CHAPTER 14

Every word from Randolph was back-to-back; he was taking a few second breaks to catch his breath and to control his anger. Other than physical handling, he poured his heart out through words. I never thought his perception of me was so degrading.

The predicted outcome didn't utter a word after that outburst. I walked out of his cabin by controlling my tears, which were threatening to flow at any time. It was the second time I went through the same humiliation, but my ex didn't humiliate me this much before dumping me. I fell for a guy who is not only hating my existence but my birth itself.

My mind was provoked to retaliate, but my heart was aching after hearing everything. It didn't feel like I wanted to erase his opinion about me; nothing felt important at that moment. I wanted to be alone, and letting my tears flow at present was the only way to calm myself.

I knew he was a mean and cold person, but these were outrageous, brutal words to say on their face without any empathy. I never thought this day would come when I would be questioning myself about my existence; it really barely mattered. Even in my struggling days in an orphanage, I never condemned myself this way and always stayed positive and wanted to survive no matter what.

I knew I would regret my confession, but I still gave in. At the peak of my stupidity, I never thought he was going to humiliate me in a ruthless manner. I was trying to concentrate on my work, but I was completely blank, my mind was empty, and my life was lifeless. I saw the system screen without blinking my eyes, and tears started flowing. I could not hold it anymore, desperately wiping it out. I didn't think I was going to stop until I poured my heart out.

I started feeling suffocating in this cabin and environment, especially with him. If I stayed one more minute, I would get mad, for sure. The next thing I did was apply for leave for ten days, drop mail, and make my way to my flat. I wanted to escape from everything. After reaching the flat, I packed my stuff and went to my newly found heaven, which was my second home, where I could be at peace and make me forget everything. 'Destiny Island' is where I invested in the hotel, which was a dead investment, just like my feelings for Randolph.

It was a 4-hour flight, and I informed my hotel caretaker, Ms. Emma David, who is 45 years old and not married, that I was going to be late. She was going to pick me up. I reached around 10 p.m., and my caretaker, Emma, was waiting. We hugged each other. It was so warm; she had questioning eyes. I didn't want to tell her anything yet; maybe later. I was tired from everything and needed food and a good rest. After reaching, I had my dinner, and I went directly to bed.

The next day, I woke up to the sound of waves. I was so calm and peaceful for a moment, but the previous day's incident started hitting my memory. My eyes were wet again, and I was not able to get rid of them. Those words were like a slap to my face, deep wounding my heart. I got up from my bed and went to get fresh up. After that, I was searching for Emma. She came out of the kitchen area, and she didn't ask anything, waiting for me to pour my heart out. I hugged her and started crying. She was soothing me. After a few minutes, Emma made me take a seat at the table and bought breakfast, which we both started having. I began to share everything with her. Patiently, she was listening and trying to console me.

After having breakfast, I made my way towards the beach and started walking. The wind was blowing strongly, and I was hoping it would take my sadness with it. I sat on the sand, looking at the sea. Again, my mind was occupied with the previous day's incident, and I was contemplating which one was stronger, my love for him or his perception of me. Of course, my few days of love are nothing in front of the image I got in his eyes over the past few years.

Why do people lack sense? Did I choose this life on purpose? If I had a choice, I would not be willing to lead an ordinary or rich life like any other. From the day I was in the orphanage, I hated my life like anything and wanted to get rid of it by killing myself, but I was too cowardly to do that. Somehow, I accepted my faith and started leading my life. What right do they have to judge me? I didn't have any problem leading my life the way I am.

I was not happy. I wanted every normal thing—my parents's love, siblings' care, grandparents' words, relatives, and close friends—to be with me in every situation and a life partner who would embrace everything irrespective of the outcome. I wanted every single thing. I was not lucky; I accepted it too. Why the hell are you trying to throw it in my face? Was it necessary? Would anyone like to be born this way? That does not define anything bastard. So, done with everything, one thing was sure: I was not going to pledge my feelings to anyone again, no matter what. This is it; I am fucking done. I am staring at the waves, and I was thinking that by any chance they would try to take my sadness away. When I get back, I want to start my life by forgetting everything.

It was already evening; I didn't feel like having anything and didn't want to go back to the hotel. I started walking near the seashore. As I was walking, I saw a group of people who had gathered together and were talking about something. Curiosity caught me, and I made my way towards that group. In the middle of that group, I saw a baby crying non-stop. I was shocked for a few seconds at what the hell the baby was doing in the middle of nowhere, and these bunch of idiots were busy sympathizing by staying far away rather than taking a step to console the baby.

I immediately approached the baby, took the baby in my arms, and I was trying to comfort the baby, but the baby was crying even more. I was not getting what I had to do. So, I took the baby and ran towards Emma, who is an expert in these things. After reaching, I was searching for Emma. She came out of one of the hotel rooms, and as soon as she heard the baby cry, she ran towards me. I explained everything to her. Someone, please tell me why I was also crying.

