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ALMOST ADULTING

"No, seriously—you're telling me your mom is pregnant?" Ming asked, scooping a mouthful of potato pudding. I didn't bother answering, just sighed, letting the muffled chaos of the cafeteria wash over me.

"Isn't your dad like, fucking seventy or something?" Ming went on.

"Shut up, you fucking asshole," I muttered, barely glancing at him.

Fiona reached across the table and placed a hand on mine. "Hey, zombie. I don’t get why you’re so worked up about this. Think about it! A miniature you—it’d be adorable! I hope it’s a girl," she added, dreamily looking up at the cafeteria’s high ceiling.

I pulled my hand away, exasperated. "Do you even hear yourself? Do you know how fucking stupid that sounds?"

"Still amazed your old man has it in him, man nigga be hitting it." Ming whispered, barely containing a laugh. I clenched my fist, staring down at my untouched food, wondering how much trouble I’d get in if I threw something at him.