14

Chapter 14: Confrontations

Hermione grasped the door knob tightly, frozen in front of the man who stood there scowling at her. "What have you done?" he growled dangerously.

At that moment, she knew he wasn't there as Hogwarts' Potions master; Severus Snape was by her door as her son's father. He knows. A pain shot through her heart at the realization, and it was suddenly hard to breathe. She looked with apprehension at the narrowed black eyes pinning her where she stood.

Snape started to advance on her, the door closing behind him. He never took his eyes from hers, and she took a step back, but he continued forward. "What have you done?" he hissed, his nostrils flaring, showing his barely contained rage. She continued to back up in a vain attempt to escape.

She reached a wall and found herself cornered by the enraged man. He grabbed her by one arm, squeezing it in a vicious crush, and shook her as he demanded, "Why did you do this to me?"

She gasped, "You're hurting me."

He merely stared at her, breathing hard and still gripping her arm; she stared back.

He released her with force, the jostle shaking her arm and body. Severus turned from her, demanding in a dangerously low voice, "Answer me."

She wrapped her arms around herself, rubbing the sensitive spot where he'd grabbed her, trying to ease the burning pain. What do I do now? How do I explain? she thought, staring at the back of the angry man. He suddenly turned back, startling her from her thoughts.

"I'll ask you one more time, Granger. Why?" His eyes flashed in the light, under those pinched brows.

She took a shaky breath. "I didn't do anything to you," she answered, barely hesitating. She had to know for sure what he was talking about - how much he knew. Her stomach was starting to churn; the moment of truth had arrived.

"I don't have patience for this," he growled. "Tell me. NOW!"

She closed her eyes, and lowered her head. "Severus, I…" she started.

"How could you do this to me?" he demanded, not allowing her time to gather her thoughts. "How could you keep…" His face contorted in disgust. "A child of…"

"I couldn't have done anything else," she said quietly.

"Wrong. You were the only one who could," he countered, "because you… gave… me… no… CHOICE!"

"Could you have chosen then?" she asked, rising her head again to face those intense black eyes. "Would you even have considered keeping him?" She knew he wouldn't.

"Of course not!" he said vehemently, proving her right.

"Now you know why I didn't tell you," she said matter-of-factly.

His eyes never left hers. "Why?" he asked simply.

"Because I wanted him," she answered, delivering truth in her words and in the intensity of her gaze. "I needed him," she added in a pleading voice, wanting him to understand.

He shook his head in disbelief. "How could you want him? Why would you need…" his face contorted again, "a rape child?"

"Nathan is not a rape child!" she argued.

"Oh, please. I was there, remember? I was the one raping you!" he bellowed, spitting his dark sarcasm.

She held his enraged gaze. "You didn't, Severus."

"I know what I've done," he said, his expression filled with self-loathing.

"So you know you saved me that night."

"Unfortunately, I did that, too," he stated.

She gasped in disbelief from what she was hearing. "What do you want to hear from me? That I hate you? That I hate my son? I don't!" she said in exasperation.

"You've ruined the life I've saved because you decided to keep that child. Look at you," he said in contempt. "You could have been anything you wanted, even Minister of Magic. But look at what you've become: a pathetic Muggle teacher who turned from the magical world in which you had so desperately longed to be accepted."

"You don't know what you're talking about," she said shaking her head in denial.

"All because of a child you had no right to keep without informing me," he continued as if she hadn't said anything, "I never wanted an heir; I never wanted anything to do with children! And now you come saying you wanted, even needed, this child. What for? To remind you of that night I decided to save you!"

"Nathan is not a souvenir!" she shouted.

"Why did you keep him then, if not to remind you of what happened?"

"Because I needed him!" she yelled at him. "Can't you understand? Nathan is the best thing that ever happened to me. He's my son!"

"Not only yours!" he shouted back.

They locked eyes, both breathing hard after their respective outbursts.

"What did you tell him?" she asked quietly, breaking the uncomfortable silence that fell between them. He didn't answer. Anxiety started to take over the adrenaline of the moment. Does Nathan know? Did he tell him? What did he say? Her mind was racing, hysteria building

"Severus, what did you tell Nathan?" she urged in a shrill voice. He ignored her again and turned away, walking toward the door.

"Severus!" she called, following him.

He turned back, then, staring at her with those obsidian eyes; she stopped where she was, waiting for an answer that never came. His eyes held hers for a moment longer, and then, with the sharp crack of Apparition, he was gone.

She raged in frustration. "How could he leave like that? What is he going to do now?" A tear rolled down her cheek. That was not how she'd expected that conversation to end. He was still furious with her, and she didn't know what Nathan knew or what Severus' intentions were regarding him. She suppressed a sob and breathed deeply to regain control.

