My CO Stash #86 - My Otherworldly Adventure is a Disaster, As I Expected by Oreo the Cookie (OregairuXDanmachi)

-Another Hachiman Danmachi isekai~ Gotta say, I've always loved the whole Hikki 108 skills shtick being used for these fics, as it fits Danmachi's whole stat system perfectly!

Synopsis: The title says it all. He's not the protagonist of the story, he isn't overpowered, and he's even in debt. This is also my first published fanfiction, so please be sure to drop a review. Crossposted on SpaceBattles.

Rated: T

Words: 35K

Posted on: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13666306/5/My-Otherworldly-Adventure-is-a-Disaster-As-I-Expected (Oreo the Cookie)

PS: If you're not able to copy/paste the link, you have everything in here to find it, by simply searching the author and the story title. It sucks that you can't copy links on mobile (´ー｀)

-I'll be putting the chapter ones of all the fanfics/originals mentioned, to give you guys a sample if you wan't more please do go to the website and support the author! (And maybe even convince them to start uploading chapters in here as well!)

Chapter 1-3 (exceptional)

An Analysis on Relationships(Revised)

Hikigaya Hachiman

Class 2-F, Hiratsuka Shizuka.

"While humans are social creatures, they are also shallow and superficial to the last degree. Within society, what imprints the most of a person on the brain of a riajuu is a first impression, which dictates the remainder of their interactions with that person. Without regard as to whether the impression is accurate or not, the riajuu then bases their connection with that person based on what they have first heard. As such, mistakes, deception, and betrayal tend to follow.

Allow us, for example, to analyze the social life of a friend of a friend who is a recluse and socially distances himself from others. Usually treated as someone who is completely insignificant, when this friend of a friend is brought up however, he suddenly becomes subject to ridicule by the haughty, self-assured riajuus. Not only are these tasteless jokes used often, this person is frequently used as the butt of these jokes which serve to do nothing other than provide the riajuus with a minimal amount of self-satisfaction and validation. Fueled by nothing other than a desire to prove their own superiority in society, these riajuus only focus on the furthering of their own relationships, resulting in internal conflict within their social circle. This leads me to my conclusion.

Relationships between people are predicated on hollow truths and concealed deceptions. Established for nothing other than the comfort and validation of one's own wellbeing and social life, these relationships are groundless and nothing but a front. The befriending of someone is the equivalent of granting them the illusion of companionship so that you may use that person to further your own self-interest through subtle manipulation or outright coercion. As a result, riajuus are far more likely to present themselves as either gullible targets or masterful manipulators. To that end, those who are stabbed in the back not only deserve it, but have no one to blame but themselves for foolishly thinking that others will be as equally kind as they were."

This world surprised me in several ways. For one, even though this was a generic European-imitation world, people still spoke Japanese. Clearly, whoever designed this is either a RPG wannabe, or a cheap isekai novelist who couldn't be bothered to design his own unique world and thus copy-pasted the most generic high-fantasy template anyone could expect. As a result, it was a bland world where every single fantasy trope imaginable was crammed in.

Another thing: the people. Well, more specifically, the females–and female adventurers, at that. How could one wear an outfit so risque and yet expect that armor to protect them from the Dungeon? It seems as if those designs by the author were simply to satisfy the fetishes of young males who would create doujins out of them! Not even Zaimokuza would stoop to such levels of degeneracy! (Actually, he might if no one's watching.) PG-13 be damned!

Even now, as I sit here in the bar of the Hibachitei monologuing, there are countless female adventurers Author-san has put here whose presence serve nothing more than eye candy for the males.

If this were an anime, than what the audience would see is this:

First, the camera would show a front shot of a run-down tavern with the sign of a red wasp hanging in front. A subtitle would provide the translated title from Koine into Japanese: Hibachitei. Cut inside to reveal a large, dimly-lit room full of chattering adventurers, some dressed in armor that covered them from the neck-down, others wearing only the bare minimum, and even some females–Amazons– wearing the skimpiest of outfits imaginable. The camera pans slowly from left to right before finally the scene centers on a gray werewolf, his ashy tail swishing from side to side as he downs drink after drink. To his left, a different party sits, eagerly watching their own companions and cheering them on as they continue drinking. There's no need to bother with the character to his right because that's a background character who has absolutely no relevance to the plot whatsoever, and it's been made clear by that through the very ordinary-looking attire that the character wears. The werewolf with the swishing tail and white-gray jacket is clearly the main character of this story, judging from how the scene appears to center around him, right?

Wrong.

With a camera twist that absolutely no one in the audience sees coming, the screen abruptly jolts to the right before resuming its course, now focused on the unremarkable adventurer. That's me.

Alright, let's rewind just a bit. About, say, 8 months back.

Chapter 2

Hikigaya Hachiman starts as a debt-saddled wage laborer.

The ideal fantasy life is a lie. It is a well-created, fantastic vision that manages to delude a large majority of the populace who read high-fantasy or isekai novels, but that vision is nothing but a deceptive illusion nonetheless.

