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Miserable Wanderer

A massive nerd dies and gets reincarnated, his excitement gets the best of him. The first words he hear are "Get to work slaves!" When he looks around and sees grotesque figures mining with oversized pickaxes his stomach drops to his colon. [Multiverse fanfic, starting in Warframe.] "Status." [Status displaying] Race: Grineer[100%] Level: 0 Status points Available: 0 Stats: Vitality: 1 Strength: 1 Agility: 1 Intellect: .3 Mastery Rank: 0 [Inventory] Strength Quote. "USELESS DISGUSTING MAGGOT FILTHY WORM WHY ARE YOU BREATHING MY AIR !"-Councilor Vay Hek The cosmos weeps at this mans fortune. A distant "FUCK MY LIFE" can be heard Cover not mine THERE WILL BE MULTIVERSE TRAVEL JUST NOT IN THE TRADITIONAL SENSE.

SoupHarbinger · Videospiele
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85 Chs

Smooth Sailing..

The soothing sound of the ship careening towards Mars nearly puts me to sleep but I'm not falling for anymore of the systems tricks..

If I end up in Darksouls or something it would be very unpleasant and annoying, especially when my focus is what lies ahead.

Mars in warframe is a beginner planet, most enemies on it are easily chopped or gunned down in 1-2 hits even if the player had nothing but a skana and braton, usually though by this point the Strun and Bo dominate because of their base dps burst wich can carry for a long time without the use of mods.

Hell a player could get an incarnon strun if they drop a couple dabloons of their real life money or get carried by a friend in a steel path circuit.

I never carried anyone I knew because they deserved to feel the grind like every other little piss stain that played warframe.

It is kind of crazy that I'm living in that reality now, I wish I could skip the grind..

The playable grineer Kahl was 100× more badass and stronger than I am right now..

I doubt I will survive long enough to reach Kahl levels of destruction upon my enemies but I can hope.

Uhh.

Anyway what was happening?

Oh right Mars.

Yay..

"3 minutes ETA prepare to land!"

The radio chitters out, the ship noticeably slows and I can feel it lowering lithely.

After you guessed it, 3 minutes, the ship lands with a large thud sending me almost out of the seat, if it weren't for the trusty bar I would have eaten shit.

The gate descends and musty, hot, Mars air enters the ship.

"Let's get going, time is of the essence!'

Murck holsters his plinx and fits his cubic corpus helmet on. He marches out of the ship and I guess that means we have to follow him.

"I hate heat."

Nullus comments as the wind slaps his helmet? (head?) Idk.

The Grineer cha cha continues as Murck walks on.

"Dont worry the rendezvous is only half a mile from here so the deal should be quick."

"What exactly are you dealing, I mean you have nothing in you?"

I ask pointing to his bare clothing.

"Ah that's umm.. Confidential."

We head towards a ruined building from the original civilization that lived on Mars. No one knows who they really were, some say the Orokin subjugated and destroyed them others say they simply died out into obscurity, now their ancient relics and paintings are trampled by Grineer and Corpus war machines vying for power over land and nothing else.

Enough exposition blabbering I need to focus.

After Elden Ring my brain must have gotten fried or something because I just cant focus..

We walk into the ruins wich are about 10 degrees cooler than the outside surface of Mars.

Murck turns to us and says

"The person should be here in about 10 minutes you all can do whatever while we wait."

What the hell am I supposed to do for 5 minutes?

Gome approaches me and speaks in a low voice.

"Ey' if things go iffy yous got that void magic right? Something ain't adding up ere'"

"Uhh sure, but I'm sure nothing will go wrong."

Gome smirks lightly.

"Sure."

---

----

5 minutes later.

---

"Inus Murck how nice of you to come."

A womans voice chimes out from the foggy Mars surface, 10 figures emerge.

A super tall Grineer woman in intricate armor, most of it is scrapped together from random corpus parts and such, the main color theme is red, she is covered by 9 male grineer with basic gunner recruit armor, wich looks looted.

Huh these blokes look familiar.

Wait..

Hold up.

It's the um.

The damn uh.

Oh my god.

That is the same colors worn by those raiders that destroyed the mining factory.

This isnt good.

These guys arent going to go along with whatever that corpus fuck wants.

Murck claps his hands together.

"Very well we should get to business."

Murck approaches the gigantic woman with a gorgon and holds out his hand.

She lowers the big ass gun and grasps the hand firmly and shakes it thrice.

"A deals a deal."

"ALL RIGHT BOYS GET EM!"

Oh shit.

I FUCKING KNEW IT!

The 9 grineer pull their karaks up and begin spewing lead at us, fortunately we are still in the ruins and we have cover, problem is that we are outnumbered and and have nowhere to run. Fucker knew exactly where to take us to trap us. He had probably done this multiple times with no one living to tell of his treachery.

[Summon Terracotta Warrior]

[Summon Ratman Spirit]

GET EM BOYS!

Zhi takes his small bow out and begins taking aim.

