconscious. I look around and see Cole squatting next to me, looking very worried. There's some blood in his hands.

— Malia, thank god, you're awake… – he sighs – How long have you been out? I haven't spoken to you since Wednesday. What happened?

— What? What day is it…? – I mutter, confused.

— Friday. Now answer me. Are you okay? I'm going to call an ambulance. And the police. Who did this to you?

— What time is it? – I ask as I sit up.

— Why did you have to keep working on Luke's case? Everybody has told you to drop it. You're going insane.

— What fucking time is it!? – I yell, moving him aside and looking at the clock on the wall – Fuck! – I get up, still feeling dizzy, and start gathering all the documents I prepared last night – The trial is in 15 minutes, I have to go.

— Are you kidding me? Do you really think I'm going to let you go to the trial after someone attacked you, Malia? – Cole yells, grabbing my wrist so I don't walk out the door.

— Let go of me. Now.

— No.

— Let go of me! – I scream, fighting with him so he lets me go.

— Why do you care about this case so much!? – he exclaims, finally letting go of my wrist – Why do you care so much about Luke…?

— He's innocent. I'm not going to fail him. He's… – I sigh – I'm sorry. I have to go.

I start running downstairs as I look for my phone. I see on the screen thousands of missed calls and messages from Cole. But what I do is look for Captain Perez's number and call him. Thankfully, he answers quickly.

— Captain Perez. How can I help?

— Morning, Captain. It's Malia Hayden.

— Morning, Hayden. Wait… shouldn't you be in the trial?

— Perez… someone attacked me in my office yesterday. I've been unconscious. I need to make it on time. I wanted to ask if you could send a cruiser so I can skip the traffic or I'll never make it.

— Of course, I'll be there in a minute. You are in your office right?

— Yes.

— See you in a minute.

— Thank you!

I hang up as I exit the building. As I'm waiting for the captain I try to organise the documents that I have in my bag. In just a minute I hear a police siren close by. I pray that's Perez. I'm looking at the street when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I jump and scream, scared. But turn around to see Cole.

— Malia, baby… Please, don't do it.

— I have to.

— Do you still love me?

— Captain Perez is here… – I mutter, seeing his car coming down the street.

— Okay… Good luck, Mal – he whispers, rightfully hurt.

I run towards the road and as soon as Perez stops his car I get in. Seconds later we are driving at high speed as cars move in front of us to let us through. I feel my heart racing, my breath uneven, my hands shaking and my eyes tearing up.

— Are you okay? – he asks – What happened? Who attacked you?

— I don't know. Someone hit me in the head. I'm still dizzy but I'm fine.

— You are very brave, Malia.

I don't say anything, but that compliment doesn't go over my head. Because I don't feel brave. I feel scared. I'm terrified. And I keep thinking that Cole is right. I'm not doing this because Luke is innocent, I'm doing this because the innocent person is Luke. So I don't feel brave. I don't feel brave for cheating on my boyfriend, for hiding my true feelings, for being so stupid that I've fallen in love with one of my patients.

The siren isn't helping me. My headache gets worse because of the loud noise. And as we are diving fast, my body is moving with the uneven parts of the road, making things worse. I feel sick. I feel like I'm going to throw up. And that gets worse when I think that I'm seeing Luke after a week. And I don't know how he's going to react.

Perez stops in front of the court building. I take a deep breath trying to put myself together. I don't know if I'm ready to do this. The captain sees my anxiety and places a hand on my shoulder.

— Malia, you are defending a good cause. You are ready for this and for much more. I'm sure you'll convince the jury that Harris is innocent.

— Thank you… – I mutter, I really needed that – Okay, I'm going in.

— Good luck.

He smiles and turns off the siren as I get off the cruiser. I wave him goodbye and see him leave and disappear into the traffic. I look in front of me to the majestic and towering building I'm about to step into. I try to walk towards the stairs that go up to it but I feel sick once again, so I run to a trash can and throw up. After I feel a bit better, I get a water bottle from my bag, rinse my mouth, and try to run as fast as I can up the stairs because the trial is starting any time now.

I see how at the end of the stairs, by the big door, there are a lot of reporters. The news of a suspect being judged for the "New Jack the Ripper crimes" had broken and everybody wanted to know more. When they see me arrive, they ask me if I'm working on that case. I simply look down and walk past them. When I finally enter the building I feel weak in my knees, like I'm about to fall flat on my face. However, I keep walking as straight as I can towards the courtroom where Luke's trial will happen. I'm a couple minutes late, but I hope the judge is benevolent.

