Sakura's Bizarre Adventure

Ding! It has been detected that the Host has lowered their rating for the 'Let's Aim to Become the Best Kunoichi, Kyuun~♥ Breast Flow System' to one star out of five on the App Store. Would the Host like to swap to a different System?

Sakura groaned— her head felt stuffy, and her body felt incredibly heavy and unresponsive, as if she were trying to swim through mochi. She could vaguely sense that she was lying on her back, on something hard and cold. She tried moving her neck to look at her surroundings, but she couldn't see much past the huge globes sitting on her chest, slopping slightly to the sides.

Why… couldn't… she… think… straight…?

Beep! A new System has been selected for the Host: The Body Positivity System! Randomizing origin… randomizing… Ding! The Host's new identity is: Akimichi Sakura!

"Whaaa…?" Sakura said, slurring her words. "When… how…?"

Ding! The Body Positivity System issues rewards to the Host for gaining weight, perfect for the Akimichi clan's Hiden Jutsu! Congratulations to the Host for obtaining the newbie gift package: a three hundred (300) kilogram weight gain!

"No," Sakura mumbled, as she desperately tried to wriggle her body. "I don't want…"

The immense weight of her chest pushing down on her ribcage seemed to increase, and Sakura screamed— she was growing too fat to move!

…

Sakura's eyes flew open, awakening from her nightmare with a start.

She tentatively attempted to sit up, only to discover that she couldn't move her body, though she found that she could still slightly move her head. She craned her neck, inspecting her body and noting, much to her relief, that her flabby arms and her monstrous, pendulous breasts had returned to their normal states— slender and slightly less massive, respectively.

Thankfully, it had only been a bad dream…

What was not a dream, however, was Sakura's current situation.

She couldn't knead or summon any of her chakra, and for some reason, she had been strapped to a stone table, trussed up in a tortoise shell rope bondage… for some reason. There wasn't much information that could be gleaned from her surroundings, either— she had very clearly been imprisoned in someone's basement, and there was also this subtle sulphurous odour floating in the air…

'That explains the weird nightmare,' said Inner Sakura. 'The ropes wouldn't let us move…'

Sakura tried remembering the last thing she'd been up to before ending up in this mystifying situation. She'd been running in the darkness— and she was fairly sure that she had crossed the border into the Land of Hot Water.

To avoid tripping over tree roots in the dark, and to avoid leaving a scent trail and footprints that could be used by Jiraiya to track her down, Sakura had begun her solo journey by travelling over a river.

Unfortunately, she overestimated her capacity to maintain her water-walking abilities in a sleep-deprived state and without being able to see where she was putting her feet, so after a while, her concentration had faltered and she had fallen into the icy waters…

"That's right," Sakura said to herself out loud. "It was freezing cold, and my military rations got ruined when I fell into the water…"

She had then followed the lights flickering in the darkness of the night, and she had stumbled through an inn's doorstep. She had ordered a hot meal to fill her belly, but…

'The food was drugged,' said Inner Sakura in despair. 'We haven't even entered the Land of Lightning yet, and we already got captured by the weakest Hidden Village ever!'

Yugakure, the Village Hidden in Hot Water, was this land's shinobi village. However, due to the Land of Hot Water's booming tourism sector, the village had transitioned away from 'war as a business' and fully embraced the JSDF lifestyle of purely defending its homeland (and the many tourists flocking to its hot springs).

"No, this doesn't make any sense," said Sakura, thinking out loud. "If official shinobi had captured us, we'd be in a holding cell, not what looks like someone's basement. And I don't think they'd be using tortoise shell bondage to hold us…"

This wasn't a sex dungeon kind of thing, was it?

At any rate, Sakura was glad to have read her original body's notes on escaping from manacles and rope bindings. Thankfully, she wouldn't have to dislocate her thumbs to escape this kind of amateurish ropework…

Sakura immediately began untying herself, but a few minutes after she'd started working on the ropes, she heard the sound of footsteps coming down the creaky wooden stairs. Someone— no, two someones were coming!

"…compensate for our losses," came a woman's voice, which gradually became clearer as she descended the stairs. "A child bride running away from an arranged marriage, I think. She was completely drenched and shivering when she turned up on my doorstep in the middle of the night."

Before crossing the border, Sakura had sealed away her shinobi gear in order to pass as a civilian; to avoid implicating the Hidden Leaf in case she got caught by enemies.

"Good, good," came a man's voice. "If she escaped in the middle of the night, then nobody's likely to come looking for her straight away."

Sakura inwardly blew a sigh of relief. If these people were just slave traders, then she would easily be able to escape, once she could feel her chakra again. Not to mention, she would be doing the world a good deed by beating them up!

"But I could have sworn I had drugged the other two women, Lord Ryūki," the woman complained. "The first one went out like a light, but the other one… By all rights, with the volume of soporific drug she imbibed along with her alcohol, she should have died ten times over…"

"I don't want to hear excuses, Koremitsu," the man named Ryūki snarled. "She brought an entire wing of the ryokan crashing down— we don't need the Yu-nin showing up on our doorstep again, do we?"

That confirmed it; they were criminals unaffiliated with Yugakure, which came as a relief to Sakura.

"The girl is a virgin, even though she doesn't look like the type to save herself for marriage," the woman added, her voice trembling. "She's of much higher quality than the other young girls we've taken so far; surely that will please you, Ryūki-dono?"

'Oi!' shouted Inner Sakura. 'Where exactly have you been putting your dirty hands, woman!?'

Hearing them coming closer, Sakura calmed her beating heart and closed her eyes, allowing her chest to rise and fall regularly as she breathed. The plan was to pretend to be still unconscious, but the moment her captors left the basement, she would escape and beat them up!

"Foolish woman!" screamed the man, and he slapped the woman hard across the cheek. "Such things do not matter— for all human sacrifices are equal before Jashin's eyes!"

Sakura's heart did a triple somersault in her chest.

'WHY!? Why did it have to be cultists?' Inner Sakura moaned. 'Why couldn't you just be perverts? Please, please just be regular perverts…!!'