Honor and Past

A small flame was shot toward me. I couldn't see who shot it, but I could tell that it was weak. The level of the user's Link was around D tier. The level of the Link dictates an essence's power according to Viktor's 𝘏𝘪𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘌𝘭𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴. The tiers start at F, being the weakest to E, D, C, B, A, S, SS, to EX being the strongest.

Because the link power was weak, it was easily dodgeable. I moved my body towards the right of the hallway and the small flame went past me. The flame extinguished before it reached the hallway.

I looked back into the room to see the nobleman's son's fingertip laced with a tiny bit of flame. I smiled and asked the boy, "Eren, how about this? Why don't we have a proxy duel?"

Fay looked at me and asked, "Proxy Duel?"

I looked at him, then at Eren, and said, "A proxy duel is a duel where a conflict between two people or groups is settled through a duel. A duel that is between a different set of people that fight for the honor of the two people with the conflict against each other."

"I've never heard of something like that..." Fay mumbled to himself.

Of course, he hadn't heard of proxy duels; they only exist in my world. Stuck-up nobles would always engage in these types of things. I participated as the one who'd duel for the noble as a way to build up my creditability before the tournament for the King's Knight selection. It wasn't that enjoyable though. Some of the nobles I fought for, I despised.

Lost in thought, I had completely missed Fay asking me, "Who is going to fight ?"

I looked at Fay and apologetically said, "Sorry, what did you say?"

Fay repeated his question, "Who is going to fight?"

"Isn't it obvious? Me and Eren will fight. I'm going to fight for Alice's honor and Eren is going to fight for his sister's," I said with a proud smile.

Before Fay could say anything about my suggestion, he was cut off by Eren's mother asking, "Why would we agree to such a childish idea?"

I mockingly said, "Oh, is your son a cripple too? I'm pretty sure about myself but not him, I can't use essence."

Ms. Shiva nodded to the family, affirming my statement, while Eren seemed like he was regretting the statement about me taking Devin's place.

Yes, it's true, I can't use essence. I found this out two months ago while trying to imitate some of the basic essence development techniques I read from.

At first, I thought it might have had something to do with the fact that we were still young. Unless you are from a prestigious family or a noble, most children awaken their link around twelve. I told Ms. Shiva my thoughts about my issue and she agreed; she said, "As long as you can sense the surrounding essence in the air, you should be fine."

"Sense?" I asked her, and she looked at me and said, "Yeah, Sense."

I stared at her for a few seconds until she asked me, "You can sense the essence of the elements, right?"

I didn't answer her question out of ignorance. I simply didn't need to. The unfortunate dread in the atmosphere was already visible.

After that afternoon, Ms. Shiva immediately brought me to a church within the empire's walls. I would have enjoyed the scenery if I wasn't praying for a misunderstanding in my situation the entire way through.

Once we had arrived at the church, the nuns, along with the priest, immediately took me inside. They were getting healers ready to check on my body, more specifically, my heart. The heart is what allows for a link between an element's essence to be established. I talked with some of the nuns.

They told me that if I can't use essence, I should avoid cities and nobles closer to the royal capital. Just like in my old world, a power hierarchy also exists here. Those without power are considered garbage.

A healer dressed in church attire with a hood over her head and a white veil came in. She instructed the nuns to leave, and they nodded and left. She looked at me and then proceeded to place her hand on my heart.

After a minute passed, she took her hand off and looked at me with a sense of pity. I wasn't too sure what happened, but I looked at my chest to see if anything was different.

What I saw was the essence of light, leaving my heart in huge bits. Huge bits that should have been noticeable before it was even cast, and yet, I felt nothing.

The trip back home with Ms. Shiva was silent. Not a word was spoken between us. I was surprised. I thought I would have been someone big in the future that would be of help in the war. If my memory of the altar was right, war will break out soon with Valken, but it seems like I'm just going to be a nobody.

When we arrived back at the orphanage, I went into my room and slept. I didn't let anyone know about my condition, and Ms. Shiva didn't say anything to the others, either. Everyone treated me the same as they stayed ignorant about my situation.

I didn't know what to think during this dark time in this life. I felt empty. Yet, I decided I couldn't give up. If I can't use essence, then I'll do what I can. There were still many things that had to be done. Especially finding out who reincarnated with me, which takes priority.

Though the memory of being crippled pained me, I needed to move forward. The world won't accommodate my inconveniences; it will just keep moving, and so will I.

Fay looked at me with disconsolation after finding out I was crippled. His look of grief for me was too painful to look at despite being acquainted with grief. Maybe this body still bears some of Grim that didn't leave when I took over. I didn't have the answers; all I knew was that I couldn't meet Fay's eyes with mine.

I pointed to Eren and said, "Your link is weak, but will you also forfeit the one thing that you do have? Honor?"

Eren's mother yelled, "Weak? How dare yo-" I said before she could get another word in, "Is "How dare you!" All you can say?"

The mother stopped talking and went silent. Eren looked at me with anger in his eyes and said, "Fine, I accept your proxy duel. I will fight for my mother's, sister's, and father's honor, for we represent the house, Pyoor. What is your name?"

I looked at him and said with confidence to match his, "My name is Grim, Grim Gaither. I will fight for Alice's honor and my family's."

Fay turned his body to me and gave me a nod of approval, with happiness behind his glasses.

"If I may know now, where will the proxy duel be taking place?" Eren asked me with contempt.

I responded with a lousy answer, "Uh, in the backyard?"

The heroic presence I gave off vanished and embarrassment quickly filled its absence. Fay and Eren both gave me a look that spoke a single word, really?

I shrugged, not really thinking I was going to get this far, considering their earlier behaviors. That's when Eren ended up providing a better suggestion, "Why don't we have the proxy duel at my family's estate? Does one month from now work?"

I nodded and walked into Ms. Shiva's office. I walked to Eren and placed my hand in front of him. Eren understood my intentions and met my hand with his own. We shook on it.

***

schliff schliff schliff

I flipped through the pages of a basic combat book on my bed with disappointment.

Useless...Useless...Useless...

I constantly kept mumbling these words as I flipped through pages of combat that involved essence. It really felt like this world wasn't meant for people like me. As I continued to flip through the pages of books, someone knocked on my door.

"Come in," I said while continuing to flip through the pages.

The door opened and a man with a black top hat came in. Wearing a black trench coat with a monocle covering his right eye. Grayish hair that went down to his shoulders with yellow eyes like mine.

Before I could ask who he was or what he was doing there, he clicked his cane onto the ground. My voice wouldn't come out. He turned back and closed the door and turned to face me.

The man cleared his throat and spoke in a light voice, "How have you been, Merlin?"

He knew my real name; he knew I wasn't Grim. Whoever this man was, he held a truth hidden behind lies I have spun that could destroy everything I have. But how?

The man stroked his chin and said, "Merlin... that name isn't fitting for you. What about the hopes of the woman you loved that you took after you killed her?"

I wanted to yell and tell him to stop speaking. How did he know? How did he know about her?

The man was in thought for a few seconds until he had a change of expression. "Ah! There we go, the name that represented her dreams of magic you took after killing her, Morgan Le Fay."