Emma ran towards the kitchen, bought some food, and started feeding the baby. Ok, this was the reason the baby was so hungry. Once Emma started feeding, it stopped crying. After a few minutes, I started examining the baby. Thank God, there was no fever around 3 or 4 years old, as per Emma's prediction, and we checked the baby's gender; it was a boy. From everything, the baby was tired for sure and slept within a minute on my lap. I was quite taken aback.

This feeling was something different. I was staring at the baby's face and started studying its features. This cute baby wants to squeeze those chubby cheeks. Who would be so heartless as to leave this boy near the beach if something had happened? When they don't have any intention to raise a child, why the hell bother to give birth? Can't they be fucking using bloody protection? It was to save us from this kind of situation. From how many hours the baby was crying, his eyes had become puffy. By any chance, this baby died. Oh god, I can't imagine the worst scenario. Afterward, I took the baby to my room, covered in a blanket, and made my way towards the hall.

Emma was waiting for me. I made my way toward the dining hall and served food to each other when Emma said, "Tomorrow we should take the baby to the police station and explain everything to them. The baby might have been kidnapped and left near the beach. It's only a few hours before you met him that you were not able to control your tears. What might be the situation of his parents suffering once they find out about their baby missing? By any chance, they might register a complaint at the police station. If that is the case, the baby is lucky to be reunited with his parents." "Yes, you are right; I didn't think this way. Yeah, we should make sure to hand over the baby to his rightful parents. The first thing will go together to the station."

After finishing dinner, I made my way toward the room. The baby was sleeping peacefully. I was observing his face, pondering how anyone could be so heartless as to leave this angel on the beach. I took him close to me by hearing his study breathing sound. I don't know when I felt so peaceful.

The next day, I and Emma took the baby and made our way to the police station. We met the cop, Mr. Alexander Smith, and explained everything to him. Soon, he called someone and told us to wait for a few minutes. We were waiting again when the cop approached us and informed us to hand over the baby to a female whose name was Ms. Johana James. She was from some foster care. Until they found his real parents, the baby was going to stay in foster care.

After hearing that, I made my grip on the baby even stronger. No, not there. How many babies will be in foster care? Whoever is going to take care of him will dump him like any other baby. The cop and that lady were trying to get the baby from me, but I was not willing to give it to them again. The cop said, "We can't keep the baby in the station at present; foster care is best." "Yeah, but from yesterday on, the baby was crying continuously again. If it cries, who is going to take care?" "Don't worry, mam; someone will be there to take care." "Baby can stay with me till you find his real parents; I will take care of him." "It won't work that way, mam; we have rules to follow." "Please, I am not stopping you, but instead of foster care, I will take care of the baby. Somehow, the baby is doing okay now, and suddenly, once again, changing the environment is not a good idea. I can provide you with the necessary documents, and you can check up on him daily, or else I can bring him to the station. He is hardly a few years old. I mean, no harm to him. I don't want him to feel abandoned again. In the first place, if I hadn't come here voluntarily, you people wouldn't know about this, so that's it. I will take care of him." "You are giving us headaches, mam; it won't work that way." "Please trust me, I will pledge necessary documents with you people if I do that, where possibly I can run away. More than this, I don't know how to convince you guys. I am not going to hand over the baby, no matter what." 

Cops, including that woman, Johana, were not sure how to convince me. Both cops and that lady went a little bit far from us. I guess to discuss this after a few minutes, they came back. Fine, I will check on him daily. If we come up with any updates, I will call you. "Ok, thank you so much. Have a good day." With that, I left the station immediately. I didn't want to take the risk if they changed their mind. What a relief! Unknowingly, a smile erupted on my face. Only a few days. It's not your child. Don't get too attached. My mind started to pass on messages. I don't care. I am going to take care of this baby as mine till he stays with me.

After reaching the hotel, Emma went to the kitchen to prepare meals. In the meantime, we were both playing. Now the biggest question was how to address him. Still, he stays with me; I should call him by some name. I thought of a few possible names. As I found him near the sea, anything related to the sea. Would it be cliché—something that sounds stronger and makes him strong? I started to google out names, and in just a few minutes, I finalized one, Aaron. Let us not bother about surnames now; just Aaron, my Aaron. Until he stays with me, he will be my baby, Aaron.

After that, Emma joined us, and I informed her about the name; she was happy to hear it and was also cautioning me not to get attached. I am okay. Aaron's being with me for a few days was enough. We had lunch together and thought of making him sleep for a while. We tried so hard, but he didn't sleep, no matter what. We ended up playing with him, and in no time, it was already evening. The power of kids is that if they are at home, there is no need to find any other means to pass the time.

As it was evening, the weather would be good. I thought of taking him outside for a stroll and inviting Emma to join us, but she didn't join us as she had some work, so we made our way towards the beach to get some fresh air. Soon I got to know it was my big mistake. He would leave my hand and run towards the beach to play. If he was playing near the seashore, it was ok with me, but he would try to go inside the beach. Catching him in time and dragging him back was very hard, but that wasn't it. He would leave my hand and run. I don't know where I should always be cautious. He is way too naughty. I don't know anything about kids. He was making me consider the option not to have one, but I was enjoying every act of his. By the time we returned to the hotel, both were exhausted. Emma prepared dinner and was waiting for us. Aaron was very hungry; he was eating by himself. After finishing our dinner, we went to bed and slept tightly.