I stop in front of the courtroom number 4. I show my credentials to the guard on the door and he opens the door for me. Almost the entire courtroom looks back at me. I walk towards the stand, seeing family of the victims and some reporters seated for the trial. I don't stop walking until I'm by the table where Luke and his lawyer are already seated.

— Good morning. May I ask who are you? – asks the judge, coldly.

— I'm doctor Malia Hayden, your honour – I introduce myself and walk towards the stand where he's sitted –. I'm a psychoanalyst working for the London Police Department. I was hired to assess the accused – I explain, showing him my credentials.

— You are with the defence? – he asks, arching an eyebrow, seeing how I go back to the table with Luke and the lawyer.

— That's right.

— Alright, let's begin.

The judge opens the record with his monotonous voice, reading through it. It explains with detail the crimes for which Luke is accused. I haven't even looked at him. I try to maintain my composure, listening to the old man. But all of the sudden I feel Luke's warm hand on my leg, just above my knee. Then I start to feel my heart beating so rapidly and loudly that I feel like the entire courtroom can listen to it. All my muscles tense, making me feel immobile for a second. My breath also stops, and my brain feels confused. I shouldn't look at him or I will get worse. But I feel his fingers sinking in my shaky legs, so I turn slightly towards him.

— What are you doing here? – he whispers, sounding angry.

— I can get you out of here.

— I told you not to come.

— I don't care. I'm not leaving you alone. I'm with you.

— It's too dangerous.

— I know. But I don't care.

— Why are you doing this? – he asks, frustrated.

— You know why…

— If anything happens to you… I won't forgive you or myself.

Luke's lawyer tells us to shut up, so we must keep quiet. The judge, finally, finishes reading the record. First he calls the defence lawyer. He must state how the accused pleads. The lawyer seated on the other side of Luke stands up, clears his throat and looks at Luke.

— You told him you plead guilty, right? – I ask.

— Yes. It's what's best, Malia – he whispers –. Let him do his job. I can avoid life in prison if I plead guilty and maybe I'll be out in a few years for good conduct.

— No. I'm not going to let you spend another day in jail – I whisper, before I stand up too –. Your honour, the accused pleads innocent.

— Doctor Hayden, the lawyer must speak now. You'll have to wait until it's time for the witnesses.

— Of course, your Honour. I just wanted to make it clear that the accused is innocent – I say, sitting down while looking at Luke's lawyer, letting him know it's time to change strategy.

— Uhm, of course… – he babbles, having to change everything he had prepared in a second – My client is being accused of sixteen murders. However, he hasn't been linked to fifteen of those victims. Why aren't other partners being accused? Mister Harris lost his girlfriend, the love of his life, and his freedom the same night. He is nothing but the seventeen victim of this souless murderer.

My hands started to shake as the lawyer kept talking. I am surprised at how quickly he's been able to change his entire defence and build a case on the spot to defend Luke's innocence. He is building a decent case, proving the only evidence they have against Luke is coincidental. I feel happy about how things are going, but that happiness stops when I take a good look at Luke.

His face looks completely drained. His will to fight is gone.

There's something that has changed. The spark. The spark that had been in his green eyes for the entirety of our sessions had disappeared. Even through the suffering he had, the spark had always been there. And seeing it gone meant he had given up. Without the spark, even I felt powerless. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to help him get his spark back. How to help him fight again. All I want to do is hug him and tell him everything will be alright. But I know that wouldn't be helpful now. That prison had turned the marvellous human that Luke was into a blob. A mass that doesn't feel, doesn't suffer. Some sort of robot. Like the tin man from Wizard of Oz: a man with an empty chest. And I must act like the famous wizard and give him the heart he's desperately missing.

After the accusation reads his statement and presents the "proof" they have against Luke, the judge calls my name. Calling me to the stand. As I stand up I feel my legs failing to respond. My breath gets accelerated due to my nerves. Then I feel Luke's hand on my leg again, and that's all I need. I feel the warmth of his skin. I clear my throat and walk towards the stand, feeling analysed by every person in the courtroom. I hold on tight to all my documents, feeling like they are going to slip through my sweaty hands. When I reach the stand, I must vow to tell the truth. Then I'm allowed to sit down. I crack the bones in my hand and place the documents on the stand.

— Doctor Hayden… we are waiting – insist the judge.

