Chapter 17: Seon-Ho

She looked at me thoughtfully for a while before answering me "well I can't remember myself before you brought me here in your arms..." I couldn't help but blush a little at that memory. "But I don't think I'm that different, to be honest. Maybe it was you who didn't know me well enough. Or maybe I hid it from you." That statement honestly took me by surprise...actually what shocked me more was how... antagonised it made me feel "oh really? What makes you say that" I couldn't help but sound a little bitter at that. She was going to reply when we heard my father make his way towards us. And just like that, the spell was broken between us; I jumped in the air in fear that he would do something to her if he found her in my room. I couldn't help but quickly stand up and shove her outside my room without thinking and I quickly tucked myself into bed. My heart was racing as I was praying under my breath that he wouldn't barge into my room and barks usual nonsensical orders.

He soon passed and before I even knew it, I snuck outside my room to find her. What she had said had left me completely agitated, and I know that I couldn't sleep until she told me what she meant. I walked outside in my nightwear and made my way to the kitchen, which was opposite Yeon's room. I was ready to make my way when I heard her voice coming from the other side of the large kitchen my father had. My heart lept again as I made my way to her, but I changed my mind when I saw her practically be bullied by one of my father's stupid servants...a girl who looked even younger than her. "Well well, you came out of the young master's room again late at night. Why do you even bother coming out? We all know what he's using you for." I was frozen on the spot, conflicted by guilt and anger. I cursed myself and the bad luck I brought to everyone around me, and my selfishness from trying to keep her close to me. I was going to walk away when I heard Yeon's cool reply that dared to give me hope. "Oh really? Ok then, I'll stay in his room next time" she said as easily as anything else, and I swore that I felt my heart trying to beat its way out of my chest. I looked over at them, and I couldn't help but snort at the face the servant had on her; it looked like Yeon had slapped her. "What? No..I...I'll tell his lordship what you've been up to..." "no, I don't think you will at all; because if that was your intention, then you would have done that from the start, instead of threatening me every chance you get. But if you want to do that, then you can go ahead" she tried to leave but the stupid servant stood in her way to stop her and actually pushed her into a table rather violently, but Yeon didn't even whimper. "Listen you ugly low-born epileptic bitch! I don't know where the hell you came from but you had better stop taking advantage of your situation! And stop wondering around here with noble clothes on, it's absolutely embarrassing!" "Oh really? Do you want to wear them instead? Is that why you constantly follow me everywhere, messing up my food & chores whenever you can? Why? Do you have that much free time on your hands? Or is it because you want to the only girl the young master looks at? Is that why some of my clothes have gone missing? And my cosmetics?" And before the servant could retaliate, Yeon did something completely out of the ordinary for her; she slapped the girl straight to the ground without hesitation. She got up to retaliate but before she could I held her arm midway before shaving her onto the ground again and taking Yeon's hand into mine and taking her to her room, my palms sweating nervously for once. I looked over to her and she just smiled back at me; completely unaware of what she had just done...and what she had done for me since the moment I brought her here; she was the very first person to stand up for me...to protect me, instead of abusing me. My feelings for her, which was constantly thinking about had now just intensified rather dramatically. I debated whether or not I should try to distance myself from her, for her sake but when she unexpectedly squeezed my hand in return, there was more debating.

"Goodnight then" she smiled sweetly at me as she tried to leave, but I grabbed her by her arm and dragged her out of sight of the bodyguards stationed outside her room. "What did you mean earlier? About hiding yourself from me?" I demanded, a little more exasperatedly than I meant to. She looked at me thoughtfully again before sitting me down and looked me in the eye with patience, again something I had never seen before. "It will be hard for you as a man to understand me, but try to keep up. When you introduced yourself to me and you told me my story, you didn't mention my mother at all. Which only tells me that she wasn't in my life growing up or she passed away. Either way, I didn't have a mother to teach me anything at all. And you didn't mention that I had any other female influences around me either. Actually, from what you described to me, it sounds like I was the only girl thrown into a world full of men, on top of me suffering from epileptic fits in public. And it sounds like I was anything but the type of woman that society looks to, so naturally, I must have hidden things from you whilst dealing with public pressure to fit in or try to be normal. Maybe I'm not as weak as you thought I was previously. Maybe this is who I really am...and my only issue was my epilepsy." She shrugged before wishing me good night again and made her way to her room. She left me in my seat, astonished and full of regret. If only I had understood her struggles a lot sooner instead of only focusing on her brother...we all know she liked me, but the thought that she couldn't trust me that much then really bothered me a lot. And at that moment...for the first time I was ceased with the desire to unload my every thought, my every emotion, and my every struggle to her; I knew she would provide me with the oxygen I so desperately craved for years if I did...she would help me...and I would do anything possess her for my own sanity, my own heart, and for all of the lives I would be reincarnated into.