Chapter 8 Under falling leaves

Saturday morning came round and Pax woke up first. This was his preference, he got up early enough that he could shower before the rest of the dorm wakes up. Pax looked over at Marcus and Corey and tried not to laugh at the sight. Marcus had his arms and a leg wrapped around Corey. Corey on the other hand was blissfully sleeping nuzzled face first into Marcus's pecks. Pax was now faced with two options one go have a shower before the rest of the dorm wakes up, or risk it and wait to see their reaction when they wake up. "Oh the conundrum."

Pax grabbed his shower supplies and made his way to the showers. Pax washed his hair to get rid of the bed head, then went to use the toilet. While sitting on the toilet Pax took the time to think about what happened last night. The memory of rolling around with Marcus made his heart race and face blush. He'd like to do it again, but was it ok to do that? Would Marcus be ok with just making out? What about dating? Do same sex couples date like straight couples? All these questions raced through his mind until it was interrupted by two boys walking in.

"Dude did you hear that fag Marcus snuck into the dorms last night?" The first boy said.

"I don't know why people like him so much." The second boy replied. "My ex-girlfriend threw herself at him at a party last year and he nailed her right in front of everyone."

"I hear he drugged some first year student at a party this year." The first boy said with a lascivious tone. "The kid falls into a pool, bashes his head open, is taken up to Marcus's room and Marcus raped him."

Pax overhearing these two boys while in the stall, started to feel sick to his stomach. He knew it couldn't be true. Then Pax began to think about how sexually aggressive Marcus can be. Doubt started to fill his mind, he couldn't remember what happen to him after falling in the pool, and Marcus said he had already seen Pax's scars. All of these thoughts brought doubt to Pax's mind.

The second boy chimed in. "I heard that freshman was making out with a bunch of people."

"Can't rape the willing, I guess." The first boy replied. They laughed at their grotesque comments feeling like they were bad asses.

Pax was sitting in the bathroom stall trying not to cry, unable to understand why they were saying these things. He continued to listen and the horrible boys who kept talking about him and Marcus. After twenty agonizing minutes of listening to their verbal assaults, the boys left and pax could take a moment to cry. Everything they said made him question what actually happened the night at the party. Pax wiped away his tears, he couldn't spend all day in the bathroom. He grabbed his stuff and went back to his dorm room, there he found Marcus and Corey arguing. Pax wasn't sure what they were arguing about but he didn't want to be around them. So he quickly got changed into his normal clothes and grabbed his book bag and fiddle case.

Corey and Marcus realized something was off, so they asked Pax. "Are you ok?"

Pax didn't want to say what was wrong. "I have to get studying for the exams." With nothing but a brush off reply, Pax left the room and headed directly to the one person he trusted most, Kop. Pax put up his hoodie and tried to be as unrecognizable as possible as he walked through the hallways to Kop's dorm room. He felt like a criminal trying to avoid the cops, it was still relatively early in the morning in a Saturday, but most students have gotten in the habit of getting up early on weekends to get the best breakfast options before they are sold out. Sure enough while passing through the lobby, Pax spotted Kop and dashed towards him. "Kop!"

Kop spotted Pax rushing towards him. He waved to Pax and then saw that he looked scared and had red eyes like someone who was crying.

Pax grabbed Kop's arm. "Help!" He said with tears in his eyes and panic on his face. "I don't know why but people are talking about me and about Marcus."

Down the hall behind Pax, they could hear Marcus and Corey shouting for his attention. "Pax?" "Pax where are you?" They were worried about him, but Pax felt the need to hide away from them.

Pax turned to Kop. "I need to hide, from everyone."

Kop instinctively pulled Pax away and took him down the hall to the stairwell with the side door entrance. This was normally a fire escape door that sounds an alarm when people use it, how ever a group of teens who smoke modified it so it would open without triggering the alarm. As soon as they left the building the two boys ran to the back of the school to just find a place to be away from everyone. They got to a place by the tree line with a bench and just sat down.

Kop was now winded from running and wanted answers. "What is going on? Why are you avoiding Corey and Marcus?"

"Last night I realized I like Marcus." Pax began.

Kop wasn't surprised at all.

Pax continued. "Then I found out that Corey likes me too."