— Yes, apologies… – I mutter – I was contacted by the director of Her Majesty's Prison Wakefield on 1st December. I was asked to analyse Harris. To try to coerce him to confess to the crimes he's being accused of or to find his behaviour that of a guilty person. To make a report about how he's unstable and he needs to be kept away. I was being tricked into thinking he was paranoid and dangerous. Into thinking he would be able to commit such awful crimes. However, the more sessions I had with the suspect, and the more I learned about him and his behaviour, the more convinced I was that he could never be guilty. What I found during our sessions was a man who was madly in love with his partner, who was a good person and never had any problems with the law before being arrested. I present as evidence my own reports from our sessions, as well as reports from his previous psychologist and a graphologist that analysed his handwriting – I explain, passing the documents to the lawyer so he can give them to the judge –. All three reports claim that the accused is not a violent person.

— I see… – mutters the judge, looking through all three documents.

— The workers of the prison have written reports and spoken about his violent behaviour. However, that behaviour during his stay at the prison can be explained easily: Luke Harris has schizophrenia. He was diagnosed as a teenager and given medication. He has regularly taken his medication his whole life, and has never had a psychotic break or a violent episode. But when he entered Her Majesty's Prison Wakefield he was denied access to his medication. Apart from the lack of medication, Harris has been treated like less of a human during his stay in prison. They not only denied him access to his medication, he was also not allowed to have his prescribed glasses. They punished him by taking away his meals, making the suspect go days without eating. He was put in solitary confinement in September. He was denied any type of human contact apart from the sessions he had with me three months later in December. He was also given several beatings, he was injured and bruised.

— I understand… – nods the judge, writing that down, I guess to ask Laude about it.

I can feel Laude's stare on me. He's seated by the accusation's lawyer, listening to every word carefully. I can feel him looking at me. However, I don't feel brave enough to look at him. I know he's dangerous. I know he had something to do, either with the crimes or with pinning it to Luke. But as much as I'm avoiding looking at him, I know he doesn't stop looking at me. Not for a moment.

— Carry on, please – asks the judge, and then I realise I made too long of a pause.

— Yes… – I mutter – As I have explained, the accused has not shown a psychopath profile. And I have also found other evidence that Doctor Harris could not have been the murderer.

— Okay, show us the evidence.

— First of all, some of those murders occured in different parts of England. However, Harris has stayed in London.

— And where's the evidence for that?

— The payments for his house continued during those months.

— That's not enough evidence to prove that the accused wasn't in the cities at the time of the murders. He could have kept his usual residence and travel for the murders.

— Alright… I still have further evidence… – I speak, trying to sound as confident as possible – I have conclusive evidence that the accused was not able to commit the crimes he's being prosecuted for. All sixteen women were raped before being murdered. The coroner concluded it was not because DNA was found in the bodies, but because they found traces of latex in the genitalia of all sixteen bodies. Therefore, it was concluded that the same man that murdered them, first raped them using condoms.

— That's right.

— Well, here I have a medical record about Luke Harris – I say, passing it to Luke's lawyer who then presents it to the jury and lastly the judge –. Clearly listed under allergies is latex. If the accused had used latex condoms would have suffered an awful allergic reaction, needing to rush to a hospital.

— Okay… that does change things – he nods, looking through the document I presented –. Thank you, Doctor Hayden. Anything else to add.

— That's all, your Honour.

— Alright. We'll take a half an hour break to examine the evidence presented by both sides – he explains as I get off the stand and go back to the table with Luke –. We'll let the jury deliberate about Doctor Hayden's statement. After the break, the accused will take the stand and both lawyers will be able to ask relevant questions about the case.

The judge hits the gavel and the people seated around the courtroom stand up and start talking about the case as they leave the room, to have a break or have a coffee in the court's cafeteria. I turn to Luke. When I see him I can't help but smile. His eyes have a small spark again. I can't hold myself back and I throw myself to him, hugging him. He can't hug me back because his hands are cuffed, but he just lets my warmth comfort him.

— How did you get that report? – he asks when I let go.

— Captain Perez has really been helping me investigate. So… when I kinda stole your medical records from your office and discovered your allergy… he didn't ask much. He just created the report so I could present it. He's been letting me go through your apartment and your office several times. I couldn't have made it without him… – I explain, caressing his curly hair.

— You are an angel, Malia. An actual angel from heaven sent to save me. I really thought you wouldn't come.

— Are you crazy? I don't know why you would think that – I hold his hands and place them on his legs, as our fingers intertwine –. I have been spending all of my time on this. I wouldn't abandon you.

