"Okay. On to the next issue of business, the results of the Pact Commander election." Trahearne, the Pact Marshal and first born of the Sylvari moved the historic meeting along by opening an envelope, "And I am proud to announce the Caddock Ironclaw is the new Commander of the Pact.
"The fuck?" I shouted at the robbery of my boys Scythe and Asgeir who were both in the final four for the Pact Commander selection process.
Caddock Ironclaw was another of my alts. A gargantuan pale Charr with ivory horns and white anime hair in a silver suit of Charr Dreadnought armor. Even slouched in typical fashion for his species he stood taller than a Kodan and was twice as broad in the shoulders. Dude was a house and half like all my other alts.
"Now now, this process was entirely fair." Trahearne answered, "Caddock simply acquired more votes than your friends. He is very charismatic and a fine Guardian."
"Can we now discuss the literal god that beat down the dragon champion like it was a baby faced adventurer!" General Soulkeeper of the Vigil shouted.
"Hmm… his appearance was all according to plan." Trahearne stated and said no more.
"Bullshit!" The General called him out.
"Your skepticism is also according to plan." Trahearne assured her, "Anyway with Claw Island retaken we must secure supply lines for our plunge into Orr, while simultaneously upping recruitment and continuing to investigate methods to weaken Zhaitan so that he may be defeated."
"Why don't we just send the god in to kick his ass?" the General inquired and I thought about it a bit.
"I think I can do it." I told them, "Zhaitan is kinda a bitch Elder Dragon. He isn't very big, maybe four times the size of Blightghast who I totally murked. Kralkatorrik's head is bigger than Blightghast's whole body and the rest of him is fucking enormous too, so maybe you guys should consider getting some reps in dunking on the bitch dragon before you try messing with the big boys."
"I believe Grax is correct." Trahearne nodded, "If we rely on him to defeat even the weakest of the dragons, what will be left for us should he come up short against the strongest? No, we need to fight Zhaitan ourselves."
"Good man. Now I am going home before I have to console my pals about nobody liking them." I grinned then ran for the nearest teleporter to take me back to Rata Sum.
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Despite the Pact wanting to tough it out on their own, I worked with Zojja and many other Asura to perfect the flying ships and heavy weaponry used for the assault on the Undead Dragon in his risen fortress. Unfortunately, it was obvious that for us to complete the MEGA-LIT cannon that destroyed Zhaitan in the game, we would need to get our hands on Kudu's research into dragon energy.
Fortunately we had a handful of months to wait before the Pact would even make landfall in Orr as the dragon had saturated the land and sea approaching his kingdom with many powerful undead.
This gave us more than enough time to welcome four new babies into the family.
Personally I don't recommend inventing a hover tech golem nanny to take care of your children, but when you have changed as many diapers as I have over the decades the magic dwindles and it is probably a good time to look into alternative care options you can trust, and I trust the AI I programmed a lot more than I trust any of the slack jawed morons around Rata Sum to do the job.
Despite inventing such a wonderful way to get out of parenting, I was very taken with the house elf looking son I had with Zojja. That enormous head that came out of her tiny body wasn't just for show, the kid was already trying to talk as a newborn. Only little baby noises, but by the end of the week I was teaching the guy his first words and sign language.
It wasn't a smashed pyjak or a sick double leg takedown, but little Graff was quickly shaping up to be my favorite child ever. Sure he would never be some behemoth battle titan, but the kid would have a mind like now one else and would soon be putting all the capital letters into SCIENCE!
Jack and I were once more subjected to joys of parenting, but our newest son was the first quasigod born in the family, and Brock did not disappoint as his infrequent wails were enough to shake the city around us. Fortunately, the kid was maturing fast and would likely experience a greatly reduced growth curve.
Medusa's kid, a little purple haired bastard, was on a similar curve considering her low personal divinity had strengthened considerably after we consumed Baelfire.
Despite her misgivings, Wanda turned out to be the best of the four mothers, likely because she cared the most. Jack, Medusa, and I had been there done that with being parents, and Zojja had that natural Asuran disinterest in her progeny. Wanda brought her first daughter, Clara, into the world and it was like watching a huge weight come off her shoulders. The fear and the doubt gave way in the moment because it always does for Wanda. The woman is stalwart under fire, and she knows that when push comes to shove the only people with more cram in the tank than her are the same people who have been standing beside her for decades.
It was beautiful to see, but it was time for all of them to get off their asses and get hustling cause we are entering the endgame. I had already pursued as much of Omadd's research as I could, and would soon need to head to Dry Top to examine his machine personally. It wasn't near time to use it, but I can't afford for it to be lost.
