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My teenage high school romance comedy can't be this perverted!

A oreigaru or snafu/DxD crossover featuring our infamous loner Hikigaya Hachiman who for unknown reasons was suddenly ripped from his reality and dropped into this foreign world filled with danger in every corner. And he needs to find a a way to deal with his new overly attached and attention-seeking 'friends'. I primarily focus on fanfiction.net, when a new chapter gets released or I have some important news, I'll most likely post it there first. I'll try to make things work here as well. Also don't forget to review and stuff, I want to know your thoughts on my story! And all chapters are between 2k - 4k words.

NimtheWriter · Anime und Comics
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93 Chs

Chapter 55: Big sister

Beta read by n1ch, Shigiya, Solitary heart and 8kagi

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-Land of Shadows-

I sat inside a random room in the gigantic castle, surrounded by stacks of books. All are filled with content on runes and their basic understanding. It spanned from how to use them for simple applications to large-scale destruction, like what Sétante used against me.

She forced me inside this room, locked me in without a way to escape… at least not until I managed to learn everything inside and fixed the barrier. That in itself was hard. I spent days reading nonstop and talking with Vritra on some of the more complicated runes. For some reason, I never felt hungry, thirsty, or even sleepy the entire time I stayed here. But that didn't stop the headache and sheer boredom from becoming my greatest challenge to overcome.

I dropped the book about fire runes, elementals, and the general history behind each rune and their meaning. Some are completely different from what I had initially thought and how a single rune could have multiple meanings with multiple uses.

"Ansuz." My hands made the same gesture, and I followed the steps shown in the books.

"..."

Yet nothing happened.

"Ansuz."

"..."

"Try again."

The voice of a woman came from behind me. I didn't get scared or startled like I used to do initially. She had done the same trick too many times to have any effect and familiarized me with her antics. I didn't answer her and just did as instructed. Pouring more of my magic into my fingers, making them glow with a slight purple hue.

"Ansuz!"

Poof

A small trail of smoke came off of my finger.

I sighed.

"Well, that sucked. I expected you would be one of those genius mages who could learn anything in a matter of hours, through the power of friendship or some other bullshit reason. You Sacred Gear users tend to be the same kind of… passion-driven people—especially the dragon ones. Compared to them, you're a bit tame, I gotta say. I guess I got the one that has to work harder than most."

Thank you for the lengthy description. I certainly felt better after hearing that.

"You must perform better, get your shit together, and speed up. That repair won't happen on its own."

"I'm trying, I really am… but I just can't seem to get it right."

I showed her by trying to use other basic runes, but some of them just glowed for a bit before disappearing. No effects, aside from some slight smoke and light. It happened so many times that I started to get discouraged.

"It's because you're putting too much thought and unnecessary calculation into it, boyo."

She came closer and sat beside me.

Being so close to the immortal witch, I could clearly see more of her features. Having red hair similar shade to Rias, a face that was pale and speckled with freckles with blue war paint covering her forehead, cheeks, jaw, and down her neck before going under her clothes, strong jawline, cheeks that lack baby fat, and emerald green eyes. A toned body that she didn't bother to hide with her revealing outfit, and many bracelet-like accessories on her wrists whose meaning I did not know of.

She always carried a wooden walking stick with her, which was actually a spear in disguise… a spear capable of being considered a god-killing tool was used by the witch to pick her teeth when she got bored or clean her nails.

'I even once saw her using it to scratch her back!'

How could that super sharp blade not cut through her skin with the slightest touch remained a mystery to me. Nearly getting stabbed again made me realize how ridiculously dangerous that weapon could be. I could barely hold out against it using my balance breaker form, as it was still able to pierce through it.

"Why am I even doing this? You could easily fix whatever damage I have done to your rune dome. Having a newbie like me do the repairs will be shoddy at best and temporary. It'll break soon in the future, and you'll just have to fix it on your own. Though I am grateful that you are teaching me runes and their application, I'm curious as to why your doing this.."