Forget about all the things that isekai novels like to talk about. Forget about making money by patenting an idea that doesn't exist in this world but did in the modern era. Forget about starting a one-man industrial revolution like you've dreamed about if you were to get zapped to another world.

Take all the things you ever thought you knew about living in a medieval age, and burn them in an incinerator.

Wait, those don't exist here.

In which case, take all the things you ever thought you knew about living in a medieval age and reduce them into ashes with a fireball.

As a Japanese adolescent born into the lush life of modern domesticity, I was not prepared in the slightest for what my new life would bring. Orario was far from the fantasy paradise I had envisioned in my younger years, when I would frequently wonder if I would ever have the chance to step into another world. Back then, when I had still been a hot-blooded young lad, I had constantly dreamed about what I would do if I ever had the chance to become an isekai technology-bringing, skill-busted, harem-attracting Min-Maxer of a main character.

However, things have long since changed during the years between chuunibyou me and current me. The current me has a far better grasp of interactions and situations then chuunibyou me could have ever hoped. Look out world, Hikigaya 2.0 is here!

Just as tsunderes and romcoms don't exist in real life, in another world no such thing as a broken Skill or a harem could ever exist, lest this be a dreaded Light Novel setting where standards can be broken at whim to create overpowered, easily self-insertable main characters. Creating a main character that is unique or special in some way other characters aren't is simply an effort on Author-san's part to give his main character–in other words, an almighty, more perfect projection of his own self-image– relevance in the plot.

Even if I was from another world, that didn't suddenly mean I would be blessed by the gods simply for existing. That doesn't realistically happen. If it did, then people like Zaimokuza wouldn't even need to go to a university and study literature just to be an author–they could open up their own little publishing corner and make shelves of light novels right then and there. Broken skills are something to be found only in the imaginations of chuunibyous and Light Novels.

In reality, standards of all sorts exist in order to have a successful life. Prestige, finances, luck, etc… the main character usually proceeds to break all of these normal notions by striking it lucky in some way through the author who wants to cut through the boring crap about living modestly as a farmer and wage laborer before actually starting adventuring.

Unfortunately, while I was an isekai character, apparently I was not the protagonist of this certain Light Novel series in particular, owing due to this no doubt being a crossover written by some enterprising, overconfident fan of whatever fantasy series this was and my own personal adventures last year.

In other words, if my personal adventures were to be summed up with the phrase "My Youth Romantic Comedy is Wrong, As I Expected", then I suppose this next chapter in the story of my life would be summed up as "My Otherworldly Adventure is a Disaster, As I Expected".

~~This is a Line Break~~

The last thing I remember from my previous world was me polishing up that essay–which was sure to probably just earn me another scolding from Hiratsuka-sensei–and then tucking into bed.

The next thing I know, I'm in a backdoor alley with nothing but the clothes on my back.

Everything I had ever known within my world was gone, replaced with whatever awaited me here in this world where technology was practically non-existent. I had no money with which to finance any endeavors I might attempt. I had no services to offer for which I might find a reasonable and safe living. Until I could fulfill a certain condition as was required from the setting, getting home was a dream.

Authors love descriptions. It's a well-known fact that whenever a character is placed out of their usual setting, they are subjected to entirely new and fresh experiences that otherwise they never would've seen in their old world, thus subjecting the reader to a lengthy exposition about the system and the world that otherwise never would've made it in if the character was a native to begin with. For example, you wouldn't see me explaining what a stove is to the readers because I live in this world, use the stove every day, and already know what it is, which skips a long explanation about its inner workings, functions, etc. However, isekais were known for their long-winded explanations about the world and its system, since the character there(me) was a stranger and therefore had no knowledge whatsoever of any customs, history, culture, etc.

Which leads me to this, the compilation exposition of this world in terms as basic as I could summarize it:

1000 years ago, gods(yes, apparently actual gods who were divine beings from another world) descended onto the mortal plane and sealed themselves in human-like bodies, which restricted them from using Arcanum, their godly powers. If they did use Arcanum, they would be sent back to Heaven in a large pillar of light("Beam me up, Scotty!"). After descending from Heaven, the gods granted mortal children a divine Falna(Blessing) which allowed them to draw out their full potential and reach for greater heights(typical RPG stuff). Thus, those mortal children became part of the god's followers, which was known as a god's 'Familia'. These people founded Orario, a lid which covered the Dungeon, which was this large sinkhole in the earth that was… well, a dungeon. Monsters spawned from the walls, traps would try to kill you, etc, etc. Monsters, when killed, dropped magical crystals which apparently acted like batteries. As Orario was the only place where these magic stones could be produced, it became the economic center of the world, and not only that, due to the adventurers who constantly journeyed into the Dungeon daily, and Leveled up as basically superhumans, it also possessed the strongest military force in the world. There was also a Guild which regulated the various Familias around the city and also allowed adventurers to exchange magic crystals for cash, and if one wanted to be an adventurer, one should sign up there. The Dungeon, which had monsters in it and reached deep into the earth, was said to have an uncountable number of floors, with each floor getting larger and more complex the deeper one went, with larger and more dangerous monsters appearing, like a gigantic cone, with the very tip being the opening at the Tower of Babel, the white tower standing in the middle of the city. It had never been completed and it was alive as an entity that sought to kill intruders by using monsters, which led to the whole thing above.

