Farewell and New Destiny

Caption (to assist readers):

- Everything is good. - = speech of the character

"All good." = character thoughts (during certain scenes)

*boom* = ambient or scenery sounds (similar to using other types of comic fonts)

This chapter is told from James Heller's point of view.

Dana and I spent most of the night planning our next steps, we decided to continue the conversation inside her apartment so that Dana would have access to her map and facilitate our planning. The combination of a superhuman mind and a woman with the nickname Athena worked well enough for Dana to be entitled to a 2-hour nap on the couch until the agreed time for us to leave.

It's a strange feeling not to feel tired or sleepy, especially in the presence of two other people sleeping under the same roof as yourself.

In the first few minutes I considered that I could stay awake the rest of the time and remain on guard, but I soon realized that there was no logical need for such an action, there was no longer any threat close to our location. Even using all of my heightened senses, thermal and viral vision, not a single threat within a 1000 meter radius.

"Why don't I try to sleep?"

Says the inner voice in my head, I need to agree with it this time, because I really haven't tried once for the simple feeling of not needing.

I had not a natural biological clock to sleep for years, my life as a sergeant did not allow me long periods of sleep, in hostile territory our form of rest was during surveillance shifts in the form of timed naps, my command position increased my tension making I develop difficulty falling asleep and not being able to sleep for periods longer than 4 hours.

I don't have to wait to feel sleepy or tired, I now have a body that works differently than a normal human, a body that works differently, but is adaptable and constantly evolving. In the same way that I learned that I can eat again, I can find out if I can still sleep, even if it's different than before.

I choose one of the corners of this room from the two available, I decide to choose the one next to the entrance door. I sit on the floor with my back against the wall and stretch my legs, as soon as I finish getting ready, I lean my head until I touch the wall next to me, it doesn't seem very comfortable for a normal human, maybe because I had slept in many previously uncomfortable positions this was not a problem for me.

I close my eyes and relax, I shouldn't think or process about all the information I have access to, just focus on finding a new way to rest and replenish my energy. I feel my reasoning slow down, I feel like I'm losing control over my body, I feel lighter...

"What if I lose control of my own body?"

That thought makes me open my eyes and cross my arms, which before were relaxed down touching the floor, I feel afraid of myself, afraid of my body without control, the feeling that I can't risk losing control.

A middle ground, without completely abandoning my senses, a light sleep, a balance that doesn't put me at risk, the feeling of needing to rest in a risk area similar to my times abroad, something necessary to improve my performance without jeopardizing the mission. I close my eyes, relax and rearrange my bodily abilities, not like a human, but similar to a machine...

I manage to deactivate myself in parts, leaving only my heightened hearing and touch working together similar to a presence alarm, creating something similar a sonar ability in exchange for deactivating the other main senses, deactivating taste, smell and my sight. I feel my body consuming less energy, I feel my internal organs slowing down one by one, keeping only what I consider necessary.

"Still is not like sleeping."

I agree with the voice inside my head, it's not like sleep, it's just something similar to a light nap, it's a start and that's enough for today.

I pick up my phone and look at the time, believing I know it's over an hour away, when I look at the screen, I see it's 4:33 am.

"Knowing the time without needing a device will be useful."

Yes, it will be useful, it doesn't seem difficult in theory, I can just concentrate that I feel able to synchronize my mind to a specific clock, similar to how I created the virtual map of my mind based on Dana's map and used it later during the flight in a more advanced way. Something simple, useful and that I can mentally recreate to use whenever I want.

I spend the rest of the time mentally recreating variants of my new clock, a clock that I can sync with the map of the entire country by zone, my own virtual mental clock, which will allow me to always know the time and keep me accurate of time at all times.

It's 06:00 it's time to wake up the ladies and follow our next destiny, first I wake up Dana who decides to make some coffee to help her wake up, then I'm going to wake up my daughter, it's been a while since of my last time and knowing that it would take me a while to have this opportunity again it made my heart aches, even though it was a monster's heart now.

Dana and I had coffee with crackers and Maya ate cereal, this wasn't one of her favorites, but she ate enough to not make a difference.

- Where are we going daddy? - Maya asked me, still rubbing her face sleepily after finishing her cereal.

- We are going travel from here to the south of the city, we are going to visit Doctor Ragland, a friend of your dad. - I replied my daughter, while everyone had already finished their meals at the counter.