Kop just nodded along, and took a sip from his water bottle. He already had thought that was the case so it wasn't a shock to him.

"And then last night, I made them sleep together."

Kop sprayed to water out of his mouth onto Pax. "You made them do what? We're you watching them do it?" He had to turn away from his friend. "I had no idea you were such a perv!"

"What?" Pax asked while wiping spray off himself. It took a second to register what he was said had a second meaning. "No! Not like that!" Pax told the story of how Marcus needed a place to stay so he offered their dorm. How he couldn't get an air mattress so Marcus had to share a bed. How they kissed and Pax was afraid to share a bed with Marcus so he made Corey and Marcus share. "Then this morning while I was in the bathroom I over heard these boys in the shower say Marcus drugged me at the party and took advantage of me after I hit my head in the pool. Then they said I was was whoring myself around at the party and…" Pax started to cry infront of Kop. "They said you can't rape the willing." Pax pulled his sleeves to cover his hands and cried into them. "I don't know what to believe happened that night. I can't remember what happened after I fell in the pool. What if it's true? What if Marcus took advantage of me, he told me he's already seen my scars at the party."

Kop held his friend and tried to comfort him. "Pax i want you to listen to me carefully." Kop lowered Pax's hands from his face. "You were drugged that night. You grabbed someone else's drink by accident and when we realized what happened we tried to find out who did it. It's why you passed out and fell in the pool. When we took you up to Marcus's room we had to take your clothes off cause they were wet, no one did anything to you except try to keep you safe."

Pax began to calm down, but was worried why they hid this from him. "Why didn't you tell me I was drugged?"

"Honestly," Kop knew the answer sounded selfish. "We thought if you found out about it, you'd never want to go to another party. I'm sorry, Marcus wanted to tell you, but we made him swear to commit to the story."

"Wait Marcus wanted to tell me?" Pax had to take a moment to process this information. Why would Marcus want to tell Pax about it if he had taken advantage of him.

"Here's the thing." Kop continued. "While we were trying to find out who drugged the drink, we had to keep an eye on you too. So we took turns staying in the room with you. So for a while you were alone with Marcus. I don't think Marcus is the kind of guy who would take advantage of a someone who is drunk and suffering a head injury. However if you want to know you have to ask him."

Pax felt like he owed Marcus an apology for suspecting him of doing something so disgusting.

Kop reached over and wiped away some of Pax tears. "Now as for people spreading rumours about you and Marcus, I don't think you can avoid this. Everyone knows that when he graduates he has a music career ahead of him. When people see you together rumours will fly. Just know I will hurt anyone who talks shit about you."

This made Pax smile. "Thanks."

Kop still felt a need to ask the big question. "Can I ask you something? Who will you pick?""

Pax was confused. "What do you mean? I thought I already picked Marcus?"

"You have two guys who like you one is super popular and the other is the hottest guy in our grade." Kop explained. "You had them share a bed so that tells me you're still not a hundred percent down with Marcus. Then when you woke up, those two boys are cuddling and you felt no jealousy for either one?" Kop looked sternly at Pax. "If I saw my boyfriend cuddling another guy I'd be outraged. So again are you sure you want this relationship with Marcus? I don't think you're invented enough to be all in and Corey seems like he'd wants to be all in and it would be less complicated."

Pax shook his head. "Corey doesn't care about me, he's just trying to hold to Patrick." Pax explained the back story to Kop about the secret history of Patrick and Corey.

Kop had his suspicions there was a greater reason why Corey was acting the way he was. He smirked a devious grin. "I need to tell Gia this, she was so close. She thought you two were reincarnated lovers."

Pax was unimpressed by this fantasy idea. "That sounds like a B movie plot."

Kop chuckled at Pax's dismissal of a very common BL plot trope. "And falling in love with someone because they have your ex's heart is such a believable concept?"

Pax didn't want to give merit to Kop's comment but he was right. It seemed a bit weird to think Corey had feelings for him just because of Patrick's heart. "That's a valid point." Still its was a thought Pax couldn't shake. "So my two options are be with Marcus and have rumours spread about me or be with Corey and not know if he likes me for me or just Patrick's heart?"

"Option three." Kop interrupted. "You break both their hearts and say no to both of them." Kop held Pax's hand. "Pax, would you say you've always been attracted to guys?"

