The different flavors

Love stories occupy the majority of the media. Some are with happy endings (that if there was an ending at all) and some were not as lucky. As you live, you might came to learn that there are different types of love. The one you receive from family, from friends and from a lover. People pay much attention to the latter as if the other two meant nothing but that is not true. They do that because that one affects a great deal than the others, or so the majority thinks. I, as a part of people, thought about this topic a lot (not really that long but ever since I got this idea on my mind I did not seem to break free from that curse). The curse had a question, what maker romantic love different from friendly love with the opposite gender? I have no clue how this question came to my mind but ever since it did, it invaded all my thoughts. So I had to find an answer or create one at the very worst.

I actually asked my students about this topic; somehow I thought I could use some help. The answers were shallow and some said there is no difference; there will never be a possible friendship between opposite genders. To them, it starts always as friends but you end up either as a couple or total strangers. Sad! I would not let them keep this sad, miserable two choices idea in their brains, would I? Finding an answer has become a must after hearing these opinions. As a result, here what I have created (because finding the answer seemed to take longer time and I would not allow this idea to eat any more brain cells)

Both scenarios have two participants of different gender, a male and a female. What makes different results even with the same conditions offered is the following:

When two people are romantically involve, need/want comes first. When you are involved with someone in a romantic way, you will find yourself wanting to have the all to yourself. Want here includes satisfying physical and mental needs. The choice of the partner happens accidentally and you cannot oblige your heart to change for any reason. When it beats for someone, then they are the one no matter how your brain thinks. Regardless of the image you had in mind, it might all go wrong because your heart wanted so.

On the other hand, when you are involved with someone in a friendly way (friendly not meaning nice and kind but a friend; more like a best friend thing), you do not find yourself eager to satisfy any needs. Respect comes first. I know that some might think 'oh, if we are besties then we do not respect each other ha-ha' that is bullshit! (Sorry for the word but it should be said as many other words in later chapters –if you survived till then-). I think best friends respect each other the most, the cover they put saying no respect is a sign of being besties is just an internet talk. Because you respect them, they come first in your plans. Because you respect them, you act yourself in front of them. You are comfortable around because of the respect you have for them.

In a romantic relation, you sometimes cannot tell the other side all the things that comes to your mind. For some reasons –that no one seems to name- you find yourself polishing your thoughts and behavior. For some reason, you oblige yourself to look the best in front of them, impress them and make them brag about you as if you are a property. I am not saying that that is wrong, yet that is the truth. We want to appear as perfect in front of the one we love that is the result we are bleeding for. When you love someone, you give up many things and they do the same for the relation to work and for both parties to be equal. That sounds unfair and cruel but that as well if fair. That is how it works and nobody is going to judge you nor to blame you because they did the same at a certain time and they are still doing it.

However, when it is your best friend, you just need to be you. There is no need for pretending, proofreading and the sudden change. There is just two different or similar –there was never a rule anyways- people having fun together. You can act stupid, dull and cringe whenever you feel like it. They do the same and nothing changes the way they feel towards you. You can dress like a homeless and they would laugh about you. You would cry in front of them and they would laugh at you before they swear to break the one who made you like that's neck. They are furious at you and you will know they will be back to you. You will break up at some times and your heart will ache but something inside makes you believe they are coming back to you. The best friend love is much more pure than the one you have with your lover. It is only about giving from both parties and no one is expecting to receive.

There is one thing I could not just turn a blind eye on. It is a true story that the best love stories are those that started as best-friends but they are the ones that hurt the most if anything went wrong. The option of 'there is no friendship between a male and a female' is true but with an exception. Best-friend of that kind has one side that is holding back for the relation not to be ruined. They held back their feelings when it started to develop because they knew if it goes wrong, nothing would fix the damage.

'I friend you and that is how I tell you that I love you'