Strap

When Rod came in I was so high off of Jachin and had reached for him before I opened my eyes. I knew when my husband was mad, I knew when he was hurt, I knew when he was ashamed, I just couldn't tell when he was guilty. He made sure Jachin was gone before he initiated the argument and didn't say anything at first, my heart dropped when I remembered the buttons being ripped off of my clothes and they had been just tossed somewhere in the room. I tucked the cover under my chin confused because they weren't in sight anywhere, neither were my boots. My purse was on the dresser and the closet had been cleaned. It was 5:54 and Rod had come home for Christmas. When I didn't see the journal I though Jachin had taken it, also I decided that day to start keeping one of my own. "So this is what u do all day, sleep? Get up Japonica! Whats with the computer!? WHY HAVEN'T U ANSWERED THE PHONE, I'VE BEEN CALLING SINCE THE PLANE LANDED!?" "Baby, I'm sorry---I've just been going through alot, I had to quit the job, I just couldn't deal." "ARE U PREGNANT AGAIN!? DID THE DEPRESSION COME BACK!? I NEED U TO BE ABLE TO FUNCTION! Jeez, I am so glad u have Jay because I can't do this alone, I need help with u and where are my children!? Don't tell me u sent them off! It's the holidays!" I looked at his decorated uniform as he laid his cap beside my purse, "I don't need this right now Baby, how long have u been in bed? Your brother said u have been sound asleep since this morning, I hope u aren't knocked up because u can't handle it right now!" "I know u don't want a 5th child." "A 5th child? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!" "So u don't consider Roderick to still be our baby? I'm going to the shower, I'm glad u are home." "Where's all my liquor?" "I guess Jay drunk it. I still felt Jachin all over me and I was hiiiigh. I had never been high, I got up and changed the covers on the bed, his scent was clinging to me and when I considered he didn't use protection I became a little on edge. He walked to the closet for changing clothes. I showered but when I got out Rod was gone and I knew he had gone to get liquor, he couldn't wait to get drunk. He was angry so I knew it would be a brandy night and I had no choice except to fuck my husband but I had no desire for him at all. I stood in the shower, my mind was a conundrum because I saw Rod standing on the roof blowing Destiny's head off from 100 feet away, while she had her own gun in her hand, the way she was found. After I showered Rod still hadn't returned, I went to the living room desktop and logged into Facebook and saw the two friend request notifications and excepted them; a short while later the message came in, "Are u ok? The door is unlocked." He had to be talking about mine. "Are u crazy? And my door is locked." "U know what I mean. I miss u, turn on the cam." "NO!" "I can still taste u." "I have to go." "No, now u have to give me what I want, everything I want." I was getting turned on again just by reading his messages and my condition was worse than it was before he gave me what I needed. "My husband is HOME!" "Yea, I knew he would be soon---u hadn't talked to him in a while. I wonder if he'll miss the toys." "WHAT!? WHERE ARE---JACHIN! THIS IS GOIN TOO FAR!" "Why do u need them if we have a chemistry, they won't do any good. The door is unlocked." "U KNOW I CAN'T COME THERE!" Almost 5 minutes passed he didn't respond. ~Edith is typing... "Do u think he came home because it was Christmas?" "OF COURSE! WHY ELSE!" "Because I have your attention." "He doesn't know that! U are craaaaazy!" "I knew how to get him where I wanted him. Our chemistry drew him close. Now, the door is unlocked." "DON'T KILL MY HUSBAND!" "I won't until u allow me to. I'll let u finally have some say so" "WHY WOULD I ALLOW U TO!? I HAVE TO GO. LEAVE US ALONE!" "It's not that simple, u don't want me to leave u alone, not a wise choice. I want u, come give me what I want NOW, I don't care about him being home." "I can't come." "OK." I deleted the messages and logged completely off of the computer before walking in the kitchen, I couldn't find the journal any where so Jachin had to have had it. My body felt like he had taken it apart to explore my inner being and put it back together, I was weak from whatever he had done to me and couldn't shake him, this was absurd. I heard the car when he arrived, I had instructions to call Trudy for the children because in his own words, "U don't want me to call the barren slut!" I couldn't call. I had laid my phone in the bowl of rice and didn't want it because I didn't remember the details about how it got there but it still wouldn't even attempt to power on. I decided to leave before he got back so I drove the 15 minutes to pick them up however nobody was home and I couldn't call. I waited for an hour and had grabbed only my spare remote and no keys. I was halfway to Grandma's house but couldn't find the keys, so I only took the