— Thank you, Mal – he smiles, getting emotional as his eyes get watery –. Thank you, thank you, thank you a million times.

— You have nothing to thank me for, Luke – I smile –. Do you want anything to eat?

— That'd be great… I'm starving – he accepts.

— I'll go buy something at the cafeteria.

— Okay, I'll wait here – he mutters, showing me his handcuffs.

— Today will be the last time you wear them – I assert, placing my hand on his shoulder –. I promise

Luke smiles at me before I leave the room to go to the cafeteria. There I buy juice and a sandwich. When I come back to the courtroom Luke and his lawyer are talking about what the new strategy is and what Luke should say when he takes the strand. When I pass him the sandwich he starts eating it immediately with difficulty because of the little mobility he has due to the handcuffs.

Slowly, the courtroom starts to fill up again. People come in and take their seats again. I look at the door, waiting for the judge to come in, when I see Laude. His eyes and mine meet for the first time today, and my heart stops. My heart actually stops beating for a second. His gaze is enraged. He looks like he would be killing me right now if we were elsewhere. He was walking up the corridor with long strides as if he's running towards me to kill me. To sink his fingers in my neck until I stop breathing and my body falls inert on the shiny floor.

— Mal… – I hear Luke whispering, waking me up from my nightmare.

— Yes? – I mutter, turning to him, seeing his worried face – Is everything okay?

— What happened to you?

— What do you mean?

— You have blood on your head… – he says in a serious tone. I pass my hand through the back of my head, where I was hit, and I can feel my hair all compact due to the blood that had come out of the wound – What the hell happened, Malia? Someone attacked you? I told you this was fucking dangerous. You need to leave and go somewhere safe, now.

— Luke, don't worry. I fell in the shower this morning because I woke up late and was rushing. Nobody hurt me – I explain as I put my hair in a ponytail to hide the mess.

— You are lying to me, Malia… – he mutters, angrily.

— I'm not lying – I interrupt him –. I'm fine and you don't have to worry about me, okay?

— Okay… – he accepts with a sigh.

I smile at him to calm him down as the judge takes his place and asks for silence and order. The voices turn to whispers and end in an awkward hollow silence. Then, the judge calls Luke into the stand and asks the attorney for the prosecution to stand up and ask the questions he has ready for Luke. He starts by asking Luke some stupid questions about Kelsey, his old relationship and the moment he found out she was a prostitute. They want to focus on him being angry about Kelsey's profession, but that could only pin him for one of the crimes, not the other fifteen. I'm listening while nodding my head when I hear a question that paralyses me.

— What's your relationship status with Doctor Hayden? – asks the attorney with a malicious smile.

— I protest! – I exclaim, standing up and looking at the judge – That question is not relevant.

— Denied – claims the judge –. Please, proceed.

— Uhm… – Luke mumbles – Doctor Hayden has been my psychoanalyst while I've been in prison. She has been a wonderful help since she's been the only person I've been allowed to talk to since I was in the solitary confinement unit unfairly.

— So I suppose you have great esteem for Doctor Hayden, right?

— I think appreciation is a better word for it – affirms Luke.

— According to the prison's CCTV… the word is esteem – he assures, getting a remote from his suit jacket and pointing it to a big screen next to where Laude is seated.

The screen takes just a few seconds to turn up and shop a good quality b&w video, with no sound, of Luke and me. I'm taking off his handcuffs. I know what comes next. Luke, when he's off his cuffs, carries me in his arms and starts kissing me. And I kiss him back. My breath breaks as I see everybody bearing witness of that passionate kiss between Luke and I.

— The only "conclusive" evidence Miss Hayden has presented to clear the accused from his crimes is a medical report. Shall I remind everybody that Harris is a doctor? He could have faked the report before he was caught, or even she could have forged it in one of the several visits she did to his office. Her only intention is to get her lover out of prison. She's blinded and can't see how dangerous Harris is. He's attacked her several times – the image of our kiss changes to different videos of Luke pushing me or attacking me –. She is blinded by love. We've all been there before. But we cannot let the love of this woman towards Harris blind us from the truth: Luke Harris is a cold blooded killer who's out for blood. He's cold and calculating. And doubt not: he will continue to kill if he's released. And probably the first person he kills will be this poor infatuated woman.

And the jury agrees. They agree I forged the medical report. They agree I'm simply blinded by love. And they agree Luke is the killer. So he's found guilty of all charges.