57

When Pef jumped out from the lake, Lithos sighed in relief. There was another delicious meal on the horizon!

The boy landed and walked closer, with slow and shaky steps, exhausted by the cold and depths no doubt.

"Hey there, Uncle. I thought you'd be long gone by now, enchanting some lady Guard at the Wall, with your charming looks and fabulous adventures." Pef wondered in a convinceful manner.

Lithos blinked, sort of expecting the other end of the joke. But no, the boy just sat down, tired and weary.

"You really think so?" he asked a bit confused.

Pef slumped on the bench, his words a bit slurred. "Sure. You're like, most amazing man this side of the continent. Share some wine and stories, take a girl for a flight, a few compliments and gifts...what am I saying, you must have had like a thousand wives. You should teach me, but later. Make sure no fox chews my boots while I sleep, please?" he asked and fell asleep while the neo knife poked itself out of the glove and spun around, no doubt looking for boot eating foxes.

Lithos cursed and went to make another tea. He still had maize for another decade, but perhaps some wine wouldn't hurt.

There wasn't anything to fight here anyway! Maybe he could train a few regiments?

He could come back in a century and chase out some beasts!

But if the boy wanted him to teach, about women...

That thing went in there, babies came out, much later. Wasn't that hard, even for a newborn Emperor.

Plus the boy was married! Wives always knew what to do.

Well, most of them anyway. That girl from the coast...she was even less competent than he had been.

Then one day, he found only half of her, out by the snow line.

Poor women, always dying at the first fever or beast.

A Major though...they were resilient. You would find them alive after thousands of years!

Sometimes, if there weren't big waves at their post.

Lithos sighed, unsure what to do.

Maybe take up the new smithing? Melt stones? He could find the copper metal so easy.

He scanned around for some hungry fox, then flew away, looking for the new wonder mineral. That night, a few mountains were drilled and cored out, and Lithos emerged with four rings full of minerals.

When Pef awoke, his uncle was again dusty and frayed, and a new hill had appeared next to the camp site.

"Lithos, what did you do?" The young Emperor asked, glancing around and taking out a mirror, then shaving himself with the soul severing blade.

The old Tyrant shivered and looked away. "Dug some copper, is all. Maybe we can smith a little?" he asked while avoiding to look at the impending disaster.

One tiny mishap, and the boy's head would fall off.

And those didn't grow back!

"Tcch! Don't cut me, silly knife! I'll go hunt something soon, be patient!" Pef complained as the neo blade nicked his neck and dripped some fresh blood on itself.

Lithos closed his eyes and prayed for the boy's soul. May he rest in the warm embrace of the General.

A few minutes later, the dead body started moving around, preparing another bath and then the cooking stoves.

"Begone soulless monster!" Lithos chanted, gathering qi to run away.

"Stop that superstitious nonsense, uncle. Me and this hungry puppy slept together already. With it deep in my chest. It's just playful and lusting for blood." the normal voice of his dead nephew spoke, sounding amused.

The old Earth Tyrant peeked with one eye, and then with his senses. They boy was still alive!

"That cursed blade was left in the Temple for a reason, young Pef. A dozen Emperors had died trying to wield it" he explained in a serious and warning voice.

"Maybe, but I'm lucky. Now, if you want to eat, go wash yourself. And inside the ears as well !" the insane nephew demanded unreasonably.

Lithos wanted to tell him off, but the prospect of another meal was too tempting.

He grumbled and cursed, but in the end he was clean and dry and wearing fresh clothes.

"This is meat from a Sky ranked King Morse. Killed it at 14 and advanced my rank past Nascent soul. Damn those eyes were so hard to drill through." Pef explained while slicing some fatty meat on a grill.

Lithos blinked a bit impressed. The boy was perhaps too brave.

"This white meat is from a Sky ranked Spider Queen, killed it at 16, and gained my own Sky rank. The melted look is from the Heavenly Lightning that struck down because of my skill. Luckily, Arachne had this formation above, and just a few bolts managed to pierce through. Damn those Heavens, who sends a hundred lighting bolts after a 16 years old boy?" Pef asked rhetorically, while frying the spider leg in some oil.

The Tyrant dug the water drops out of his ear. He must have heard wrong.

"And this is the famous Emperor Anaconda brain pane! The snake attacked some fort next to us, but I was quicker than Kuong Xi, and arrived first to snatch to kill. Had to use my poor wife Xie to beat the Morse tusk into the snake's eye, but she got a Sky rank for the kill, so she wasn't too mad at me. For a week. And the Kuong came and said he wanted the snake. No way! I'll give him a few teeth, since it was his province, but no more. Right?" Pef asked while looking at his uncle for confirmation.

Lithos nodded still a bit confused. He used his wife as a hammer? And it worked?

Maybe wives were more useful than he thought. And if she gained a rank, this way...she would live thousands of years!

The boy lucked out, getting so many years of free sex.

"I heard about that wave. Young Kuong had to conscript a new regiment. Next time he should get there faster, if he wants an Emperor ranked beast!" Lithos said in agreement, as the smell was too tantalizing to risk having the cook pack up and leave.