The Dungeon had never been fully conquered, which meant there was no doubt as to what the condition was. Since the condition had been determined, then next was finding a way to fulfill it. Which meant, "Gather money and begin living as an adventurer."

I spent the first month in this world as a beggar, kneeling for scraps on the road and asking for coins from passersby. It's not something I am particularly fond of talking about, and I'm sure whatever Author-san writes this is too lazy or uncomfortable to even bother documenting my suffering with one chapter. I have a sneaking intuition I'll only be able to sneak in a paragraph at most. Picture living in a world where sanitation is a couple hundred years behind your average modern street, and there is neither warm food nor adequate blankets to protect you from the freezing nighttime. Imagine living under wooden crates and moldy boxes on rainy days, with nothing to do as water drips its way down the inside of your box and you can't afford catching a cold in this world because there are no antibiotics, so you must endure this. Think about begging and scrabbling for food that's been in the air and smells, but you have no choice but to eat it or else let yourself starve.

That's how my first month in Orario went. It was brutally realistic and something harsher than what I had even suspected was coming. Thanks to the assistance of some experienced beggars, however, I was able to barely make it past the first month, albeit much worse for wear.

The next period of my life in Orario began with me passing out after a particularly bad day on the backdoor of a tavern.

~~This is a line break~~

… Today, like all other days so far in Orario, was a terrible day. Not only was it raining, but it was a Sunday, which meant that most businesses were closed, thus making it so that I was deprived of most monetary providers for the day as well as sympathetic store owners who would sometimes give me unsold food.

My clothing from my previous world had been reduced to nothing but a torn rag that covered my body. I had no shoes to begin with, and wandering the streets with my bare feet was prone to injuries I would be unable to treat, which meant that I walked around in improvised shoes that were hardly better than just cloth wrappings around my feet.

My stomach growled and I looked around, but as I expected, there was no food nor shelter in sight. I stumbled a little before regaining my balance. There was a building ahead with light shining from the windows. Maybe there was food there.

The world seemed to abruptly tilt before my eyes before I registered the sensation of cold stone against my face, and that was all I remembered before I passed out.

I woke up on a soft bed with white sheets. My eyes stared out at wooden rafters that crossed the ceiling. Slowly easing myself into a sitting position, I peered around the room. It was plainly furnished with not much but the bed I was sitting on, a small bedside cabinet to my right, and a small table on the far side of the room. A window was on the right, and faint sunlight shone in, obscured by the clouds. The door was open.

"Oh, you're awake." My gaze went to the doorway, which was now occupied by a young girl–16, 17?– with distinctive platinum-blue hair dressed in a green dress with an apron draped over the front and a frilly headband. "Hi, I'm Syr Flova. How're you feeling?"

"..." Normally, I would've answered immediately(probably with some sort of snarky reply), but today, my stomach beat me to the punch. It growled just loud enough to elicit a smile from the girl.

"I see you're hungry. I have some stew sitting in the kitchen," She offered. I nodded, and soon enough there was a warm dish of stew with rice sitting in my lap, which I wolfed down as quickly as possible. It might've been me, but the food tasted much better than anything I had eaten in the city so far. Not that I would tell Flova that, since her eyes were sparkling with some sort of ulterior motive that I was unable to glean for now. There was a mix of amusement and glee in her eyes.

In between bites, the girl peppered me with identity questions, which I dutifully answered.

When I finished, setting the plate down on the nightstand with a thud, her gaze shifted towards a figure I hadn't even noticed was standing there, a tall woman who occupied the entire doorframe, blocking my view of the hallway.

"So, you ate it all." Her words made me freeze. Shit. Did I really just eat my way into a capitalist scheme designed to force me into corporate slavery? Author-san you piece of– "My name's Mia, and all the girls in the pub call me Mama. In exchange for you eating my food, I'll have you working here." Ugh, it's as I thought. Life of wage labor, here I come! Seeing my resigned face, the woman laughs. "Looks like you know what's going on. I'll have you pay off your debt, since you didn't have any money on you and you've been using that bed for the past 2 days."

I sighed loudly, knowing I had no choice. "Well, how much do I owe?" Mia puts her hand to her chin before smiling at me in a way that sends chills down my back.

"I'd say… about enough to make you work here for the next 6 months or so." You evil, evil woman. If I wasn't convinced that this was a LN setting, I'd have been sure that this was a thing I could never escape from!

That's how, the next day, I found myself dressed in a crisp collar shirt, black pants, and an apron–what people would expect some fashion idol to make flashy, I think. It looked pretty decent, if I say so myself.