For a few days, this was our routine: playing, eating, and wandering outside. Everything was with my baby Aaron; he had successfully captured my whole world and was the perfect distraction. Not even a second unnecessary thing was popping up in my mind, and somewhere I was starting to feel how it would be if my life would be like this forever if Aaron stayed with me, expecting too much. I don't have any right to separate him from his parents; he deserves a better life, which can't be provided by me. The cops were visiting us frequently, but there were still no updates about his parents or any relatives.

I had applied only for ten days of leave. Today was the ninth day, and there was no latest update about Aaron's parents. I was getting worried about his most important question: What should I do with him until he finds his parents? I would not send him to any foster care. If I were gone from here, what other options do cops have other than foster care? I can't dump him on Emma; she is taking care of everything in my hotel, and I can't give her more pressure. Looking after a kid is a full-time job. What should I do? The cops know about my departure; anytime soon they will arrive here to talk about Aaron. What the hell should I do now? My mind is totally a mess.

By evening, Alexander and Johana came, and I greeted both of them and made them take a seat. Emma and I were sitting beside each other, and Aaron was sitting on my lap. Alexander spoke, "Ms. Merlyn, we tried our best, but still, we were not able to find any information about the baby. Our search is going on. Don't worry, we will try our best to find his real parents, or else we will think of what can be done, both for his best and for his bright future. As you are leaving the island tomorrow, we need to send him to foster care. Trust me, they will give their best to every child over there. Don't worry; for a few days, you took good care of him. Someday, he has to leave you. That is, today, we will try to secure his future." 

Their convincing sentence was pointless to me. I am not able to agree to send him to foster care. Ms. Johana said, "Mam will take care of him as our own child till we find his real parents; if not, we will find the best family for him; without any background check; we won't approve any adoption application; trust us, please." Both were looking at me for some answers. Adoption is the worst-case scenario. If the family portrays themselves as good, adopt Aaron and do something for my baby; he is too young.

I was not saying anything; my hold on Aaron was even tighter. Again, Ms. Johana spoke: "Are you willing to adopt him? I know it's just a few days, and you are so attached to the baby, so are you willing to take this step?" I was like, "Wait, what? No, no, what I know about parenting, I was just concerned about Aaron; he is only a few years old." "Aaron, interesting; you already gave him a name; I liked it; we will call him by that name from now onwards; rest assured, we will try to secure his future; can you handover him to us?"

I was not willing. I saw Ms. Johana's face. She was up to something I was not getting: "Ok, please suggest us; you want what is best for him; I am getting that; you are not willing to adopt nor handing over to us, so according to you, where should Aaron place yours or ours?" "I am just concerned about Aaron's future," "Yes, we are getting that, as you found him and took care of him these days, you can have the privilege of suggesting what's best for him, as we all want the best for him. We will consider your suggestion, so Ms. Merlyn, come with us to foster care and see how we are going to take care of him and the environment. Maybe you will be convinced there will be so many kids like him he won't feel lonely.".

This woman I don't want him treated just as another abandoned child. I am not letting this happen, in any case. "I want to adopt Aaron. Is it possible?" Ms. Johana had a satisfying smile. "The most important question, Ms. Merlyn, is: are you willing to adopt him? Such a big step. Are you ready to be a parent?" "I am worried; I never had a child before and didn't take care of any child other than Aaron." "Don't worry, Ms. Merlyn, we are women. It's inbuilt. My instinct is that you will be a good mother. Don't think too much; act immediately if any family approaches; we have to give priority to them." "No, no, he is my child; ok, I am going to adopt him; please prepare the necessary documents required for the same. Before departing from this place, I will try to fulfill the requirement."

After conveying the same, I was facing Johana. She was giving a mission-accomplished smile. Was this a trap? Should I give Dam now? I am going to adopt him. Ms. Johana said, "OK, it will take a few days to complete formalities." "OK, please try to get my part done by tomorrow; once everything is completed from your side, call me; I will take Aaron from here till then Aaron will stay with Emma; please, not even for a day, I am sending him to Foster Care." Both didn't argue with a satisfactory smile; both left my place.

Wow, she trapped me successfully. I have to accept that this was the best decision of my life. I want to be a good parent from today on. Nothing else I got other than him; he had vanished my sadness in a few seconds.

By seeing his face, I can overcome anything, no matter what. Finally, coming here was a good thing. I got a pearl from the sea, and the pearl's name is 'Aaron'. From now on, I have to look after him with care, spoil him, and try to give him everything. His small, unique, chubby face, tiny fingers, giggles, babbling words, and the sound of his breath while sleeping had immense power to vanquish anything.