Pregnant with the devil

My thoughts were interrupted by Vivian's annoying voice singing Oops, I did it again along with Britney Spears. She was applying gloss to the mirror while humming the ringtone of her cell phone.

Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

I think I did it again

I made you believe we're more than just friends

Oh baby

It might seem like a crush

But it doesn't mean that I'm serious

'Cause to lose all my senses

That is just so typically me

Oh baby, baby (...)

- Oh, God! God, please, Vivian. Answer that phone! - Alice snatched the phone from Vivian's hand, unlocked the screen, looked at it for a moment and held it to her ear, following the monologue. - Oh, yes... We're ready... OK... We'll be right there.

- Girls, Mateus is waiting for us downstairs, shall we go?

Mateus was the only man my mother trusted around me. He was a private driver for the security company that Viviam's father owned.

He was a good-looking guy for his age, about forty, and he had also worked for my father before he passed away.

We went downstairs and got into the big black SUV.

The conversation flowed freely, I couldn't remember ever being so excited. It was all new to me, a new opportunity. Finally, school was over and I had two more years to go, but my excellent IQ put me ahead, so that the girls and I finished school at the same time.

I leaned my head against the back of the car and dreamed of another reality, where maybe I could travel the world, get to know new cultures, choose my own college? I took a deep breath when I remembered that I wouldn't have that freedom. Who was I kidding? I knew very well that I would have to take over the family business, succeed my mother in the company.

It wasn't what I wanted, it was her choice, but what choice did I have? Unlike Vivian and Alice's parents. They could choose, their parents were more normal. Despite this, their mother hadn't been listed in Forbes as one of the most powerful women in the state of NY.

My mother was powerful, the owner of a chain of world-famous jewelry stores. Her parents, my grandparents, not only created the company, but expanded it with a lot of effort. It's also said that my great-grandparents were gold miners, and had the great dream of growing up in the empire of jewelry production. And so, from a simple idea, a multi-million dollar company was born, passed down from generation to generation. When my mother came of age, she took over my grandparents' company, tripling the profits with the help of my father, who was a CEO.

What for some was a life of luxury and glamor was for me a real nightmare. In recent years, I wasn't able to reconnect or build a good relationship with my mother, as she traveled frequently on business and cared little for the daughter left to be raised in a girls' school. Until I was 8 years old, I remember that my parents had me, practically, as a family of normal millionaires, but when my father fell ill, she ended up settling us in New Braunfels, a small town on the edge of Texas for medical reasons. Six months later, he died. My mother thought I was too big to have a nanny, so she enrolled me in a boarding school for girls in the north of the city.

It was there that I met Vivian and Alice. Which is honestly the only good thing about being left behind by her. They made my days better and happier. My childhood was difficult, I was constantly lonely, I missed my father; he was everything my mother hadn't been: loving, attentive, caring, a good father, even if he wasn't always there. I just wanted to go home, I even missed my mother, even though we didn't really connect. I was constantly crying myself to sleep. But as I said, my days were better thanks to my friends. Life got a little better when we went to high school. Today I was hoping that it would get a bit better.

- Wow! - Coughing. - What - cough - do you have here? - Cough.

Alice choked after drinking from the small aluminum canteen that Vivian drank from and passed to her.

- Whisky. - She smiled as she took the drink from her hand and sipped it. - Oh, what is it, Nicole? Don't give me that look, we're going to college. - She made a protesting noise with her throat as she took her own sip of the drink. - Damn, that's strong. - She laughed with that sick voice. - No one's going to tell your mom! - She gave a generous wink to Matthew, who was looking disapprovingly in the rear-view mirror - Ah, come on! Just one sip! Even Alice drank it.

- After almost choking to death! - she retorted, her voice hoarse, forcing a frown.

- I don't know...

I looked at Matthew, who seemed distracted by the traffic.

- Oh, you know what? - She used the app on her cell phone and turned up the car stereo to the last volume, spreading Avril Lavigne's Complicated throughout the car. - So? - she raised an eyebrow, as if in defiance.

Well, I could have denied it, they wouldn't have pressured me. I could just say no, but I was tired of the rules that Madeleine imposed on me, even from afar.

Don't go out alone!

Don't drink! Don't smoke!

Stay away from men, they only want one thing!

Preserve your future, you'll be a great CEO when you take over from me!

I've calculated everything, Nicole!

Nicole!

Nicole!

Nicole!

I could almost hear his voice.

But tell me, how can I listen to someone who didn't raise me? Who wasn't part of my life? Who abandoned me when I needed her most? All those years alone. When she or her assistant sent simple gifts on commemorative dates. How many birthdays, Christmases, Thanksgivings, graduations I spent alone. And I never, ever did anything other than what she sent me. Today I wish it were the other way around. I repeated internally, like a mantra

"Today will be different."

Alice let out a soft sigh, looking at me with watery eyes as she held the bottle after her second sip.

- It's okay, sweetheart," she said, patting my hand lightly. - You have to feel good, not pressured. - He smiled sweetly.

- I know... - I said it in a whisper, more to myself than to them. - But I think I want to. - I said uncertainly.

- I'm just tired of all the rules. I'll never be as fearless as Vivian and steal a motorcycle. - I smiled, remembering a hilarious story from a summer we spent at Alice's parents' house. - Or I'll be determined like you. - I smile at Alice. - But I wanted to be me, for one day. To do what I really want. That's why I'm going to drink. - I concluded, after all, what could be so bad?

I picked up the canteen and drank. The hot liquid went down my throat burning, I coughed a few times and stared at the curious eyes above me. That's when I sang the last chorus of the song. First alone, then accompanied by them.

Why do you have to go and make things so complicated? (Yeah, yeah) I see the way you're

Acting like you're somebody else, gets me frustrated

And life's like this you,

You fall and you crawl and you break and you take what you get and you turn it into Honesty, you promised me I'm never gonna find you fake it

No, no, no

We sang in sync, gesturing with our hands, feeling our spirits and emotions run high. Then we laughed, reminisced about old times, made plans for the future, aware that everything would be different from now on.

I just didn't know if it would be for the better.

**