"..."

"Is it something you're not willing to tell me?" I asked, hoping she won't hit me for pushing the topic.

"Humph, nothing like that." she answered, giving me a nonchalant shrug. "You know, I previously planned to take in Sétante as my next disciple. He really did inherit his ancestor's looks and talent. The Churruid part of him could also have been considered a boon. Now that he's dead, you were the only replacement around. You're not my official disciple. I just got bored and wanted to waste some time."

"So, shouldn't you be pretty pissed at me and kill me for killing your future disciple?"

"Why would I?" her head tilted sideways, some of her hair resting on my shoulders while I purposely did not look her way as I would have seen the deep valley below her neck from bountiful chest. "He came at you with the intent to kill in the end and did, in fact, kill you. You just had your Sacred Gear save your ass once again and kill him instead. Both of you were prepared to die. I cannot blame you for the choices Sétante made, which led him to his death."

"I was trying to stop him from doing something stupid and killing those I care about."

I couldn't risk losing Akeno and everyone else in my current life.

"I can understand that… too bad the boy died. Since I wouldn't have minded spending a few rounds under the sheets like I did with good old Cu!" A lewd smile, very reminiscent of Akeno, spread across her face while giving me a look.

"Too much information!" I shouted, trying to put more distance between us.

Only to have the warrior-like brute grab me by the collar and hoist me close to her face.

"For a youngling, your face ain't too bad. A defined body with some handsome features here and there—though those eyes are a bit of a turndown at the moment. But I wouldn't mind several rounds in the sack~."

"..."

Was this woman serious? I did not want to deal with such a relationship now or ever, if possible, no matter how beautiful the woman was.

'I already have Akeno, and dealing with her would only create more trouble for me in the long run.'

"I have a girlfriend."

"I don't mind," she smirked, her smile getting lewder. "She can join us and make it a foursome."

Who the heck was the fourth member!?

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"Hahahaha!"

Scáthach burst into a peal of loud laughter.

Dropping me back and letting go of my sore cheeks.

"You're just too fun to mess with, boyo."

Her strong slaps on my back nearly broke my spine in the process. Yeah, a true brute. I didn't get that riled up, already becoming used to her craziness and teasing nature.

"Though that offer is open, you can visit my room anytime you feel pent up."

I wished we could move from the conversation because I already knew that she wasn't joking on the offer.

"Anyways, since you're having some issues with the runes, I have a way to help you out!" she announced with an excited grin which I didn't like one bit.

"No."

"It'll make you stronger in a single day!"

"And I'll probably end up dead by the end of it!"

As soon as I said that, I could feel a powerful impact on the back of my head before feeling the stone of the castle walls impact my face and break under my skin as the rest of my body followed.

She punched me.

That witch!

"Another life and death battle!" Scáthach announced aloud, my hazing mind barely catching her words.

Grabbing the walking cane, she twirled and transformed it into a red spear. Leaping from the hole through the wall, she brought the weapon down with battle lust in her eyes.

"You can only use runes to attack me! Anything else, and I'll cut off your balls!"

I just continued to fall with a resigned face. I should have accepted the previous deal… or maybe not.

"[Vajra Sacred Body!]"

Scáthach never mentioned anything about using spells to protect myself.

{Break}

-(Present)-

I felt the feeling of a freezing tundra sweeping over the room and making me freeze in fright. Like if I stood in front of a giant behemoth disguised as a mere sheep, a dragon acting like a garden snake, or a Maou dressed like a cute magical girl…

All of the above frightened me!

She reminded me of that crazy witch. Both felt they could crush me like a bug. While the latter just laughed at everything I threw at her, laughing at any pain or challenge I could muster up against her, a fun-loving woman who could be easy-going at times and batshit crazy at others.

"SO-TAN! ONEE-SAMA HAS COME TO KILL WHOEVER DARES TO STEAL MY LITTLE SISTER FROM ME!!!!!!"

This one sounded highly pissed and seemed ready to kill.