"... Well?" I waited very calmly as Mia and Flova examined me like a museum relic. I'm pretty sure this is what we call a rare Hikigaya, seeing as I'm in formal waiter attire. Look, a Shiny Hikigaya, SSS Gold Rare! "What do you think?"

"Wow, after cleaning up, you look surprisingly good, Hikigaya!" Hey, hey, I have ears. I heard that 'surprisingly' just now. Don't try to play all cutesy with me. It won't work. "Thought your eyes… how should I put it…" Flova put her finger to her chin, but Mia spoke up first.

"Even a corpse's eyes have more life than yours, Hikigaya." And that was Mama Mia: blunt and merciless. I could feel her appraisal of my appearance stabbing holes in my heart.

"Well, what do you want me to do? I was born with these eyes," I shot back. Mia just glared at me, and I could feel my body shrink inwardly to avoid that aura of death. "Alright, alright, what do you want me to do?"

"Peel those vegetables." Mia nodded at a large pile of potatoes lying on the table. "Every newbie's first job is to peel them, and you won't be any different."

Picking up the knife, I went to work. Take, peel, set. Take, peel, set. Pretty soon, I had myself a rhythm, and I began thinking about my situation. Being in the kitchen is menial work, so even if it's simply busy work, I won't have to interact with others. Second off, I know enough about cooking from my experiences that I can easily wash dishes or whatever, which is probably my first task. I'll also be able to get time to think, which means I can plan out the next step in this situation.

Unexpectedly, Mia's forced job was actually a benefit for me: Even though I was now in debt, I could still work it off comfortably, and I had a roof to live under as well as food that was neither a wooden panel over my head nor something I had taken or begged for that was already going bad.

Now that I had a job with stable footing, I could begin considering my options and my way to getting home. If the goal was to conquer the Dungeon, my first course of action would be to register as an adventurer and join a Familia in order to become stronger through the use of the leveling system the gods had created for this world. As much as I disliked it, I would be forced to maybe work for or with other people.

In that case, it would be better to find a Familia that lacked attachments, or otherwise encouraged independence or working by oneself. It was better to do so anyways. The smaller the group, the less room for mistakes, misinformation, and misinterpretation. Do things by yourself and you'll guarantee little to no mistakes at all, since you know yourself the best and you know your limitations.

My knife slips as a thought rises to the surface. That didn't work for Yukinoshita though… I shake my head to clear myself of the notion. That incident was a result of an overburdening of social relations and public pressure upon her. That wouldn't apply to me here.

"Munya, you're pretty good, nya." I look up from my work as I notice a brown-haired catgirl peering down at me. "I'm jealous, nya. Those peels are so much thinner than anything I've ever done, nya." She smiles as she stares at me. "Oh, sorry, forgot to introduce myself, nya. I'm Anya, nya. What's your name, nya?" Two thoughts instantly ran through my head as I paused in my peeling and looked up at the girl. The first one was that while I thought menial work would be enough for the other pub employees to not bother associating with me, it appeared that I was very wrong. The second, more importantly, was this: what the hell is this catgirl's problem? Ending every sentence with 'nya' doesn't make you automatically cute, you know? In fact, that verbal tick is kind of disturbing. No human talks like that. Author-san, you bastard, did you design this world just to satisfy your fetishes?! I can see you drooling over your manuscript already, you perverted chuunibyou! Where did you copy this disgusting habit from, huh? Ecchi harem fantasy romances? Go die in a hole, you scummy degenerate!

"It's Hikigaya Hachiman." I reply, not bothering to look at her.

"Hikinya, huh?" Here we go with the weird nicknames again… First it was Hikitani, then it was Hikimori, and now Hikinya, huh? I sigh in my head as I resign myself to this new nickname.

"Yes, I suppose you could call me that." I finish my work, and as I do, I sweep the freshly peeled potatoes into a bowl and pass them to a different catgirl who's working as a chef in the kitchen next to Mia. She takes them with a nervous nod before moving back towards the stove.

"I'm finished. What's next, Mia?" I ask the owner as she passes me by. She gives a small nod of approval. "You're actually a pretty decent worker, Hikigaya. Unlike some people I could mention." Following that statement, she seemed to exude a terrifying, demonic aura along with a chilling glare that seemed to be directed at… the catgirl behind me, Anya. The gaze swept around the small room, being directed at Flova and then May, who gave a titter and a shudder, respectively. "Anyways, we're running low on supplies, so make a trip to the shops. Syr will run you through on how to do it."

For all her threats, death glares, and grumbling, Mia was an excellent employer, and the coworkers were all kind to each other. The living quarters and food were definitely something that was much better than whatever I lived in during my first month here. In return, I worked hard; not only to escape the wrath of Mia combined with her iron fist, but also to prevent social interaction. What's the point of interacting with others and forming bonds with them if I was going to leave one day anyways? None. At best, those relationships could be used to perhaps land me some favors, but nothing else.

That's basically how I spent the next two months or so working off my debt at the Hostess of Fertility.

Which brings me to the present.

