"The FBI caught senpai for being a lolicon, poor senpai, I told you not to touch those lolis..."
"Oh, my poor little brother is being judged like a criminal… my cute and pitiful little brother…come and let Onee-san hug you"
"Hey Listen! Jail is just another room, now go desecrate more lolis!"
"Will we have a prison bow?"
I sighed internally. – "Stop saying stupid things, I have a hangover"
It's only noon and I'm already in an annoying situation.
My desire for cheap booze made me wander the city and so I got involved in a generic action movie situation.
A man with bullet-proof skin was causing chaos in a high-class restaurant, apparently, the idiot tried to force a beautiful woman to marry him.
Things escalated when a boy managed to punch the asshole out into the street, but the man got up and punched the boy.
Then the police came and threatened him to stop, but the bullets couldn't bring him down.
Things got tense when the jerk grabbed a policewoman and threatened to kill her if they didn't leave him alone, it even seemed like the jerk would rape the woman on the spot.
The boy who should be a protagonist was about to face the idiot with super strength, but at that moment a drunken idiot in martial arts clothes appeared.
While my attention was clouded with drunkenness, I allowed my body to be influenced by my plot armors and thus came to a leading man stage.
The brawny idiot tried to hit me from the plot armor effect and my body reacted instinctively.
First I grabbed his arm and twisted him until all his bones broke up to his shoulder, the pain made the idiot drop the policewoman to which I smiled at her to calm down similar to a father reassuring his daughter.
The idiot's screaming annoyed me so I kicked his knee which almost ripped his leg off, then hit his head to damage his brain and put him in a coma.
After turning the idiot into a vegetable, I ignored the cops and went into the restaurant to get something to eat until my drunkenness wore off.
The policemen were very scared since I easily destroyed the limbs of a bullet-immune monster, but they calmed down upon seeing my friendly attitude and I was even willing to accompany them to the police station in exchange for twenty hamburgers.
Now I'm in an interrogation room, but instead of being treated like a criminal, I'm sitting comfortably while eating hamburgers.
By the way, the protagonist left disappointed at not being able to show off as a hero, he even saw me with hostility for stealing the spotlight from him.
Idiot.
Anyway, since I used pure physical strength and martial arts I didn't break supernatural laws, but that doesn't change that I almost killed a person in a public area.
In fact, Monika confirmed that the video where I hit the idiot is going viral on the internet and now I am a very popular martial arts master on social media...
Society is stupid.
The police do not know what to do with me since I helped them and they are grateful for what I did, but at the same time, they are worried that such a strong individual is wandering around the city even though there is no record of my identity.
Since I introduced myself as Harem King now the policemen think I'm an idiot with too much force which is dangerous, but they don't have the courage to try to arrest me for fear that I might become hostile.
The head of the police department called his superiors since he didn't know what to do with me, now they are just waiting for a government representative to come.
When I finished the last hamburger, a beautiful woman entered the interrogation room, she is the police that I helped.
Now that I'm not drunk I realize that she looks familiar to me.
[Name: Cai Yan
Origin: My Wife is a Beautiful CEO
Categories: Woman. Secondary heroine. Policeman. Yang Chen's Harem (Spoiler)]
I see, she is the twin sister of the woman who spoke to me after I hit the reincarnation of Hades… I'm not surprised.
"You need something? A drink or something else?" – The woman asked me a bit aggressively to hide how embarrassed she felt.
"You can capture the hearts of jade-skinned beauties even though you currently have such a normal face that it's boring" – Nyaruko was eating snacks. – "Good, your protagonist's Dao transcends the heavens and all that bullshit~"
"Hey, don't make fun of the Dao" – System Goddess frowned.
BB smiled. – "Everything is Dao so the Dao is also bullshit"
"…" – System Goddess decided to open her system screen to work and ignore the other women in my head.
"Heh, you're weak, you lack hate" – Nyaruko sneered.
"You need to cultivate a strong mind~" – BB was having fun.
I ignored the voices that only I can hear and smiled at the policewoman. – "Being able to talk to such a beautiful woman is what I need most, although I would appreciate a glass of water"
Cai Yan blushed slightly. – "I-I w-will bring you water"
The woman fled to fetch water.
I sighed internally, this is so easy it's boring.
After a couple of seconds, a woman entered the interrogation room, she was not the police Cai Yan but her twin Cai Ning.
The woman had seen her sister's behavior and seemed to have complex feelings since it was obvious that that simple-minded woman had a crush on me.