"That's what I said. And so, Ventu and me sparred a little, then he asked me to see my skill, even though I told him it was dangerous. And of course, his arm broke, even with his sword qi and Sovereign sword. It's not my fault! I know he's old and frail, but come on! That Tyrant rank means something, right?" the boy asked with pleading eyes, while waving a platter with divine food.

The Earth Tyrant gulped, as hunger and brotherly sympathy argued in his soul.

Ventu wasn't old and frail! Well, he was sort of old, but not frail at all!

Then again, if a mere Emperor broke his arm..."You're right, young Pef. Ventu needs to train more! It's deplorable. Inadmissible! Blaming a young boy for his weakness. Pass me the sauce, please. Is this garlic? Amazing!" the older brother

said while wolfing down the boy's kills.

Maybe he could take him somewhere more plentiful. And hunt for decades! With that neo knife, even an Emperor could hunt true beasts. And he could eat all he wanted!

"So, I kinda need to craft a dozen Blue Meridian Pills." Pef explained while holding the fragrant morse grill plate up.

Lithos blinked, not sure what the problem was. Well, except for the extraordinary amount of time and qi necessary to refine..."You want my help?" the old man asked with a frown.

Pef declined at once, waving his worries away. "Eh? Of course not, uncle. You're like wise and important, guarding the mountains. Just send me to some alchemist, to show me what to do. I'll pay him with meals and tea, even wine and..."

Lithos gulped, biting tenderly on the last bit of divine meat he will ever taste. He didn't know any alchemist still alive, except perhaps Saren...but he couldn't send the boy there, to be bewitched by some fire demon in woman form.

Those women were so beautiful that men fainted even looking at their veils.

Poor Saren never stood a chance, once the veils came off.

"Well, you could stay a hundred, or maybe five hundred years, I'll teach you basics. Your cooking skill might help too." Lithos offered a bit unsure.

"Ah, I wish I could stay, but my home Saint continent is just now building the Wall, and I'm the Emperor there. Can't stay away for too long, or other sects and beasts will come back and eat my people" Pef explained with a sad head shake.

It was true, he sort of needed to return for a while. He missed the wives so much.

"Oh. And you need the pill, or you'll never cross over to Tyrant. Your father failed his pill, and is stuck now" Lithos said, realizing the problem. Or so he thought.

"No, old Lithos. I need a dozen pills. On my continent, my wives will rule alongside me. I will make them Empresses. And then Tyrants. Saints! I don't want to lose the women I love. Just think about it. The General is a woman! A tier 8 divinity!

Wouldn't be great to have a wife like that?" Pef asked with pathos holding his hands towards the sky.

Lithos was a humble man though. He didn't wish for the Heavens. But a wife to grow old beside him...why didn't he do that before?

No wonder Saren hang on to his last wife. Sure, the fire disciples were thralls, toiling to produce fire qi for their heathen god, but their leaders were Tyrants and a few Sovereigns. Some older than even the Patriarch.

And the fire qi kept most illness at bay, like a weak Awakening.

Lithos eyes widened as he came to the obvious conclusion.

"So, I could have my own Empress wife? Maybe a Tyrant?" the Earth Tyrant asked with hopeful eyes.

"Well...doesn't cost me anything to pat your beloved and give her the method. Better look for at least an Earth rank though, as women are really fragile. Plus you'd need to care for and nurture her, and give her easy kills, like I did with the Emperor Anaconda. But, once she is Sky rank, you can have sex high in the air!" Pef proclaimed heroically, as he just had this idea.

The mile high club would be a real deal, especially if Lara...Well, perhaps bit later with the blue haired woman.

But Xie was certain to love the idea! Maybe Erin as well, one day.

Lithos murmured something in his palm, and a green cauldron appeared, inscribed with a dozen formations.

"You're a crafty little wordsmith, my young Pef! But I'm sold. Let's get us a flying sex wife!" the Tyrant exclaimed while setting his cauldron on the first free stove.

"Of course uncle, so Blue Hua Vera?" Pef asked politely, holding a long rolled algae in his hand.

"Yes, but not yet. 900 meters Blue Flying Vine!" Lithos demanded with his palm open.

And so, the two distant relatives crafted for a week, taking short breaks for food, until the lid of the cauldron popped with a whiff of plants and energized qi. Inside there were some 15 pills, blue in color and containing dense qi.

"Go on, nephew. Take one!" Lithos encouraged him.

Pef held a pill in his gloved hand, and sat down.

'You're all clear, Aspirant. Just clench your teeth afterwards. It hurts a little.' the glove lied with a serene voice.

Pef smiled and gulped the blue pill with a hopeful face.

It didn't hurt a little. Pain exploded inside Pef's body, the blue qi burning through his pathways, clearing obstructions and opening up a qi meridian.

It hurt not just the body, but the soul, and he saw only blue, inside and out.

He wanted to scream, but his jaw was clenched tight. He endured, while blue light came out of his eyes. Pef kinda compared it to the one time he was irradiated, and this hurt even worse!

After years of torment, which lasted perhaps one hour and 14 minutes, the pain subsided and Pef drew a pained breath.

"Wow, not a single scream...you're scary, little nephew." Lithos muttered a bit amazed.

'That's it, I'm painting you blue!' Pef yelled inside his mind.

'Check your ranking, Aspirant' the glove said in a dismissive tone.