Stubborn bastard! she cursed mentally. She was sure he hadn't listened to a single word of what she'd said, just as she knew Nathan wouldn't, either. Their tempers was so alike. She brushed another unwanted tear away with the back of her hand. She would have to speak to him again; she would have to go to Hogwarts.

But not now, not today. She knew he wasn't ready to hear her yet. She sighed. She would have to wait if she wanted to succeed.

Nathan left the Great Hall after dinner and entered the dungeons. His friends headed for the common room as soon as they had finished their meals, wanting to enjoy the celebration as long as it lasted; after all, winning a Quidditch match against Slytherin was always a reason to celebrate through the night.

He stopped in front of the Potions classroom door, sighed and knocked. After waiting for the usual 'enter' and not hearing it, Nathan tapped the door once more, this time with more force, and still there was no answer.

After the fourth series of unanswered knocks, ever so cautiously, Nathan opened the wooden door and peered inside. The classroom was darker than normal. He waited until his eyes became accustomed to the darkness so he could see more easily, but even then there wasn't light enough to discern if he was alone in the room.

Nathan hesitated for a moment before opening the door further. He waited for a reprimand for intruding, but it never came. He entered the room and closed the door behind him, but now he couldn't see anything. "Incendio," he said, pointing his wand to where he knew a candle hung on the wall, and the flame illuminated that part of the classroom; it was empty.

Nathan frowned. Where is Professor Snape? His professor had never been late for one of his detentions before, and he didn't think it was something the Potions master would do; after all, he praised punctuality more than any other professor at Hogwarts.

He pointed his wand to another candle and repeated the incantation that brought it to light. He did this a couple of times more, and the room now resembled the atmosphere he remembered from previous detentions. What do I do now? He looked around. He didn't think it a good idea to leave; what if Professor Snape was testing him? No, he was staying, he decided.

Nathan walked toward the front of the classroom, where Professor Snape's desk was. He could see some books, a quill holder with some quills inside, two ink bottles – black and red, some blank parchments and others written in the Potions master's spidery handwriting. Nathan glanced around the room, spending some time staring the door at the right of Professor Snape's desk, one he knew led to the man's office, but there wasn't a sign of life there, either. He looked back to the desk and moved closer.

Even upside down, he could read the title of the book on top of the pile: 'Human Transfiguration: a Potions Approach'. Nathan arched an eyebrow at that. Potions and Transfiguration – two subjects he liked. He was tempted to take the book. He looked around again and, seeing no one, reached for the tome. It was heavier than he thought it would be.

Nathan opened the book and started reading the first paragraph, which was enough for him to know it was a very advanced book. He narrowed his eyes, but it didn't help him understand what was written there. He closed the book after reading and re-reading the first page a dozen times. He sighed and put the tome back on the pile, then he turned from the desk and took in the classroom once more; there was still no sign of Professor Snape.

He decided to take a seat by the workbench in front of the professor's desk and wait a little longer. If Professor Snape didn't show up in half an hour, he would look for Headmistress McGonagall and inform her of the strange absence.

Severus Apparated to the edge of the Forbidden Forest, wanting to hex something. I shouldn't have gone there, he admonished himself while stalking back to the school. The cold wind blowing his robes and hair was doing nothing to abate his boiling anger. He'd been, and still was, very angry with Hermione, but he was now even angrier with himself.

He had decided to look for her after spending the afternoon following the Quidditch match, deep in thought. He had been annoyed at the show of affection between his son and Weasley, and the look of admiration on Nathan's face. He wanted that for himself; he wanted his son to look at him that way. And he was now frowning in contempt of his desires even at the remembrance.

So, in the heat of his jealousy, he had looked for her, wanting answers. She'd messed with his life and with his feelings by keeping that child. He needed to know why she had done such a foolish thing, why she had kept the child. But looking for her had been a mistake made in a rare moment of weakness.

Even the icy temperature couldn't lessen the burning sensation in his chest. Her voice rang in his head, saying she had wanted the boy, she had needed the boy – his son. But how could she want or need a child who's a result of such a barbarian act? He didn't believe her, and all he could think was that she had lost her grip on reality.

He walked up the steps leading to the oak doors and entered the castle, going directly to the dungeons, lost in turbulent thoughts. He followed the dark corridors without looking around, and the few students still out and about shied away from his menacing figure.

Severus opened his classroom door with a bang. He went straight to his desk to gather some notes on the practical aspects of his ongoing research he would be using tomorrow morning. He didn't notice the burning candles, nor the boy following his movement across the room.

"Professor Snape?" Nathan called.

