21 January 2023

I'm not writing this because I tremendously miss you or ache anymore. I'd love to say I'm over you, but it's more of a numb feeling right now. I'm writing this because it finally makes sense to me why I fell so hard.

We spoke a lot.

You were there when no one else was.

You were the first person, outside of my family to dedicate so much time to me.

I found your feelings strange. Alien almost.

How is it possible to fall so that fast? But looking back I think I fell with you. Except I hadn't even noticed.

We would never be happy together. But I still wish that wasn't the case often.

You had this switch. Sometimes I couldn't recognise you. You were cruel. You were lovely. You drove me mad. When I look back at it I'm sure we made the right decision, but i wish my heart wasn't so involved.