A Favor, Principal Nezu?

After running everyone through some basic exercises and scenarios aimed at their perception (and a little of the Zergling Obstacle Course- he couldn't make only Deku go through it) Kai sent everyone home. Their homework was to ponder the meaning of being a hero.

Kai's homework, on the other hand, was a matter that he had been waiting all weekend for.

After changing back into his standard uniform, Kai was soon knocking on a door whose lock he had picked before.

"Come in," came a polite, gentle voice.

Opening the door, Kai bowed politely as he came face to face with Principal Nezu and All Might. Kai took a seat on a chair that faced the two couches the teachers sat on.

"So, what's the situation on the League of Villains?" he asked quietly. Rude? Perhaps, but he couldn't think of any small talk to speak of.

"We have nothing," Principal Nezu replied. "The names they used appear to be fake, and their Quirks weren't registered. The police even reached out to INTERPOL and came up empty. They are like ghosts."

"Too bad they aren't actually ghosts. I have no idea which method of exorcism to use on a real one, and this would be a great opportunity to find out what works."

"I hope you're not serious," All Might said. Ghosts weren't real.

"Dead as a ghost serious. Nobody really knows what the Clan is capable of right now. My mom wasn't able to learn much, what with the brainwashing, drugs, having me, and trying to escape."

"Point taken," Nezu said. "The point is, we can't find them. Even if we did, Kurogiri will make capturing them quite the task."

"You know, I could always-"

"NO!" Nezu and All Might said in unison. He was probably going to say that he could scour the whole city and summarily execute them.

They would have been right, except for some phrasing.

"Fine. That not being an option because reasons," Kai said, really not understanding those reasons. Was it really so important to not take care of them? Was it really too much to hunt them down? This was like the issue that was against telepaths like his mom. "I would like a favor, Principal Nezu. Are the police done with the homunculus, Noumu?"

"Homunculus?"

"Yeah. Artificial human? You didn't hear about how Shigaraki talked about him? He was just ten digits short of an infomercial. Wait, that ignores the price, so make that ten… twenty or so digits. You get the picture."

"No, they aren't done with him. He has yet to say a word," All Might said.

"Don't hold your breath. He's not a human. To call him a human would be like calling a house a brick- just because humans were his building material doesn't mean he still is one. He's just a monster. And I happen to be the nearest and greatest monster expert."

"You can't possibly have experience with something like this. And I've read the file you gave us, you are less of an interrogator and more of a torturer," All Might said.

"Oh, so you can actually read. Good. I have a couple of books for you, and it would have been a waste if you couldn't read them. You are absolutely right, but that isn't what I want Noumu for."

"What do you think you can do?" Nezu asked. He had an uncomfortable itch in his mind that he knew what Kai was going for.

"Well," Kai said with a wry smile, "I was thinking sautéing, with a lemon-shoyu sauce."

Silence fell. All Might was spluttering like a fish out of water, and Nezu facepalmed. He remembered that Kai's summons were genetic manipulators, and would consume their prey for their essence. Kai had been quite frank with his file, or at least the copy that Nezu got.

Still, to talk about that like he was going to turn Noumu into a steak was…

"Sau…teed…?" All Might said slowly, still not believing his ears.

"Yeah. Served over rice. Maybe some sauce. I'm not a savage. The best part is, with his regeneration, who knows how many times I could hack him up and serve him?" Kai's grin widened.

"Come now, Kaisei, you're causing him a lot of distress," Nezu said. All Might appeared to be slowly progressing towards an aneurysm.

"Fine. No, it's not going to be like that. I have the means, and I am very curious about how this Noumu was created. Especially with what his existence means. I hope that you haven't been assuming that he is the only one?"

"Of course not," Nezu said. "Once you succeed once, repeating something is quite easy. Though, the fact that someone has gotten this far means that they have invested a lot of resources into this terrible research. Yet, nobody knows anything about Noumu or who could have made it."

"If it makes you feel better, I don't think these guys have anything to do with me."

"What makes you say that?"

"Not their style. They go for old fashioned or try to summon the servants of whatever god they follow. They wouldn't use science to manufacture a homunculus. Besides, they tend to go completely insane, so they typically can't do long term projects. Their biggest time investment would probably be me."

"… You know, telling us that you come from a long line of people that get driven insane by their Quirks is far from reassuring," Nezu said questioningly.

"Ayako says that I'm only as corrupted as my lifestyle has done. I've even chatted with my patron goddess and I'm fine, so nothing to worry about for now," Kai said with a shrug.

"You just enjoy saying whatever you want for the sake of watching people react, don't you?" Nezu said. He skipped wondering if Kai was serious to poke right at the core of the matter.

"Pretty much. It's a good pastime for someone whose daily work has too much blood and seriousness. Besides, All Might especially should know about the power of a psychological attack, right? But I think we have gotten off track. Can you get me Noumu?"

"Possibly, but the more important question is, should I?" Nezu said. It would be difficult to convince the police to hand over a criminal to become food. That aside, was it right for Kai to take custody of him at all?

"I guess that's a question for you to answer. If you want to know more about Noumu, then I can help if you can get him to me. A large chunk of him works too, if you don't want to let him out. Though, that might be harder to explain and convince them about. I guess I'll leave those answers to you. Is there anything else I should know about the investigation?"

"No, you may go."

Kai got up, bowed respectfully, and left. There was silence, for a moment.

"You didn't invite him, did you, Principal?"

"No, no I didn't."