45. Gaps in Memory

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...

Following Kyuubi's words, trying to understand him, it seems that his words are false, or... we mortals are insufficient.

Naruto is not the center of the world; in their family, Minato is definitely the strongest. They have the strongest people and doctors around them, yet they cannot control their Fate. They cannot hold everything in their hands, as the Bijuu said.

What strength is needed to oppose Fate? Even Kyuubi is locked away, so even the strongest being in the world cannot resist it.

You can try to find ways, delay the inevitable, but you cannot defy your destiny, your Fate.

Mortals, Gods, Immortals... It's all under the Heavens.

Naruto sighed heavily. At first, he tried to reject it all, thirsting for power, falling into madness to gain strength, and also trying to cure the curse. Then he began to understand, spending many days, weeks, and months in the library to gain vast knowledge. And now, slowly, he was accepting it, all of this surrounding reality. In truth, he could do nothing. The more you know, the more you realize you know nothing.

It was terrifying, but the deeper he understood it, the more peace he felt. In the end, he reconciled with his Fate. He no longer feared death.

In a few years, he will die, perhaps delaying it a bit more, but before his seventeenth year, he will no longer be in this world. His Ka-chan, too, has only a few short years left before they both move on to the other side of life.

Until then, Naruto wants to be worthy of being called a member of the Namikaze family. Perhaps he is a cripple, but for these few short years, he will help his siblings in their studies and try to lighten Minato's workload. He wants to live for his family, so they can be happy.

This way of thinking made Naruto feel fulfilled.

A few days after his conversation with Kyuubi, Naruto officially left the Research and Science Department. He was still welcome there and visited them to absorb new knowledge, but he no longer participated in any research and experiments. He asked his father if he could be his assistant or someone who could help him with something.

Since then, Naruto has been helping Minato with piles of paperwork or assisting him in some Hokage matters. Since he started doing this, he began to understand what state his Tou-san was really in. At home, he only showed his good side, but in his office, he wasn't himself; he was a shadow of himself.

Naruto's presence, spending time with him, and all these conversations, even the trivial ones, helped him a lot, not only in his work but also mentally. All that loneliness he felt before seemed to diminish when his son was around.

A few weeks after joining, Minato couldn't imagine his work without him anymore. It would be too boring and lonely, only now did he realize how he had lived so far. Therefore, Minato found new strength within himself to change his life for the better.

Although many people had tried to help him before, it was only Naruto who succeeded.

Slowly, it seemed like the Namikaze family was rebuilding...

...

Naruto suddenly woke up from his sleep in the middle of the night. He opened his bloodshot eyes violently and spat out a mouthful of blood, instinctively checking his body with his sensory perception and noticing changes in his aura. It was chaotic and incomprehensible for a moment before calming down and returning to normal. Everything else was unchanged, everything was fine.

Feeling a severe headache, Naruto grabbed his temples, massaging them gently. He felt like he had forgotten something, was it a dream maybe? He could swear he dreamt of something, but he couldn't remember. It made the whole situation even weirder.

Naruto doesn't forget. His brain wouldn't be able to...

Wouldn't be able to forget...

Wait...

Digging deeper into his state, Naruto noticed some gaps in his memory.

What did he do today...? What did he do for the past few weeks?

Naruto hissed, feeling the headache intensify as he contemplated it.

Maybe he's just tired, but he didn't really do anything strenuous. It was like a break, a relaxation. He only helped his father at work for half a day, and when Menma and Himiko finished their classes, he cooked them dinner and helped them with their studies and training.

He was immersed in routine since his conversation with Kyuubi. Since then, he hadn't done anything except support his family. He decided to be their support and wanted his parents to be proud of him; after all, that's all he could do. Since then, everything was kind of blurred. He couldn't remember many things from his daily routine.

Everything was happening too fast; the day passed like a few seconds in his mind, everything picked up pace and accelerated to an absurd degree. It seemed like he had just talked to Kyuubi a few days ago, maybe yesterday? And since then, many weeks have passed...

From the corner of his eye, Naruto noticed his hair falling onto his shoulders. He hadn't cut it for a long time, and it had become quite long and messy, but he noticed a problem; some strands were gray again. His golden color had also faded a bit.

Naruto sighed, collapsing on the bed.

Good thing he has tomorrow off. Or maybe today, it's probably already past midnight.

Trying to relax, Naruto remembered yesterday. Everything was as usual; the only difference in his routine was the family dinner at the restaurant.

Before that, he had met that strange old man from the Fire Temple. It was their fourth or fifth meeting in the last few months. That damn Monk wouldn't leave him alone and kept urging him to join him to the Fire Temple as his disciple.

Naruto usually engaged him in some interesting conversation, but he was running late that time and brushed him off pretty hard to make it to the family dinner on time.

He hopes he won't meet him again; he's annoyingly persistent, after all.

"I gave up, what...?" Naruto repeated his words.

...