Severus, who had his back to the boy, turned, startled at the sound of someone else in the room, and growled in annoyance upon realizing who this person was. "Who gave you permission to enter here?" he asked.

"We have a detention, sir. When I arrived you weren't here. Since you didn't say anything about canceling it, I decided to wait until you arrived," Nathan explained.

He turned from the boy again leaning his hands on his desk, therefore not seeing the curious look that was being directed at him. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Are you feeling all right, sir?" he heard his son ask, but Severus didn't acknowledge him.

When he heard the stool rasping at the stone floor, he turned abruptly and found Nathan coming his way. "Stay where you are," he said dangerously.

"I can go to the infirmary if you want," Nathan suggested, stopping in his advance. "I can fetch Madam Pomfrey."

"Do you want to help?" he spat. His son just looked at him with an unusual expression. "Then get out, NOW!"

The infuriating boy kept staring at him with that odd countenance. "I don't think you should be alone if you're not feeling well, sir. My mother says-"

"Don't…" he cut Nathan off, barely containing himself from saying something he would have regretted later. He growled in frustration. "Leave," he said between gritted teeth.

Nathan seemed as if he wanted to say something else, but then he decided against it. He shook his head and turning to leave as he'd been told, muttering things like 'stubborn man' and 'shouldn't be alone' under his breath.

Severus wanted to tell the boy that he was the cause of his problems, he wanted to tell him his mother was the cause of his anger, but he didn't. Hermione had asked him what he had told Nathan, and though he had told his son nothing, at that moment, he felt like telling the boy he was his father and that he didn't want anything to do with him.

He took the papers he'd come to retrieve and walked out the classroom. No more thinking about the infuriating boy, or his delusional mother. For now, he added reluctantly.

Nathan walked quickly out of the dungeons after leaving the rude professor to brood alone. He could drop dead in that cold classroom for all Nathan cared. He was tired of Professor Snape's sharp tongue - tired of being told to leave, to be quiet - when all he wanted was to help.

He stalked his way to Gryffindor Tower, wondering about the infuriating wizard. It didn't matter what his mother had told about the man, or if the professor knew who his father was; he just wouldn't take this anymore. Professor Snape wouldn't be the first or the last person that knew his father's identity. There would be others, and one would be willing to share the information so he wouldn't have to struggle with the likes of Professor Snape. Screw the man!

"Watch where you're going," warned Lupin, after almost being knocked down by Nathan.

"I'm sorry, sir," said Nathan.

"Where are you going like this?" Lupin asked. "Or better yet, where are you coming from?"

"I was in the dungeons with Professor Snape, but now I'm going back to the common room, sir," he answered.

Lupin watched him closely in an odd way. "Try to slow down before you hurt someone, Nathan," his Head of House suggested.

Nathan nodded and started to walk again, unaware of the Defense professor observing him, curiously narrowing his eyes.

Sunday at lunch, Hermione entered the Great Hall accompanied by Minerva. She had Flooed to Hogwarts after contacting the Headmistress that morning. She had used the pretence of discussing the new position Harry's research put her in to discover how things were at the school.

She didn't think anyone other than Minerva knew she was there, and her assumptions were confirmed by the look of hatred that Severus was directing to her from the Head Table, and those of surprise from the other teachers.

"Hey, Nathan, isn't that your mother with the Headmistress?" asked Kevin, who was sitting facing the side entrance from where the witches had entered.

Nathan turned in his seat to see his mother with Professor McGonagall and frowned. "Yes, that's her," he said, still observing the witches. Hermione waved and Nathan arched a questioning eyebrow. She smiled, so he relaxed and smiled back. "She must be visiting with the Headmistress," he added to his friends, but was still surprised with his mother's unannounced presence.

Hermione sat by Minerva's side, and the older witch separated her from Severus. "How are you, Severus?" Minerva greeted the visibly annoyed man at her other side. "You were missed at breakfast."

"I can imagine," he answered in his sarcasm, not offering much more and making it quite clear he wasn't in the mood for small talk.

Hermione observed Severus trying to discern if this was a good or a bad sign. "Hello, Professor Snape," she greeted, testing him.

He shot her a glare, nodded reluctantly, and went back to his meal. When Hermione had served herself, she heard him say, "What brings you to Hogwarts, Miss Granger? I don't think your reckless son is in need of your presence; he doesn't seem sick or injured to me." She didn't miss the tone in his voice or the smirk on his face.

"No, he doesn't. I'm here for other reasons," she answered, and he dispensed her a sideways glance.

"Oh, since you brought the subject up, Severus. I want to call a meeting this afternoon to address the faculty concerning Hermione's presence in the school," McGonagall said. Then, turning to Hermione, she added, "if that's all right with you, my dear."