"O-Onee-sama! Th-This isn't what it looks like!" In a panicked state, Sona quickly tried to flip over the chessboard of the table. But…

Whoosh!

A wave of ice extended all over the room, freezing everything in an instant—except us. The hand of Sona, which was about to knock over the pieces, struck the solid blue chessboard where everything was frozen in place. This further pushed the girl into a panicked state and looked ready to hide as she tried to pull her hand out of her ice prison. She looked at me, lost, confused, and afraid.

And with good reason.

"Partner, look out!" Vritra's urgent voice sounded as he forcefully manifested in the Sacred Gear of my left eye.

It became all black with violet pupils.

Ice began climbing up my legs, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't move and could feel the prickling feeling of her ice, causing frostbite damage to my skin.

"What is going on here!? [Blaze Black Flare!]"

The black fire covered my entire body without hurting me. Their intensity was hot enough to stop the ice from spreading further up my leg but not get rid of any.

"What a frightening aura!" Vritra said, and I couldn't agree more with him.

This woman was dangerous.

She gave me the same vibe as Scàthach, making my skin crawl. Despite being dressed as a magical girl, her gaze looked absolutely monstrous. Glowing blue with power beyond mine and an unending amount of bloodlust that overwhelmed me.

Her earlier shout, coupled with what Sona said a few seconds later, was safe to assume that this person standing right in front of me, ready to freeze me to death, was none other than Serafall Leviathan—a Maou. A Devil known to be the strongest female devil in the Underworld, a rank below Sirzechs but still vastly more powerful than most beings from any pantheon.

"Why are you attacking me? What have I done!?" I screamed in anger at this injustice.

I was having a good time with Sona, enjoying a round of chess which I finally won after years of losing to her, and this crazy girl just arrived out of nowhere and attacked me!

"You won't steal So-tan from me!" she announced, pouring more of her magical energy onto the room.

The ice I managed to hold out started creeping up my leg.

'This is going too far!'

I came for a talk and not to battle against a Maou! I needed to get out of this situation. As I began drawing the Ansuz pattern in the air, my fingers glowed in an orange glow. If she wanted to kill me this badly, I wouldn't go down without a fight!

"ONEE-SAMA! STOP! IF YOU KILL HIM, I'LL NEVER TALK TO YOU AGAIN!"

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"..."

The room went deadly quiet, so much so that you could even hear a pin drop.

That only lasted a few minutes as the Maou broke into tears and took Sona into a deep hug.

"Waaaaah! I'm Sorry, So-tan, your onee-sama just felt someone finally break the contract and panicked!"

Continuing to latch on to the bespectacled girl, I watched as the terrifying Maou from a few seconds ago turned into a crybaby. I would have compared her to Sirzechs if her case wasn't even more extreme and unbelievable.

"When I teleported inside and saw the infamous Seducing Dragon, I feared for the worst and planned to freeze him for eternity and hide him somewhere remote so that he could never take you away!"

What the heck was that supposed to mean!?

'Seducing Dragon?' Vritra murmured inside, as he hummed in thought, 'I do not know if I like that name. I feel we could do better. What do you think, partner?'

'Instead of focusing on how she just revealed her intentions to freeze me for eternity, you focus on the name? This woman is crazy!'

'Aye, I have noticed that. But a dragon's pride is also their title, our pride sometimes overshadows our fear of death, and I am not a fan of the title.'

Dragons had weird priorities, just like most supernatural species in this world I guess.

I looked back at Sona and Serafall, taking this opportunity to introduce myself and calm the magical girl down. I only found Serafall giving me a stink eye while possessively holding onto a fed-up Sona, who laid limply in her arms. From what I gathered, she looked mad and equaled Sirzechs in the siscon department. But I did not worry too much, for I knew how to deal with such people.

"Wow, you must be Sona's super beautiful awesome elder sister! She talked a lot about you! From day to night, from dusk till dawn, Sona just wouldn't shut up about her elder sister which she feels too shy to reveal her true feelings to! How sad!" I emphasized the elder sister part, while also trying to not kill myself from the cringe.

