Chapter 5

Fortunately, the next day was Saturday and I was grateful for a chance to sleep-in. We were meeting at my mum's place for lunch at noon which gave me enough time to wake up without rushing. I've always loved lunch dates at my mum's on the weekends when we all got a chance to catch up and chat away the afternoon since our working schedules were crazy during the week. Becca and Brian were coming and Mike was joining us after finishing the lunch with his dad.

I got interrogated by the happy couple about Jake situation as soon as I sat at the table. I was trying to avoid thinking about him the whole morning, but now there was no escaping it. I mumbled a shorter version of our first meeting but leaving out the party encounter.

Brian mentioned Jake left the party in a weird mood, which gave me a momentary sense of satisfaction, but when he added that Serena surely improved his foul mood later, my short-lived good mood quickly faded.

I smiled but somehow the insinuation didn't sit right with me. Some nagging voice in the back of my head was trying to suggest I was the one who wanted to make him feel good. Oh god, I'm in bigger trouble than I thought.

I still felt hot when remembering the words we exchanged yesterday, and don't get me started on how deliciously he smelled; I just wanted to snuggle in the crook of his neck and lick him all the way down to his toned chest.

I had to keep reminding myself how big of a player he is in order to keep my fantasies at bay. Honestly, the guy obviously has issues with being faithful – who comes to a party with one woman and then openly flirts with another? The situation reminds me too much of Scott and that just leaves a bitter-sweet taste in my mouth.

The rest of the lunch remained relaxed, not mentioning the particular person again and I was finally feeling peaceful after a long week I had. We drank coffee after lunch and ate my mum's best apple pie in the whole world while chatting about everything and nothing at the same time.

The wedding was coming up in a few months and there were a ton of things left to be done, a lot of them falling on me since I was the Maid of honor. But no matter my busy schedule, I was going to make sure my sister gets the wedding she has always dreamt about, even if it means tolerating the obnoxious best man for the next few months.

I left with Mike at around five o'clock, successfully avoiding any further interrogation from Becca about what happened at the party. I knew I won't be able to hide it from her for long but today was really not the day I wanted to talk about it.

Mike went home and I decided to take a stroll down O'Connell Street with another coffee shot from Starbucks while enjoying the crowd around me. I loved feeling the city vibe, see people rushing here and there, cars passing by, and tourist buses calling for potential customers.

I always felt like I'm two people trapped in the same body; my personality was contradicting itself constantly. I was a big fan of rock bands but classical music was a balm for my soul. I was extremely organized in my workspace but my private life was a constant mess. I always craved all the fuss of a big city but at the same time enjoyed and needed my alone time more often than not. And this was definitely one of those days.

My mind was jumping from one topic to another while walking down the busy street – from my studies (since I was only a few months away from getting my MA) to my family and friends, who drove me crazy as much as they made me feel loved. My dad was not in the picture since my mum divorced him and I think we were always better off this way.

However, there are always certain consequences a child with divorced parents goes through. There is no mystery about me looking for a guy that wouldn't be afraid to handle me, but would still be a safe constant in my life. I craved a male figure in my life and it often made me feel insecure when it came to people loving me. If I didn’t feel reassured in any type of relationship I’ve had, I would seek and push for getting the attention I craved; or doing exactly the opposite - running the other way without giving it a proper shot. It was honestly a 50:50 chance. It was messed up, but it was something I was aware of and trying to overcome.

I took a deep breath and redirected my thoughts once they went down that road. I didn't need another thing today to keep me anxious. Jake-situation was doing that enough on its own. After walking around for an hour I returned to my apartment, snuggled on my couch with a bag of popcorn, and enjoyed the rest of my evening watching TV shows. I loved lazy Saturdays.

--

Next week went by in a blur and wedding arrangements were becoming more intense with each day. It did help, however, to keep my mind from wandering to Jake and his stupidly handsome face. By the end of the week, I almost forgot about our conversation. Almost.

It's Friday night and I'm heading over to Becca and Brian's place to put together the sitting arrangements, but mostly just to have a chill-out evening.

