Am I really doing this?

The after party went well and we all left for our different homes,but it remains a fresh memory in my head. It was indeed the beginning of a life I never prepared for.I did not count the cost of what I wanted to build just like the Bible affirmed it that if any man wants to build a house,he must first count the cost.(paraphrased). I presumed it would go well like it had on some people. I wanted to experience a new life,I wanted to know what it looks like,you know, tasting something new. Just as every teen wants to taste every bit of youthful life,am I wrong to just do the same?

Let's go...

So,after so much persuasion and pester, Bryan and I exchanged contacts and bid each other goodbye to meet on WhatsApp.

' I'll message you,so expect my message Hun.' He smiled as he said.

'Once I notice you disturbing me,I block you'. I said as I smacked my lips.

' Hmmmn....okay...yyy'. He stuttered. and continued 'I just love your kind of person and would like us to be frien..d..sss. He stuttered

'Okay...friends!'. I retorted.

He brought his hands forward for a handshake,as I gazed at those fingers to shake his hands,I thought, "Am I really doing the right thing".But then, I immediately glue the thought to the wall of my heart. Me, talking to my self, ' it's not bad trying new friends and new things,after all I just graduated from College,I'm a big girl now..."Just like every girl would say when exploring their teenage years and she feels she can do whatever she feels like doing regardless'.(smiles). It's not always like that. Just watch how mine turned out.

I returned home late that day.Since it was graduation day and last time with friends,I took time out with friends. It was quite understandable when Mrs Davis saw me walk in.

'Welcome,hope you had fun?'. She smiled as she said.

'I have been waiting for you'.She added.

'I'm sorry ma,I'll just go get my food after taking my bath'. I responded.

She just nodded her head,and said, 'Let me pray for you before I go to sleep'.She said slowly.

She prayed for me heartily that night and headed to her room sluggishly. She was looking so stressed. She must have been waiting for me. I thought.

Mrs Davis had so much in common with my mum. She is always emphasising godly living, boring me with Bible stories and forcing me to go for Church services.One side of her that bores me. As in,ehee. Hers is even worse than Mum's.

Of course,I know there is God somewhere,but I don't just believe in godly stuffs.(smiles).Days of ignorance ehn,you wonder why you think odd at times...

I headed to my room to have a change of clothes,took dinner afterwards and was ready to sleep,just then, I remembered I had not posted graduation pictures.How on Earth did I forget to do that all day? That Bryan boy is taking a toll on me, I thought.

I posted all the beautiful pictures I took and with friends. My status page was filled with so much pictures,just my usual though. Everyone that knows me know that.

Messages started popping up almost mediately I switched to data mode.Amazingly, Bryan's message came in so bold,that I couldn't resist checking it.

' Hello beautiful, I know you had a stressful day already.Just do well to eat and rest. I l..e you.

I'd call you Rabel anyways. Thanks for accepting my offer of friendship.

Goodnight'.

I was already blushing, you know, it's my first time getting such from a guy.I mean.

' where did he get 'Rabel' for goodness sake'.I muttered as I read through his chat.

But really,I was starting to like him,but I didn't want to show it.

I just replied

' Thank you.Jerk'.

The feeling of being loved by a guy for the first time enveloped me. I couldn't resist thinking about him for days and whenever I open Whatsapp to check messages,I'm always eager to see his message pop up.

Is this me crushing on a guy ? like girls in my class would say, ' Oh, that guy is my crush...blah blah'.

We had grown from knowing each other to becoming very close friends and I couldn't stop thinking about him whenever we call or text each other. He was filling the vacuum of a a friend in my heart at that moment and he was just all I could think of.

Infatuation,I guess. I needed help.

I decided to talk it out with a friend.

Janice and Gladys were already distant from me . Immediately after graduation,Janice relocated to the US to be with her mum while Gladys travelled to Canada for a long holiday. I just couldn't tell them about Bryan. I wouldn't even want to tell Janice,she could flare up again.To think that the guy who was staring at me at the restaurant is now a friend,she would definitely feel bad. I thought.

I didn't want to tell Mrs Davis.She might not give me the kind of advice I want. I thought.

*****

Just what every teenager feels.You feel you can't get the best answer or advice if you ask your parents or guardian or they'll just tag you as a bad child. . .and then you resort to telling a friend.

Hmmmn....a friend!

Exactly my choice too,guess who I told.