"Oh, it's you... I almost didn't recognize you, my disciple...!" The strange old man appeared before Naruto again and squinted suspiciously at him.

In his gaze, Naruto changed drastically, and despite the same appearance, he was a different person.

"Grandpa, don't waste my time today, I'm rushing to a family dinner at the restaurant," Naruto announced and quickly tried to pass him.

But the Monk suddenly stood in his way and struck his fist into his open hand as a sign of enlightenment. "I understand now, you... you've given up!"

Wataridori glanced at Naruto with eyes full of disdain, a mocking smile on his lips.

Naruto grimaced. He bypassed the old man without wasting unnecessary time; he was already almost late. He didn't have time today for a chat with this old man.

Naruto passed by indifferently as Wataridori continued to look at him with a mocking smile.

"You always underestimate me..." Not slowing his pace, Naruto said, "I don't care about you, your Gift of the Hermit Group, or some Fire Temple, and especially your talk. It won't affect me."

Nevertheless, Naruto is too intelligent for any words to affect him or what he does. If someone close said it to him, maybe he would care, but a stranger means nothing to him. It's just a buzzing wasp near his ear.

As Naruto walked away, the old man shook his head in disappointment. What a waste...

...

Although Naruto shouldn't worry about it, something compelled him to return to that memory.

Kyuubi insulted him too. Even more deeply and profoundly, however, the words about surrendering didn't leave Naruto at peace.

Does it have a deeper meaning...? Naruto didn't want to find out. After all, he had accepted his Fate.

...

...

Himiko noticed that her older brother, Naruto, wasn't getting up for a long time, so she went to wake him up. They usually got up at the same time, and Naruto helped her prepare bento for the Academy for both her and Menma, as well as for their Tou-san.

Cooking and preparing meals were more fun than she expected. Of course, the best part was the satisfaction after eating their own food. Besides, she had fun with Naruto; they had been spending more time together lately than ever before.

Himiko entered his room without knocking and shook him hard. "Wake up, Onii-chan~! It's morning."

Naruto muttered something incomprehensible under his breath and turned to the side, his back to her.

"Ughh... Don't ignore me," Himiko felt offended by his actions.

"I'll get up in a moment, give me a minute..." Naruto groaned. It was probably the first time he didn't feel like getting out of bed; he usually had no problem with that.

"Fine, but just a minute...! I'll wait for you in the kitchen," Himiko declared, leaving him alone. However, if he's even a second late, she'll beat him up.

Naruto sighed. The throbbing headache didn't let him rest; he even felt it during sleep, which was quite annoying.

He ignored it and got up after a while, putting on his everyday clothes. Together with Himiko, as they did every morning, they prepared bento for both of them for the Academy, as well as a third one for Minato.

Today, Naruto would go to work with Minato, but he got the day off. He almost fainted at yesterday's dinner and nearly fell, so Minato decided to leave him at home today.

"Maybe I should clean the house...? Since Ka-chan ended up in the hospital, it hasn't been cleaned properly even once, except for wiping visible dirt," Naruto thought after everyone left the house. He now felt a bit like Ka-chan, dismissing all household members, and then taking care of the house.

He should also go to Tsunade later to have his condition checked. Although he didn't detect anything serious himself, maybe she'll find the cause of his memory gaps. He shouldn't ignore it; maybe he should go there right away, cleaning can wait...

At that moment, something clicked in Naruto's head, and he fell unconscious to the ground.

When he woke up, or rather, when he was able to consciously connect with the reality around him, Naruto was walking somewhere. He only stopped after a few steps, realizing he had just been at home.

In the next moments, he lost consciousness again, and he realized it only when he was on some hill.

"I'm losing my memory..." Naruto immediately realized. Why on earth was he moving somewhere in such a situation?

He quickly estimated the time by the position of the sun; it was already afternoon...! So, five hours have passed since the first loss of consciousness!

It would be best to know his own purpose of actions now. Naruto isn't stupid, and normally he wouldn't move anywhere in such a situation, but something must be going on for him to do something so dangerous. Maybe when he loses consciousness, he doesn't know about these memory gaps. It's also possible that something like this could have happened before, but he doesn't remember it.

Not knowing if this is the end of the game, Naruto lay down on the ground and dug a message next to him instructing him not to move.

Just finishing it, Naruto lost contact with reality again.

During this time, it seemed like he was dreaming. It was the same dream as before, but he didn't remember it.

Less than half an hour later, Naruto was on top of a steep hill. Being just a few steps from the cliff, Naruto wondered if he wanted to commit suicide. If he accidentally fell... he would surely be done for.

For some reason, he remembered how Itachi once told him that when he jumped from a steep hill and with only a few kunai, he managed to survive the fall by embedding them in the rocks and slowing down the fall.

He was only six years old then... Itachi is truly a monster...! Naruto doesn't know if he could do it again.

Looking down at his feet, Naruto saw an empty space hundreds of meters below, clouds obscuring a larger view.