Hanna was meeting me there and I knew Brian's brother with his wife will be joining us later in the evening. I've never really bonded with them but since they were Brian's family they came with the package. I was the first to arrive and after half an hour of putting together the names and the tables, the doorbell rang. Becca got up to get the door and when she opened I heard a male voice greeting her.

Shivers went down my spine when realizing Jake just entered the apartment. I couldn't expect not seeing him again, but I wasn't prepared to see him today. When he entered the living room with Becca by his side, his eyes collided with mine. We stared at each other for a bit too long and a bit too intense. When I finally plastered my fake polite smile on my face and greeted him, amusement flashed through his eyes and he greeted me back with a mischievous smile of his own.

"Hello Jessica, nice seeing you again."

I snorted at his comment and he chuckled at my obvious annoyance while Becca looked at us suspiciously. Brian was oblivious to our whole interaction - I love men and their lack of perception in moments like this.

Jake joined us at the table and sat opposite me, making it really hard not to stare at him the whole time. Just remember how to breathe and don't look him in the eyes. Whatever you do, Jessica, just don't look at his stupidly beautiful green eyes.

Soon after the rest of the company joined - Brian's brother with his wife, and Hanna at the end. She gave me an 'OMG' look when she saw Jake sitting there with us and I tried my best not to show how nervous I am. Nothing actually happened between us, but I always felt some inexplicable pull when he was in the vicinity. At this point, I really didn’t know anymore if there is something there or if I’m truly going crazy.

Despite him making all my senses hyper-aware, the evening went pretty well. We ordered food, drank delicious wine, and got to know each other a bit more.

I managed to keep my interaction with Jake to a minimal level and for a change, the evening went smoothly without me getting embarrassed. I have gotten to know better Brian's brother Kevin and his quite beautiful wife Marry, but something about them just made them not my cup of tea. And judging by the interaction my sister had with them, she would agree with my assessment.

I have gotten to know a bit more about Jake as well. He mentioned being extremely busy lately with the new project at work, but not mentioning enough for me to decipher what is it that he actually does. Apparently his parents moved to England and he was still debating whether to visit them during the Christmas holidays. The things my sister told me about their childhood made sense now with his impassive attitude towards his family. His parents traveled a lot and didn’t spend much time with him. This is why he hung out with Brian a lot and felt more connected to him and his family than his own.

Hanna gave me a few suggestive looks during dinner and I saw she was hardly containing herself to not burst to laugh at my obvious discomfort. I really hoped Jake didn't notice our meaningful glances.

Despite having a pretty decent time I was sort of relieved when the evening started getting to an end. Regardless of the company being chilled and relaxed, I couldn't help but feel strange energy buzzing between us throughout the whole evening. I felt stress building up in my neck and shoulders, making me crave a relaxing bath, maybe a glass of wine and zero overthinking. Jake was surely the reason for my being too nervous to relax. His eyes tracing my every move didn't help at all.

Kevin and Marry left first and Hanna went a couple of minutes later announcing she had a date, trying desperately to avoid my shocked face when saying it. That little fox. I'll have to grill her tomorrow about who is the mystery guy she hid from me.

After helping clean up everything I decided to call it a night and say my goodbyes. At the same moment, Jake stood up from his chair and decided to leave with me. A spark of excitement and anxiousness went through me at the idea of him leaving with me, but I tried to appear as nonchalant as I could pull off. By the way, Becca was looking at me I’m not sure it was that successful.

We said goodbyes to our hosts and I had to promise Becca to call her tomorrow since she was practically buzzing with all the unasked questions.

We stepped out in the hall, stopping briefly at the elevators before entering. As soon as the doors started closing I felt the air charging with something heavy, almost suffocating, uncomfortably filling the small space around us. Or maybe it wasn’t uncomfortable. Just intense. I tried to take a peek at his direction, but he was looking down at his feet, avoiding my gaze for the first time this evening.

I wondered if he felt the energy pull that was making me itch to touch him, but he remained impassive with his head turned down and away from me. If I wouldn't notice his hands gripping the railing with such force that it made his knuckles turn white, I would think he was almost bored being next to me. What is he thinking about?