Chapter 3

Anya wants to be an influential instructor

"Name, sir? First, then last." The Guild receptionist looked at me with an aura of boredom. A werewolf with long, crimson flowing hair, the expression on her face amounted to apathy, more than anything.

"Hachiman Hikigaya." I waited for her to finish penciling in the characters on the sheet, making a mental note to ask around the pub if there were people willing to teach me Koine.

"Age?"

"17."

I went through the formal registration procedures. Place of Birth? Not available. Background? Not available. In the end, I was finished, and the receptionist directed me into one of the side rooms, where I sat down and patiently waited for my advisor to appear and be assigned to me.

I had finally managed to work off most of my debt, according to Mia, and I was able to negotiate for partial work hours so that I could begin Dungeon-diving during the day. Today was the day I finally decided to register at the Guild.

I waited for around maybe 5 minutes before the door opened and a young, pink-haired girl dressed in the Guild uniform stepped inside. From the way she kept nervously fidgeting, she was probably a newbie. Pairing up new adventurers with newbies, huh? I can see why the Guild would do that. It's efficient, since both learn about the specifics of their job as they go. Finally, as she sat down on the sofa opposite of me, she flashed a cheery smile at me.

"Hi, I'm Misha Flott, your advisor! Truth be told, you're my first, so please, take good care of me!" She stood up and bowed towards me. What the hell is with that awkward and suggestive phrasing? If it were anyone else besides me, I'm sure they would be having a heart attack as a blubbering mess on the floor right now. Write dialogue clearer next time, Author-san!

Following formality, I stood up and returned her gesture with a stiff bow. "No worries, I'm also a newbie adventurer. Anyways, would the Guild happen to be willing to provide weapons and equipment for me? I'm not sure I have the financial requirements to purchase any top of the line equipment, so just stock newbie stuff will be fine."

"Um, sure! Please follow me to get your measurements taken." Going out of the room, I soon found myself equipped with a chestplate, a sword, and a knife, all of which I attached to my body with no small amount of satisfaction until I heard the price. "The total amounts to 12,000 Valis."

I paused for a second. Did I just hear… 12,000 Valis? 12,000? That's got to be a mistake. There's no way newbie equipment costs so much. Seeing my expression, Flott laughs."Yes, 12,000 Valis, Hikigaya-san." I just got out of partial debt! Author-san, you piece of shit! How dare you put me in this city with such a crappy economic system! This is a scam! A scam, I tell you!

"You probably can't pay that off in one go, so we'll simply deduct a set proportion of whatever you make in the Dungeon and use that to pay off your debt. You can also take out a loan from the Guild to pay it off." I nodded numbly, tuning out her words as my mind tried to process just how much debt I was in. Fuck, 12,000, plus Mia's unspecified amount, and that's assuming I can even make my way through without getting injured at all on the first day. Can't afford to get injured at all today. Can't afford to get injured at all. Should I take out a loan? ... No, not yet. I'll see how much I can make today before jumping to conclusions and digging myself in a deeper hole than the one I'm already in.

"Well, I'll send you off, then. Good luck, Hikigaya-san!" Flott flashes me a smile that I don't return as I begin blending into the crowd, the flow of which is directed towards the white tower standing in the center of the city.

~~This is a Line Break~~

For all my rambling at times and my introspective glances into the deeper parts of the human mind as well as my cynical snarks and takes on cringe and comedy, there was still a time in my life where I had once been a hot-blooded youth full of adolescence–barring the sparkly, wide, innocent eyes that the rest of those kinds of people had, of course. As embarrassed as I was to admit it, I had undergone a phase in my life where I had attempted to–or at least, pretended to–be a sword-wielding cool guy, like a certain black-haired trenchcoat-sporting harem-attracting LN protagonist.

However, as I've previously said before, I was a youth who came from a period of time where technology had progressed to the point where swinging a sword did less damage than twitching a finger(to pull a trigger, that is). I was never physically fit nor mentally prepared for the hardships I would encounter in this life, and I would need to devote a good amount of my resources to avoid or circumvent them if that was possible.

There was absolutely no room for mistakes here. In this situation, I could not afford to be 'that guy' who was hotheaded and was going to rush in mindlessly, which would result in not only injuries, but maybe even death.

I would approach this the way I usually did things: practically, with a great deal of thought behind my actions.

In my brain, I began dredging up the memories of every single fight–wait no, too broad. Anything that involved stabbing multiple times was going into the trash can right now. Blasting the enemy with as many blows as I could without leading to a feasible conclusion was a waste of energy. There was no point to doing that. Getting bogged down by wasting stamina on some amazing one-shot kill attack was useless.

Strength and speed were not as important when compared to efficiency and minimal movement. Overwhelming monsters by using stats wasn't effective in games, and it certainly wouldn't be effective now. Simply abusing a stat number or advantage didn't guarantee victory; this was real life, after all, not a turn-based MMORPG nor a real-time high fantasy game.

With that in mind, I headed down the stairs, into the wide opening of the Dungeon.

