Ch. 32 - Family talk. (2)

Marriage : Love is the reason, lifelong friendship is the gift. Kindness is the cause. Til' death do us apart is the length.

These are the wise words of Fawn Weaver.

Everyone has always dreamed of finding a person to which build lifelong friendships, then as time goes an intimate feeling is created between the two of them. Everyone has imagine to date someone for years, someone to fully commit to, someone they're willing to spend time with, to exchange vows, to shower with affection and to face the future together.

Every person had a moment in their life were they imagine to tie the knot with their dream partner. Marriage is a wonderful thing and no doubt the best day for every person. It rewards us with everlasting happiness and hope, becoming the whole world for someone, showering them with love and affection.

However marriage also has its risk, a marriage requires each individual to have trust, respect, mutual love and affection to each other. They shouldn't hide anything from their spouse, they should remain faithful and support each other. And it doesn't always end well.

Marriage doesn't exactly gives you a guarantee that you will be happy with the person who choose for the rest of your life. Most marriages these days ended up in divorce, whether its because of failing to provide, failure to satisfy your spouse or financial situation. Relationships fail, but the main reason for high divorce rates is infidelity. Couples simply fall out of love with one another, whether its because they found someone better or they simply got tired of each other ; It is absolutely scary. And these days alot of people no longer wants to get married.

Marriage is risky both for the husband and the bride. But men suffered more on a divorce. This is not only my opinion, I saw how my father suffered from it. I also experience being cheated on, my ex-girlfriend and childhood friend, Misaki. Cheated on me 5 years ago. I was traumatized on how she betrayed me after what we spent doing together. What's worse is her friends actually defended her saying her affair is justified. We live in a society with ridiculous double standards on men. They always worry about womens emotional and mental health, but they never did the same to men.

Being a man is so hard in todays society. Being a man means no matter what you do its never good enough, women demand alot of things from men and expect us to obey everything they say without question. Women can fail as many times and act cute like nothing went wrong, but when a man accidentally made a little mistake you're considered incompetent. Women thinks they can say whatever they want and boss us around, they can discriminate us and shame us and they thinks its alright. But when men can't say anything that a woman might find offensive. Being a man means your mental health, does not matter. They always say to be more open but when we open up our emotions they just judge us, look down on us and say "Man up and walk it off."

The same mentality applies to marriage and divorce. Even if its the wife who had an affair, she can still take his husbands house, which he took a lifetime to achieve, all of his money and his kids as if he won't feel devastated about it. And society thinks its alright cause she's a women. I grew up with divorced parents, when I was just a kid my mother told me my father was going away because he didn't love us. But in reality she cheated on my father's coworker and when my father figured it out. He filled for a divorce, he no longer care about my mother, he only plans to have me and raise me, cause I was his biological son.

But the court grants my mother everything, the house, my dad's savings and as my primary custodian. Talk about being unfair. I used to wonder why my mother would always invite this one guy onto our house when my dad is not home and ask me to play outside until a certain time. Now that I know I am disgusted, the way she lied to me and the way she try to brainwash me to think my father was a bad person and left us because he fell in love with somebody else makes me feel extreme hatred and disgust.

"What's exactly keeping you from getting married?"

My stepmother asked.

"I want to focus on my career first, and I wanna make sure my financial assets are safe."

I replied, she continues to ask.

"What do you mean by that?"

At this point I feel like I should finally tell them the two main reasons why I dont want to get married, but I try to calm myself first before I lose control of my head and spurt something she might not like.

"Mom, I have two main reasons as why I dont wanna get married."

Both mom and dad lean closer to me, they've been asking me the same question for months now and I haven't really answered it in a straightforward manner.

"The first reason is I wanna have a stable career and my own home so I would be able to provide. I dont want my potential wife to work a job."

"Ooh~ You want a full time housewife, I see. That's a valid reason but dont you already have all of that?"

I wasn't finish on my first reason, I was gonna say that my potential wife might cheat on me with her coworkers or sold her body to the landlord if we cannot pay the rent. I read it on a doujinshi, and I took it very seriously and personally. But I think telling them that my reason came in from a doujinshi, they'll think im stupid.

"Yes I do have all of it, which brings us to my second reason."

"Alright, go on."

They lay their backs on their seat and looks at me steadily.

"I feel like my house and other financial assets are much safer when im single, I fear like an ex-wife could take all of it from me when we get divorced."

I told them.

"I dont wanna lose something it took me a lifetime to achieve."

I added in a angry manner.

Masao and Kanae look at each other and giggled.

At first I thought they're making fun of my reasons, but then my father started to talk.

"Son, if you wanna protect your financial assets, then sign a prenuptial agreement so that you can still keep whats yours after a divorce."

I never really thought that it even existed in the first place.

"And I know your still traumatized by what your mother did, and what she did. What was her name again?"

He asked me.

"Misaki."

I replied.

"Yes, because of what they did to you, you think that every women is the same. But you'd be surprised to what your mother's about to say."

He nods at Kanae, signaling her to lecture me.

"You see, Akagi. It doesn't matter if you're in a poor financial situation or not. It doesn't matter what you're current situation is if you have such a decent women."

She said.

"If you have a decent women as your wife, she will always stood by your side. She will remain faithful and loving to you no matter how much you lose or suffered. Your problems are her problems as well, your situation or status doesn't matter, a decent women will remain with you through ups and downs."

She added, its something I didn't expect to hear but I think its what I needed to hear. It some what makes me feel calm and a bit relief to hear that.

"When the first marriage fail, it doesn't mean all is lost. If she is really meant to be your soulmate and lifetime parther. Then nothing can really break the bond you formed, in fact your relationship will even get stronger."

"I see..."

"And don't lose hope when that happens, in fact be grateful when people reject you. Because you will be forced to do everything yourself, be able to learn everything and be self reliant and self sufficient. Until you meet the right person who will accept you."

He added, he then holds Kanae's hand.

"Look, if I stayed with your mother. I wouldn't be able to meet Kanae."

Kanae smiled and blushed at my father.

"Your mother and I only stayed for 3 years before she cheated on me because of financial difficulties. Kanae and I have been happily married for more than 8 years now and we're still staying strong."

Kanae hugged my father.

"Yeah, if only I wasn't infertile we would have many kids already."

They snuggle at one another and laugh.

I guess they're right. Nothing comes in too easy, life isn't perfect but you gotta get the most out of it.

"I guess so, but I wasn't strongly willed as you, dad."

"Dont tell me that! Your my son, you can do it too. And don't rush on getting married, take your time to find the right women before settling down with her. You're still young so I understand on how you value your freedom."

"Okay dad, I'll do what you say. Thank you."

We went on to finish our meal and watch movie together at the living room. The whole day pass without me having any sudden mood swings or flashbacks from my past. I didn't feel troubled sleeping that night as well, after hearing their wise words, after their lecturing. I feel a bit motivated to try dating someone, but the question is who do I start with?