A Mother's Worry

**HELEN'S POV**

(The day that Erickson and Arthur left)

"Be careful, both of you." I hugged my son tightly and thought about everything that could go wrong while they were on this trip. I couldn't stop thinking about what would happen with them going to the city for a cure.

"We will, Mom. We always are." Arthur smiled at me in a reassuring way, but it didn't help me to feel better at all.

"Don't take too many risks. Just do what you need to do and get home. We need all of us together and healthy again." I could feel the tears in my eyes as I thought about the possibility of losing them all.

"Don't worry, Helen, we will be back before you know it." My husband, Erickson, pulled me in for a hug as he spoke. He was squeezing me tightly and his arms were making me feel a little better. "We've made this journey several times before." He reminded me.

"Arthur?" At that moment, Catherine ran up to Arthur and jumped into his arms.

"It's alright, Catherine. You don't need to worry. We will be back in a few days. A week at most. We will make sure that we get the medicine for Addie. I won't let us fail." I heard my son reassure her in a soft voice and I tried to let my nerves settle.

"Come home soon, Arthur. Come home with Dad and the medicine. I don't want my family to be broken." With those words from my daughter, I knew that there was no calming down, at all.

"Don't worry, Catherine." Arthur's reassurance did nothing for either me, or Catherine.

A little while later, Catherine and I were standing on the porch of our home as we watched Arthur and Erickson riding out of town.

"Mommy, will they be able to save Addie?"

"I don't know, Catherine. I hope so, but I just don't know."

For the rest of that day Catherine and I did nothing but sit there with Addison to make sure that she was not getting any worse. Her fever was still raging, and she still wasn't waking up.

There was nothing worse for a mother than to just sit there and feel helpless while your child was suffering. There was nothing for me to do but to watch over her. I mean, I could put a cold cloth on her head, I could hold her burning hot hand and I could talk to her. That was all.

Catherine was usually very active and happy, but now she was just sitting next to her sister's bed with tears filling her eyes. I could tell that her heart was heavy, and she wouldn't be able to feel normal during this time.

She was just a girl that didn't need to go through this as well. Addison was just a little girl as well. I don't care what other people might think, thirteen was still too young to die.

Why was I always coming back to that? Why did I constantly think that my daughter was going to die? Most likely because that boy, John, fell sick in the same way. He was just like Addison, and he ended up dying without ever waking up. I couldn't bear to let that happen to my family.

I didn't leave Addison's side that first day that Erickson and Arthur were gone. I didn't leave her at all, and Catherine only left to eat the food that I had made in advance that was in the cellar.

The next day, though, I needed to take care of Catherine and the house. I couldn't let everyone else suffer just because I was suffering as a mother. That wasn't fair to anyone or anything.

I cooked the food that Catherine needed, but I didn't eat anything myself. I cleaned the house while Catherine was sitting with Addison. I started to sew more clothes that I knew Catherine was going to need for the winter. I worked on some hats and gloves that would help Arthur and Erickson with their travels to and from the city when it got cold outside.

I basically did anything and everything I could to keep myself out of Addison's room. My sitting at her side wasn't going to change anything and I knew it. Still, knowing that didn't help with the immense guilt that I was feeling.

"Please, please let Erickson find the cure." I found myself muttering these words at random times. I didn't know if it was just because I couldn't hold the words in any longer or because I heard Catherine's muttered words like they were a chant.

"Please let Daddy find the medicine. Please let Daddy find the medicine." I simply didn't know if I spoke because of Catherine, or if she spoke because of me, or maybe it was just that we were both subconsciously voicing our prayers.

I knew that the guys would be gone for at least three days. That was the amount of time it took to get to the city, sell their goods, and come home. That was the minimum amount of time it took. Sometimes it took longer, if they needed to wait on the weather or for another merchant to come back to their shop.

When I woke up on the third day since Arthur and Erickson were gone, I sighed and spoke to the empty room.

"How long will they be gone this time?" I didn't know if it would be the same as usual, or if they would be gone for days and days. That thought had me paranoid more than anything.

Sometime after I made lunch for Catherine, I found myself sitting on the porch while doing my sewing. In all actuality, I was watching the horizon just past the north edge of the village, waiting for my son and my husband to come home.

I was losing hope that they would be back today. I knew that it was just a lost hope and nothing more. That was, until I saw what looked like their wagon coming up the dirt road that led into town.

"They're back." I shouted at Catherine before it even registered in my head that there were more people than there should have been.