- I think Maya and I need a bath, it will help wake up, will you come with me Maya? - Dana asks as she looks at me and then at Maya, who seems to be almost asleep again with her head against the kitchen counter.

- Or do you prefer to shower with daddy? - I questioned my daughter when attacking her by surprise with two of the powerful powers of parents against children, reverse psychology with tickling.

*Scream and laugh of a little girl*

- Stop Daddy, you can't! I only took a bath with mom and you're a boy! - Complains my daughter as she jumps off her bench and runs towards Dana, holding her hand in hers.

- I hope you continue like this until your 30 years my daughter. - I answer with a smile and get a slap on the head by Dana, it's bad to feel disadvantaged in numbers, I think age shouldn't matter if in the end you're considered in the wrong side.

- Let's go Maya, let your silly dad take a shower later, did you know that your father didn't take a shower yesterday? - Dana said as she accompanied my daughter to the bathroom and when she was almost closing the door my daughter holds it, turning her head to me and saying:

- Daddy piggy! - She shouted before closing the bathroom door.

It really had been a few days since I had taken a shower, although after being infected, I feel that I even stopped sweating, it didn't seem hygienic, but everything has changed. My clothes were recreated by the viral biomass, they became a part of me, like fur, feathers or scales, it was no longer normal clothes.

"Try to change."

I can really change, logic is simple and everything can be manipulated by biomass, change the color of my current clothes, remove my shoes, remove my jacket, I believe I can even be naked, but the living room of the apartment didn't seem like a good place for that attempt. Maybe another time and place I train this more.

- Your turn James. - Announces Dana as she comes out of the shower with my daughter, both wrapped in two towels each, one wrapped around their body and the other around their head. They both head towards the bedroom and closes the door.

It's the first time I've entered a bathroom after being infected, it's a strange feeling not feeling the need to use or need one. I decide to take advantage of the opportunity to have a mirror above the sink in the wall to see my reflection.

It looks like nothing has changed externally, including naked, it must be something common among men, always checking if you still have your Thing while naked, something that maybe looked less stupid before turning into a monster.

I no longer feel the physiological needs to urinate and defecate, it's as if my new body no longer needs to despise any substance, absorbing and converting everything into more biomass or energy.

I decide to wash my hands before trying to take a shower, I feel a strange sensation, I believe it's the soap or my skin trying to absorb this new substance.

"It bothers and is unnecessary."

Yes, viruses and soap do not seem compatible, it does not seem like something causing damage to my body, it is just an unpleasant sensation. If the voice said it's unnecessary, it means I can keep myself clean by using the biomass itself to absorb or repel any waste or dirt in my body.

Fuck it, I'm going to take shower to at least try to reproduce a nicer smell after a while, feeling like I don't need a shower isn't the same thing as feeling like I don't need one. Even objects need cleaning and this body must get used to acting like a human again.

"Water is bad."

I think I understand my body's reaction, a body composed of a viral mass in contact with soap and water treated with chlorine do not seem to be compatible, in my mind it was possible to solve this issue in two ways:

I can isolate my skin from absorbing this water or acquire skills from aquatic beings to increase my resistance against it.

I use the armor skill on a reduced scale, only changing my skin color and my resistance, without further modifying physical aspects or increasing my weight. It seems like a good middle ground for bathing and situations where I might need to come into contact with water.

- Of all the things Mercer wanted to do by trying to be a human being, he wanted to ignore humans' relationship with water. - I muttered to myself, Mercer didn't like water and didn't even try to improve his relationship with it, another clear proof that he really was never human.

I managed to do all my experiments alone in the bathroom in 7 minutes, having a mental clock really helped me organize my time better.

We were ready to go, Dana locked both doors and decided to take one backpack, while Maya decided to stay on my lap, commenting how we used the same soap and that I smelled better now. A good smell must be one of the compliments I'm sure I haven't received since traveling abroad, I don't even need to try to remember.

- Can we go James? - Dana asked as we finally left the building and returned to the streets.

- Sure, Dana where did you keep your car? - I tried a joke, but got a slap on the shoulder and being called an idiot by Dana.

I'm the ride and I already knew it, try borrowing a Blackwatch armored car might sound a lot more offensive than the helicopter. I crouched down, while waiting for Dana to hold me again from the back while I arranged my daughter in the most comfortable way possible in my arms, I'm almost naming this form as the ally transport skill, but I feel that in addition of being a terrible possible name, I would feel less human when I compare myself to a car literally.

