CHAPTER 33
"What is it, baby? Is everything okay?" Hmm, that's the problem I'm not getting. Is everything okay?
It's too bloody to digest anything; day by day, it's creeping me out. I need a break from everything. "It's been 3 months, and I have recovered. We should talk about the co-parenting thing." "What?" We had agreed to this. Why the hell is he in shock? It's not unexpected. Yeah, a bit soon. I can't help it. It was his fault, and I was feeling suffocating.
"We had agreed, right? Why are you in shock?" "It's soon, don't you think?" "Anyway, we already agreed; why not start planning?" "Yeah, for planning too, it's too soon; you are still feeding." "Yeah, about that, I thought of discussing it with you; let Aarav stay with me for a few more months; we can decide about the rest, right?" "What, are you serious?" "I am feeding; don't you think he should stay with me more than with you? For the time being, later we can decide about everything." What the hell was there to decide I was not getting? I started having a good life with my two boys. She is fucking planning on moving. Is she crazy? Once again, I should come up with something. Just fucking great." Ana, it's too soon. Still, if you want to move from here, let me arrange everything else for both the kids, including the flat and other necessary things. Yours is too small for both the kids; it will take time, so stay a few more months, ok? You won't lose anything, so don't argue." "What about the co-parenting thing?" "We will decide that too. Now go to sleep." "Ok, as you wish." With that, she slept beside me, and my sleep was gone.
Aaron and Aarav, my two adorable sons, how the hell was I going to leave apart from them, I can take custody of Aarav easily, but what about Aaron, I can't let go of Aaron, where the hell I went wrong from the past few months I am fucking behaving not to please Ana, no it's just automatic my legs were dragging towards home, I was not giving preference to anything else, completely stopped my other every fucking thing, I have become a fucking good guy dam I can't believe it, still Ana was thinking to move from here, what the hell was her problem, why can't she just go with the flow, like seriously everything is fucking perfect, was this one blind can't she see how everything was going around her.
When I suggested this co-parenting thing, I wanted to shut Ana and make her agree to keep my child. I never thought in-depth about anything. Now if I think it's feeling scary, if Ana moved out from here, what about Aarav? He is a newborn; there is no need to face any bullshit, and Aaron is so attached to me that he won't take this lightly. How the hell was I going to explain everything to Ana and make her stay here? Bloody fucker, I was. Why the hell did I suggest the fucking co-parenting thing? Now what the hell am I supposed to do now?
Day by day, Ana was looking gloomy, always in deep thought about what the hell she would always be thinking and why the hell she would use that outdated brain of hers so much. God, somewhere I am worried about her excess thinking; not to forget, girls' minds are fickle, and with this one, I can't take any chances and come up with anything, anytime.
Aarav turned 5 months old, and to change the environment, I took everyone to the park for an outing of a few hours just for Ana. I am not able to see her gloomy face, and no matter what, I am not able to bring her out of that state.
We were in the park; Aaron was playing with other kids; I was holding Aarav; and Ana was beside me watching Aaron. After a few minutes, Aaron came running toward Ana and made her join him, and she gave in. Thank God for that. They both started playing together and finally, I saw Ana's smiling face after a long time. I was mesmerized for a few seconds, and I was only watching her and nothing else. What the hell? How the hell did she capture my attention just by smiling?
After a few minutes, both were back, exhausted. Ana took Aarav from my hands, and immediately Aaron was in my arms, literally clinging if I am not wrong; he was jealous, and he was expressing himself this way. I couldn't help but hold him even tighter, and this is the reason I don't want fucking changes in my life, not when I am fucking 'content' from every Goddam thing, and I am sorry, Ana.
I was in the middle of a board meeting when Ana barged into my cabin with burning anger. Did I get the result so soon? Fuck, get ready to control the storm. Everyone at the meeting was startled, including me. How the hell am I going to stop this storm from vanishing me?
She came running towards me and started shouting at the top of her lungs, holding my collar, "You bastard, I can't believe this; how the hell did you fucking do this to me again?" Expected outcome and unexpected timing. Damn, I didn't get time to prepare for this outburst. I gave the signal to everyone present at the meeting, and one by one they started walking out, and yeah, it was show time.
"Calm down Ana, what is wrong with you, and what I did do this time", "What you did do, you fucking bastard I am fucking pregnant again", What, how come, did you tested", "Fucking yes bastard after seeing the result I came running towards you, how can you, you don't get fucking right I am going to kill you", "Baby calm down every time you can't blame me, as you said in front of you didn't I wore the condom and changed pills too, how come it's my mistake", "Bastard who told you to seduce me one thing led to another I end up getting pregnant your fucking mistake", and again with a high pitch and burning anger, if she didn't bring the topic of moving out how the hell she would end up this way, every time it's her fucking mistake can't she just think about it rather than reliving her wrath on me.
"Ana, as I said, I followed everything as per your instruction, but still you ended up getting pregnant I guess my 'sperms' are hyperactive if you want to blame, please you should blame them and your 'eggs' common I am innocent as a newborn baby", "Shut it bastard, shut it I knew it's your fucking mistake we are going to the hospital, and we are getting rid of it, and I fucking mean it, if you dare to disagree without your fucking permission I am going to get abortion understood", "Right, loud and clear baby, ok let's go to the hospital cross-verify your pregnancy, ok", "I am making clear I am getting an abortion", "Let's discuss it in the hospital after the checking result ok, common", with that I dragged her, like hell, I am letting her to get an abortion, for fuck's sake, I have enough wasted my sperms not anymore.
We were at the hospital, and my friend Zack was hardly stopping himself from bursting out. He went through the same test, and the result was positive. Zack started doing an ultrasound to check out whether the baby was healthy and had any heartbeat. As he placed the ultrasound on Ana's stomach, we were watching the monitor, and I could see two heartbeats. I immediately saw Zack; he was already facing me. "Congratulations, it's twins.".
I was totally mute for a few seconds, and fucking shock words were not coming out when we were at our peak of happiness. Is this how we were going to react? Zack exited the cabin, and still, I was speechless, including Ana. We were silent. If I am not mistaken, the mindset she was carrying a few minutes before was completely changed by hearing the doctor's words.
"Ana, it's twins," "I am not deaf," "So," "I don't know," "Still sticking to getting an abortion," "I don't know, bastard, please stop questioning me," she started crying, and I felt an ache seeing her tears. For the past few days, so many things have not made sense, and for the first time, I am happy about the result but not about my move; she doesn't deserve this, and I don't deserve to be alone away from my boys, including Ana.
"Ana", "What", "We should get going", "I hate you, bastard, I hate you so much I feel like burning you or skin you alive, whatever gives you the best pain", "Yeah good imagination, you know you are free to do anything when you sleep in your dreams, totally you are free, so shall we go now", "You are once again calm, like bloody calm", "What do you expect Ana", "Have you totally forgot that you are still engaged to Patricia and she won't spare us this time, how can you act so calm we are entangled with a psychopath who is bloody outrageous, this news will reach her soon than what", "Ana, for now, I don't want Patricia in this picture, it's our happiness I don't want any interruption I know you are not happy and I am not able to express my happiness, so as I said before I will take care of Patricia so don't be afraid of her, try to ignore her forever ok, common let's get going", after consulting Zack we exited the hospital.