Career frustrations

Book 1: The Chase

He stared long and hard at the ray of sunlight. Through a parting in the curtains, it seeped through like a touch of magic. Today he had to buy the newspaper and land himself a good interview from one of the job ads.

Each time Blake thought about the practical side of finding a job, he prematurely felt miserable at the mere contemplation of the limited prospects out there. He needed three years' experience. 

"How will I get that if I want to earn serious money as well?" he asked himself. 

Four years of studying towards an honors degree and then three years of practical experience, before being able to earn a "real" salary, was pretty much the equivalent of going to medical school, he now reasoned. At least then, for those seven years he would not have had people around, enquiring about when he was going to start earning a living. 

His parents would then also have been more favorably disposed towards helping his family out financially, when needs arose.

His wife Laura, and their six month old daughter Monique, were now increasingly in need of financial support. They had not planned on starting a family while he was still at University. Upon marrying Laura he had not really envisaged starting a family. 

The two of them had only thought it to be quite a splendid idea to get married and move into a flat together, while he studied and Laura kept her admin job at the insurance firm.

Monique was a joy though. Blake had never known that he would be that proud of being a father. She was such a pretty and healthy child. He often saw himself in her.

After about half an hour of lying almost motionless, except for the occasional flickering of his eyelids, Blake sat up and yawned. 

"At least I can afford this," he thought out loud. 

"Laura has to leap up almost the very instant that she opens her eyes," he groaned.

Because he has late nights almost permanently, he cannot even prepare her a quick breakfast before she leaves. 

Feeling guilty does not really help much either. It only makes him nag or go into long periods of silence.

Laura does try to be cheerful and supportive, but Blake also notices the times when the discontentment is written quite clearly on her face, though she does make excuses for her changes in behavior. 

She usually blames it on fatigue, due to a heavy work schedule. 

Blake stared into the mirror to inspect his chin for the stubble which has formed during the past twenty four hours and sighs before throwing himself onto his back, on top of the bed again. 

He closed his eyes briefly and a few seconds later, jumped up promptly. 

He peeped through the window to check out the weather. 

"It looks like it is going to be a rather sunny day." 

There were sparrows up in the tree which grew close to their apartment. He wondered if they had anything to stress about. 

"Well, there's no time to try and figure that one out," he told himself and so he headed towards the bathroom. 

 ***

Later, while having his toast and coffee, Blake decided that he was grateful of one thing today, "No classes to attend today," he said to the empty room.

He had reasoned that it would be a good idea to look for a job during the final year of his electrical engineering degree, so that he could just walk into a job which would be waiting for him next year. 

He now wondered why the idea had seemed even remotely possible at its conception.

He left his slice of toast (which was spread with apricot jam) half-eaten and threw the remainder into the waste bin, which was standing next to the sink. 

His coffee had gone lukewarm and tasteless, so he emptied his cup into the sink. 

He then thoroughly rinsed the cup. 

Next he rinsed the dish swab by holding it under the running tap and with a concentrated effort, he wrung it out by squeezing it with all the tension that he felt in his body. 

He then shook it out and hung it onto its hook, above the sink.

Blake decided that he could not do his share of house chores today. 

This was one of those days when he simply could not afford to follow his daily routine, because he did not have the energy for it and―according to his reasoning―it would only drive him insane.

Laura would not be charmed about the fact that he had not mopped the bathroom and kitchen floors. 

He did not even consider the vacuuming of the carpets and the dusting off of the furniture. 

The kitchen and bathroom were a first priority to Laura. But, today was one of those days when Blake did not feel obliged to keep the peace at all costs, as was his usual prerogative.

Blake was always the peacekeeper, even with his friends. Throughout his life, he had always tried his best to avoid an argument. But, when a fight seemed inevitable, according to his point of view, Blake participated wholeheartedly. This though, was usually the result of pent-up emotions on his part and it was a situation which occurred on isolated occasions only.

He had to go to Jared and discuss his options. He just could not repeat the once weekly Monday procedure of purchasing a newspaper early and then coming back home to phone people, only to end up with nothing, yet again. 

It began to seem as if he would eventually end up doing what he had never planned for originally. No doubt, something with no prospects of a bright future. 

Blake had feared this all the time, but he had usually pushed it to the back of his mind. His main objective was to finish what he had started and that related to his studies. Life was just not very conventional for his family though.