- Ready? The journey will be longer this time. - I asked as soon as I got up, before starting my run or our run.

- Yes! - The two replied together, the only difference was that Maya was the only one who reacted anxiously and smiling to the trip, it must have been really fun last time.

It's not a long journey, it's only about twice as long compared to the last time I carried both, I could cut across buildings, but I decided to just run along the asphalt for greater comfort and safety for everyone, as it was only a two-minute run.

Unfortunately, we were not welcomed upon arriving at the base, I could still feel fear and hostility from the Blackwatch guards even with our current cooperation, I let Dana get off my backs, but decided to keep Maya in my lap. My daughter could also feel this bad atmosphere, her facial expression expressed fear as her small hands gripped the sleeve of my jacket.

- James... - I could hear Dana saying my name in a low tone while standing at my right side.

- It's okay, just wait for Rooks to arrive and we'll take the helicopter. - I replied calmly, I could feel all that external pressure and feelings of fear from both of them, nothing would help by worrying them more.

Rooks finally appears, greets us coldly and asks us to accompany him to the base's terrace, where the helicopter was located, he informs us that he will accompany us as an escort during the journey, something that I already suspected would be necessary.

It was a tense and silent trip, there was no atmosphere for any conversation, nor was the view of the city pleasant, what mattered was just transport and getting them to the Yellow Zone safely.

After landing, Rooks accompanied us to the exit of the base and gave us the use of one of his armored vehicles, I decided to accept the ride, the use of my skills in public would not favor me, besides that through the tracker they would discover our destination anyway. The whole trip took about 46 minutes, it seemed much longer due to the hostile and heavy atmosphere.

We were greeted upon arrival at the shelter by Ragland, he must have been warned by Dana through a message on his cell phone, we went straight to the laboratory to resolve my daughter's situation.

- Daddy, I'm scared. - Said my daughter as she entered the laboratory.

- Doctor Ragland is a friend of your daddy my baby girl, you don't have to be afraid because daddy will stay here with you all the time. - I replied my daughter trying to calm her down, the procedure seemed simple, but due to all her traumatic experience with Blackwatch I could feel her fear.

Ragland took a blood sample from my daughter along with two more blood samples from me and Dana, who decided to help me make my daughter less afraid of the whole procedure. Soon after, Ragland sedated my daughter and asked for our help with the procedure to remove the tracker.

- It's a small tracker, I'll research the model and infrastructure while we're here, it'll be useful to know what we're dealing with and how it can be used to our advantage. - Dana informs us as we finish the surgical procedure together.

- Your daughter will wake up soon, it was a small incision and she has a great chance of completely healing the stitches. You can rest easy James. - Ragland said trying to console me after I remained quiet as I looked at my daughter, face down still on the table sleeping.

As a father I really wanted to destroy Blackwatch completely, regardless of the consequences, it was a strong desire, for all the pain they caused me, my daughter and even the city we dreamed of living together happily. I just don't rip Rooks' head off right now because I need to protect my daughter and my allies, without losing control over my emotions, Dana and I have spent hours planning our next steps, I won't screw this up with anger and hate.

- Thank you, Ragland. - I thanked Ragland, after a few seconds of suppressing my emotions.

I spent the rest of the free time getting to know the building with Dana and my daughter, few members of the Resistance greeted us, I could feel their rejection of me, at least it felt like it was just me and not my daughter. It made me feel more relieved.

Maya will share one of the apartments near the access to the building's terrace, the apartment that the Resistance has given Dana, as their new base of operations. A simple apartment, but better managed, with a kitchen as a separate room, that being the main difference compared to Dana's previous apartment.

We had a second breakfast, I helped Dana with the aerial on the terrace, we cooked our lunch together which this time wasn't pasta again, we had lunch together, we taught Maya how to play cards, the closest family experience I could offer my daughter again before of our inevitable farewell.

- You promised to stay Daddy! - Begged my daughter in tears grabbing my legs, making our farewell even more painful.

- Daddy needs to travel my little girl, Daddy needs to travel one last time. - I replied, while I placed my right hand over her head.