I pretended not to notice her conflicted feelings and greeted her innocently like a child seeing her first girlfriend. – "Hello, I am glad to see you"
Cai Ning smiled softly, it was not an act but a true smile of gratitude since I protected her sister.
"I've been waiting for your call, but it seems you didn't want to see me" – Cai Ning sat in front of me with a slight smile to make me see that she was not mad at me. – "It seems that you were busy saving damsels in distress, by the way, I see it seems that your presence decreased"
Her attitude is similar to an elementary school teacher admonishing a naughty child, she really thinks I have the brain of a brat.
I showed a guilty expression. – "I had not realized that my presence scared people so I am repressing my cultivation, and well, I am sorry, I did not have time to call you"
Cai Ning smiled gently. – "Don't worry, I really thank you, the woman you helped is my younger sister so I am eternally grateful for what you did"
"You are sisters?" – I acted like a clueless idiot. – "Now that I see you, it is true that they are similar…"
Cai Ning gave a small smile as if she found my stupidity adorable.
I want to throw up…
I smiled slightly. – "Actually I wanted to look for something to eat since last night I stayed up drinking… I was depressed after the person I fought with escape at the best moment of the fight… It is sad not to find strong rivals…"
Cai Ning's eyes sharpened for a second. – "Did you fight someone strong?"
For me to describe someone as a strong opponent means great danger considering how easily I beat Yang Chen.
I sighed like a child depressed over losing a toy. – "Last night I felt the presence of a strong entity so I went to investigate and found a very interesting woman… We fought a bit and she ran away after we exchanged a couple of blows even though I just wanted a friendly fight…"
Cai Ning swallowed hard and did her best to remain calm. – "Do you know the name of that woman?"
I held my chin as if trying to remember. – "I have no idea, but she said she was the black goat with a thousand young or something like that"
"Shub…" – Cai Ning closed her mouth tightly, she almost said a name that shouldn't be mentioned out loud.
People who believe that the Outer Gods are fictitious beings can say those names safely, but those who know of the existence of these beings must not say their names aloud or risk becoming infected with Madness, only people with strong mental and spiritual defenses can say the names safely.
Last night, BB made modifications to make Gogh's energy look like Shub-Niggurath's energy while Aotian's energy was left unrecorded.
The stage was left as if a powerful but unknown cultivator had fought against Shub-Niggurath.
Although Gaia is a strong world, it has been visited by some Old Ones and Outer Gods throughout history.
BB came at the beginning of the Age of Humanity to steal character records from the Fate series, then sold the character records to other entities and because of that some Ancient Ones and Outer Gods look like characters from that franchise.
Shub-Niggurath came before the Middle Ages to learn the origin of her appearance. She had orgies that started some evil cults that worshiped sex and pleasure, in fact, the secret archives of the Vatican have her registered as a greater danger than Satan, especially since some of those cults still exist.
Abby arrived shortly after Shub-Niggurath and shared some of her knowledge with the humans, but this started the witch hunt.
Shub-Niggurath and Yog-Sothoth were the cause of obscurantism.
At that time Alaya sent her main forces to eradicate the invaders so they had to leave the World, that is how a little of Abby's blood remained in this World.
In modern times the last sighting of a bearer of Madness was the arrival of Cthulhu in Japan fifteen years ago.
Unfortunately for the octopus, BB didn't tell him that Alaya had developed countermeasures to deal with the Old Ones and Outer Gods so the octopus was sealed in Mount Fuji.
"I-I see…" – Cai Ning managed to regain her composure a bit, although her face is pale.
The Outer Gods may not seem like much since they're just loud girls from my perspective, but each one of them has caused so much destruction and suffering that they can be considered the most terrifying creatures in the multiverse.
Even the most innocent girl, Abby, has destroyed so many Worlds that she lost count.
"Are you fine?" – I showed concern while my voice was gentle which helped Cai Ning relax.
Due to the plot armor and the strength I have displayed she feels safe around me.
"You mentioned that you fought with that woman and she escaped…" – Cai Ning she stared at me as if she wanted to check if I'm just talking nonsense.
I nodded with a disappointed expression. – "I formed a pocket dimension so as not to harm the city and then we fought, but she escaped at the first opportunity…"
Cai Ning had a mix of disbelief, excitement, amazement, and terror.
Although it was hard to believe that a single person could fight an Outer God, she tried to believe me.
Although information about Shub-Niggurath had been leaked to other organizations, information about the pocket dimension remained unknown.
Added to that is the fact that it was a cultivator who fought against the Outer God and although prestige is important for a cultivator, no sect would dare to lie about it for fear of antagonizing Shub-Niggurath or the cultivator who faced her.
