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Not perfect enough for Love

Urban
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Zusammenfassung

“Fated" is meeting the same soul in every lifetime, loving them even through deception. It’s the weight of tears spilled on the same shoulder, century after century. It’s collision after separation—an inevitable return, as if the universe itself bends to bring us together. Fated is you. Fated is us. Fated is love’s fire, friendship’s anchor, family’s unbreakable thread—even the cruelest twists of fate that still led me to you. We are fated, Adam. --- Aziza—a bloodstained paradise, torn between spies and mafias in a war without end. The only hope for peace? A vow sworn in childhood, binding two heirs: Salama, the mafia princess, and Adam, the spy king. Their marriage was meant to end the conflict, but love was never part of the bargain. Hate ignited their first touch. Despair shadowed every glance. Yet through years of bullets and betrayal, longing festered beneath the fury. Now, they stand at the edge of destiny—will their love save Aziza, or drown it in flames? --- Adam’s voice, raw with devotion: “Salama, I’ve heard napalm is a gut-wrenching poison—a chemical that devours flesh. But I’d swallow it gladly before I’d lose you. You’re the only antidote to the venom my father pumped into my veins."* Salama’s reply, a blade of ice and agony: "I can’t love a man baptized in darkness. If I could carve you from my heart, I would. But even my hatred for you… feels like obsession."

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Chapter 1You will be mine

Chapter 1

Even if they said I'd be safe here, working as a secretary for a faceless man. I had watched so many die before me—parents, children, teachers, and tradesmen. No one was safe, including me. I lived every day in fear, in pure acceptance of a death that might come to me.

I will, however, admit that the only reason I'm here in the first place is because I…

"Here," Aliyan said, placing a file on my desk. "I must rush out. Something urgent came up; when you give him his coffee this morning, also hand him the file."

I smiled, picking the file up. I've been working here for two months now—making coffee, creating schedules, handling dry cleaning—everything but fulfilling my marketing duties.

The coffee machine beeped, pulling me from my thoughts as usual. I added milk and headed towards his office, but an explosion rocked the building. A bomb? A missile? There was no telling.

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JcPancakes
JcPancakesLv1

Writing Quality: The writing vocabulary is good, with good command on the language to describe expressions and scenes accurately. There are several minor grammatical mistakes throughout the story. Besides that, there are inconsistencies in spacing and capitalization that can be quite distracting. I would also suggest the author to translate the Islamic terminologies such as Assalamualaikum (Peace be upon you) and such for readers not familiar with it for a better reading quality. Stability of Updates: Looking at the history of updates, it is fairly consistent. 5 stars. Story Development: I really like the difference of interest the character has and the connection of it to the past, present and future. The jump between characters can be quite confusing, changing between Nura and Zafar. I find the dual perspective interesting but it can be done better. Maybe give a subtitle before you start? For example, [Nura's POV]. Character Design: Haha, already a rebellious start in the story. I like it, it gives flavour to your characters. The actions your characters have, flashbacks and monologues all contributes to a clear idea on how the character behaves. Well done! 5 stars. World Background: I enjoyed the background of Islamic neighbourhood, the parents disapproval with art and such. However, it wasn't really fleshed on and was cut really short. It feels really one-sided. Why does the parents disapprove on that? Have they tried it, or its because solely on society's expectations? If so, how would they feel about it when she told them about it? Are there fellow artists who had the same situation? How about the biker gang? What do they do besides competing? How are their relationship with the community? Do they fear them, or just impassive? What would happen from that relationship? There are so much to explore besides the interaction between the characters.

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