Out of the Frying Pan

After her match, a medic-nin pulled Sakura aside into a corridor connected to the arena in order to give her a cursory checkup, seeing as she was dripping with blood from head to toe due to the numerous cuts she had received.

"I'm fine, really," Sakura argued, brushing away the white-clothed Iryō-nin attempting to examine her. "It's just a few cuts."

Each one of Kamatari's attacks had been imbued with wind chakra, so even though Sakura had dodged pretty much all of the primary damage coming from either the scythe or the claws, she had still taken some secondary damage from the slicing winds.

"Nonsense," the Iryō-nin said lecherously, his eyes flickering to Sakura's torn clothes, through which he could plainly see her jade-like skin peeking through. "I'm afraid I must insist upon a thorough… examination."

A shudder ran down Sakura's spine. She was about to refuse as emphatically as she could, when she received a cryptic message from the System, completely out of the blue:

Warning! Severe spatiotemporal distortion detected! The Host is advised to move away from their current location immediately!

"Come now," said the Iryō-nin good-naturedly. "This will only take a minute…"

Sakura unwillingly allowed herself to be dragged away; the bright rectangle of light at the end of the dimly lit corridor that was the doorway to the arena gradually grew smaller, as she moved away from the arena and further into the darkness…

"Through here," the Iryō-nin said, once they had crossed a set of double doors at the other end of the corridor. "A medical professional will be with you very soon."

The instant the medical ninja retreated back through the double doors, Sakura rounded on the System.

"That's the second time!" Sakura hissed. "Explain yourself; you barely help me with anything outside of your vaguely defined functions, so why in the world are you randomly telling me about space-time distortions!?"

Correction: The latest disturbance is the third that the System has detected. The first such event was recorded exactly two days after the Host's arrival in this world. The System offered a similar warning at that time, but since the Host was otherwise occupied, the warning went unacknowledged.

Sakura thought back to the early days of her transmigration; she had taken over Sakura's body the day after academy graduation day; the day after that had been Kakashi's bell test; and the day after that one had been Team Kakashi's first mission… Come to think of it, hadn't the System dinged at her repeatedly, while she'd been busy exploring her new body as a celebration for passing Kakashi's test?

(Chapter 12!)

"I vaguely remember something like that happening…?" Sakura said sheepishly. "Well, go ahead, then. Explain away."

It has become apparent that the Host's insertion into this timeline has caused a ripple effect. The Host's presence has introduced an infinite number of additional possible futures, causing the present situation to occur.

"What situation?" Sakura prompted the System. "Are you being obscure on purpose?"

It appears that someone close by is a regressor; someone who has travelled back down the river of time from one of these possible futures to the present. Until their identity can be confirmed, and their threat level and intentions can be assessed, the Host should refrain from drawing attention to themselves or cause dramatic changes to the canon timeline.

"You cannot be serious," said Sakura quietly.

Host?

"HOW EXACTLY AM I SUPPOSED TO AVOID DRAWING ATTENTION WITH THESE ATTACHED TO MY CHEST!?" Sakura screamed, grabbing onto her generous breasts with both hands and shaking them to illustrate her point.

Calculating… Granted, the Host's situation is not ideal, but…

"Body dysmorphia?" came a woman's voice from behind Sakura. "Not uncommon among young kunoichi."

Sakura whirled around, blanching; somebody had just caught her speaking to the System! Somehow, a woman dressed in a white lab coat had managed to sneak up behind her; was this the medical professional that the Iryō-nin had been referring to?

"Why don't we continue this in my office, Sakura-kun," the woman said pleasantly. "I've been looking forward to meeting you face to face for quite some time, now…"

Sakura winced slightly; there was still a faint ringing noise in her ears from the match she had just fought.

"Is something the matter?" the woman asked, sounding concerned.

Sakura shook her head; she was fine.

The woman turned on her heel and walked away at a brisk pace, so Sakura set off after her.

Come to think of it, how had the woman known her name? And the -kun suffix… that didn't sound like an honorific that a young woman like this doctor would use to refer to a younger girl like Sakura…

'She probably heard our match's results,' said Inner Sakura dizzily.

The muffled sounds of battle and cheering gradually faded away, replaced by a low buzzing sound in Sakura's ears, as the woman in the lab coat continued leading her away from the arena and farther into the depths of the tower. Just how far away was her office, anyway? Sakura had lost track of how long she'd been walking…

'Something's wrong,' Inner Sakura groaned.

Sakura suddenly stopped in her tracks, and not knowing quite why she was doing so, put her hands together in the seal of the tiger.

"Release!" Sakura shouted.

The world twisted around her, but instead of finding herself in the clean halls of the tower's hospital wing, Sakura was now seeing that she had somehow ended up in some kind of underground passageway, dimly lit by a series of torches mounted on metal sconces.

A Genjutsu!

Sakura immediately turned on her heel and bolted back the way she had come from, only to find a tall figure slowly rising out of the stone floor in front of her. Sakura skidded to a stop and looked behind her; the beautiful female doctor was nowhere to be seen. Instead, her figure had been replaced by a man's. Sakura was surrounded…

"I'm impressed," came a raspy voice from the darkness behind her. "Precious few can realize they've fallen under my Genjutsu's influence, let alone successfully escape from it…"

"Orochimaru," Sakura breathed.

Sakura's hands shot down to her waist, grasping at her sword's hilt, only to realize that she had left the Manyuu blade with Sasuke! She had no weapons; not even a single kunai to defend herself with!

Left with no other options, Sakura weaved a few hand signs, before taking in a deep breath…

"Fire Style: Great Fireball Jutsu!"

A ball of roaring flames the width of the passageway flew down the corridor; not even bothering to look at her handiwork, Sakura gathered chakra under her sandals and darted up the wall in the opposite direction, until she was running upside-down on the ceiling!

"SHANNAROOO!" Sakura cried, as she dropped from the ceiling, aiming an axe kick at Orochimaru's head!