Ch. 39 - Misaki : Insightful guidance.

I excited my room, all dressed up for work. I haven't really regain back my strength, I still feel lightheaded and clumsy. But I already decided to get back to work as soon as I could stand on my own feet and bring back my usual routine, as I walk through the corridor of the apartment im staying at. I saw my dad standing at the main entrance again, my dad always stood there every morning, waiting for me, whenever I show up his mood lightens up. He kept inviting me to join him and have some fun, but I kept telling him I have work and I rarely miss a day of work. And that'll likely wouldn't change.

"Good morning, son!"

He proudly said.

"Oh, hey...dad..."

I apathetically replied.

Masao : "Working again, son?"

Akagi : "Yeah...

Masao : "Well, could you skip a day and just have a talk with me?"

He enthusiastically asked. This is the third time he asked me.

But the idea of skipping work for no important reason is not my thing, I didn't even think of my own health, why does he think I would skip for him?

"Sorry, but I already have plans for today..."

I replied.

"...Oh...

He said.

"Good luck at your work then..."

He was trying to force a smile but I could tell he is saddened by my attitude towards him. I just walk pass him without saying anything else, I still kinda hold a grudge against him, but the look of forlorn and gloom on his face is making me think twice and have different emotions. So I dont act mean to him, but I dont act friendly either, im not exactly keen on rebuilding my relationship with him. I just dont want to do anything with him at all.

Seeing his own son just walk pass him, turn him down and doesn't even bother giving him the time amd chance to redeem himself is a little bit too much for his heart to take. He is aware that his son had grew emotionally distant from him, he acts like he doesn't even knew who his father is. But knowing how much he missed on his life, growing up and entering maturity. He couldn't exactly blame him, he continues to wail for his helplessness and sorrow.

"Are you just gonna let him disrespect you like that?"

He heard the familiar voice of his wife coming from behind him. He turn around and saw his new wife, Kanae Akagi, the landlady of the apartment. Looking concern, unable to simply watch in his helplessness.

"I can't do anything, dear...I haven't been there for him almost his whole life. He's an adult now, he grew up without me.

He replied to his wife.

"You gotta he more assertive, dear. Even though its true you weren't there for him, you're still his father. You need to put in more effort and make your intentions clear to him, that you just wanted to make up for everything."

She told him.

Masao : "But how? He just keeps turning me down and I dont think he would even bother considering my invitations."

Kanae : "That's why you got to put in more effort, you need to convince him to come with you and take the chance to explain everything. Once he hears your story, then he might understand."

She get closer and hug her husband. assuring him everything will be fine, and all he need is to remain persistent and patient.

"Dont worry, I will help you with everything, and I knew what to do."

She said, he holds his wife's hand and regained his hope to win back his son.

- Mr. Rolands burgers. -

"Sorry Akagi, but you're not allowed to work yet, you dont look so good."

The manager of my workplace told me.

"Is that so?"

I replied.

"Yeah, you look tired and loosely oriented, I mean you wore the wrong pants."

I look at my pants and realize I've worn something different, I didn't notice when I left home and all the way here. I dont need any further clarification to know im not fit to work yet.

"Oh, I see...hehehehe."

I smiled awkwardly.

He patted on me on my shoulder and wished me a quick full recovery.

"Don't worry, we won't replace you."

He jokingly said.

I left the place and made my way home, I dont know what to do as I thought I would be working now. I might just drew something when I get home, I hope im still in touch with my sketches.

I excitedly got home, ready and looking forward to spend the rest of my day doing my passion. But as I reach my room door, miss Kanae was waiting for me, her arms crossed and looking stern rather than her usual happy and lively personality. I stood frozen for a brief moment as she gave me a cold glare, I don't know what to do about it, so I just walked towards my room door avoiding eye contact. As I reach for the knob, she approaches me and menacingly said.

"Hold on a minute, my dear stepson."

I slowly pulled back my hand and look at her.

"Come to my office, we need to talk."

The frightening aura she is casting off, urges me to simply agree. Im presumed it has something to do with how I act towards my father, her husband. I did not consent to her because she is my father's new wife, but rather that she is my landlady. She could kick me out if she wanted to.

We entered her office, I look around and saw a photo on her desk. It wasn't there before, I got closer and took a good look at it. It was they're wedding photo, they look so happy with one another, I wonder what prompt her to reconnect with my father.

We both sat down, across each other, neither of us talk to each other after the revelation that we're now a family.

"Akagi, I can't help but notice how you were ignoring your father. As you know, he is my husband and it concerns me as well."

She broke the silence with her statement.

"Do you know how hard it is for him to bear, the emotional pain and distress you are giving him?

As he just watch you turn your back on him so easily like that as if he's just a stranger?"

She added.

"Ma'am, I dont see any reason why the two of us should grow emotionally attached to one another after years of negligence."

I try to keep my point clear and straightforward as possible.

"Its not like that, Akagi. Your father didn't neglected you, and even if you did feel that way, we both understand. That's why he returned, he's here now to fulfill his duty and obligations."

She replied.

"Ma'am, the years I've had growing up have been cruel, I've been lonely and was always hoping my parents wound return. But thanks to that cruelty I learn to be self sufficient and it made me stronger, now I have survive pretty much on my own. I dont need anyone in my life to take the role of a father or mother."