1st Floor's main hallway, also known as the 'Beginning Road', was the place where all newbie adventurers inevitably took their first step past the starting line. As a result, it was full of people wearing gear like mine–Guild-provided and shabby. I didn't even bother considering whether or not to partner up or party with any of them before ducking straight into one of the side hallways, where right off the bat I was face-to-face with a green-skinned, small, chubby creature. A goblin, one of the many low-level small-fries that could be found in the Dungeon's early levels. It was weak enough so that I wouldn't die from being scratched, but if I found myself swarmed, I might be in some real trouble.

I exhaled as I raised my sword, its eyes meeting mine. It shrieked, crouching down and lunging at me with its entire body.

Stay calm. Panicking would only lead to mistakes. But that's exactly just what happened.

I had many excuses for this screw-up, of course. The sword wasn't exactly balanced in my hand, and again, I was never a particularly athletic person. As such, when the goblin lunged at me, I immediately tried to knock it out of the air with my sword, only to horribly fail and have it hit me in the chest. Combine that with my backwards stepping motion, which rendered me off-balance, and pretty soon I was lying on the ground with it on top of me. As soon as it did, it opened its mouth and bit into my right arm.

Agh, shit! Get it off get it off get it off… I frantically flailed my arm in an attempt to dislodge the goblin, but that had little effect, instead making it cling on with both hands. Drawing my knife, I frantically stabbed it into the little critter's body over and over again until it finally collapsed on top of me and its jaw slackened. There was a small thud as its body collapsed to the floor.

I paused for a moment to recollect my breath as I recounted the experience. As video-game like as I had expected it to be, I tended to forget this was reality. There was no System-assist to help me, no pre-set skills, nothing. I needed to remember that this was reality for me right now, and that I needed to stay calm. I might've been able to down one goblin from a prone position, but screwing up with 5 or 6 goblins on top of me was not the ideal way to go. It would be the equivalent of embarrassing myself by dying from falling out of a tree and breaking my neck, or by getting killed by kobolds in a big battle to defend the capital from the Demon King's army… etc, etc. I could go on and on. Embarrassing deaths weren't all that uncommon in real life, you know?

Regardless, it wouldn't do well for me to expect monsters to be taken down so easily.

What I should focus on isn't pressuring the opponent with a series of wild attacks, but rather a planned, executable, simple sequence of moves that would ultimately result in a killing blow. There should be no energy wasted on inconsequential or dramatic moves.

Tripping, blinding, kicking, punching, and maybe even biting were not going to be exemplary from my tactics.

And I needed to remember to harvest the magic stone, not just leave the body there for some other adventurer to pick up. It was my kill and my reward.

Kneeling down, I flipped over the corpse before using my knife to cut out the magic stone, located in the center of its chest(probably the center, I just cut out a huge chunk in the middle of the chest and picked it apart). As soon as I did, the goblin's corpse dissolved into dust and floated away. Nothing remained but the magic stone, a purple shard no larger than that of half my pinky-nail.

Pretty convenient way for the Dungeon to deal with bodies.

Stuffing it into my pocket, I moved on. Another lone goblin appeared in front of me, its claws bared and ready to fight.

Stay calm and assess the situation before acting. Is this a fight I can win surely? With the first goblin I had already killed, I could accurately say yes. Engage.

Goblin is two meters away from me. Lunge. Sidestep, bring sword down. Missed neck, but managed to cut deeply into back. Do not attempt to force a kill in this situation. Recover sword. It crouches down. Preparation for lunge. Goblin lunges. Step forward and meet it halfway with horizontal swing, utilizing the flat of the blade to knock it out of the air and disrupt momentum. Swing manages to knock it into the ground, exposing its neck. Use foot to crush throat. Finish off goblin with sword through the body. Done. Collect magic stone.

2 Goblins and a new type of monster, a dog-headed humanoid. Kobold. Surrounded, no choice but to engage. Goblins to front and kobold to the back. Goblins in front lunge first. Use downwards diagonal left to right slash to stop both at once. One is now headless, the other missing its arm. Kobold lunges forward. Meet force with force? No. Avoid head-on confrontations with uncertain outcomes. Sidestep and intercept momentum with kick. Kick fails to stun it long enough to deal significant damage. Sword only manages to graze chest. Recalculate plan of attack. Kobold attempts to swipe at me with claws. Duck under attack and bring sword up, thrusting with simultaneous forward step-in. Sword pierces kobold's chest. Stab wound not deep enough. Incoming attack–

I dodge backwards as the kobold's jaws close where I just was a second earlier. However, as I do, I feel a sudden pain in my right arm as well as a sudden weight when the one-armed goblin manages to bite onto me. Again, my right arm. What a pain in the… arm. Yeah, that's what it was.