"No." Pax replied.

"I have." Kop gave a little squeeze to Pax's hand and looked out at the school yard around them. "Ever since I was little I always thought boys were better looking. I always hoped they would look at me the way I look at them."

"Kop, are you about to tell me you like me too?" Pax was really hoping the answer was no, he thought Kop was a good looking guy, but Pax really wanted a friend right now.

Kop let go of Pax's hand. "No, I think you're great and very talented musician, but I don't think I could date someone like you." Kop was afraid he had just insulted his friend so he turned to him to apologize. "Sorry I didn't mean it to sound insulting. I just think since it would be your first relationship with a boy, you would be a lot to handle."

Pax cocked an eyebrow. "Really? You think I'd be alot to handle?"

"We'll you did run to me in tears because you heard some boys spreading nasty rumours." Kop was not going to sugar coat his response.

Pax, however needed Kop's honesty. "Ok so why were you asking if I liked boys before?"

"I just wanted to know," Kop wasn't sure how to phrase the next part delicately. "How the hell did you manage to have those two hotties fight over you? I would consider myself the luckiest man on earth if either of them showed the slightest interest in me. Somehow you, a guy who had zero interest in guys before coming here, have both of them fighting over you."

"Wait so you're mad at me because some stupid boys like me?" Pax felt attacked, as if Kop was saying Pax wasn't worthy of being perused by these two boys.

"No!" Kop had to clarify. "Not mad at you, but maybe a bit jealous." In frustration Kop began to shout. "I mean what do I have to do to fine a man in this country?"

Pax tried to console Kop "Don't stress out about it, you're a real catch.You'll find someone and they'll be way better looking than those two."

The two friends hugged and then Pax noticed a path in the woods behind them. Pax got up off the bench looked towards the forest behind the school. The path reminded him of all the short cuts through the woods in the town he grew up in, random paths leading into the trees. "I never noticed that path before."

"Really?" Kop asked. "I hear a lot of students go out there for inspiration."

Pax smiled. "I could use some inspiration." He grabbed his bag, fiddle case and began to walk to the path entrance.

Kop got up to stop him. "When I said inspiration, I meant inspiration." Kop used his fingers to suggest air quotes around the word inspiration. "You know, smoke weed."

Pax looked at Kop, wondered how he knew about kids smoking pot in the forest. He the shrugged. "I could use some of that too, but I just took my anti-rejection meds. So I'll just try to find regular inspiration." Pax wave good bye to Kop, "Thanks for helping me out. I'm gonna go for a stroll in the woods, to clear my head."

Pax began to walk along the path in the trees. It's was a beautiful setting of sun light pouring through the autumn leaves turning bouncing reflections of yellow and red everywhere, while random leaves began to fall and glide on the breeze. The further along the path Pax walked the more he noticed random smaller paths that split off. Then he came to a fork in the path, pax paid no mind to the path he was taking as he was looking around at the trees and bushes trying to get some inspiration. This became a reoccurring event as the path began to split off more and more until the one path he had taken led to a clearing. A small clearing with a big rock sticking out of the ground. Pax remarked at how beautiful it looked, and walked over to sit down on the rock. "I know I wanted some inspiration but this looks like something out of a fairytale."

Pax leaned back and looked towards the sky at and the majesty of the fall leaves on the tree top. He thought about what Kop was trying to say and pictured the image of Marcus and Corey lying together in bed. He laughed it off originally because they had spent so much time fighting with each other. He was feeling something else too, it wasn't jealousy, at least he didn't think it was jealousy. The voices of the boys from the showers came back to haunt him. "Can't rape thé willing." Pax shuddered, he didn't like the idea of how he was being portrayed. "Did you see that fag Marcus was in the dorm?" These horrible kept circling through his mind. Pax tired to shake the comments off but he was unsuccessful and his gut was beginning to churn.