- You promised me and Mom! Don't leave me alone again Daddy! - Insisted my daughter squeezing my legs even more with her little arms, I could feel her despair and fear, the fear of losing her family, the fear of never seeing me again, the fear of being captured again by bad people, an emotionally inexplicable pain, but that I couldn't give in to. I'm only doing this because it's the only hope we still have for us to be able to be a family again safely in the future.

I bent down putting one knee on the floor, wiped my daughter's face with the sleeve of my jacket and hugged her until her crying stopped.

- Pay attention daughter, your father is going to travel to resolve everything that prevents us from living together. No matter how long this takes, I will never leave you alone again, I love you and I will come back one day to live happily together, no matter what it takes, never forget that. - I said to my daughter looking directly into her eyes after breaking our embrace. Wishing she never forgets those words, that one day she can understand my decision without losing hope of being happy again, because I really am willing to face the whole world to protect her.

- I love you too Daddy, come back soon! - Replied my daughter as she hugged me tight again, farewell hugs are painful, even traveling so many times as an ex-marine, this hug is the second most painful in my life, making even me, after having become a monster, cry again.

I remembered her mother and my late wife Colette; I would do anything to have the chance to embrace both of them in my life again. I hope you forgive me dear, because I really have no other choice for protect our daughter.

I don't want to end this hug, I don't want to abandon my daughter, make her deal with all the pain of my absence and her mother's grief alone, I don't want that shit! Fuck!

I release my daughter, give her a kiss on her forehead and stand up, it's time to go.

I notice that Dana has her back to us, I can feel that she was also moved by our farewell, just not wanting to disturb or feel that she could make the situation worse.

- Dana, can you say goodbye to Ragland for me? - I ask Dana before our goodbye.

- Yes... I'll talk to him later... - Dana answers me with her back turned and rubbing her face with the left sleeve of her jacket.

- Let's go to the terrace, daddy have a surprise for you. - I informed my daughter as I hold her left hand with my right hand. - You too Dana, come on. - I invited Dana to come with us.

We followed in silence to the terrace of the shelter, I decided that I should change my way of saying goodbye, even if it could have consequences for me later. What I would do would bring attention to much of the area, but I felt I needed to somehow lessen my daughter's pain from our separation.

- We were lucky, there is no one here. Can you stay close to Dana now my baby girl? - I asked my daughter, after opening the access door to the terrace, she just nodded and approached Dana.

- Now I want you to close your eyes, keep your back to me and face Dana until I say you can look. - I completed.

- James are you really going to do this? - Dana asked me worriedly.

- Dana just make sure Maya won't turn before I say she can, I'm trusting you. Hold her tight because of the wind too. - I replied Dana who showed concern about my daughter's possible reaction.

As soon as my daughter turned around, I ran to the edge of the terrace and jumped, opening and revealing my wings, then I spun around and returned towards the terrace, flying only a meter above the floor with a few meters away from the two, because of the wind current my wings generate.

- You can look now! - I exclaimed my daughter.

Dana helped my daughter to turn around and her reaction was not more fear, but the one I wanted.

- Daddy, you became an angel! - My daughter screamed, her eyes were shining without tears this time.

- Yes, my little girl, and what do angels do? - I asked my daughter, already waiting for the answer.

- Angels protect us from heaven! - Replied my daughter with a smile.

- That's right my daughter, even if your dad is far away, I'll be watching you wherever I am. This is one of the powers of angels. - I lied to my daughter, even knowing that one day she would be disappointed when she discovered the truth. This magical keepsake was the best I could think of to leave as my parting gift, I hope one day she can forgive me.

- God punishes the angels who stay a long time without working away from the heavens Maya, let's say goodbye to her father now before lightning hits his head. - Said Dana, that I felt a mix of feelings between wanting to help me and really wanting lightning to hit me for real.

- Goodbye Daddy! I want one flying ride later! - My daughter said while revealing her new desire and giving a farewell wave with both her arms.

- We'll be fine James, now go soon before instead of lightning, they send a whole storm! - Dana said goodbye with little farewell wave with her left hand, worried about all those who should have already seen my wings too.

- Goodbye my daughter! - I said goodbye flying up to the heavens, accelerating the beat of my wings as I moved farther and farther away from the two, until I finally couldn't see them anymore from so high that I reached the heavens.

I continued for a few more minutes flapping my wings in the sky, alone, in a part of the sky above the clouds, a serene part, as if it really were a reality different from the real one. Enough time to recover emotionally and prepare for my next destination.

It's time to find Rooks and start my new journey.