Retreat from kobold. Draw knife with left hand and shove through goblin's chest. Goblin dissolves into dust–magic stone destroyed. Goblin neutralized. Kobold is wounded, but not significantly. Incoming attack–lunging tackle. Meet force with force by stepping forward and thrusting both hands forward. Knife stabs arm and sword stabs chest. Kobold neutralized. Goblin shriek to my right. Turn around. Singular goblin, freshly spawned from the wall judging by the closing crack. Intercept lunge preparation by kicking it into wall. Use sword to slice throat. Neutralized.

Collect magic stones. Assess condition. Arm wounded, but not severely. Superficial bite wounds. Will need to patch up later and possibly sprinkle with alcohol to prevent infection. Irrelevant. Continue moving.

Everything that happens next blurs together into a sequence. I remember wading amongst groups of goblins and kobolds, fighting like a mindless machine: dodging, kicking, punching, and slashing. Collecting magic stones until my pockets are full, and then fighting some more as shrieks sound from around the hallway. Going down an incline and diving right into conflict, killing more and more before around me there's nothing but piles of ash.

As the fog in my mind slowly clears, I realize that I've wandered back to the Beginning Hallway.

I'm covered in wounds. Bite marks and claw wounds–from goblins and kobolds alike–dot my body and armor. There are three long scratches on my chestplate, and there is a small gash on my left leg which oozes blood. My body also feels like it just got dogpiled on by 10 Zaimokuzas–that is, breathing is very painful and my ribs feel like they're on fire from being crushed.

Shit, did my perception really just do one of those fadeouts that happen in anime when "coolness montages" occur and the author wants to be lazy and skip writing in detail? That's dangerous! Author-san, are you trying to get me killed?! Even if you're a lazy writer, and you know you work on a budget that doesn't give you full-page color panels to waste, making said panels about me killing everything without any regard as to my own injuries and whatnot is a bit unrealistic, isn't it?! Even if you play it off as an adrenaline rush, the readers will still find that hella suspicious! Learn to have some decent consistency in your writing and not just focus explicitly on the 'rule of cool', will you?! Or else, you're a writer who's even worse than Zaimokuza!

I grumbled as I appraised my body's current state. With these wounds, I was bound to lose money from whatever medical services were provided in the city. 12,000 from the Guild and Mia's debt, and now this… I've never heard of a main character dropping deeper and deeper into debt as the story progresses. Usually they're able to work it off, not drop deeper into the infinite abyss of hell! This is an LN setting, and I can understand trying to subvert regular isekai expectations of the main character being all financially successful right off the bat with their whimsical charms, special knowledge, or broken abilities, but isn't this too realistic, Author-san?!

Please let me win the lottery at some point in the future, Author-san… or when I go back to my old world, I'm going to track you down and kill you in your sleep.

I sigh and begin limping back the way I came, back towards the staircase, where I would eventually find medical treatment, probably before I bleed to death. As I trudge up the stairs, I think about my situation.

Currently, my pockets are lined with magic stones–that is to say, they're bulging with them. I'm even carrying a couple handfuls each. Judging from their individual size, they aren't worth very much, and as such, either I should prioritize quantity over quality, which is equivalent to farming on this floor–or other similar floors–or quality over quantity–which means going deeper.

From how often I had been wounded by these small fries, I doubt I could afford to go deeper without losing a limb. I didn't have a Status either, which basically meant I was unable to compare with those who could. I would lose to any regular Level 1 adventurer, especially with how reckless I am.

And even after I promised myself I wouldn't be 'that guy', too… guess my long-forgotten hot-blooded youth has come back to life, if only temporarily.

~~This is a Line Break~~

"I can't believe you're so reckless, nya!" One commercial break and jump-cut later, after patching up my wounds by purchasing a low-quality healing potion–Goodbye, 500 Valis!–and turning in my magic stones–Hello, 500 Valis!(Hold on a second, that just puts me in the same situation that I was in before!) –I'm currently being lectured by Anya for returning late. "Hikinya, if you show up late again, I can't ensure that Mama Mia won't be mad at you, nya!"

Ah… that's right. I'd forgotten that Mia liked punctuality… very much. "Yeah, I got the message." I shrugged off her remarks and made to leave the room, but one last comment stopped me.

"I know you're a new adventurer, but this is too reckless, nya! Your clothes are ripped and shredded, and you have blood all over you, nya! How reckless are you?" Anya resembles a cat meowing very fiercely at its owner for giving food late as she scolds me. After letting out a self-satisfied sigh, she smiles at me. "I guess I have no choice but to teach you, nya!"

Wait. Waiiiiiit just a damn second here. When the hell did I give you permission to teach me?! As I stare at this enthusiastic catgirl who's grinning like she just won the lottery, I feel a vague sense of irritation. If this were an anime, I'm sure there would be a visible twitch of my eye or a bulging vein on my forehead somewhere.

"Be proud, nya! You're going to be having the Level 4 adventurer Anya teach you, nya!" The words took a second to register in my mind.

