HIV Status

Before we engage in sexual activity, she insisted that we needed to know the result of the HIV test first. That night, we had one of our signature makeout sessions together. It was intense and full of fervor. While I caressed her breast and sucked her nipple, neck, back, buttocks, and laps, she teased me and sucked my nipple with her tongue. She also sucked her own nipple.

It made her uncomfortable whenever I kissed her laps, so I focused my attention on her inner laps while she softly moaned. I was putting my best foot forward and trying to completely seduce her in the hopes that she would reconsider her decision and allow us to have sex later that night.

She made hysterical movements with her hips as I kissed and sucked on her fleshy laps, squeezing her buttocks and breasts in the process. She was moving hysterically. She pressed me up against her crotch and moaning audibly as she did so held me tightly against her. Her hips were hitting me intermittently.

I was able to perceive her wetness as it dripped down her laps and soaked through her pants. I reached for her pants, but she didn't do anything to stop me. She just stood there. She mustered up the strength to utter a whisper as she let out a pant that went about halfway down her laps. "I beg of you, don't!" I humbly request that you..."

The next morning, chifawu and I went back to the lab to get the result of our hiv test.  I had reached my elastic limit in the wait for sex. If not for a special effort, I wouldn't have restrained myself from thrusting into her last night.  

It was so close, but for her pleas. She had lost all resistance as she almost gave in to my lustful maneuvering. If not that I had earlier promised her I wasn't going to pressure her into sex before seeing the hiv result, I would have bang.ed and popped open all sealed veegee! 

As usual, we were made to wait for hours for the male lab scientist to come. When he finally did, he invited the attendant to meet him at his office. Few minutes later, she came out, searched for the result and called on chifawu to collect hers. 

I waited patiently for mine, but when she found it, she took it straight to the lab scientist in his office rather than to me. I exchanged glances with chifawu. Chifawu opened hers we both scanned through it. 

The top of the page had her personal details; name, age, sex, address and so on. The mid page had some details that require someone in the field to understand; blood group, rhesus factor, blood count rate and other terms I couldn’t understand. 

The bottom page had the summary of the test. I saw the bottom line, clearly written at the bottom page;  Status: Negative She was hiv negative, she smiled satisfactorily like she already anticipated it.  

But why didn’t the lady hand over mine to me as she did chifawu’s? My basic instincts became alert.  Something was wrong somewhere. The lady came out of the office and informed me the lab scientist wanted to see me at his office. 

“what is wrong?” I asked her but she shrugged her shoulders and motioned me towards the door leading to the inner office. 

I walked into the office and the lab scientist, holding my result in his hands, motioned me to sit opposite him. I sat, with my stare still fixed on him as he studied the result keenly. 

I waited for what seemed like eternity before he finally talked to me. “you know that everything happens in life for a reason, and god knows why he allows some things to happen to us from time to time. . .” 

What the fvck is this guy talking about? “are you a Christian?” he asked and I nodded my head, wondering what the talk show was all about. 

Why was he treating me with caution?  “then you must be conversant with the story of job. . .” he continued. I was impatient!  He went on about how job suffered some persecution only because god allowed it and how the end turned out better. . . 

“This is not the end of the world.” He said as he handed the result to me. “it’s actually the beginning of a new era for you.” “You are hiv positive.” My world shattered around me, the room became darker and I could hardly breathe. 

I was sweating profusely as I scanned through the result. I knew where to search, I jumped all the technical jargons written on the page and took my eyes straight down the bottom page where the status was written. Status: positive. 

The lab scientist tried to encourage me, letting me know the next necessary steps to take, but I wasn’t listening. The only thing that rang in my mind was that I was going to die. Of course, death was what awaits me. . .

…………………………………………………..

I left the lab disheartened and frustrated.  Chifawu must have noticed that something was wrong as she focused her gaze on me when I sat close to her at the waiting room. 

She grabbed the result from my hands and gazed down at the bottom of the page was. She dropped the paper like it contained the virus and shifted away from me. A lot of things went on in my mind; prominent among them was the fact that I was going to die!  

Chifawu sat up from the chair we both were. She remained standing while I sank deep into a remorseful state. Tears clustered round my eyes and I wondered what was next for me. 

I bent and picked the lab report, folded it and tugged it inside my pocket, stood up and left the lab, while chifawu maintained a safe distance away from me. Her actions were weird and awkward as she avoided sitting in the same sit with me as we boarded a cab back to my room. 

I collapsed at the bed as we entered my room. My head was spinning so fast that I could hardly concentrate, I felt like death was knocking at my door. In my state of apathy, chifawu made some incoherent utterance and headed towards the door. 

I turned and watched as she left my room, picking the few of her belongings in my room as she left. “Where are you going?” I managed to ask. “back to the lodge.” She informed me and left.

 ______________________________________ 

I tried to wrap my head around the concept of living with hiv. I was a member of the hiv awareness group at camp and I had learnt a lot from the few lectures I attended. My first challenge was to get past this denial stage and embrace the fact that I was hiv positive. 

Then I was to seek for ways to lead a healthy life as a hiv positive guy. This would be difficult, if not impossible.   

I couldn’t sleep that night. i kept thinking of how I could have possibly contracted the virus. Sex of course. I had learnt of the other possible means of contracting the deadly virus while at camp; blood transfusion, use of unsterilized equipment, mother to child. 

I knew the only way I must have contracted hiv was through sex. It has been my undoing right from my school days, now its going to bring an abrupt end to my life. Tears filled my eyes as memories jugged through my mind. Who did I get this hiv from?

………………………………………………..

The following morning, when I tried to reach Chifawu by phone, she didn't pick up. I tried to reach out to her via text message, but she did not respond. Already, she was behaving weird toward me. I can empathize with how she is feeling, but her icy response was uncalled for.

I did not leave my room at any point during the course of the day. The following day, I went to the lodge to inquire about Chifawu's well-being. She came out to see me and made sure to keep her distance while we were talking.

In reality, she was treating me as if I had a contagious disease. Or something that is even more terrible than a plague. You have been ignoring my calls and acting distant toward me, which is very unfair. I had no choice but to reveal everything to her.

It was defined that we would fall in love, and I required that physical proximity more than ever before. I required her presence by my side, and the last thing I required at this juncture was the cold shoulder she was giving me. "we need to talk." She said as she pointed me in the direction of a quiet corner in the lodge. "I'm sorry, but I just can't keep up with this relationship."

As I walked away from the lodge later that day, I was overcome with a feeling of hopelessness and dread. Chifawu had made it abundantly clear to me that I should avoid interacting with her in any way. Who in their right mind would do something like that? No phone calls, no communication of any kind, just stay away from each other! She had previously warned me, and then she abruptly left me at the lodge while I was there.

When I finally got back to my room, I went straight to the bed. My eyes welled up with tears for the second time that day, and they streamed freely down my cheeks. I made an effort to picture the life that lay in wait for me. It was more than I could take in any way! The stigmatization I was already experiencing at the hands of chifawu had the potential to become even more severe. It did get worse.

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