Pax always used his music to try and fight off his anxiety, so he opened his fiddle case and began to tune. "Why would I want this?" Pax began to play, it wasn't any specific song he was just the notes as they appeared in his brain. They were reflecting his emotion as he thought about what those boys were saying. Short notes climbing the scale representing his want to scream out his anger. Then it changed to softer swaying notes as he began to think of Marcus. The way he made Pax feel, the way Marcus's lips felt against his own. His tempo quickened as he remembered the passionate kissing, the two rolling around on his bed, that first passionate kiss in the mens room that took him by surprise. Then the image of Marcus and Corey reappeared in his mind and Pax stopped. There it was the image that of the two of them wrapped together in a cuddly embrace. It sank into his stomach, "What if I'm pushing them both away towards each other?" Pax slumped down to the ground as tears began to trickle down his cheek. "I'm going to lose them both."

Back at the campus Marcus and Corey had been running around trying to find Pax. They had spent the past two hours going from building to building, trying to find him. They stoped at the track bleachers to catch their breath. Corey looked at Marcus, " I'm worried it's been two hours and something is wrong."

Marcus looked around the track. "Something is definitely wrong." He liked back at Corey. "We've been everywhere on campus now, he must be off campus."

"You think he went into town?" Corey asked.

Marcus shrugged. "I mean if Kop or Adrianna went with him, but Adrianna's at Marcie's. No way they are awake this early on a Saturday."

"We need to find Kop." Corey snapped his fingers. "You check the dorms, I'll check his usual haunts."

The boys split up and ran off in separate directions. Corey running to the student center and Marcus to the dorms. At the Dorms Marcus was walking around asking anyone from the music program if they had seen Kop. Meanwhile behind the main school building Corey spotting Kop and Gia talking. Corey ran to Kop shouting his name. "Kop!"

Kop saw Corey and rolled his eyes looked at Gia. "Turns out you weren't far off about Corey and Pax. Heart transplant story with a love triangle twist."

Corey ran up to Pax. "Kop! Have you seen Pax?"

"Yes I have and you should leave him be." Kop said brushing him off. "Rumours are starting to spread and he needs to clear his head."

Corey looked concerned "What rumours? Where did he go?"

Kop shook his head. "Rumours about him and Marcus. They were really vile rumours too, he was a mess this morning."

Corey felt bad that Pax had been attacked like this. He knew it wasn't his fault, but in the back of his mind he also blamed Marcus for inserting him into Pax's life. "Where did he go?"

"He said he was going to for a walk to clear his head." Kop said waving him off.

Corey was getting agitated with Kop at this point. "Where!"

Kop was now done with Corey. "He went for a walk in the stinger woods over there." Kop pointed to the path in the distance. "But don't bother he's trying to figure things out. He needs the alone time."

Corey barely paid attention to what Kop said and ran off to the path in the woods. Hearing about the rumours fuelled him further. He was horrible to Pax after Patrick died, and helped people bully him. These past few years he's been wanting to make up for it and now in a new school away from everyone who tormented Pax, Corey would not let it happen this time. As he ran down the forest path Corey decided to make a promise as soon as he found Pax, to stand by him and protect him this time, but as he came to a fork in the path a new thought crossed his mind. "What if he's lost in the woods?"

Back in their hometown, Corey, Pax and Patrick were no strangers to random paths through the woods. These kinds of paths were everywhere, it was a tiny village surrounded by forest and water. They would play together in the woods all the time, but compared to Corey, Pax wasn't really raised by hunters. Corey's dad, cousins, uncles and aunts were all hunters and taught Corey how to survive in the woods. Bagging a deer or a Moose to have meat for the winter was important. Thanks to this lifestyle Corey was use to navigating in the woods, he could tell direction by position of the sun, which direction his shadow was being cast the moss on the trees and how to navigate back looking at the tracks he's left. "Tracking a wild animal is one thing." Corey looked down at the tracks left by so many students who had come this way before. "There too many to figure out which one is Pax." This was too aggravating for Corey so he just trusted his gut and chose the path to the right.

Back in the dorms Marcus was still trying to get a lead on where Kop was. When he bumped into some guys from he knew from the theatre program. Before he had recognized who they were he had blurted out, "oh sorry. I didn't see you."

"We'll look who it is." Said the boy he bumped into. "Everyone's favourite Fag."

Marcus sized him up. The boy was a little shorter than Marcus, skinny with dirty blond hair and bushy eyebrows. "You're that guy from the theatre arts program. What was it again?"