This klutz is Level 4?! Level 4s were equivalent to superhumans when you compared them to a run-of-the-mill Level 1 adventurer. She sure doesn't seem like it… While working at the Hostess of Fertility, however, Anya displayed none of those almighty superhuman abilities. She would mess up orders, trip and spill food servings, arrive late for work, and even sleep in on some days–all of which earned her crushing blows from Mia that tended to leave her head smoking and buried in the ground. I had always automatically assumed that those interactions were simply possible through the powers of slapstick comedy, but apparently not. Her being Level 4 would explain how she survives Mia's punishments. Although, that made me think… if Mia's blows could sink a Level 4 adventurer to the ground so easily, then just how strong was she? Level 5? 6?

Well, as the tropes went, "overpowered but klutzy waitress" wasn't all that uncommon. Besides, this place wasn't exactly a main-character watering hole for nothing. Therefore, it makes sense that there would be pretty waitresses that could just as easily beat you out of the bar.

"Okay then, nya! How does training early in the morning sound then, nya?!" She seemed overly hyper about this for some reason.

"Sure… I guess…" Pressured with such an enthusiastic personality, I had no choice but to cave in.

~~This is a Line Break~~

"Our first practice lesson, nyaaaa~," Anya's statement was interrupted by a wide yawn. It was around maybe 4 or 5 in the morning, and the sun's light was only gently shining into Orario. The majority of the blazing light was hidden behind the city wall, and I was in the tavern courtyard with all of my equipment ready to go, while she was unarmored and carried only a plain broomstick with the end taken off.

My train of thought breaks as I hear faint breathing sounds. Next to me, Anya leans on a broomstick, swaying slightly back and forth with her eyes closed. I assume she's meditating… wait, hold on. Was that… a snore? Is she seriously sleeping right now, when she's the one who pressured me into coming this early? Get a grip. If you can't do it yourself, then don't drag others down with you. I could be sleeping at this time, you know~

I snap my fingers in front of the dozing catgirl's face. "Hey, wake up. Earth to Anya."

"Munya! Danger, nya! Oh, it's just Hikinya." The catgirl springs into action before visibly relaxing. "Anyways… where was I, nya? Oh, that's right, we'll spar for a bit, nya. That way you can hone your timing and techniques, nya. After that, I'll see if I can teach you anything else, nya. Anyways, come at me, nya."

I narrowed my eyes as I stared at her. Anya was human–technically. Therefore, unlike monsters in the Dungeon, she would actively react or defend against attacks instead of throwing out patterned moves. She also had superior range, reflexes, and combat experience.

If I needed to even scratch her, a plan was needed.

What is the solution to dealing with an opponent superior in all three aspects of combat? Simple. Take away said advantages through a variety of methods. Or, in this case where neither terrain nor timing was on my side, do something unexpected.

Draw out secondary weapon from the back. Throw. Opponent glances to the left, clearly distracted. Step in with sword, backhand slash, left-to-right. Opponent blocks with main body of pole. Contest of strength? No. Pull sword back–

Suddenly, the world turns a full 180 degrees as my back collides with a wall–wait, no, the ground. I've been thrown?! As I regain my bearings, I find myself on the business end of a broomstick. Hold on a second, actually technically both of us are on business ends, since it's just a broomstick and both ends are identical. But she is holding it and it's pointed at me, so I guess I really am on the business end of a broomstick.

"I surrender." No point in dragging this out.

"I win, nya! I am the strongest, nya!" Anya prances around the courtyard happily before coming to a stop. "Wouldn't you agree, Hikinya?" That wasn't even the point of the fight, though… Please get back on topic, you airheaded catgirl.

"Anyways, Hikinya, you've got the right mindset, but you lack footwork, nya."

"... Footwork?"

"Footwork, nya." Anya picks up the broomstick and stands in the center of the courtyard at a ready position. "Footwork equals movement, which raises your efficiency and also maintains balance, nya. Footwork creates a system which you can act on to dodge, move in or retreat, and get more power for your attacks, nya. In essence, it's the most fundamental basics that one needs to grasp to fight properly, nya. I may only know spear techniques, but my footwork can apply to all situations, nya. Right now Hikinya, you might have the right plans, but you can't execute them properly, nya. You lack the physical strength and technique, nya. You're in a Familia, right, nya For strength, you'll get that naturally through the upgrading of your stats, so you don't need to worry about that, nya. Footwork, however, must be practiced, nya. Your footwork is poor, which puts you off-balance whenever you attack, leaving you easily vulnerable, nya. But once you've learned from the great Anya, you'll be much better at fighting than before, nya! It'll help you survive in the Dungeon, nya!"

Author-san, if you're lazy enough to put in another jump-cut montage to save yourself some extra writing work and just cut to the next chapter of the fun, then by all means, go ahead and do it now! I can imagine the pictures already: A shot of me sitting a corner of the bar mixing drinks at night while Anya and Syr serve the customers, completely hidden from the public eye and only visible to the audience, Anya and the others gathered at a table partying while in the window view I'm practicing footwork by myself in the courtyard. So on, so forth.

And while I've never been one to follow conventional tropes, this is a LN setting, after all. Surely, there's no harm in following them, right?

Cue the training montage, the To Be Continued sign and the ending song!