Cai Ning thought of many possibilities and scenarios, but since her processing speed is still that of a human, it took her long enough for her sister to return with a bottle of water.
The door opened and Cai Yan walked in with a cheerful attitude. – "There were no glasses so I brought a bottle… Huh? Sister?"
Cai Ning snapped out of her thoughts upon hearing her sister's voice, but she is a professional agent so she just smiled kindly. – "Hello Yan, I came to visit my friend"
"Do you two know each other?" – Cai Yan looked at me with slight anger out of jealousy.
I nodded like an idiot who can't read the environment. – "Yesterday we met after I went to a bar"
"…" – Cai Yan squeezed the bottle and almost broke it.
Considering that Cai Ning is a special agent of supernatural forces then Cai Yan must not know the identity of her sister since she is an airhead and she can spill classified information by accident.
"I had a conflict with a stalker and King helped me" – Cai Ning spoke calmly.
King… God, I want to die.
"Hey Listen! She already calls you king, now let her call you daddy!"
… Dammit.
"Was that guy stalking you?" - I frowned like an angry child. – "I should have hit him harder"
Cai Ning couldn't hold back the wry smile, Yang Chen is still unconscious and will only wake up tomorrow.
According to the space marks, that idiot must be at the bar while Rose takes care of him.
Come to think of it, maybe my thoughts were influenced by my mindset of destroying potential dangers so I thought I'd go to the ROSE bar to assassinate Yang Chen.
That would have been a problem because of Zeus and U-Olga, plus it might draw Alaya's unnecessary attention… How troublesome.
Cai Yan sighed in relief and stopped torturing the innocent water bottle. - "I see…"
"Are you glad your sister is being bullied?" – Cai Ning feigned anger just to annoy her sister.
"Nothing of that!" - Cai Yan raised her hands in panic. – "Describe that idiot to look for him, I will castrate him with kicks!"
I'm starting to like this girl.
Cai Ning shook her head. – "Yan, watch your language and behavior or you will not find a boyfriend"
"…" – Cai Yan looked down in embarrassment as she gave me subtle glances.
I smiled. – "What's wrong with hitting an idiot? If someone is looking for trouble then it's his own fault even if he gets killed"
Cai Yan smiled and nodded. – "Look sister, King agrees with me!"
Ugh, King… I know it's my fault, but it's still disgusting.
"You two…" - Cai Ning sighed as if she saw two troublesome children.
I feel sorry for her, I know what it's like to have to take care of a troublesome sister.
The quiet moment was interrupted when a policeman entered the interrogation room.
"Sorry ladies, but someone wants to see the…. Um, guest? – The police did not know how to classify me.
I smiled and stood up. – "Let's talk later, I want to see who wants to see me"
Cai Ning looked at me wryly as if she considered me an attention deficit child unable to sit still, although she also has no way to stop me if I want to leave.
There may be powerful entities in China, but so far I have shown good behavior and possibly the government has already started devising plans to control me since Seiji's appearance created a need to cultivate talented youngsters to replace the old guardians.
Cai Yan sighed and handed the bottle to me. – "I still have to thank you, then let me buy you something to eat"
I smiled. – "Of course, it's a date"
"D-Date" – Cai Yan blushed and ran away.
The policeman looked at me with a mixture of admiration and jealousy. It seems that Cai Yan is quite popular.
I accompanied the policeman to see who wanted to see me.
Cai Ning was looking to confirm my location for the military so there are two options, the person looking for me is a government representative or someone with influence outside of the official government.
Considering the policeman's calm demeanor, it is possible that he is financially important, but has no control over the police. That rules out the great families.
I was taken to a private waiting room where there was a beautiful mature woman who suits my tastes quite well.
If I'm not mistaken, the idiot I put in a coma wanted this woman to be his wife.
[Name: Tang Wan
Origin: My Wife is a Beautiful CEO
Categories: Woman. Secondary heroine. Milf. Businesswoman. Tragic heroine. Virgin. Yang Chen's Harem (Spoiler)]
Incredible, a virgin mother, the fantasies of the authors no longer surprise me.
I smiled like an idiot child who fell in love at first sight.
Tang Wan seemed used to lustful looks, but she seemed to like that my look was more like a child's crush rather than carnal lust.
"Thank you for what you did, I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't shown up" - Tang Wan bowed politely which showed a bit of her cleavage, she did it on purpose.
"Tch, another bitch" – Chiyo was upset.
