Self-proclaimed
Sitting alone in the hotel room, I had a simple breakfast before me: two fried eggs, a hotdog, and some crispy bacon. As I ate, my mind was preoccupied with things to do.
My focus was on figuring out the best way to return home and reclaim my inheritance. It wasn't going to be easy. I knew my aunt and uncle wouldn't hand it over willingly; sometimes money matters more than family ties.
Oh yeah, family ties were a real treasure in my life, especially considering someone had even kindly poisoned me. So heading back there without proper preparation would be a suicidal move.
But hold up, a lightbulb suddenly flickered in my mind. I hastily dug into my bag to find that very bottle of water I'd guzzled down that fateful day.
I had nearly let this slip from my mind. It was crucial to confirm whether this water had truly been laced with poison or if my death was merely attributed to some pre-existing ailment.
Depending on the outcome, I would then decide the appropriate course of action against whoever had attempted to end my life.
Whoever was responsible, I was determined to make them deeply regret ever crossing paths with me.
The problem now was how to test the water for poison.
"Let's start by checking in on Discord and asking my virtual friends," I mused aloud.
Most of them are self-proclaimed experts, while others insist they're studying medicine. Truth be told, I'm not even sure if I should take their words seriously anymore. It's entirely possible that they're just like I used to be – scouring the internet for information and pretending they know what they're talking about.
I couldn't help but recall a time when I had posed as an expert in dating women. I presented myself as someone with a constant stream of romantic conquests, even buying into some questionable dating books so I can brag about my supposed strategies to get bitches.
The memory of the money I'd spent on those dubious manuals only fueled my irritation. After all, it seemed that the key to attracting women wasn't just confidence; having an appealing appearance and significant financial resources was the most essential – both of which I didn't possess.
I typed out a message on Discord:
Me: Hey, does anyone know how to test water for poison?
Responses began pouring in shortly after.
Dr.Stranger0513: I'm well-versed in testing water for poison.
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HentaiOne-chan: Not to brag, but I majored in chemistry during my college years. I even had the chance to do on-the-job training at an international pharmacy company.
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DemonicGod: I've got a medical degree and my own license. You'd be better off heeding my advice, my friend, rather than these self-proclaimed experts.
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As anticipated, the self-proclaimed experts were swift to reply.
Me: Kindly assist this humble soul, please.
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Dr.Stranger0513: You can determine if it's poisonous by its taste.
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DemonicGod: Are you out of your mind? Do you want him dead? No, don't follow his advice. You can test it by using it on a plant and seeing if it dies.
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HentaiOne-chan: No, you numskull, you can identify it by the smell. Poison has a distinct odor.
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Dr.Stranger0513: He's not some sort of poison-sniffing cultivator! How could he smell poison, for heaven's sake? Tasting it is a better option. He won't kick the bucket as long as he rinses his mouth afterward. Just don't swallow it.
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DemonicGod: I'm the doctor here, and all he needs to do is test it on a plant!
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HentaiOne-chan: Oh, come on, and wait for a whole month to get results? So much for your licensed. You can't even treat an amoeba with that pathetic IQ of yours. Hahaha, burn!
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The conversation took an amusing twist as the virtual self proclaimed experts engaged in a heated argument over the most effective method to detect poison in water.
"These guys," I couldn't help but sigh. What did I expect from them? I was about to close my PC when suddenly, a reply that actually made sense caught my attention.
Innocent: You won't believe it, but us humans and lab rats actually share a crazy high percentage of DNA stuff. It's like we're long-lost genetic cousins! And get this, sometimes what they figure out with lab rats can kinda give us a clue about how things might work for us.
One trick they do is this water test thing. They give a lab rat a tiny sip of water that might be poisoned. If the rat freaks out, gets sick, or worse, it's like a red flag for poison. But hold up, this isn't some DIY stuff. You'd need a real expert to read the rat's signals. Still, way safer than tasting or smelling the water yourself, right?
Innocent? The name on Discord sounded unfamiliar to me. This guy must be a newcomer to the server. Regardless, his explanation actually made sense. The way he presented it was quite straightforward and easy to understand.
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Me: Thank you for your explanation. By the way, where do you think I can find a lab rat?
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Innocent You're welcome! Getting a lab rat might not be so simple. These rats are usually bred and raised in specific research settings. Finding one for a single test could be quite challenging.
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Me: Can I use normal rats?
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Innocent: You know, regular rats and lab rats might seem kinda similar, but they're actually pretty different. Lab rats are like the fancy, specially-bred ones with all the right genes in a super-controlled environment. That's what makes experiments so precise. But if you're dealing with some seriously powerful poison, your everyday rat might still freak out and react big time.
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Me: Thank you very much.
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Innocent: NP
This guy is really helpful. Let me express my gratitude with a little gift.
[Gift Nitro]
That's settled then. If we're considering its potency, the poison would have to be really strong to have killed me within seconds of consumption. This guy truly knows his stuff.
With a plan in mind, my next step was to locate a rat for testing.
Hunting one down myself would be a hassle, so I decided it would be more convenient to purchase one online. In today's online world, I was confident that for the right price, I could easily find someone selling rats.