spare remote to the car and couldn't get inside if she wasn't home. After Trudy, Norman and the kids didn't show up I headed back home to a already drunk husband. When I went inside his anger was evident but he knew how to conceal it well, I told him I had gone for the children and they were gone. "Do u want this family or not?" "Are u involved with someone else, why would I not want our family?" "U don't act like it, I bust my ass for u! Why does Trudy have the children if u quit the job?!" "Why don't u seem happy to see me? U haven't even shown me any affection, after talking to Jay u just came right in concerned about your liquor!" "Japonica I know u WENT TO JAIL DRUNK! MORRIS TOLD DAD! HE SAID U WERE WASTED! And u know how they think, I could lose my security clearance! SO DO U WANT THIS? Don't start the drinking again trying to climb the roof thinking I'm there and hiding the kids in the closet from the insurgents because I can't go through it again! All I need u to do is stay put and take care of the kids, that's all!" His words were so harsh, he was face to face with me and couldn't smell the bottle of miniature cognac I had drunk for his own liquor, he squeezed my titties and touched himself, I knew what he wanted and was waiting for. "I just want to make Dad proud, that's all. I'm under so much stress and before I was just showing the signs of PTSD but now Brimmer said its progressing so I'll soon have to be discharged, doctor's orders. Just hang on baby, I won't let u slip away." He miscalculated his steps and stumbled toward the bedroom, "Come to bed, lock the door. We will go to the mall tomorrow and try to make it look like Christmas, I have to shop for my children." "All of them?" "JAPONICA! STOP THE RODERICK BULLSHIT! HE'S GONE!" The small amount of liquor I had consumed flowed to my gut and affected me in several different ways, I walked into the bedroom and saw him shirtless straightening the straps on the leather chaps, and wanted to puke, "Where's my strap?" "I haven't seen it, check the drawer." "I DID! I NEED MY STRAP!" My lip trembled before I spoke because I wondered how much stress he had been under later, it took too long for the soreness to go away and it was Christmas for fucking crying out loud! He would be so aroused while paying his game he could make twins! He snatched everything from the drawers while I watched and left them open, "I hate to use my hands Japonica, find the freakin strap before I tie your hands too! GET UNDRESSED AND LOOK FOR IT!" I started looking for it fully clothed but knew where it should have been. "I haven't taken it from the drawer, maybe u didn't put it back!" "TAKE THE CLOTHES OFF!" I untied the boots and watched him turn up the same shot glass Jachin had left on the night stand, "I should known u were drinking again, my shot glass was beside the bed, this time it was beside the door! Get on your knees!" "Don't, don't u want me to freshen up first?" "U JUST SHOWERED, I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THE GAMES!" I undressed and got on my knees on the edge of the bed, saw the zip ties he made sure to bring back with the liquor and put my hands behind my back. There was no emotion, no passion just penetration and each time he hurt his hand while spanking me he would hit me harder, he could definitely humble me. I thought he wouldn't stop, he just kept going and going telling me he was the Sky God and could see everything but he pulled out, made me suck him and went back inside before sticking half his thumb in my ass, his dick was so hard it didn't even feel real. I was use to it and whenever he saw my tears and it excited him more. When he finished he passed out still wearing the chaps and didn't even take the ties off of my wrists, they were still tied behind me and he would make it seem accidental when he was angry and not just mad. I looked at his watch it displayed the military time, 0100 hours. I decided to try to get up to try to cut the ties off after he didn't wake up when I tried calling his name, he threw his arm across me and ignored me. I laid that way until the sun came up, arms bound behind my back; he knew that brought on the depression. When I heard the front door unlock at 7 a.m I could smell Jachin, he had left with my keys the day before, came straight to the room and knocked loud waking Rod up out of his deep sleep, I was so scared. Rod saw my hands tied and didn't even pretend to have forgot, I laid in the only position I could, "Find my damn strap, TODAY!" He got up and opened the door wide enough to look out into the hall, "I brought y'all come coffee, whenever u get moving around I wanna talk to ya bout something." "Oh! Sure, thanks. I'm about to shower and I'll be out shortly, I couldn't sleep in if I tried to." "Cool. Tell Nikki good morning and I love her, I figured she was tied up so I didn't knock when I came home around midnight." "Sure thing, Baby, Jay said he loves u." "Tell him I love him too."