Craig runs in with his zweihander and after about 2 seconds he becomes mince meat.

Damn atleast asian man is still alive.

"Were gonna need better magic Raxx c'mon doing sumthin'."

Gome yells out at me, moving to a different cover as Drum sprays with his sobek wildly, giving him time to move.

Nullus is..

Nowhere to be seen.

That bastard was working with him huh.

I need to not peek to long or he will blow my damn head off from wherever he is hiding.

The others are probably aware of this aswell judging by how they are moving.

So far Zhis arrows have simply bounced off the grineer armor so he is not much help.

Damnit I need to think.

All my skills are melee so I'm fucking useless right now damnit!

I spray my supra vandal sporadically, hitting fuck all.

Their leaders gorgon points the ruin, shaking it with every barrage.

"JUST GIVE UP AND WE WILL KILL YA FAST!"

The woman cackles, her ragged voice is annoying as fuck.

"SUCK MY BALLS!"

I scream back, wich is followed by bullets flying into the ruin.

I dont know what to do..

My battery for the supra vandal is gonna die soon.

Wait.

I pull a small golden ticket out of my inventory.

[Use?]

Yes!

NOW COME ON!

[Summoned Cabal Auxillary Legion]

[Time Remaining 14:59]

LETS FUCKING GOOO!!!

Gigantic booms sound out from the sky as 6 hulking figures shoot down onto the battlefield.

Dawned in white and purple shining titanium armor.

They all have strongman builds except for the 1 psion wich has a long red cape and a huge sniper rifle.

The grineer lady gasps in terror

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE THING. DONT WORRY MEN KEEP FIRING!"

She continues giving commands as her bullets plink off the 3 phalanxes shields.

Their formation is a simple skein with 3 shield shield bearers, 2 riflemen and the Psion buffing them while providing support.

"Gome, Drum LETS KILL THESE FUCKERS!'

YEAAAAHHHH!!!

I charge out and begin spraying at the grineer woman, I get up to the shield wall and begin shooting over the legatus' shoulder, he simply grunts in affirmation, Drum stays in the back supporting the Psion Gome goes on the right side of the shield wall and we begin slowly advancing, so far 3 of the raiders have been killed or incapacitated, no sight of the corpus and his cyborg lackey.

The Psion clacks out orders in a language I cant comprehend but I imagine they are good because we are shitting on the raiders.

"F-FALL BACK MEN!"

The grineer leader turns tail and begins running for her life the Psions laser sight whirs.

*ZWOOSH*

A rail of hot laser leaves a trial, a hole appears in the commanders head, she drops forward immediately and blood pours out of the remains of her head.

The legion continues forward trampling her body into a pancake.

I take the dread out of my inventory and take aim at a fleeing bandit.

I release and with a small flash of blue energy it flies a little low and hits the gap in his leg armor, removing the limb from his body.

I draw the bow once more and take aim.

The crawling grineer begins going towards a rock but is stopped by an arrow to the back of the head.

Speaking of archery where is Zhi?

I glance behind me and see a pile of clay..

Ahh das what happened.

[Time Remaining 3:45]

We need to wrap this up.

There are 3 left, a normal raider, the sniper and the corpus.

The raider took cover behind a boulder but shouldn't pose a threat.

But the sniper Nullus will be a problem for sure seeing how he slipped away he probably has an invisibility cloak.

Drum loads his grenade launcher and begins firing at the rock.

I hear a cry of pain and know that the enemy is hit.

"I-I SURRENDER!"

He comes out with his arms up.

The cabal all fire in unisom and shred his body into paste.

So much for mercy, we could have sold him for a good bit of cash.

We need to find the sniper before he gets a read on us.

[Time Remaining 0:15]

Shit.

Just in the time I look around frantically for the sniper the Cabal begin dissolving into golden energy.

I take cover behind a rock and hand signal to the boys to take cover.

They nod and crash behind a small ruined wall.

After a minute of the most stressful waiting in my life a strange noise permeates across the dust.

Is that?

..

..

Whistling?

A cybernetic voice chimes out.

"Looking for me?"

*thunk*

A bloody head flies past the rock I'm sitting behind.

"There were 7 more that captured the pilot. They are deleted."

I look closely and see that the head is the slimy bastard Murck.

"They had 200k credits. I will give you all half of it."

I peak and see the cyborg standing with his gun in his back, blood covers his armor.

"Uh. Why should we trust you!"

"Because the employers head is infront of you."

"Uh. Good point!"

I slowly emerge from the rock.

The cyborg claps.

"Good job dealing with those scum while outnumbered, you must all be quite good at fighting."

Yeah..

We are sure good at fighting huh..

Gome cracks up lightly..

"Well follow me, the pilot will take us back to the bazzar."

Nullus turns and starts walking away casually.

I guess it's time to get off this shit planet.

[A/N]

Next chapter is probably gonna be a side story from Kings perspective to show what he is doing now and all that funk, so it will probably shorter.

Chapterly song suggestion: Surrogate - The Raven Age