"Sure, Minerva, that would be wise. I don't want anyone thinking I'm here for the wrong reasons," Hermione said, looking at Snape.

He nodded to the Headmistress and left his seat, exiting the Great Hall. Hermione sighed. "Will he ever change?" she asked aloud in a rhetorical way.

"I hope so," Minerva answered.

After lunch, Hermione was greeted by most of the faculty. She was talking with Lupin when Nathan approached the Head Table. "Hello, Professor Lupin," he greeted. "Mum. What are you doing here?"

"Come here, Nathan, I want to give you a hug," she said, gesturing him to come to where she stood.

"Mum," Nathan said in a low voice, "I don't think you need to hug me in the Great Hall." He was glaring at her.

She just smiled at him. "All right, I won't hug you. Just come up here. I want to talk to you. Can we talk in the Great Hall?" she asked, teasing him.

Nathan smirked, "I guess talking is fine." He climbed the platform where the Head Table stood and went to her.

"I'll leave you two alone," Lupin said, smiling, "I'm sure you have a lot talk about."

"I hope he's not giving you a bad time, Remus," Hermione said.

"No more than you ever did," he answered with another smile. "I'll see you at the meeting." He nodded goodbye and left mother and son to talk.

"You didn't have to say that to Professor Lupin," Nathan admonished, "and what meeting was he talking about?"

"I'll be working in a project here at Hogwarts. Harry asked me to research a potion and I said I would. Now, what's new with you? Any new detentions I should know about?"

"No," he answered quickly, "So, will you be spending time here from now on?" he asked.

"Only Fridays and weekends," she answered, eyeing him suspiciously. "Do you have something to tell me, Nathan?"

He arched an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

"I don't know. You tell me."

"Mum, I haven't done anything wrong since the Forest incident, and you know I'm being punished already," he answered, annoyed.

"Yes, and how is detention with Professor Snape?" she asked, in what she hoped was a nonchalant tone.

"Okay for detentions, I guess," he answered with a shrug.

"What kind of things do you do?"

"Lines, scrubbing cauldrons, preparing ingredients," he said dismissively.

"He asked you to prepare ingredients?" she asked, surprised. Snape was famous for his detentions and Hermione knew what kind of nasty tasks he used to designate his unfortunate students, but she never heard of a first-year who had been asked to prepare ingredients.

"Yes. Frogs. He taught me how to remove the eyes and all," Nathan added, his eyes shining.

"He taught you?" Now she was dumbfounded. She knew Nathan was as talented in Potions as he was in Muggle Chemistry, but for Snape to acknowledge that… She didn't know what to make of it, until something else crossed her mind, "What do you talk about during detention?"

"Nothing," Nathan answered, too quickly, in Hermione's opinion.

"So, what are your plans for today?" Hermione changed subject, deciding not to push Nathan on the matter. She could see there was more to these detentions than Nathan was willing to admit. She would have to talk with Severus.

The meeting with Hogwarts' staff was proving enjoyable, Hermione thought. Everyone seemed happy to have her back at Hogwarts… everyone but the brooding wizard in black, of course, who was staring blankly at the fire burning in the hearth.

Minerva called the meeting to an end and all those present started to leave their seats, welcoming her and enjoying cheerful conversation, all but Snape. He had left his seat and was heading to the door of the Headmistress' office, so Hermione called after him, "Professor Snape!"

He ignored her call and left, but she followed him. He was down in the corridors when she called again, "Professor Snape!"

He turned this time, still wearing that impassive expression. She approached him. "We need to talk."

"I don't think so."

"You left without answering my last question," she said, "What did you tell him?" It was as much as she would risk in such a public place.

He pinched the bridge of his nose between those long fingers and sighed. "Isn't it enough that you'll be here every week to torment me? I want nothing to do with him. Now, leave me alone," he said and turned from her to continue his way to the dungeons.

She followed him. "So, you didn't tell him?" she stated with a questioning tone.

"What part of 'leave me alone' don't you understand, Granger?" he said, visibly annoyed.

She kept up with him. "If you don't want me to follow you all the way to your dungeons, answer me!"

He ignored her and she followed him. Some corridors later, he stopped and glared at her. "Answer me!" she demanded again

"Why don't you ask him? Afraid of what you'll hear?" He was smirking now.

Oh, how she hated when they smirked like that - he and Nathan.

"I know something has been going on during those detentions," she accused him with a pointed finger, "and I won't give up until I find out. As you so wisely pointed out, I'll be here every week and we'll have all the time in the world to talk about it."

She turned from him and stalked away.