The boy felt annoyed that Marcus couldn't bother to know his name. "It's Cody."

"Bigot! That's right." Marcus interrupted him. "Like I give two shits who you are. Get out of my way."

Cody didn't care for Marcus superiority act. "Maybe I should warn the faculty a rapist is in the dorms."

Marcus stoped dead in his tracks, he slowly turned back towards Cody. There he was standing there with a big grin on his face knowing he just stuck a deep chord with Marcus. "What did you just say?"

Cody was bathing in the hatred coming off Marcus. It was like a drug to know how easily he got under the skin of the high and mighty idol of the school. "We all heard the rumours, you drugged a freshman. He almost died of a head injury, but that didn't stop you from taking him to your room an fu.."

Cody's last word was quickly interrupted with a fast and powerful punch to his face by Marcus. The punch was so forceful it sent Cody reeling back almost forcing him to the ground. Marcus's fist had tightened up so much that his knuckles looked like they were about to burst out from under his skin. The shorter Boy next to Cody was momentarily stunned but thought if Cody got back up then it would two on one, or if nothing else they could bash Marcus's face up enough that his music career would end. Unfortunately for both of them Marcus had been training to fight for the past five years and recently had been sparing against Corey every time they butt heads.

Cody got to his feet and charged at Marcus swinging at him like someone who's never had a real fight before. While his friend tried to hold Marcus back. It didn't take much effort to dodge the punch thrown by Cody, by fighting standards it was pretty slow and really wide. Pushing off with his legs Marcus leaned back and used his clear height advantage to throw off the friend's balance, letting Marcus dodge the punch. He then recoiled forward twisting his torso and using his momentum to trip the boy sending him rolling to the ground.

Marcus raised his fists ready to fight Cody one on one now that his friend was in the ground. With one quick step Marcus moved in close to Cody and landed a powerful uppercut to his solar plexus knocked the wind out of Cody that he crumbled to the floor gasping for air. Marcus squatted down to Cody and with the most threatening tone he could muster said, "If you ever spread rumours about me or my friends again. You better hope I never find you, because I will end you." Marcus got up and walked off to continue his search for Kop. After hearing what Cody said, he was now more worried about Pax.

Out in the woods Corey was trying his best to find Pax, with the increased about of path off chutes it wasn't easy until he started to hear a noise. It sounded music, it was feint but he could hear it coming from the distance. Corey kept looking for landmarks as he followed the sound of the music and as he got closer he could hear it was more and more like someone playing the fiddle. Corey was now certain he was getting close, so he began to shout. "Pax!" To try and get a response but with no one shouting back, he had to keep trekking forward towards the music.

Corey let his hearing lead him as he made markers along the way to help him find his way back. As he got closer and closer to the music he started to notice it's melancholy sound. He knew instantly Pax was trying to deal with things on his own. It gave Corey pause, he knew it was important for Pax to be able to process negative emotions, but the guilt of being someone who caused him harm before made Corey want to press forward. He continued through the brush, guided by Pax's music, until he made his way into the clearing. Corey gazed at the serene sight of Pax sitting against this big rock in a small clearing playing his fiddle while the autumn leaves were falling down around him. The majesty of this sight made Corey's heart beat rapidly.

Pax was improvising a melody with his eyes closed, trying to feel the music coming from inside himself, completely unaware of Corey's presence. As he played his music into, ramping into a crescendo he opened his eyes and stopped with a single base note. Corey was staring at him, Corey's face was overwhelmed with emotion from Pax's performance, causing his heart to race. Pax could hear it, the racing heart beat coming from Corey's chest. This intense beating from Corey felt familiar, his own heart knew that beating. It the same powerful rhythm that Patrick had once embraced. Pax's heart began to race in sync with Corey's. There were no words said just Corey, Pax, their heartbeats and the falling leaves.

Corey in the blink of an eye moved in and cupped one hand around the back of Pax's neck and kissed him passionately. Pax was overwhelmed by that he wasn't sure was even real. But the feeling of Corey's lips pressing hard own, their tongues rubbing accros each other sent shivers down Pax's whole body. With a deep breath through his nose it inhaled the scent of Corey it was all so intoxicating, that Pax lost the grip on his fiddle, letting fall down on a pile a leaves by the large rock.