"Really?" she became excited while Sona further panicked at my words, and now had her eyes turning murderous towards me.

I could see how they were related.

'Sorry, Sona, I must sacrifice you for this one.'

"Of course! She always talks about how she loves her big sister and misses her deeply every day when we meet. Whenever I asked her why she was so down, the girl told me her sister should visit her more often."

The more I talked, the more excited Serafall became, hugging her sister tighter. On the other hand, Sona had already fallen unconscious with her soul leaving her body at how I was damning her with every lie I spoke.

Or probably from the lack of oxygen.

"After seeing her like that, I knew she must have THE best sister in the world. How else would you have a younger sister who misses you so much? To the point of having perverted dreams of Yuri Yuri love. And, seeing you here as a magical girl, I can see that she downplayed your real self quite a lot!"

I believe that was enough bootlicking and bullshit for a month. Though she kept smiling with the biggest grin, something inside me refused to believe it. Like I was seeing a mask made of ice, one that showed cheerfulness from the outside but hid something dark and evil on the inside.

She was hiding her true self.

"I knew So-tan loved me!!!"

In a flash, she now stood in front of me and looked deeply at my face.

"I may not approve of you as my precious sister's fiance, but I like your style, dragon-kun."

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Wait…

"Excuse me, I think we may have had a misunderstanding here. I am not Sona's boyfriend." I said.

"Boyfriend? I called you her fiance."

Again with that.

"How can I be her fiance when we haven't even been anything more than friends so far?"

Now it was Serafall's turn to look at me in confusion.

"But, look over there." she pointed at the frozen chessboard. "That's a checkmate. You defeated her at her own game."

"I did," I spoke proudly with a puffed-up chest.

After calming down a bit after my conversation with Sona, I felt pretty satisfied with beating my long-time enemy in chess.

"It took a couple of years, but I managed to take down the tyrant. But what does that have to do with this fiance stuff?"

We played chess together for years, and not once have I heard of such an issue.

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"So you don't know… Also, I just remembered that you're a human, so that also helps me out a lot." she whispered, her playful attitude disappearing. "You were just playing for fun?" Serafall asked, staring into my eyes.

"No, I played because I was held at gunpoint to play the game."

My sarcasm bled out.

"Of course, I was playing for fun! Sona looked a bit out these last few days, and I decided to help the girl by indulging in her favorite activity of crushing me in a match. Unfortunately for her, I learned from my past mistakes and won. We've known each other for years. I didn't want to see her in such a state."

"..."

"..."

Pat

"Hm?"

The Maou got closer to me and rested her hand on my head with a sincere smile on her face.

"I see now. Sorry, I overreacted back there, dragon-kun. I thought you were going to sink your claws into another innocent maiden. There are rumors of the 'Seducing Dragon' in the Underworld that you would steal a husband's wife if he leaves her anywhere near you~."

My whole world came crashing down.

'Hahahahahahaha!' For the first time, Vritra burst laughing hysterically. 'What a creative description of yourself, partner!'

"Why and how did I get such a reputation!?" I nearly grabbed the girl by the shoulder and shook her, but then remembered her identity.

Taking a moment to calm myself down and take a few breathers to soothe my nerves—I asked again.

"Just… Why?"

Serafall just found my reaction funny.

"The Rating Game between Ria-tan and Phoenix-kun brought in quite the audience in the Underworld. From the Devils, Fallen, and even other races watched the match. You gained a lot of fans with that little pep talk you had at the end. It caused a commotion, and the infamous reputation as the 'Seducing Dragon' was born. Amazing, right?" her eyes turned into stars. "In fact, I always wanted to bring you into my show, 'Miracle☆Levia-tan'! The villain would have captured the Princess, and you would swoop in, seduce both the Princess and the villain's wife before taking them away, crushing the hero and villain mentally and physically!"

