Friends

*9 years ago*

“I would like it if we become friends, Martha.” Layla smiled at me. “Sure, let’s be friends from now on.” I smiled at her then we hugged each other as a start of our friendship.

“Martha, is it okay with you?” I snapped out of my thoughts and asked myself why don’t I give myself another chance at friendship?

“Okay, let’s be friends.” I accepted her request. I wasn’t worried because l was betrayed by someone especially Layla but I’m just worried that she might die early because of me. “Yay! We’re going to be best of buddies from now on!” She was so happy that she hugged me with all her might.

“Can’t breathe.” I choked out. “Oh sorry.” She spoke. The bell rang and we got out. After that, I asked her for her schedule.

She passed it to me and I analyzed what her next subject is. “Huh, we have the same class schedule except for the next two subjects today.” I told her and so, I led her to her next class.

A few minutes later, we have arrived at her next class which is Arts. I said that I would see her later at Biology and turned to walk to my class.

Along the way, I kept thinking about when I got to school a week after their funeral. At that time, I was thinking if I was the only reason that they died. All these taunting words and rumors pointed at me, little by little it was getting onto my head. Then somehow, I started to believe them after a few months of torment. Otherwise, why would I still be alive when they died in the crash?

#######

[Music Class]

“Okay, class is dismissed., you can go now.” Mrs. Anderson said. After making sure that my classmates left the classroom, I walked up to Mrs. Anderson and asked her if I could use the music room.

“Yes dear, you could use it anytime, except when other classes are using it or when the school’s closed.” She spoke. “Thank you so much, Mrs. Anderson.” After talking to Mrs. Anderson, I sat on a chair and grabbed a guitar. I let my fingers strum some tunes.

As I strum the guitar, I remember a song that I would always sing with my mom. I think it was about a few years ago.

I stopped midway but somehow, I didn’t notice anyone coming into the music room until they clapped their hands. I tensed up and turned around to see who the person was. I noticed that Hayden was standing a few steps away from me and I froze because I remembered that he’s Britney’s boyfriend.

“Wh-what are you doing h-here?” I stuttered and I almost smacked myself for being stupid for asking a question. Now I’m going to get beaten up again for asking a question to HER boyfriend. I closed my eyes and held my breath as I prepared myself for a smack on the face.

“It is my free time. This is my usual place to hang out.” He said and I looked at him surprised by how gentle his voice is, maybe this is the calm before the storm… Right?

I quickly masked my surprised expression so that he wouldn’t notice immediately.

“How about you? What are you doing here?” I stayed silent and I looked at him expecting him to be angry. But when I looked into his eyes, his eyes held warmth, gentleness and he looked worried? Why is he like this though? Just like in my dream last night, he was worried.

But the thing is, I don’t even know what he was worried about or why he should worry about something related to me. I can’t assume that he was worried about me because I don’t want to be a person who randomly assumes things.

So, after a while, I finally answered him. “I asked my teacher if I could use this room so that I could play the guitar during my free time.” I told him in a monotone as if I’m a robot. “It’s okay, I can leave if you want some space.” I grabbed my things and I put them inside my backpack.

As I was about to leave through the door, something stopped me, again. But this time, the thing that stopped me from leaving is a hand that is grabbing onto my wrist. I looked at Hayden cautiously, asking myself why he stopped me from leaving him alone.

Realizing this, he immediately let go of my wrist and explained.

“Uhm… It’s okay, you don’t have to leave, you can continue what you are doing and if you don’t mind, I want to listen to you sing and play the guitar.” He spoke the words sincerely and I was amazed by how he wanted to hear me sing and play an instrument.

It was actually the first time after my family’s death that someone has had their attention on me or let alone, my talents. ‘Maybe because he wanted me to lure into some sick trap to torture me with Britney.’ I can’t help but think about this since he looked so sincere. So, I agreed to play a song despite my thoughts.

I was happy that finally, there’s someone who showed appreciation for my talent. I am literally crying in my head but what I am showing now is the opposite of that. I grabbed the guitar and started strumming some tunes. I let myself get lost in my own world of music.

#######

I was in the middle of a song when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I almost jumped out of my seat in fear but I remembered that I was with Hayden.

“Hey, sorry if I scared you.” Hayden apologized. “I just want to ask if you don’t really mind but I’m curious, what happened to your family?” I was flabbergasted. He was the first person to ask me what happened to my family.

“I mean, I know that many rumors are going around our school, but we all know that not all of them are true. I want to hear your side of the story.” He explained.

I looked at him, debating whether to tell him what happened or not.

He looked at me as if he knew what I was thinking and spoke. “Look, I know it is hard for you to open up, and if it is okay for you, I will wait until the time comes for you to open up to me. Okay?” He smiled at me reassuringly, and when he did that, I feel comforted by his words. For the first time, since my family passed away, I feel comforted by someone that I barely knew.

I know that I should be cautious around him but I can’t help but feel a bit comfortable around him. A peaceful silence grew around us. Then the bell ringed as the end of our current period.

“Well, thank you for spending time with me, I appreciate it since I was used to being alone during my free time.” I looked at him with a small smile on my face which I haven’t had ever since my family’s death.

“No problem and you really have a nice voice. Let’s hang out next time, yeah?” His voice brought me out of my thoughts. He looked at me expectantly but I kept silent, not knowing whether I should accept his offer or not.

“So... Friends?”