One- Faking Perfectionism

4:30am.

No one would never wake up that early, even for school. Yet I was in a rush to get up. Most people procrastinate to the last minute before they get up to go to school. I however wake up at that ungodly time in the morning just so I can quietly get ready before my father wakes up. He's dead asleep at that time, usually from all the beers he drank the night before. Luckily, I can hear the loud snores confirming his deep slumber.

I quietly take my cold shower and step out to get dressed and ready for the day. I wear my typical black ripped long jeans with a standard band crop top and oversized grey knitted sweater. When I check myself in the mirror, I see my short blond wavy hair dripping on the carpet, so I quickly dry my hair and my face.

God my face is so pale, I never get any sun.

Next makeup.

My whole body is writhing in pain from the bruises my dad decided to place on me last night. I feel the black and blue fresh brushes throbbing as dab at my skin to cover them up with foundation. However, most of the bruises are centered towards my torso which I still cover with makeup because of my paranoia if someone happened to see it.

I put on makeup on my face and slip into my dirty red high top converse shoes that every girl seems to have. I slowly tip toe to the kitchen where my bag is laying on the counter. My dad always goes threw it to make sure I am keeping up my grades. I grab it slowly not wanting to make a sound and ever so carefully slide it onto my back.

I make my way towards the door and peek into the living room to make sure my father is still sleeping but to my relief he is. I grab the keys and open the door carefully and lock the door behind me. That was to nerve racking. I stuff my keys into my bag and start my walk to university.

On my way there the sun is beating down on me, I hate the heat but it's almost summer. I check my phone and it's 6:30 two hours since I woke up…

Since my class is at 8:30 I must get there early and do my homework. It's probably the only peace I get during the day. However, something feels different today. I feel like I'm being followed...

I turn around and see no one there. I pull out my key and put my hand on the pepper spray in case anyone tried to get to close. I just kept walking faster.

And faster.

Once I get to the university it should be fine.

I bolt fast as my legs can carry me and I make it to my university…. but I feel like I'm being paranoid. what if no one was following me? I didn't technically see anyone. I know my neighbor isn't the best... but it isn't the worst either. No time to think as I catch my breath and sit down outside one of the university buildings. I quietly do my homework while no one else is around. 8:30am comes around and we all are seated in the classroom. I'm usually popular in my class and make friends quite easily. I honestly like making friends. I usually can just copy the persons personality and make it my own until they like me. If I don't do that... I think I'm scared that They will find out that I don't have a real personality. That my real me is nothing. That I'm everything my father thinks I am. But it doesn't matter even if that is the way I feel…I don't want to be weak.

I want to be perfect.

After the class ends, I say goodbye to my two best friends Onyx and Alexander and rush outside to make it to my full-time job. My feet seem to carry me to the street, and I wait the light.

"Look who's here," I hear from behind me.

"Hi Elijah," I say sarcastically.

I hate him so much, he's always so rude to me. I can't stand anything about him, from his black straight hair that reaches his shoulders to his annoyingly straight jawline and freaked face.

"Better run over to your job before you get fired! Oh, wait if you get fired daddy will just get you a new one," he says.

"Piss off why don't you! I know your just jealous," I snarl at him before crossing the street. I know no one would be jealous of me in reality but I couldn't just say nothing. My dad only got me that job so it would look good for him. Elijah is also too quick to judge like always.

"Shut up no one's jealous of you!! You just think by yourself all that! You're lucky your father cares about you so much because without him you're a nobody and no one would even want to be friends with you," he says following far behind me.

"Whatever I got to get to work anyways!" I take off as soon as the light turned green not even pausing to look back and just start running towards my job. I know he's right in my heart, but it still hurts to hear. The only thing people saw when they looked at me was my father and how great he is and how much he "cares."

I stopped running as soon as I saw Elijah out of sight and continue my way to work. Elijah was Alexander's brother, but Alexander was the nicer of the two. I don't know how he puts up with him. Once I got to my job I felt out of breath. I clock in and start my shift. I work at a doctor's office across from my dad's hospital. My dad, Dr. Maxwell, is a famous doctor around the town. He saved the mayors kid by chance and ever since then he's been popular around the town we live at.

I work all morning and see some classmates come in and out. My shift ends at 10pm so I count the minutes till I get to walk home in the dark.

As soon as the office clock hits 10, I pack up my scrubs and help close the building for the night. I usually walk fast because I hate walking home alone in the dark. My dad usually works for at least another hour, and I don't want to wait in the hospital lobby. Get home. Make dinner.

As I go past the school, I feel an all too familiar feeling to the one this morning. I pick up my feet and run fast even though I know I have a long way to go. I hear footsteps heaving behind me chasing me.

I push my body to the limits running as fast as I can, but I feel a sweaty palm cover my mouth as I am yanked off the sidewalk into a neighborhood ally that connected my neighborhood to the neighborhood next to mine. I can feel them gripping my wrist hard as I scrape my feet on the ground attempting to kick myself free. I manage to break my arm free fast enough to grab my key to spray the pepper spray at their face. Once I heard screams, I pushed them off and ran as fast as I could not stopping till I hit my house. I locked the door behind me and looked threw the peep hole to find no one following.

I can't stop my body from trembling… "who was that… what do they want with me," I start to tear up as I felt the emotion dive into me, and I couldn't stop my tears from coming out.

After a while I seem to pick myself up and wipe my tears away with my shirt. "My face probably looks a mess …" I sigh taking off my shoes to go upstairs until I hear a knock on the door. Panic rushed through and I went behind I wall terrified the man that attacked me found out where I live.

"OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR!"

It was not the man who attacked me but worse, my dad.

I quickly go to the door and unlock it. As soon as my dad lays eyes on my face that was covered with runny mascara, he slaps my face so hard my face swells up immediately.

"Who the hell where you expecting?" He scoffs…You're such a disappoint, if only you didn't exist. Everything would be ok" He steps in the house and pushes me out of the way before seeing my dirty footprints from my shoes running into house.

"Wait no no I'm sorry I didn't mean-"before I could even get the words out of my mouth my dad's fingers wrap around my throat so tightly I couldn't breathe.

OH GOD

Am I going to die?

Is he going to kill me?

More tears puddle out of my eyes until I see my vision going dark.

"Someone… help… me…"