Oi, what a vicious woman! And that sounded so wrong!

"No, thank you." I immediately turned down her proposal, not wanting to warp the rumors even furthur. "I'm still curious about the fiance part and what relationship it has with me beating Sona in a chess matc—"

"Oh, would you look at the time!" Serafall interrupted me, grabbing her sister's unconscious body before standing back in the center of the room. "We have some urgent matters to attend to with our parents with what happened today, so I can't talk right now, Dragon-kun! See you next time, Levia-tan out!"

I grabbed her hand before she went and disappeared on me. There was so much I wanted to say to her, from an elder brother to another elder sibling. Putting aside all that magical girl persona and my earlier impression of her, I guessed she already knew how Sona thought of her and even though I wanted to pass this message to Sona instead of Serafall, it was something that needed to be let out of my chest.

"Listen, I don't know you nor that version of yourself you're trying to hide from everyone. But I know that you realize how Sona can be a bit unappreciative of your love for her and might treat you like an embarrassment more than anything. But she genuinely loves you with all of her heart, you do as well. If you let me, I want to help Sona be more truthful with that part of her, so that she doesn't end up regretting it in the future."

That conversation I had with her during the match just felt wrong and I couldn't let it go. It made me envious of what she had, and I wanted for her to realize the gift she possessed that many did not.

"..."

Serafall remained quiet and for a split second, her mask broke and I saw what felt like an older woman who had gone through a lot in her life. This version felt more tired and fed up with life than that cheerful persona she kept showing.

Chu

"—!?"

My eyes widened as I felt her lips gently peck my cheeks before she stepped back and gave me a final wave.

"We will definitely meet again, Dragon-kun. I'll be sure to bring Sona as soon as possible... And thank you."

Those two final words carried a lot of meaning which I could not decipher immediately, but nonetheless, she full heartedly said them.

A magic circle formed on the ground, teleporting both of them away while Serafall blew me a kiss.

"If she doesn't end up changing her mind, you can call me sister in our next meeting!"

Somehow, I felt something horrifying would happen the next time I saw either of them.

'You know, I think the new title is starting to grow on me.'

Shut up Vritra.

{Break}

-Kuoh Saizeriya-

Ring~

The door of the establishment opened with another customer walking in.

The waitress who previously served Kiba came to welcome whoever it was and take their order. Only for her to find a young girl wearing a scandalous outfit.

'Is that duct tape on her nipples!?' she noticed, horrified at what kind of degenerated parents this girl might have to allow this cute child to dress like this.

"H-Hello, young miss. Are you here without your mommy and daddy?" she asked the blank-faced girl.

"I sensed the Prison Dragon's aura here." she said in a monotone voice, ignoring the young woman's question.

"Eh?"

A TV series character? The waitress didn't remember seeing any mascots or events for children happening nearby.

"Umm, I don't know what character that is. Is it from the famous Dragso-ball series? I heard it's quite popular with the kids." she tried to interact with the kid but found her mannerisms very weird. "By the way, what's your name, little girl?"

"Ophis," the dragon god answered, looking left and right, trying to find the feel Vritra's presence throughout the restaurant. "Do you know where Vritra is?"

"Vritra?"

The waitress was getting lost with these names. Was she so out of touch with what the current generation liked?

Bzzt!

Ophis turned her head towards the direction of Kuoh, where she felt the sensation of Vritra's flames and tried to walk out of the door.

"Oh, wait! Ophis-chan, it's dangerous to go out there so late. How about this, I'll give you some free ice cream, and you wait until we can contact your parents."

The woman didn't want something tragic to happen to such a cute girl so late at night. Many twisted people in this world would take advantage of the naive girl, and she didn't want that.

"Ice… cream?"

She had already found Vritra's signature. She could try out whatever this human tried to offer her and teleport away.

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The next 5 chapters of Snafu, Harry Potter and my 2 Fate fics are already available on my P@treon. With 4 more Broly chapters at /NimtheWriter.