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Leaving the kids with their robo nannies, Zojja ported us to the region around Mount Maelstrom, and outside of the Inquisition lab Crucible of Eternity.
"Alright people, let's kick ass, take names, and steal research." Zojja declared in her new tiny suit of power armor.
"Ahem." Logan Thackery fake coughed to get our attention where he appeared behind some rocks with Rytlock Brimstone, Caddock Ironclaw, and my human noble alt Ranger, Lee Otis. Tan skin and golden eyes and hair with a black leather and fur outfit and a pair of pet bears.
"Were you people waiting there for us?" Zojja asked, a little offended.
"Of course not." Logan.
"Yes." Rytlock.
"Why?" Zojja.
"We knew you were going to attack this place without us." Rytlock.
"I never imagined there would ever be an us between you and Logan again." Zojja.
"We have moved on from the past." Logan.
"It's a work in progress." Rytlock.
"Adorable." Zojja teased, "Now tell your goons that we need to make sure we don't destroy any of the lab equipment. The people are all fair game, and if any of them try to purge their research you focus on stopping them. The data collected by this lab is the difference between us beating Zhaitan and Grax beating Zhaitan."
"I like being in position to win no matter which way things go." Lee Otis smirked with his too handsome golden Aragorn looks.
"It sure beats the lose-lose situations we have been in for so long." Caddock agreed, "Excuse me." The big Charr called out as he came forward, "Centurion Caddock Ironclaw of the Blood Legion and Commander of the Pact, are you the family that slew Gaehron Baelfire and severely weakened the Flame Legion high command?"
"That was us." Jack nodded in her suit of power armor.
"You have the thanks of the Blood Legion, that's for sure." Caddock grinned showing off his mouthful of fangs, "Because of you the Flame Legion ceased most of their sabotage and skirmishes south of the Blazeridge Steppes. We managed to push them all the way back to their fortress and slew their Tribune, Burntclaw. But before we could finish the job we came across a foe too great for us to face through strength of arms or numbers. He spared us and sent us on with a message of challenge to the tiny Norn that broke the Flame Legion. He said to come face him one final time, and experience the power he has attained."
"Fucking sick, thanks man." I grinned at the Charr and knew where I was going after this raid.
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With the four of us together once more we were able to do all the routes through the Crucible of Eternity at once and clean the lab out swiftly. I went with Zojja and Rytlock and we cleared the path to Kudu in a hurry and caught the guy in his office clearing out his personal effects.
"Shit!" he declared seeing us, "Could you not have taken five more minutes! I knew I shouldn't have come back for Mr. Tinky!"
The evil manlet held a shivering Chihuahua with his oversized hand.
"Mr. Tinky, you've killed daddy!" Kuku despaired.
Not one to let the man down, Zojja blew his head off with an overpowered laser rifle.
"Betrayal repaid, bitch." she spat.
A hologram of Kudu popped up on his desk.
"Damn it!" It screamed, "If you are seeing this recording I am dead, and as a final fuck you the playing of this recording coincides with the release of my ultimate creation, a monster capable of using the dragon energy of each known Elder Dragon. I'd wish you luck surviving, you pathetic swine, but the fact that you have outlived me fills me with rage. Die fools!"
A primal roar shook the Inquest Facility and a fist punched up through the stone floor of Kudu's office.
"Ah shit!" Rytlock screamed as he was flung across Kudu's oversized super villain office.
"What the fuck is that thing!" Zojja shrieked while she beat a hasty retreat blasting the hand with her rifle.
"Oh yes!" I shouted, "Here I was worried that today would be boring!"
Kudu's monster pulled itself up into the office and to its full thirty feet height, crackling with various sources of energy. To match it I went full golden god form and smashed the thing with my supersized Hammer of Might.
It flew across the office, screamed, and began melting the stones around it by attuning to Primordus's flame energy.
Not afraid of fire at all I charged in and began hacking and slashing the son of a bitch. His energy density made him very hard to injure, but my attacks were taking their toll on him. Switching to crystal, the giant tried to overwhelm me by firing a wave of pink spikes at me.
I brushed that shit aside with ease. After fighting Gilgamesh, throwing weapon spam doesn't phase me at all.
Foregoing my weapons, I threw that big boy to the ground and descended on him like the grim reaper, unleashing an endless barrage of punches that drove us back into the basement.
When I finished, there was just enough of his head left to fill a thimble.
Now to go see a kitty about a rematch.
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Damn, I am tired. I had some stuff to say, but I am out homies.