I confidently told her, she just looks at me silently.

"And about my hospital bill he payed for, tell him I have a job. I can pay him in my next paycheck."

I added, as an act that I am now capable just by myself and I am no longer the son who he needed to tend to. I only receive a blank stare as a response.

As I was about to stand up and leave, what she said made me stop for a few seconds, curious to what she's about to bring up I decided to stay for a while. To defend my point and my pride.

"...If you think he took pleasure for leaving you, then you are horribly mistaken..."

She said.

"He always tell me how he felt during your birth, and how he expects you to be in the future. I wish he was here to tell you, but I doubt you're willing to stay in the same room as him. When he first held you after your mother gave birth to you, it was a breathtaking moment for him. He stare and adored you, happy on how you look so peaceful and innocent. Your parents were struggling financially at that time, despair grip their hearts and their relationship hang by a thread.

But you gave him hope, you gave him motivation, you help him set up a new goal in life, and that was to raise you as a good person. A successful, loving, caring and respectable man, not wanting you'd experience the same fate as he did. He went to work on cruise ships, because the payment is better, he knew he'd be away from you and your mother for months, but he still took the job to be able to provide for you..."

Even though her story hasn't ended yet, I already feel a bit guilty, I started to feel a stinging pain on my chest.

"...He told me that everyday at sea, he struggles to fight the loneliness and sadness being away from you. He resists the urge to come home, and works as hard as he can, he knew he had to remain steadfast. So after his contract, all the sufferings, the hardships, he hopes to held you again, and promise to never leave. But when he got home, your mother had took you away with another man, betraying your father, taking you, his beloved son away from him..."

It didn't took long before her melancholic voice tap into my feelings, filling me with emotions of regret and sorrow, her occasional sobbing, her teary eyes convinced me that I was wrong to simply judge him based on what I know without even trying to hear his story.

"...Akagi, son...

She called.

"...Please have some sort of regard for your father, if you still couldn't believe what he went through or get over your hate. At least respect him as a human being. Try to be more logical rather than emotional, just like he did."

She told me.

The way she lectures me, reminds me of how my grandparents use to to talk to me, the way they taught me about morals and virtues. I feel like opening up to her, to get a sense of idea to redeem myself.

"Miss Kanae, thank you for sharing me about this, I'll think about what you said, but I still have no reason to try and reconcile with him. Even if I wanted to, I dont know how, I've never experienced life with a father."

I reluctantly told her, a part of me always looks up to having a father or a parent, but how can I make sure I live up to his expectations?

"Its not that complicated Akagi, just be clear with your thoughts and go with the flow. Neither did he had any experience raising a son, but he is willing to take his chances, if given, to do his best and be a father to his only son. Like going shopping or something that could be a hobby for you two..."

She replied, but my thoughts then started to drift and got bewildered as I just heard her refer to me, as his only son. I started to wonder if I have any siblings from her, or how far they've gone with their marriage.

"Excuse me, but...why did you bring him closer to me? Wouldn't it be better if he could spend all his time with you and your child?"

Her expression looks perturbed and she started to get nervous upon hearing my question. I might be a little too straightforward and vague about it.

"...I wasn't able to give him a child, im suffering from infertility..."

I think I just intruded to something they keep personal.

"...However, thank goodness your father is so loving, he still remain by my side despite this fact. I thought he was gonna leave me as I couldn't grant him what he always wanted to have, but he never judge me for it. Rather he accepted and loved me for who I am...

But I must say, im an insecure woman. Childless in our 10 years of marriage, he would always spend more time working outside of my reach, knowing he had nothing that could keep him at home. I knew I had to do something, but I dont have any sort of leverage since I am such a failure for being a woman. That's why I was more than happy when I learned of you..."

She then stood up from her seat and approach me, then she drop on her knees at my side, which startled me and causes me to panic. She begged and with sadness in her voice said...

"I love your father, Akagi...no one has ever cared for me, cherish me and accepted me like your father. I dont want him to leave my side, I always fear he would get another woman pregnant and left me for her. All I wanted, is to be loved and accepted, and have a happy family with him."

Maybe this is the reason why she wanted me to be in good terms with my father, sounds like am I being used as leverage, but as I observe, she did say they'd been married for a decade now, yet they're still together. She is a faithful, well mannered and well educated woman, unlike my biological mother, even though she is using me as leverage to fulfill her dreams with my father, I dont care. Her intentions are noble and clear, she is not greedy and vicious like my mother, she is honest, humble and kind. So I thought for the sake of everyone, I will try to give my father a chance. The amount of pressure im feeling, their happiness and marriage rest upon me to reconcile with my father, I dont want to be the cause of a another divorce. I hold her hand and promised to help her achieve her dreams, I had to shallow my pride and forgive my father, he doesn't sound so bad and maybe things would be different to what I anticipated. She was really happy when I agreed to her request, then I asked her if she has any photo of my father that she could lend me. Without questioning, she happily gave me one from her drawers, I look at it and thought of an idea.

After I left her office, I went straight back into my room, grab my sketchbook and pencils, place his photo down the table and drew it.