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PEARLS

Author: F_R_A
Fantasy Romance
Ongoing · 7.2K Views
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What is PEARLS

Read PEARLS novel written by the author F_R_A on WebNovel, This serial novel genre is Fantasy Romance stories, ✓ Newest updated ✓ All rights reserved

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Enigma ;the beginning of the end.

''Oh no!oh no! ,stop it ,stop destroying everything!!" ,"stop destruction,its not helping,everything we treasure and everthing we live for will melt away, please stop" Leah screamed and yelled with all she had,she was crying and was running after this ,this....she thought it was an android ;a robot ,but now she couldn't describe it ,the world around her lay in ruins and he was still wrecking more havoc,she saw buildings and skyscrapers and domes melt down kn split seconds ,he was unstoppable. She felt an itch in her throat and her as she yelled after him ,her voice felt croaky bit she could care less.she found herself running towards him with all the speed she could gather;she was really fast; "SHE HAD SUPERSPEED" ,it was a big bold thought in her head ,she ran towards him,managed to get a grip on his machine arm and started yelling and pulling at the arm but it didn't come off. She didn't even relise that he wasn't struggling,yet he didn't push her away . "Why are you doing this" ,"are you crazy?", "can't you see all the damage you've done?," "what's your gain in this ?,you gonna kill everyone" she was saying as she struggled with the arm trying to pull it off ,she didn't even realise they were two machine arms. He pushed her and she landed hard ,she tried to stand but she couldn't, she yelled in terror when she felt a bolt of pain jolt through her ,he knelt down to look at her,he held her broken leg and squeezed the broken part so hard she ran mad with pain . "I should stop,huh? ",the voice felt so hard and harsh,she had to look up at the face; she thought it wasn't a face at all,it was scarred and half of it was tattooed, it was gruesome, "You're asking me what my gain is ?huh", this voice felt so familiar she felt she had known it all her life,she felt as though she had known him all her life ,like he was drawn out of her; the voice;it was filled with rage and consumed with emotions . "You're asking if i can't see the damage i've done" "Do YOU know what damage you have done" ; there was so much emphasis on the "YOU" "But i don't know you" she tried to speak,she was fidgeting "you should have stopped,you should not have taken that decision" she had started moving back but then she felt a hand round her neck ,she felt jerked ;her body rising slowly ,she struggle to come down but his grip was too strong "Its all your fault ,you could have stopped it ,you could have averted this destruction but now its too late" "I was supposes to build this world but now i have to destroy it,better to be dead than suffer invasion and self destruction" She tried mumbling wordsbut she couldn't speak,life was slowly leaving her body. "It's all over,goodbye" "noooooo!!!" She screamed as he flung her on a rock,she stood from afar and saw her shattered bones,she tried to stop him but she no longer had a body,she was dead. He walked through her and saw nothing. Last thing she remembered was an explosion and hot lava . She woke up.

okeke_chinwendu · Sci-fi
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20 Chs

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FayZan
FayZanLv3FayZan

Heyoo! Nice to see a fellow Pakistani Webnovel Enthusiast! Although I see you're new to this side of literature, new authors who wanna try out web novels are always welcome in the community as they can bring in something new and unique to the table, rather than rehashing the same old tropes in a new context. I've gone through the Novel (currently 9 chapters as of writing this) and will be giving you some feedbacks and criticisms from the point of view of someone who's been in the web novel sphere for a quite a while now and is well versed in English as a first language as well as classic literature, if that's alright with you. If that isn't and if any of my feedback feels insulting to you, you can tell me quietly and I'll remove it. I'm not here to offend you or make you feel bad for trying something new and quit.OK, now that we've got that out of the way. I'll tell you what you're doing right. like I mentioned before, since you're new. you're also bringing something new to the table. At least from what I can tell, you're not outright copying a story you read just with a self insert character this time. which is something that alot of beginners end up doing subconsciously. So your plot being unique is your first plus.Secondly, the way you brought in the classic Muqalma/dialogue format that pak schools love to teach, and implemented it into your story ch 2 onwards is something I've yet to see in Webnovel formats tbh. Ofcourse, novelty doesn't automatically make something better, that's something that depends on how the author takes advantage of the new gates this novel method opens for them, and how good the execution of the method itself is. simply being out of the box isn't enough, you need to justify it with competence.In your case, the play dialogue format has some advantages and disadvantages.The advantage is that the conversation is uninterrupted, snappy and quick. Less fluff for the reader to go through.Disadvantages are that it's a little bit less readable without extra formatting. you'll have to BOLD or CAPITALISE your names so that they stand out. Also you can't show emotions in which the dialogue is said, without fully committing to the Scriptwriter/Play Dialogue formatting. for example:Usually what you'll see is:Max replied shakily, "Yeah.. sure". "Nice!" exclaimed Sarah. Happy that she got what she wanted.If you want to convey the same message in your style. you'd probably have to do something like this everytime.MAX: (Voice Shaking) "Yeah.. sure."SARAH: (Excited) "Nice!"Sarah was happy she got what she wanted.-------------Both are abit different and achieve slightly different results in how the emotion is delivered to the reader.On a slightly different but related note, as I've pointed out in one of the paragraphs, your Current usage of brackets seems abit scattered. There are many a times where you'd be better off just replacing those with a comma as it would seem more natural. Especially in the paragraph format parts that occur outside the Dialogue. Going with regular conventions might be key.Other than that you're killing it, I'd recommend getting someone you know who's more experienced in English Literature, to be your proofreader or editor. Simply having another pair of eyes go through it can help you avoid do many silly typos or grammatical errors. Alternatively, if you can't find someone, you could always come back to old chapters preferably once you've written at least 20 chapters and rework them with the new and improved sense you have after writing so many chapters.That's another thing you'll grow to love about writing web novels. You'll feel yourself improve overtime. Especially when you come back to one you wrote a couple years ago.So Keep Going on this journey. I wish you the best of luck! Happy Writing!

LeonardD
LeonardDLv2LeonardD

Really good your style is really unique and I like it keep going

Cosmic_nerd
Cosmic_nerdLv2Cosmic_nerd

Girl you really overdid yourself. This is absolutely beautiful. You're such a precious addition to the writing community <3

Rahat_Nadeem
Rahat_NadeemLv2Rahat_Nadeem

I like your storyIt's quite nice and I love the characters

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