Finally, we arrived down the longest eight stories of my life and he put his hand on the small of my back leading me out of the elevator. The touch of his hand on my back surprised me and sent an electric shock right through my whole body. I had to physically restrain myself to not react at the sensation, but the goosebumps erupting on my skin were out of my control. I was praying like crazy that my body wouldn't betray me further and let him notice what he's doing to me.

Jake removed the hand from my back when we stepped outside in the fresh autumn air and I almost whined from the loss of his touch.

He caught me off guard when he leaned down and whispered in my ear, "Breathe, Jess." Oh, he knew what he was doing alright. He was toying with me.

My knees buckled when I felt his warm breath on the shell of my ear and his intoxicating scent assaulting my senses again. Dammit, I couldn't focus around him.

I dragged the words out. "I am breathing just fine. T-thank you."

He chuckled. "Each time I see you, you look sexier. You are truly driving me crazy."

I stumbled at his one-eighty turn in behavior and he held my arm before letting me fall flat on my face. I looked up at him with confusion in my eyes, and I saw a flicker of heat pass in his.

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"I mean you looked damn hot in that short dress the other evening and you look even better today. And the way you were blushing at the coffee shop, just the way you are starting now, makes me want to press you against the wall and do all kinds of dirty things to you."

At the audacity of his words, I didn't know if I was going to blush further, slap him, or jump his bones right there and then. Where is all the restrain and dismissiveness from the elevator ride? Once again he made me burn from inside out without even trying that hard. I cleared my throat, starting to feel braver when I saw the desire shining from his eyes.

"What makes you think your words have any effect on me? If I recall well, you told me you won't touch me."

"I said 'I shouldn't touch you', not that I won't." His thumb and forefinger grabbed my chin and pulled it high up so I had to look him directly in his eyes "And sweetheart, I can practically feel how turned on you are right now, which, don't get me wrong, is fucking hot. I know if I would take your hand and lead you to my car or yours for that matter, you wouldn't say no."

This caught me by surprise, a feeling of cold shower cascading all over me even though a very small part actually agreed to his absurd proposition. But my mature and self-respected part pushed through. This was so at odds with him. It seems like he has two sides of him showing to the world. When we are in the company of our close people he is an extremely caring and attentive person, even could be described as charming. Then there is this side of him where he dates shallow girls and flirts shamelessly with others. Which one is the real him? Or is it both?

I snapped out of my trance, removed his hand from my face, and tried composing myself before responding.

"Who the hell do you think you are? You think I let any man take me wherever and whenever they please? And you are with another woman! What exactly is it that you want from me? Do I look like some kind of a plaything when you are bored?!"

I see surprise flash through his face and then something similar to anger entering his features. I turn around reaching for the car door, not giving him the opportunity to answer, when he puts his hand on my arm and pulls me back in front of him. It makes me collide with his chest at the unexpected movement. In shock, I put my hand on his front to steady myself, which allows me to feel how hard-muscled he actually is. Big mistake touching him again.

I start to feel the burn between my legs returning the longer he holds me close to his chest and I think I stopped breathing altogether a few seconds ago just to avoid inhaling his scent. My body is as confused with reactions towards him as my brain is about his personality.

Jake slowly almost threatening lowers his head, his full lips inches away from mine. The green of his eyes takes on a darker shade when they lock with mine, and I feel his hot breath on my parted lips.

He replies in a deep voice, "I don't need playthings, I've got plenty of them. And me saying you are unbelievably sexy is not an insult. When and if we ever fuck, you will feel anything but not appreciated. And don't you ever call yourself a plaything again!"

I'm looking at him wide-eyed, completely shocked with his outburst, wondering why all of a sudden the conversation took a different turn. This was anything but cocky Jake that just told me he would fuck me in my car. His change of mood gives me constant whiplash. Before I can think of anything to reply, he abruptly lets go of my arm and walks away from me without a backward glance.

Very confused and still feverish from touching him I finally manage to sit in my car and it takes me a good few minutes before I'm able to drive away.