She doesn't seem like a seductive woman looking for sexual pleasure, but she is the model of a cunning woman who knows how to use her charms to obtain benefits, although considering that she is a virgin then she must be the kind of woman who knows how to use words to manipulate others.
Come to think of it, I think Lin Ruoxi mentioned this woman's name...
Well, I don't care, she's a sexy mature woman, that's all that matters.
I scratched my cheek awkwardly. – "You don't have to thank me, I just came by chance"
Tang Wan looked at me gently while making sure to read my expressions for hypocrisy or lies.
She reminds me of Yuriko, but more depressing.
"I was very scared by what happened" – Tang Wan sighed like a tragic maiden, although in reality, she was scared. – "My bodyguards could not stop that man for which I am really grateful…"
The protagonist's actions were forgotten...
Now I understood what this woman wants, a strong bodyguard that she can trust.
Tang Wan seems to be in trouble and she needs someone strong to protect her, but considering her appearance and her luxurious clothes it is clear that she cannot entrust her safety to just anyone.
From my work in the yakuza, I know the bodyguard agencies are not always trustworthy as a rival can bribe the agency to betray the employer.
It is best to train your own bodyguards, but that takes time and resources.
I showed concern for her words but didn't say anything as if I didn't know how to comfort her.
Tang Wan was a bit pleased by my attitude since it is clear that I am easy to manipulate, but she has not offered me a job directly since she first wants to establish a friendship with me since rushing things is counterproductive.
"I really appreciate your help and I wanted to tell you in person" – Tan Wan smiled with a slight trace of redness that increased her charm, then she took out a business card to give it to me. – "If at any time you need something, please do not hesitate to look for me…"
When I received the card she made subtle physical contact with me, it seems she chose to use the style of an innocent maiden.
I accepted the card with a big smile, then acted like I was thinking about something, and finally reached into my pocket to pull out a jade bracelet that looked like an antique.
Tang Wan seemed surprised by the bracelet as it looked like something that would be in a museum as a national relic.
With an innocent smile, I handed over the bracelet. – "As long as you use this you do not need to be afraid, you will be safe"
Tang Wan accepted the bracelet, but she only seemed to see the economic value of it, she doesn't seem to know about the supernatural world, or if she does then she doesn't have the knowledge to evaluate cultivation artifacts.
This bracelet is different from the artifact I gave to Rosy or An Xin, this artifact uses the principles of chance and luck to avoid deadly attacks, but it can't avoid attacks from a Higher Entity or a powerful supernatural entity.
It's trash in the larger context, but it's a valuable treasure in human society since it's possible to survive a bombardment with this, plus, this thing doesn't use spiritual energy so it doesn't break the rules of the supernatural world.
I love loopholes…
"It seems that you don't know what it is" - I smiled with amusement. – "Look, put it on"
Tang Wan put it on as she appreciated the design.
I took a throwing knife out of my pocket and smiled.
Tan Wan paled when I threw the knife at her face, but she was surprised when the knife unnaturally changed its trajectory and stabbed into the wall.
"Human weapons can not hurt you" - I smiled. – "Although I heard about something called an atomic bomb and I don't think this can protect you from that kind of weapon… Just avoid those bombs and you'll be fine"
Tang Wan looked at me blankly, she was a little angry that I attacked her without warning, but she was also amazed at the effects of the bracelet.
"Thank you for this gift" - Tang Wan bowed.
This time there was not only gratitude in her voice, but also respect, curiosity, and a little fear.
Curiously, her fear did not make her want to get away from me, on the contrary, the mixture of curiosity and fear made her want to meet me to explore my secrets.
"For now I have to go, I have some business to attend to" - I sighed slightly and then smiled warmly. – "If you are in danger, that bracelet will alert me and I will help you so do not worry, I will make sure you are safe"
Tang Wan maintained the respectful bow. – "I have received a lot of your help, is there anything you need from me?"
"Hey Listen! A threesome with her daughter!"
…..Only if she is 16 and up.
"Come on senpai, say a cliche dialogue! Prove that you are a generic system user with no personality! You can do it Harem King!"
…. I want to throw up…
I suppressed my nausea and smiled. – "Would you have a date with me? Yesterday I arrived in the city and it would be wonderful if such a beautiful woman shows me around"
"Congratulations senpai, you lost 100 points in your intelligence stat! If you lose another 100 you will officially be a fanfic protagonist!"
…
Tang Wan looked up and smiled kindly at me. – "I would love to be your guide around the city"
Maybe I lost my non-existent dignity, but I got a date with a sexy Milf so it was worth it.
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